Short
by Selestyna Arpa364
Summary: Kotone comes to Ouran and meets a certain Host who is just her size! HunnyxOC Rated T for sailor's mouth, some vulgarity and other shenannigans.
1. Chapter 1

Hey. My name is Suzuki Kotone and I am 17. I have long black hair, dark brown eyes, and tan skin (my mom is Mexican….dad is Japanese) I speak English, Spanish, and Japanese. My favorite hobbies are sailing, playing my harp, and dance (any kind). I just moved to Japan from America because of my mother. She decided to expand my father's banking business and her modeling career after he died this year. I actually didn't mind so much…as long as it meant going away from the shitty private school I went to in New York. We moved in the summer so I could finish my last term at my private school in America.

Since we settled in our mansion in Tokyo, (its HUGE! Its even got a separate music room and a dance studio) mom insisted I go to the best private school around…so I was enrolled in Ouran Acadamy for the Rich Prestegious and Pompous. I saw the school and don't get me wrong…it's beautiful, but you can tell that some of the rich kids will be bitches.

Anyway, after I enrolled myself in 2-A (yeah I took care of it…Mom's a little too busy setting up the banks) I ordered my uniform straight from the warehouse. Why? Cuz I'm short. I forgot to mention that…And I don't mean 'in your opinion' short…I mean SHORT. 4 feet 10 inches short to be exact. Understandably I get tired of having to tailor uniforms that are too long, so now I just call the warehouse, give them my measurements and FedEx it to myself. It finally came in the day before I was set to start school…

"Huh…well that's odd…" I commented as I pulled out my new uniform. I took a long look at the jacket before holding it up to myself. _Eh not bad…this uniform may actually FIT me…_It wasn't the blazer that I found unusual…it was the bottoms. I heard in Japan the girls had to wear skirts as a part of their uniform, hell I even had to wear one while I lived in New York, but what I found in the box were definitely pants. I checked the FedEx slip…_yea it says one girl uniform Ouran blah blah blah…huh…maybe they are REVOLUTIONIZING…_

Anyway, I gave it to my maid, Zakuro to press for tomorrow and went to bed. I remember thinking _I hope tomorrow doesn't suck _before falling asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Just for the record, I don't own this manga and I never will. Sadly.**

It sucked. It sucked beyond ALL IMAGINABLE THINGS! Let me explain.

My alarm clock woke me up at 5:30 sharp. That sucked. I changed brushed my hair…yadda yadda…ate then grabbed my car keys (I drive a black Ferrari) and said a rushed "BYE MOM," before heading out. I drove to the school and found the drive for valet parking. I guess valet parking isn't very popular cuz the guy gave me a weird look before taking my keys.

I saw why he was staring after walking through the gates of the school.

Fuck.

I felt like such an idiot…ALL THE GIRLS WERE WEARING THESE PUFFY PISS COLORED MARSHMALLOW DRESSES FROM HELL! Revolutionizing my ASS! THOSE FUCKERS SENT ME THE WRONG UNIFORM! Well, I freaked out on the inside, (Ohmigosh what will they think! I'm not a cross dresser!) but outwardly I was cool as a cucumber. I promptly ran to the nearest bathroom (yes a GIRLS bathroom) and shrugged off my blazer. As I thought there were extra uniforms out ready for 'young ladies who had the misfortune to mar theirs for the day' (the brochure said that).

Anyway…I scanned through the selections of sizes and realized there were NONE in an x-small or even a small! I was going to have to live with a boys uniform. Shit.

I pulled on my blazer again and, with a glance in the mirror decided to braid my long hair and stick it in my jacket. Then I ran the hell out after carefully checking that no one was coming. All I could think of was crAAAP my life SUUUCKS! Then I (gracefully) ran into a wall. "Ouch!" Not a real one, but it might has well have been a wall. I ran into a guy who looked like a giant. He looked down at me without saying a word and I realized he was pretty handsome too. "Um..s-sorry…" He nodded his head. I was about exit with as much dignity as my squished nose could offer when I felt something smack into me from behind.

"TAKASHIIIIIII!" _What the hell…?_ I spun around a little and stopped to face the big guy. The smallest looking boy I ever saw was hugging the giant like a teddy bear! I rubbed my shoulder a little wierded out by it all (and cuz my shoulder hurt too. I swear that guy was running as fast as a cheetah just to glomp another guy). The giant just stood there with the littler guy hanging off him like a monkey. (WTF?) Then…hell.

He noticed me. The little guy.

He jumped down from the giant and walked toward me. He was undeniably cute. He had blonde hair and wide brown eyes staring at me curiously and he was carrying a stuffed bunny. We were just about the same height too. He looked me over then smiled and said "Takashi! I found a friend my size!" He then hugged every ounce of air out of me. "GAK! Not…breathing…!" I was suddenly released by the small fry because the giant had decided to step in, grab me by my waist from behind, and sling me over his shoulder.

"Mitskuni," wow, his first word turned out to be the little guy's name. He looked up at the big guy (Takashi?) "Ok," he said, sounding sad. Then began hopping up and down. "Takashi! Can I ride on your other shoulder?" After a grunt in reply he shimmied up the guy as though he was a tree and was perched on his right shoulder. I was then transferred to a sitting position on the left shoulder.

"What class are you in…eh…nii-chan?" EH? _NII-CHAN? HE THINKS I'M A DUDE? _I remained calm enough to say "Erm…I'm Suzuki Kotone…class 2-A..."

"2-A TAKASHI! ON THE DOUBLE!" The big guy took off running like it was nothing that he had two teenagers perched on his shoulders. After not even twenty seconds we screeched to a halt outside of class 2-A. The giant put me down on the ground (sweet unmoving floor!) "Umm…thanks for the ride," I said bowing.

The little guy hopped off to hug me one last time. "It's fine. Oh and I'm Haninozuka Mitskuni but everyone calls me Hunny, and you can too! This here is Usa-chan! (He pointed at the bunny) And this is my cousin Morinozuka Takashi! (really?) We are from class 3-A at your service!" He bounced back to salute me. I stared in awe. _Third years? Wow._ I can't say I was surprised at the little guy's age, I mean, he was the same size as me!

"Koto-chan will you visit me this afternoon? At the Host Club? (Host Club? Wha…?) There's always plenty of cake and tea!" Ok he caught me. I'm a sucker for sweet things as much as I hate to admit it. "Um…ok, as long as I don't disturb you…" He hugged me. "YAAAAAAAAY KOTO-CHAN!" I couldn't help it, I hugged him back and laughed. He looked at me a bit surprised then laughed too. He let me go then hopped aboard Mori-senpai's shoulders. Then they took off running. "See you later!" I heard in the distance.

I sighed then turned to go into the class. Then I stopped. Hunny-senpai's rabbit was on the floor. I picked it up and cuddled it to my chest, deciding I would give it back to him when I saw him at the club.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: For the record, no I don't hate fangirls. I'm one too.**

I also found out that day that fan girls are annoying little bitches. I walked into the classroom holding Usa-chan when a sudden cry of 'AAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW' filled the air. I looked back to see if someone had come in and all the girls squealed. _Oh gosh it's the Fanabius Femmes aka fan girls_. They were all looking at me. Even the guys. I quickly walked (more like scuttled) toward an empty desk (near the window but close to the door) and sat down. The teacher came in soon after and the squealing ceased, (ahh my ears!) but the staring continued.

"Class today we have a new student. Please come forward and tell us about yourself." I stood up, leaving Usa-chan on the desk and walking to the front of the class. I bowed. "Hi. My name is Suzuki Kotone and I recently moved here from America." A girl's hand shot up. "Er…yea?"

"Are you single?"

"…Yea…" [cue squeals].

"What does your family do?"

"My father ran the line of Suzuki Banks in America. That job is now held by my mother after my father's death earlier this year. She also works as a model." [cue weeping].

"What is your favorite sport?"

"Sailing." Silence.

Then came the dreaded question. It came from a blond haired boy with violet eyes. "How tall are you?" Again there was silence. (Heh…maybe my eardrums will survive this year…)

"I'm 4' 10"" The boy did some quick calculations then stood up and pointed a finger toward me. "HE'S THE SAME HEIGHT AS HUNNY-SENPAI!" The girls let out a gargantuan squeal that would make any opera singer proud. The teacher's head shot up from where he was writing something down and he looked at me. I looked back at him as innocently as possible. He frowned and then said, "Suzuki-san please step outside the classroom with me?"

I blushed a little, then quickly went outside the classroom. As much as I hate to admit it, I am good at looking cute/innocent…and I can use it to my advantage. So just before I stepped out of the classroom I winked at the girls. They all swooned and the guy who asked my height looked like he fainted. The teacher closed the door behind me and looked at me.

I did my thing. I widened my eyes a little, bowed my head and clasped my hands behind my back. "Suzuki-san, this may be just a small mistake, but your transfer status reads that you are a girl."

I looked up at him. "I'm sorry to be so deceiving sensei, I am a girl…when I special ordered my school uniform, I specifically told them I wanted a girls uniform. They sent me this uniform with the proof of purchase slip dictating that this was a girl's uniform. It only came in yesterday."

The man rubbed his forehead warily. "I see…but were you not sent a catalogue or order form with a description?"

"No sir…when I enrolled I merely asked for the name of the uniform company so I could place my order directly. You see, because of my stature I have had to special order all of my uniforms, and getting them from the manufacturer directly is easier." (And cheaper I thought.) "As soon as I came in this morning I tried to find a replacement uniform but all of them were too big!"

"I see…well, I'd hardly find it useful to send you home and seeing as you do not have any clothes, I will allow you to wear this uniform until the end of today. However, until your new uniform comes in you will be required to wear a white dress blouse, navy necktie, white socks, and navy blue skirt am I clear?"

"Yes sir…thank you sensei."

"I now would appreciate it if you apologized to the and reintroduce yourself." Crap. Well it had to happen sometime…

I walked back into the class and bowed again. "I'm sorry everyone, for deceiving you." I pulled out my hair from my jacket and gave them a short version of my story I gave to my teacher. Again the girls teared up at my 'unfortunate circumstance and sad situation'. Most of the girls were sympathetic and forgave my ruse. The guys…were more than sympathetic and forgiving…I must have gained half of the boy's appreciation and love in five minutes. (Now I have fanboys. WONDERFUL!) Plus, when I sat down to rebraid my hair, all the boys watched as I let my hair loose then braided it neatly. There was one boy with black hair and glasses who was writing something down furiously.

The day went by pretty uneventfully. Finally, classes were over and I decided to go to the Host Club…wherever that was…I tapped the shoulder of the blond hair boy as he was leaving. He looked back, then down (at me). "Erm…could you tell me where the Host Club meets?" I unconsciously squeezed Usa-chan.

Again hell broke loose.

"My darling princess of course I will lead you to the beautiful world of the Host Club! I have a friend who would be so very pleased to make your acquaintance." Who the hell WAS this guy? He was like Prince Charming only much more corny but with MUCH better hair.

"Uh…thank you…"

"Suoh Tamaki at your service milady." He reached for my hand (to kiss it I think) and I briefly shook it. He babbled the entire way to the Host Club. I'm sorry to say I kinda tuned him out, but I was too busy admiring the school to pay attention to some rich guy…The place was amazing! It was so huge and very nicely decorated and I WANTED THAT CHANDELIER! (C'mon it was THAT cool looking.) We finally reached Music room 3 and he opened the door for me.

I stepped into a beautiful room with 6 hot guys in it. I didn't get much of a chance to look at them when I was tackled unexpectedly. "KOTO-CHAAAAAAAAAN!" I think he miscalculated my size and weight because his tackle caused me to fall. He ended up hugging me on the ground…a little awkward. I blushed a little but said "Hi Honey-senpai…can you get off of me please?"

He stopped hugging me and looked down. Crap. My face blushed more when he realized he was literally on top of me. He stood up and helped me to my feet. The Host Club (except Mori) was staring at me like I was crazy. Honey pulled me toward the Club and introduced me. The blond guy I knew and I wasn't surprised to find out that he was president and a 'prince' type. The guy with glasses who was writing earlier was Ootori Kyoya, VP 'cool' type, and the rest were from class 1-A, twins Hitachiin Hikaru and Kaoru, (mischievous) and Fujioka Haruhi (natural). Mori was the silent type.

"So what type are you?" He gave me a big smile. "I'm the cute type!" I smiled back, then his smile disappeared. "But I won't be Hosting today…I lost Usa-chan." He then burst into tears and hugged me again. (Not so hard this time thank GOD.) Jeez it must be that we were so close in height cuz I was tearing up too. "Don't cry Hunny-senpai! I have something for you!" He looked at me and I gave him Usa-chan. His eyes dried immediately and a huge grin spread across his face. As expected he hugged me…tightly.

"Thank you Koto-chan! Usa-chan looked cute with you though…but it would have looked cuter if you wore a skirt…" Everyone froze…even the twins turned to look at me. In a flash they were one on each side.

"Does this mean," one twin started (Hikaru I think…?)

"That this second year student…" (Kaoru? Oh hell I dunno which it was…)

"Is actually…"

"…A CROSS DRESSING MIDGET GIRL?" They shouted in unison. _OHMIGOSH THEY DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!_ I tried to outwardly remain calm, then Kyoya (bastard) said, "It appears that she was sent a wrong uniform…" Then the twins began to laugh.

I don't think they realized at the time how little patience I had now. I've dealt with plenty of short jokes or Mexican jokes, but cross dresser? Seriously? Plus, I don't get mad, I get pissed. Which is worse. Had they known this before they wouldn't have done 'it'.

'It' was when they put their elbows on top of my head and leaned on me. Mori and Hunny were wise, they took immediate cover behind the couch but the rest were vulnerable. I really didn't want to get angry, but then… "So whose taller? A munchkin or you?"

I blew it. I took a quick step forward, knocking the twins off balance thus they fell to the floor in a heap. (By the way, despite being short, I could kick your ass…I forgot to mention that.) They looked up to find me standing over them…pissed to no end.

"WHAT THE HELL? I'M NOT A MIDGET YOU ASSHOLES! AND DON'T YOU EVER LEAN ON ME AGAIN OR I WILL PERSONALLY MAKE SURE THAT NEITHER OF YOU CAN REPRODUCE. GOT IT?"

All they could do was nod their heads vigorously. Tamaki recovered first and rushed toward me and grabbed me by my shoulders. "LADIES SHOULDN'T USE SUCH FOUL LANGUAGE!"

I blinked…he quivered a little, I think he thought I was going to yell at him too. "Uh…ok…I only talk that way when I'm mad…sorry…" I then grinned evilly at the twins and they both turned whiter than ghosts.

Hunny then bounced over to me. "Will you stay for the Host Club pleeeeeeeease?" Who could say no? He was practically shining with anticipation. I smiled. "Sure Hunny-senpai, I'll stay."

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Koto-chan is staying! Will you eat some cake with me?" I practically drooled at the mention of cake. He looked at me funny (I suppose my face did have a weird look on it, a dazedly happy look.) "What kind do you have?" I think I saw Kyoya's glasses flash and I'm almost positive his pencil cracked in frustration. I couldn't bring myself to feel sorry for him, my stomach was rumbling.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my sis who I just dropped off at college. Good luck! Love you! And miss you.**

Ok, two things, 1) Hunny-senpai makes a great cake-eating partner, because no matter how much cake you eat (I only had one slice! Don't assume!) he can always eat more. 2) Fangirls are even bitchier when you throw in incredibly hot men who only want to please them. All of Hunny's customers were giving me either the evil eye, or were checking me out (wtf?) because I was so short, and cuz I was with Hunny. I didn't speak the entire time I ate my (delicious) chocolate cheesecake.

After I finished my cake, I stood up. Haruhi came over to take my plate and cup. Poor guy never seems to get any help from anyone. "No, it's ok Haruhi, I got it." He looked at me funny. "You have customers right? I'll take care of the dishes and serving tea if you want." He blinked at me once, then Tamaki came over in full prince mode.

"My darling princess, you need not worry about our fine china, our dearest Haruhi is perfectly capable of handling…"

"Actually, that would be a great help, thank you Kotone-senpai" he said. Tamaki froze, then sulked off to his emo corner.

I shrugged." It's nothing, and call me Kotone, Kotone-senpai makes me feel old."

Fangirls immediately engulfed us.

"She's older than you?" _Damn strait bitch._

"But she's so small…" _I'M IN INCH TALLER THAN HUNNY-SENPAI!_

[Batting eyelashes at Haruhi] "You can call me just Yui!" _I can call you bitch?_

"Me too!" _Ok, bitch 1, bitch 2. What funny names…_

Then, the famous fangirl "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! HAAAAARUUUHIIII!"

"Haruhi, why don't you show me where you keep all the cleaning supplies," I dragged him with me to a door at the far end of the room (farthest away from the FANGIRLS). I pulled him inside.

"Phew, close one."

"Yea, thanks."

"So what is this room?" I looked around. It was nicely lit with racks of clothes and curtains closing off a space beyond.

"It's the changing room."

"You have a changing room? For what?"

"Days where we have themed dress ups. Tomorrow we're going to dress up as sailors and pirates."

"…Wow. So where do you keep the cleaning stuff?"

"You seriously want to help?" He stared at me like I was insane. I guess it's kind of unusual; a rich girl wanting to do chores, but I'm used to it. We only have maids for cleaning the public rooms and for cooking. Cleaning my own room is up to me, and I help the cook anyway.

"Sure, I've got nothing better to do, and its kinda cool here." He smiled. He had a very sweet and genuine smile.

"Thanks, this will be a huge help. The cleaning supplies is on the closet on the left of here, the kitchen is the door nearest to where Hunny-senpai sits." _Haha, irony._ We stepped out of the closet and I took my dishes over to the kitchen and washed them. Just as I was about to put them away, Mori-senpai came in with a dirty cake plate. He blinked, looking at me sort of confused. "I'm doing the dishes," I said, taking the plate from him. He nodded, and helped me put away the plates I couldn't reach.

"Did you need something Mori-senpai?"

"Cake." _I should have guessed…_

"Ah…what kind?" I would have gotten it for him, but he obviously knew the kitchen better than me, because he went over to the highest cupboard, closest to the door and got down a strawberry cake. He cut a slice and handed it to me. I was confused.

"Mitskuni's cake. He wanted you to bring it to him." (Mori word count: 11, damn they weren't kidding when they said he was silent.) I took the plate and left the kitchen a little mystified. I approached the table and Hunny noticed me. He smiled cutely and bounded over.

"Koto-chan! Is that cake for me?" The fangirls looked at me in distaste. They were SO OBVIOUSLY JELOUS. Oh well. I ignored them. I was in a good mood though, so I decided I would go with his 'cute theme'. I put on an adorable smile and said:

"Yup Hunny-senpai! This cake is all for you!" I held it out to him. The fangirls looked surprised. I had gone from as silent as Mori to as loli as Hunny.

"YAY! Thanks Koto-chan!" He gently took it from me and sat it on the table, then bounced back to me (yea, like a rabbit).

"You're welcome Hunny!" _Oh God I sound like an anime character._ "Is there anything else you want?" I cocked my head to the side and made my eyes go big.

He gave me a huge smile and shook his head yes. Then the fangirls let out a gargantuan squeal and all eyes of each Host and customer were on me. Most had a confused or curious look on their face, but Kyoya was the only one (besides Mori) who had virtually no reaction.

Hunny continued talking like nothing was wrong. "Koto-chan, will you get me some tea? Oo why don't you get some tea too, and we'll share tea!" The fangirls apparently found this unbearably cute because they screamed "SOOOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!" I played along again.

"Erm, Hunny-senpai, I don't really like tea too much…" (I really don't.) The fangirls gaped at me in awe. Hunny hugged Usa-chan and gave me a confused look. "But you drank it earlier…"

"I know, and one cup is fine, but I actually prefer hot chocolate."

His eyes grew wide at the thought of a drink induced sugar rush. "Really? Is it good?"

"You've never had it?"

"Nope."

"Then I'll go make you some! Do you want a cup Mori-senpai?"

"No thank you." (FOURTEEN WORDS!)

I sprinted back to the kitchen and hurriedly made the delicious drink. (The good kind, not the kind that comes in a package.) At the last second I put some whipped cream on top of both and brought them out on a tray. Hunny jumped up when he saw me and I handed him his cup. As anticipated, he loved it and the fangirls thought I was GENIUS and asked for cups too. By the end of the meeting I was kinda tired.

After all the guests left, I was about to sit down on a couch when Mori picked me up, ran full speed and placed me on my feet next to Kyoya. I'd heard of him before, my dad used to know his father and told me all about him before he died. He was right, he was cold and calculating. This guy acted like a strict business man, so I can't say I trusted him. I glanced at him, but he was staring straight ahead, so I followed his example and stared at the wall. Fascinating.

"That was quite an act you put on. The customers seemed to like it. It makes an interesting pair, two Lolita types. You said you were interested in helping out?"

"What do you want Kyoya?"

"I want you to take over Haruhi's job of serving tea and cake and some minor cleaning."

"I already offered to do that."

"I also want you to be a…how shall we call it 'special friend' to Hunny-senpai." _In other words, you want me to be his bitch._

I glanced over at the Hitachiin brothers doing their 'brotherly love act'. (I don't mind it. Hunny explained it to me before the club started. It's a little weird, but only cuz their twins, I'm not a homophobe.) "You mean accessory. You want me to sort of start another act with Hunny-senpai and be his cute companion?"

"Yes. Indeed you are smart as you are beautiful my dear."

"Flattery gets you nowhere. I'll do it, but only because I'm interested in this club and how it functions."

"Wise decision Kotone."

"As if I had any other option. What time shall I come here tomorrow?"

He gave me a time and then asked me (told me rather, I doubt he ever used question marks in his conversation unless he was threatening someone) to come early.

Then he called the rest of the Club over. "Just so you know Suzuki Kotone will be our new member. She has volunteered her skills to take over Haruhi's job of serving tea and cleaning. She will also be starting a 'Lolita' act with Hunny-senpai at his request." All the Hosts (plus me) looked surprised. _Hunny REQUESTED THIS?_

"So…" the twins came over to me, one on each side.

"Let's see…"

"If our new _Hostess_…"

"Is more tolerant then Haruhi!" Then put their elbows on my shoulders. I glanced at her. "You had to put up with this too?"

"Actually no. Hikaru, Kaoru, stop bugging Kotone."

They blinked. "You called her Kotone!"

"Could it be…"

"The new Hostess…"

"Has a crush on Haruhi?" Tamaki for some reason found this heartbreaking and proceeded to cry in a corner.

"NO! No offense Haruhi, but you're not my type."

The twins leaned closer to me. "So what is your type…_Kotone?_" Damnit.

I couldn't help it. I shook their elbows off me. "WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM DO YOU REALLY LIKE TORMENTING ME? SORRY BUT I DON'T HAVE A _THING_ FOR ANYONE IN THE HOST CLUB. AND I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T CALL ME BY MY FIRST NAME ONLY!"

"But you let Haruhi…"

"That's cuz Haruhi is not annoying." I straightened my tie and bowed toward Kyoya and Tamaki (still in his corner). "Thank you for allowing me to stay today. I'd love to find out more about the Host Club, but I really should get home."

Tamaki was back. "It was our pleasure princess. Please return to your humble abode safely and I hope your dreams are pleasantly filled with thoughts of me." _Of him? God what a stalker. This guy's ego is probably the size of a blimp*._

"Ah…sure…"

"Wait, Kotone." _WHAT KYOYA?_ "Since you are now a part of the club, we will need your measurements for future costumes, since you are so petite (THANK GOD SOMEONE WHO HAS IT RIGHT!) we will need to custom make all of your outfits." Tamaki snapped his fingers.

"Twins? You know what to do." Oh shit.

They saluted. "Yes sir!" They dragged me over to the changing room and handed me a swim suit. WTF? "Put it on so we can measure you!" The rest of the club had assembled in the changing room by now, as though this was a normal occurrence.

I refused. "I'll measure myself behind the curtain and tell you ok? I'm not going out in a swimsuit." The twin looked sad, but I went behind the curtain and measured myself anyway. When I came back out, they shoved a long floorlength dress in my face. "Put it on."

I did, when I came out they attacked me with pins and ordered me back into the changing room. FINALLY, I was allowed to leave. The valet brought my car to the front and the Host Club (who followed me out…this was getting ridiculous) watched him bring my Ferrari to the front. He tossed me the keys.

"Wasn't that your driver Koto-chan? Why is that guy leaving?"

"No, He isn't my driver Hunny-senpai. That's the school's valet. I drove here myself." I got in, ignoring the dumbfounded looks. "See you tomorrow." I drove off finally glad my hectic day

was over.

***I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! the Abridged Series.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry this took so long, I got really busy, but I hope this chapter was worth the wait.**

I came home and there was a package for me on my desk. My uniform. My puffy piss colored marshmallow from hell uniform. Inside the box was a heartfelt apology from the director of manufacturing for sending me the wrong uniform and he said he would let me keep the boys uniform for free and I wouldn't be charged for shipping or for the new uniform. _Sweet. I have my Halloween costume now._

I did my homework in my room. It's actually a suite I guess. Mom made sure that that we each had our own bathrooms too, mostly because she has too much modeling related products on her sink for me to even maneuver a toothbrush. She wasn't home yet. I didn't expect her to be. She told me when we moved here that her mornings she would be handling banking and her afternoons would be modeling. She was busy, but it kept her mind off my dad.

After I'd finished my homework, I decided I needed to relieve some stress (can you blame me?), so what better way then to dance it out. I dressed in a tank top, arm warmers (hey my arms get cold easily, and these things are awesome), short shorts and jazz shoes and went to the dance studio. It was already my favorite place in the house. It was largish, one wall was covered in a mirror, there was a ballet bar and a huge stereo. I plugged in my iPod and blasted it. 'Rakata' came on. I have a diverse iPod, everything is on there, classical, latin, pop, rap, reggaton, even j-pop. Everything was danceable or singable.

As I began to dance I thought about today. _Damn I really had no idea that it was a guy's uniform. How could I be so stupid? Hunny didn't seem to mind though. Hunny is soo cute I just want to hug him. Hell I want to hug Mori too! He's really tall. I wonder, he's like 6' 2" or so right? Hunny is around my height, heh who would've thunk it that I find a person shorter than me. He's even older too. Haha. He must be 18 or so, wow and he still carries a bunny. What's with that bunny? It's so cute, like Hunny, what if Hunny was a bunny? He would be so cute with those ears. If he was a bunny, then I wonder if he would like carrot cake better than strawberry. He sure eats a lot of cake, hey I wonder what's for dinner I'm kind of thinking…_The music stopped, interrupting my (random) train of thought. The maid was at the door with…

"Hunny-senpai!" _Shit. Way to go Kotone! Refuse to wear a swim suit in front of the Host Club and wear this at home. He must think I'm a closet slut._ He was staring at me curiously. I was staring back. He was dressed in dark wash jeans with a t-shirt of Usa-chan beneath a black blazer and he wore black boots. The real Usa-chan was tucked beneath his arm. _Damn, for a guy with such a sweet personality, he looks badass._

"Haninozuka Mitskuni is here to see you ma'am," Zakuro said.

"Er…hi….can you show Hunny-senpai to the living room while I change?" _Into something a normal person would wear…_

"You don't need to change Koto-chan, I'm here to deliver a package!" A package? For the first time, I noticed he was indeed carrying a box, largish it kind of looked like a clothes box. "Hika-chan and Kao-chan told me you have to try on what's inside the box to see if it fits." _Great, so I do have to change._ "Can we go up to your room Koto-chan so you can try it on?"

"Um, sure why not." He followed me up to my room and looked in awe at it. It's a large, western-style room with purple, green, and blue designs on it. The 'sitting room' can be closed off from my bed with sliding doors, and there is my desk and plenty of bookshelves and my lap harp in my room. "Wow Koto-chan! This is a really cool room!"

"Er, thanks Hunny-senpai, but I'm kind of wondering, er…why did the twins send you? I mean no offense or anything, but…"

"Because I live next door to you."

"Huh?"

"Yup. In the Japanese style mansion. Takashi lives in the mansion further down."

Oh. Well…I guess this serves as a neighbor meet and greet too. He handed me the box and I opened it and inside was;

"Another boy's uniform?"

"No Koto-chan! That's a 'custom made blazer and a matching skirt in the style of an Ouran Acadamy School boys uniform'! That's what Hika-chan said. Kyo-chan said it would be more cute to wear during the club than the girl's uniforms. Plus we would be able to see you better!"_ See me better? Then why not invest in a pair of stilts, I hear they're cheaper…_

Hey I'm not going to lie. THAT'S COOL! Kyoya maybe you aren't the devil. This outfit is a bazillion times better than the marshmallow from hell uniform. Plus it was more comfortable. I excused myself for a quick shower, then tried on the uniform. It fit like a glove. I even had white knee high socks to go with my outfit. I looked in the mirror. _Yup. Just like an anime character. Except I don't sparkle…oh wait that's Twilight. My bad._

I came out. Hunny had been reading one of my books when he looked at me. He smiled. "You look so cute Koto-chan!"

"Thanks Hunny-senpai." He walked toward me with a curious look and a tape measure. "Er…what's the tape measure for?"

"Kyo-chan wanted me to measure the skirt. He doesn't want it to be too short." He measured each leg from the floor to my skirt, my knee to my skirt, "Hunny-senpai? Er…I don't mean to be rude, but why are you measuring my feet?"

"Oh, sorry Koto-chan. Guess I got carried away. The skirt is okay, you can change now."

I quickly threw on a white t-shirt with purple and black butterfly designs, black arm warmers, jeans, and a pair of converse. As I came out, Hunny thought this would be a great time to give me the 'welcome hug', which turned out to be a glomp, which is how I ended up on the floor, with him hugging me. "You look even cuter now Koto-chan, I like your t-shirt."

"Hunny!...Not breathing…"

Then the maid came in. Oh joy of joys. "Kotone-sama your dinner is…" She stared in shock. I think she was more surprised that I was getting the life sucked outta me by a boy who looked twelve then seeing a boy directly ON TOP of me.

Hunny immediately got of me and I could see a trace of a blush on his cheeks. "Um, Hunny-senpai, have you eaten yet? Would you like to stay for dinner?"

I don't think he heard me, he seemed intently interested in his (nonexistent) shoelaces. The maid, Ami, came up next to me, I was friends with all the household staff, so we often talked like friends rather than boss/employee. "Is he seriously older than you? He looks like he's 12!"

"Well so do I, so this isn't really much of a surprise."

"Oh. Well, what does he like? Can Ichiru (our chef) make anything in particular for dessert?"

"Cake. He is a cake fiend."

"Like you?"

"Multiply me by 20."

Her eyes got big. "Well, in that case I'll go tell him NOW." She ran off down to the kitchen to tell Ichiru so he could start on a cake. Hunny-senpai caught up with me. "What was that about?"

"Cake." _Damnit shouldn't have said that…_

"Reeeeeeally?" His eyes got deer-cought-in-headlights-uuber-cute-chibi big.

"Yea, so about you staying for dinner…?"

"Is there cake?"

"There won't be any after YOU eat it."

"So there's cake?"

"Just let me have a piece ok?"

"So there IS cake!"

"I wonder what flavor?" I gave him a mischievous look, to show him that I was just teasing him. He smiled and spun me around in a hug screaming something like "CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!" and "KOOOOTOOOOO-CHAAAAAAN!"

"You're welcome Hunny-senpai," I said when he let go. We headed to the dining hall together. It's a fairly large room which connects to the ballroom we have. The ballroom was mother's idea, she says it's 'classy', I just think it would make a great indoor roller hockey rink. (JUST KIDDING!) When we lived in New York she would host huge parties for designers, models, and other important people, I guess she still wants to uphold her tradition. Anyway, the dining room was large decorated in burgundy with a large mahogany table and a large fireplace made from pink marble. It's a beautiful room, but right now, all I could focus on was the food. The cook had made enchiladas, always a favorite, with rice, beans, and a salad. (My definition of a salad: lettuce, carrots, and LOTS of cucumbers. Hunny got a normal salad with healthy stuff like onions and tomatoes.)

We sat down to eat. Hunny looked like he was drooling. I smiled. "I'm guessing you like foreign foods Hunny-senpai?" He nodded vigorously as he dished up a plate of FIVE enchiladas and TWO helpings of beans. (Wow.) I was hungry too, so there wasn't much conversation as we both inhaled the food. After our plates were taken away, Ami brought in the cake. I smiled and looked at Hunny, and was surprised to find he was not in his chair. Then the air was knocked out of me.

"THANK YOU KOTO-CHAN! CAN WE EAT IT NOW?" _Sure, if I can breathe first, I hear air is essential to life, ah well, cake comes in a close second._

Ami chuckled and placed the cake the table. It was a chocolate cake with strawberries placed on the top and it looked _good_. It was gone in under 5 minutes. Yum. After the cake, I thought Hunny would leave, but instead, he surprised me when he walked next to my chair and flashed his biiiiiig brown eyes at me.

I blinked. "…Yes…?"

"I saw you dancing earlier." Shit. "Do you dance ballet?" What?

"Er…yea, why do you ask?" His face spit into a huge grin.

"I love ballet Koto-chan! Only Takashi knows this, but I love watching ballet performances!" Oh. I saw where this was going…

"Would you like to watch me dance?" His grin got wider and he nodded. I smiled and got up. I went back to my room and changed into some dance tights, a leotard, some shorts, and I got my toe shoes. Hunny was waiting for me in the dance studio. He gave me an evil grin, then handed me a CD. "Will you dance to this for me?" The CD was unmarked. Damnit I hate it when I do that. "Sure, just let me warm up first."

I stretched, and listened to Hunny as he babbled on about how cool dancing was, and how much he liked it. But as I popped in the CD, he grew silent. It was the Dance of the Sugar Plum fairy. I hadn't danced the song in months, but I gave it a try. It turned out rather well, I remembered all the choreography, and I only stumbled on one turn. When I landed in my final pose though, I glanced at Hunny. He was staring at me in awe. Then he broke into applause. I smiled and bowed. When his applause ended, he said:

"You're so beautiful Koto-chan." I blushed. I never got called beautiful. My mom as a model got called that all the time; I was always cute, pretty, or adorable. This was new…

Hunny's ringtone brought me out of my reverie. He answered his phone, "Hi Takashi! What's up?" He listened for a moment and his face fell a little "Ok Takashi, yeah…bye."

He looked at me with a sheepish smile. "I have to go home now Koto-chan, but bring your uniform tomorrow ok?" With that, he mini glomped me and ran out the door.

"Well that was…odd…"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I don't own One Piece, LittleKuriboh, Naruto the Abridged Parody Fans Spoof, or Ferraris.**

I arrived at school the next day in my proper attire and feeling like a fucking prep. I drove up to the valet parking and (to vent a little) difted up to the valet hard and fast. He was a young guy, couldn't be older than 20 or so and like everything else in the school, he looked groomed to perfection. He didn't flinch at my (yea I'll admit it) reckless driving, actually he looked mildly impressed. I got out and tossed him the keys.

"Nice drift, nice car."

"Thanks…?"

"Sado, but I prefer Chad."

"Sweet name. I'm Kotone. Call me Koto."

He smiled. "I see you got the right uniform this time."

"Why didn't you tell me about these uniforms of hell?"

"If I had, you would have ignored me anyway, am I right?"

I smiled. Hell with the formalities, he seemed like he wasn't actually brain dead like half of the student population. "You're a cocky valet. That's cool. Take care of my ride."

He saluted me with a smirk. "Please, it would be a sin to put a scratch on this baby."

I saluted him back and walked though the gates to the school. I only walked about 20 or so feet when a UFO (Usa-chan-carrying Flying Object) collided with the side of my body.

"KOTO-CHAN IS HEEEEEEEREEEEEEEE!"

"Hi Hunny-senpai," I choked out. Mori picked us both up and put us on his shoulders, one on each.

"Umm…hi Mori-senpai, uh…you don't have to carry me…" This was weird…it wasn't awkward because he held me only around my knees, but he was carrying me AND Hunny! This guy is like Superman, only he didn't have that little curl…

"I'm fine." I blinked. WOW HE SPOKE! And without another word, he took off to my class room. My day was relatively boring, notes, schoolwork, the normal stuff. When I stepped out of class, Mori and Hunny kidnapped me and headed straight for Music Room 3. He set us both down in front of a sparkling Tamaki.

"Ah Kotone! You are finally here!" Then he snapped his fingers. I would learn to DETEST that gesture, because the twins attacked me and dragged me to the dressing room and told me to put on my pirate's costume. I did, and they pinned me and made adjustments in under 22 seconds and thrust me back into the changing room. I dizzily put it on again and got a good look of what I was wearing. I had a loose white blouse that was covered by a tight-fitting leather corset. I wore a long red skirt and soft black suede boots. I had a bandana too, which was black with skulls.

I came out and felt like I stepped into an episode of One Piece! Tamaki was wearing a straw hat, red vest, black pants, and black boots. Kyoya wore a white shirt and white and black striped pants with black boots and a red bandana. Ironically, he wore an eye patch beneath his glasses. Haruhi had on a white shirt with white pants and brown leather shoes with a brown belt (haha, she looked like she could climb a mast). The twins had on white shirts with navy pants and black boots. One had a green bandana with yellow spots and the other had a yellow bandana with green spots. Mori looked straight up bad ass. He didn't wear a shirt at all, but had a red bandana and two swords crisscrossed on his back. He carried two pistols in his belt (nice equipment…kidding!) and a dagger clenched in his teeth. He wore black pants and black boots. He also had a gold earring. I then looked at Hunny.

Oh. My. GOSH!

He was CAPTAIN! He wore a open loose white shirt with a Captain's jacket over that. He wore white breeches and stockings with black shoes. He wore a red sash around his waist and a captains hat. He was so CUTE!

He bounced over to me and shouted "MY LADY IS READY!" I blushed, his Lady? "Um…Hunny-senpai, I'm a bar wench…"

He grinned cutely and said nothing. Tamaki took this opportunity to strike an epic pose and shout, "C'mon men! And lady (here he winked at me). It is time to entertain our beautiful princesses! Remember, our goal today is to commandeer all of these maidens hearts!"

The twins saluted Tamaki, "Aye aye , milord!" I smacked my forehead in frustration and hit my eye…_oww. Right in my One Piece…_

We arranged ourselves in an opening pose, and despite my best efforts, all I could think of was the opening theme…you know the one, _yayo yayo dreamin' don't give it up Naruto dreamin, don't give it up Sasuke dreamin'…_

The rest of the time at club, I was perfectly cheery and cute. I was the sweet bartender who served iced tea in beer pitchers. Hunny liked my costume a lot and he kept having to call me over since he had the most customers that day. (Well, it was because he was Captain…he had a small harem of ladies around him the entire time.) At one point, it actually got a bit rowdy, CONVENIENTLY when Mori went to grab some more cake…bitches…

"So, Captain Hunny, is Usa-chan your assistant?" _Assistant? IT'S FIRST MATE! Or second-in-command._

"You bet he is! He even has his own official pirates hat!" The girls squealed.

"Can I touch it?" _No._

"Oh I want it!" _Sorry, it won't fit over your ego._

"Hunny looks adorable!" Then there was the question which silenced all the rest.

"So whose your mistress Hunny-senpai?" It got deathly quiet…even the twins stopped molesting each other long enough to watch. All of a sudden, there was the deathly sound of fangirls brawling. The crowd moved toward Hunny, I instinctively pushed my way to Hunny and stood in front of him.

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!" The girls stopped, all glancing at me. _Oh shit, they're gonna fry me…_Then, I was saved.

Hunny hugged me from behind and squealed "KOTO-CHAN'S MY LADY!" Surprisingly, all the girls eyes glassed over, and they let out a collective fangirl squeal that would deafen Beethoven AGAIN.

"Soooo cute!"

"They are just the right size!" I glanced at Kyoya. I could have sworn his pencil was giving off smoke from the rate he was writing. He glanced up at me, and gave a hand movement which meant 'go with it'. I sighed.

I spun around and hugged Hunny, shouting, "I SEARVE MY CAPTAIN!" Cell phones were whipped out and taking pictures in record time.

Hunny and I giggled like chibi idiots for a couple seconds, then he surprised me by scooping me up bridal style. I was so surprised I accidently grabbed for him…and ended up feeling up his chest. I kept smiling though and inconspicuously shifted my hand to around his neck. (But I turned redder than a tomato. Ugh that was awkward.) Hunny then announced that I, his mistress would sit to his right hand for the rest of the day. THEN Mori decided to reappear with the cake.

By the end of the day, I was exhausted. I finished cleaning the room and changed back into my uniform to find the twins waiting for me.

"So, Kotone-senpai, did you enjoy today," they asked simultaneously.

"Not really," I wanted them to leave…

"Oh come on, you sound like Haruhi!" Haruhi looked up from his book.

"That's cuz Haruhi is a smart person." I waved to him, and he returned to his book after waving back.

"Well there must be something you liked!"

"Well…I did like the costumes. They looked awesome."

They smirked evilly. Crap. They draped their arms onto my head. "I think you liked Hunny-senpai's best…" said Kaoru.

"Or did you like his chest better?" Hikaru said.

That's it. I elbowed them both in the stomach, "WOULD YOU TWO NOCK IT OFF?" Both of them clutched their stomachs, but they were laughing. I rolled my eyes and began to leave, when Hunny and Mori came out of the guys dressing room. I stepped forward.

"Hunny-senpai, may I speak with you?" Mori let him down off his shoulders. Hunny grabbed my hand and bounced out of the door. "Why did you want to talk to me Koto-chan?"

"Er…Hunny-senpai, um…I just wanted to say sorry…"

"For what?" He blinked his huge eyes and cuddled Usa-chan.

"For uh…touching your chest…it was an accident, I swear, I'm really sorry."

He smiled at me. "Oh it's ok, Koto-chan! I bet I scared you when I picked you up today didn't I?"

I smiled. "Yea, yea you did." Mori came out to check on us.

"I gotta go home now Koto-chan, I'll see you tomorrow ok?" He hugged me and climbed onto Mori. I headed for the valet parking where Chad drove up in my Ferrari. He tossed me the keys, smiling.

"This is one badass car, what make is it?" His cocky grin disappeared as he realized what he said. "Ma'am, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to soil your ears with such coarse language."

I started the engine. "Ferrari 612, and yeah, it's the shit."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I just realized that I dress a whole lot like Kotone…including the thigh high socks.**

The next day was Saturday, thank everything that is good, legal, and non-Host Club related. This meant that I only had to survive one more day of school crap, then I get to dance all day tomorrow!

At the club, I quickly changed into my new uniform. (You know, the boy jacket, white shirt, and a neckerchief. The mini skirt too.) I decided to wear some thigh high white socks with some cute black flats. (I considered converse, but I have a feeling Kyoya might kill me with a stare. That and Tamaki would have cried.)

I came out of the dressing room feeling more self-conscious than yesterday. I peeked out behind the curtain first, no one was there. I tip-toed out…

"OHMIGOSH KOTONE YOU LOOK FABULOUS!"

"!" I'm a screamer. Sorry. Tamaki decided to hide outside the changing room and ambush me with a camera. As imaginable I jumped about half a foot in the air and latched onto the nearest thing I could…which was poor Haruhi.

Poor, poor, Haruhi. She's of a height where…well she's petite, but taller than me…and, ok I accidently glomped her (AS IN A HUG LIKE A KOALA) and felt all I needed to know. I let go and promptly fell on my butt.

"OHMIGOSH HARUHI! I'M SO SORRY!"

She blinked at me. "It's ok, it was just an accident, but at least you know."

"But why…?"

"To pay back the 8 million yen I owe them, you know, the debt the customers always talk about."

"Damn, and you're doing that by dressing as a guy?"

I was snatched up by the twins in an instant. Tamaki turned into a demon lord before my eyes and Kyoya's eyes disappeared behind the glare of his glasses. "HOW DO YOU KNOW OF HARUHI'S SECRET?"

"Well, I would have figured it out eventually…"

"How did you find out," Kyoya said from behind his notepad.

"I…er (here Mori covered Hunny's ears…where did they come from?) accidently felt her chest…"

The twins scoffed while holding me. "What chest?" Haruhi grew red in either embarrassment or shame. No matter, I took care of them for her. Both received a GENTLE bop on the head.

"WHAT THE HELL YOU GUYS? THAT WAS FUCKING RUDE AND UNCALLED FOR! SHE DOES TOO HAVE BREASTS, AND YOU BASTARDS DON'T HAVE TO GO AROUND BERATING HER WITH YOUR ANNOYING ANTICS AND SHIT! JEEZ!"

Oops…I accidently snapped…EVERYONE was staring at me. Tamaki looked like he died. Hunny was trying to pry Mori's hands away from his ears. Mori himself hadn't moved and his facial expression was the same as well. MAYBE his eyebrow twitched. The twins were on the ground dumbstruck, and Kyoya actually looked surprised. Haruhi looked surprised, then looked she would burst out laughing. Then Tamaki's water broke.

As in the tidal waves caused by his tear ducts. And they came in floods. "MOOOOOOMMYYYYY!" He ran to Kyoya, and clamped himself onto his arm. (WTF?) "MY DAUGHTER IS BEING MEAN TO HER BROTHERS AND SHE'S SAYING NASTY WORDS!"

My conscience kicked in. I ran over to the twins. "OHMIGOSH I'M SO SORRY I TOTALLY DIDN'T MEAN TO PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" The twins stared at me like I was an alien. Then Kyoya spoke again.

"Kotone, now that you know of Haruhi's situation, we must ask you to keep her gender a secret, otherwise she will be forced to pay her debt back in another way…" I didn't want to think of how long that would take poor Haruhi, her being a scholarship student and all…

I stood from my position, put my hand over my heart and said, "I swear to you, Host Club, that I shall keep Haruhi's secret as a girl. Do you want me to sign anything, or is that official enough?"

The twins waved their hands. "No, that's good." I turned to Haruhi. "How 'bout you?"

"Well, I don't really care if you recognize me as a boy or a girl, it's more important what's on the inside anyway, right?" I smiled. "Yeah, it sure is."

We set about club activities for that day. I guess you could call that day 'normal', because we weren't wearing any cosplay, but it's a Host Club. Since when is ANYTHING normal? But it wasn't that bad. More ladies requested hot chocolate, and Hunny had about a gallon of that stuff before Mori and I (wordlessly) agreed to give him water. He fell asleep on Mori's shoulder by the time the Club let out. (Fangirls were silently squealing over how cute it was…I just made sure he had Usa-chan before he went home.)

I drove home afterwards to the mansion, wondering what would be for dinner and if we needed more ramen. (I fell in love with it while I lived in the States…I think it's the one thing both Tamaki and I like, but Heaven help me if he finds out…)

I entered the kitchen calling, "Ichiru! What's for dinner, do ya need help?" I flicked on the light. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"You know we pay Ichiru to cook, not you." It was my mom. She was home early from modeling. I looked at her apprehensively. If you really compare us, we really don't look much alike. She is tall and thin, she has shoulder-length chestnut hair, but her eyes and our skin tone are the same. She stood from where she sat on the counter. I only reached her torso…she despised my short stature, and me helping the maids, she called it 'uncivilized'.

"What on earth are you wearing?" _Shit, I forgot to change my uniform! I just wanted to leave because Kyoya wanted interrogate me over the profits of hot chocolate versus tea!_ "Oh, er…I joined a club at school! And ah…most of the members are boys, so they wanted me to wear a replica of the guys uniform." _Please don't ask why, please don't ask why!_

"I see." She lit a cigarette. _Ugh, I fucking hate that habit of hers, it smells so bad._ "It's acceptable, I suppose…(_don't ask about the Club!..._)…though you know you look ridiculous with those stockings. Your skirt should be longer it's almost indecent." _YES! She didn't as-EXCUSE ME? This is coming from a Victoria's Secret runway model, I'M dressed indecent?_ I dare not fight back though, she's a very strict lady, you sit and take her criticisms and agree, otherwise…well one time she threw out my whole wardrobe excluding the stuff she bought me…or ground me from my iPod, or force me to take cotillion classes, or runway classes, pretty much she KNOWS how to torture me humanely with stuff I hate.

I was silent as she took another drag from her cigarette. She flicked the ash onto the floor. _Damnit! STOP! That will take ages to scrub off!_ "Get changed, we are going out." I looked up at her.

"Out?" Shit. Out could mean oh so many things…'out' as in a business dinner, a fellow model's (pent)house, a party, a dinner where she would tell me something life changing (she did that to tell me we were moving to Japan), or (when dad was alive) 'out' as in to the theatre or somewhere cool.

"Yes, out. We were invited to dine with a neighbor." Wow, she normally didn't tell me this much…must be the nicotine. Now, I predicted she would tell me who invited us, and what I was 'to wear'. "The family who lives nearby would like to get to know us, they requested (here she crinkled her nose) you wear something 'cute'."

I perked up. _Cute? Neighbor? This must mean we were invited to dine with Hunny's family!_ "Yes ma'am," I said tonelessly. I walked up the stairs to the butlers' pantry. I listened for her to come after me, but she didn't. Soundlessly (because she hates it if I run in the house) I jazz ran up the main stairs to my room, feeling very VERY happy.

It actually took me more than 5 seconds to decide what to wear…seeing as mom had a different idea of 'cute' than I did. I decided on a blue shirt dress shirt that was close fitting, but with billowy sleeves. I also had a darker blue mini skirt and blue and white striped thigh high stockings. I wore some black ankle boots and left my room…and bumped into mom. She had actually waited for me outside of my room…to monitor what I wore.

Her eyes swiveled up and down my frame. I swear I didn't look slutty or inappropriate! Hunny did say 'cute'! I looked anime-ish if anything! I even wore shorts beneath my skirt just in case! (In case what, I don't even know.) "No," she said. Without another word she marched into my room and began shuffling through my closet. I got a look at what she was wearing…and it was awful.

I looked at least decent. SHE wore a thin lingerie looking hot pink dress with black lace trim which looked great on her…if she was advertising Playboy! It looked like it would barely cover her butt! She did wear a short jean jacket over that but she had on fish net stockings and black stilettos which did nothing to heighten my opinion for her.

"This wardrobe is hopeless," she said. She eventually gave up, eyeing me again saying, "It will have to do." Then she slammed my door. Crap, looks like I'll have to hide my entire wardrobe again…Zakuro and Ami did that for me last time when my mom tried to throw out my wardrobe. They are so nice…

"LET'S GO!" My mom is very impatient. I grabbed a black purse and quickly walked (but not ran) down to the limo. Our chauffeur's name is Jonouchi, but he lets me and the other maids call him Joey. He's the full time mechanic/maintenance man for the cars. (He's the one who taught me how to drive and drift. Mom doesn't know about the drifting part…) I hopped in and he began driving (safely) to the Haninozuka residence.

Neither me nor my mom spoke for a while…until she said "They have a son who is a year older than you."

"I see," _Crap she's gonna go on about being 'nice' and 'getting to know him'…she just wants me to date Hunny._

"He goes to Ouran as well. I want you to get to know him. Be nice, I hear he is quite rich and would make a very good potential business partner." _Tch…business partner=boyfriend in YOUR mind…_

"Yes, mom. May I ask…have you ever seen him?"

"No, but I hear he is quite handsome and is very apt in martial arts." _Martial arts? Oh right! Haruhi told me about that when we were cleaning this afternoon…Hunny does judo and karate and Mori does kendo. That's badass…_My musings were interrupted as we approached the gates which led to the Haninozuka mansion.

It was a large, Japanese style mansion with beautiful landscaping and a gravel drive. I got out first, followed by my mom. "Best behavior…" she hissed at me. _Yeah, sure mom, but if you've never seen him before, you're in for a surprise…_

I followed her into a foyer where I removed my shoes and was given slippers. "Thank you," I said to the maid. She bowed and smiled, but my mom pinched me. She doesn't think 'servants' deserve praise for their job.

"This way," the butler said. Both he and the maid were dressed in traditional Japanese attire. To say I felt out of place was a gross understatement. Again, I followed my mom and the butler into a receiving room of sorts.

The butler began, "Permit me to announce Suzuki Jimena-sama (remember, I'm half Mexican too…I used to love my mom's same cuz dad would call her Hime; 'princess' for short) and her daughter Suzuki Kotone-sama."

The butler smiled and shooed me forward, so I stepped out from behind my mom and stood to her right. I looked upon the Haninozukas for the first time. Hunny's father was tall and broad. He looked strong and stern, yet his eyes seemed cheery. He had blond hair and blue eyes. In contrast, his wife was petite, with black hair and chocolate brown eyes, she seemed very kind and looked younger than I guessed she was. Both wore traditional kimonos, the lady wore purple, the other a deep forest green.

Next to them stood Hunny, smiling with Usa-chan in his arms. He wore a blue shirt beneath a close fitting black hoodie which he left unzipped. He wore plaid black and blue shorts and black loafers. He looked cute. He was anxious to hug me, I could tell…he was bouncing on his heels.

"Welcome to our house Suzuki-san and Kotone-san. We are so glad you could make it tonight," said Mr. Haninozuka. The family bowed, and I bowed back deeply. Mom bowed a little too, but she didn't learn Japanese etiquette, whereas she made me take an entire fucking class on it before we left…I already knew all of it…my dad taught me when we used to watch anime together.

"I am Haninozuka Shuuhei, this is my wife Yukina. And this," he said with a smile. "Is my eldest son Mitskuni. My other son is at his cousin's house tonight. He sends his apologies."

I chanced a glance at mom and almost burst out laughing. Her jaw had dropped and she was staring at Hunny in horror. It was actually quite funny. I smiled and took a step forward to break the silence. "Thank you so much for inviting us," I said, bowing. Hunny took his opportunity.

"KOTO-CHAN!" He picked me up in a hug and spun me around. I laughed, hugging him back. "You look really cute in blue, we almost match!" "Yeah," I grinned.

His parents smiled, "I take it you know one another," said his mom.

"Yup! We are in the Club together!" He squeezed me tighter. "Hunny-senpai, I can't breathe…"

"Oh….sorry Koto-chan." He gently put me down. Mom looked pissed to high hell. "Can Usa-chan hug you?" He held his bunny up to me. I squeezed his bunny gently, taking in a vague scent of cake and other sweets. "He smells sweet Hunny-senpai."

"We're at my home now, you can call me by my name!"

"Uhh…(I blushed) ok…Hunny."

He grinned. "No, my REAL real name."

"But you're older than me!"

"It's ok! I don't mind!" I glanced at his parents. They were grinning, his mom gave me a reassuring nod. "Uh…ok…Mitskuni."

He smiled. "My name sounds much better when you say it!" _Oh God this kid needs to stop before I resemble a friggin tomato._ Luckily a maid came in to announce dinner and Hunny dragged me off to the table so I could sit next to him. Dinner was a solemn affair, and afterward we were invited to the parlor for coffee. Hunny smiled as a butler came over with two cups of hot chocolate for us. I winked at Hunny who grinned evilly with the butler…scary…

The adults discussed many boring things not even worth repeating while Hunny and I talked about other things, and soon it was time to leave…after having a slice of cake. (Mom swooned when she saw how much cake Hunny had. She barely ate any of her dinner claiming it was her 'diet'. Pity…it was delicious fish…)

"Come and visit me ANYTIME Koto-chan! Next time I'll show you the dojo and maybe Takashi will come visit too!"

"I'd like that a lot Hu-Mitskuni." I meant it too. He hugged me good-bye and he gave me Usa-chan to hug good-bye. When that was over, I said a formal good-bye to Mr. and Mrs. Haninozuka and we left.

In the car, mom was livid. "Thank GOD that is over with! How ridiculous are these people? THAT'S their son? He's so short! Is THAT how the Haninozuka heir acts? He's disgraceful! And ugh! He dressed like he was homeless!" _Please mom, homeless guys don't wear Armani cologne and Gucci loafers._ "They said he was good at martial arts PFFT! Yea right! And that BUNNY! (I say it's cute!) What does he think he's 8? It should be burned! And the cake! He ate as much as Henry VIII and Fat Louie put together! Is he insane? (He's more sane than you.) And I-"

"Ma'am?"

"WHAT?"

"We're home," Joey said, opening the door for her. She sniffed and got out of the car. I followed quietly, hoping she wouldn't say anything about…"AND WHY ON EARTH DID YOU ADDRESS HIM SO CASUALLY?"

"AH! Er…well…he asked me to…"

"NO! You should always address him as your senpai got it? You could have ruined all our chances at being business partners with him!"

Just take it…"Yes mom. I'm sorry." I walked quickly to my room and locked my door, collapsing onto my bed.

"Miss?" I looked over to my closet where Ami and Zakuro had already finished packing my wardrobe up. I swear they are telepathic or something. "Will she be throwing it out tomorrow?"

"I dunno…she's got a photo shoot all day tomorrow and then a party she has to go to…if she comes home drunk, then she won't."

The maids nodded. Then Zakuro asked, "So how was dinner? What did el Patron (the maids call her that…it's Spanish for boss) think of Haninozuka-sama?"

"You mean Hunny-senpai," I asked smiling.

The maids squirmed in closer. "YES," Ami squealed. "I bet she was surprised after all the things she heard about him!"

"Damn straight she was! Her jaw hit the floor and it looked like she would pass out!" We laughed about the ridiculousness until 3 in the morning, when we all finally decided to go to bed. I sank into my pillow glad that tomorrow I wouldn't see my mom.

**A/N: To see what Kotone wears to Hunny's house, google 'Amulet Spade' from the anime Shugo Chara!. Yea I wore something like that on Monday, just add a black bomber jacket and Aviators!**


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up the next morning in a rather unusual way…I was having one of those weird dreams where you are in your bed but your brain feels like your upside down and the colors get all stretchy and weird…then I heard a creepy voice speaking my name…

I eventually came too and _Hunny-senpai_ of all people was leaning over me, smiling and repeating my name. "Hi Koto-

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT THE HELL?" I jumped into a sitting position, pulling my sheets up with me. Don't get me wrong, I was wearing an old dance t-shirt and sweat pants to bed but I didn't want him to see that!

"How- what- who- why- what time is it?"

He giggled, sitting cross-legged on my knees. "Your nice maid let me in, I'm here cuz I wanted to have breakfast with you, I'm the only one here cuz I ran from my house, because I wanted to, and its 7:34 am."

"Oh." Well that explained a lot. "But Hunny-senpai…why are you in my room and why were you leaning over me?"

He smiled and rolled off my knees and onto the floor. "I said I wanted to have breakfast with you, so we're having breakfast in bed! Chiru-chan (Ichiru maybe?) said he would make us some hot chocolate and bring it up soon! And I was trying to wake you up Koto-chan, but I didn't want to touch you. It's rude to touch sleeping ladies."

…_but isn't it worse if you stare at them while leaning over them?_ Then I noticed something odd…"Hunny-senpai…are you still in your pajamas?"

"Yup!" He spun around to show me his cute pink Usa-chan decorated pajamas. "When I said 'breakfast in bed, this means both of us!" _EH?_ He climbed onto my bed and sat next to me on top of my covers. I blushed. I NEVER let guys into my room! Especially while I was in my PAJAMAS. Oddly enough though, this was like having a sleepover…with a very cute 18-year-old-who-looked-like-he-could-be-8.

There was a knock at the door and Ami came in with two trays, one with hot chocolate, and the other with chocolate chip muffins (from Hunny I guessed…yum…), bacon, sausage, and a bowl of fruit each. Ami cheerily put the trays on the table and arranged them on our laps.

"There you go," she said cheerily.

"Um…Ami, is my mom home today," _Ohmigosh cuz if she's here…hell…_

Ami's face fell. Shit. "No…she's not." _She's not? REALLY?_ "She told me and Zakuro to tell you she's going to a photo shoot in LA and in London and won't be back for two weeks."

"Oh…" Yea…it hurts, even if that person hurts you, it hurts to know they left without saying good bye. Hunny must have known this because he passed me Usa-chan. I cuddled him silently, Ami looked sad, but bowed and left.

"I heard my parents talking with your mom last night. She told them she would be leaving at 6 am for a flight at 7:45. I thought you might be lonely, but I didn't know she would leave without telling you."

I turned to him. His bangs covered his eyes, but I could tell he was sad. I worked my face into a smile. "It's ok Hunny-sempai, I'm used to it." _Well, that is for damn certain. She would be here one day and disappear the next all the time when I was younger. And she still does._

"It's rude of her."

"Eh?" His voice changed, it sounded deeper…almost angry…

"Last night when I met her I thought she was a woman with a poor wardrobe and no common sense…but now I think she is a spiteful person. I won't respect her in the future."

I blinked. Wow, he did change! His normal cute aura turned dark and I could tell he was mad for me…

I placed my hand on his forearm. "Hunny-senpai, it's okay. I don't resent her for it so neither should you ok?" He nodded. "Ok, well then…shall we have some breakfast?"

At that word he perked up and we both ate in earnest. The muffins were really good and so was the bacon and fruit. Afterwards he convinced me to show him around the mansion. By show…he means pulling me at break-neck speed to peek into EVERY room and to make me insanely dizzy. I hadn't even changed out of my pajamas! (Well neither had he, but that's beside the point.) We ended up in the dance room again.

"I like this room the best," Hunny proclaimed. He spun around. I giggled. "Why is that Hunny-sempai?"

He winked at me. "Mitskuni remember? And this is my favorite room because you look most beautiful when you dance!" I blushed immediately. Beautiful…it's so nice to be called that…

"T-thank you H-Mitskuni. Um…er…we should change don't you think? We've been wandering around the mansion in our pajamas…"

"Okay," he said. I led him to the dance dressing room we had off the studio. Mom put it there in case she had to change outfits while modeling (_in our own house?_) I asked for one because I have so many dance costumes. I had some guys costumes too, from friends who didn't want them after their part was over. I pulled out that rack for Hunny.

"Here are a bunch of guys costumes…most of these should fit since I altered them for me. Try one on." Hunny smiled. "Ok!"

I waited and in less than 20 seconds he came out of dressing room one…IN A MARIACHI OUTFIT! I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing. He was adorable! He wore the black pants, the spurs, the jacket, even the sombrero!

"What do you think Koto-chan?" I giggled, covering my mouth. "Im sorry (hee!) but (snort) you just look so funny! OOo! Wait a second! I'll be right back!" I dashed into the changing room and came out wearing a traditional Mexican dress. "HA! Now we match!" He laughed too. We just looked so funny.

We ended up playing dress up the whole morning. I tried on the female equivalent of his costume, so I was a fandango dancer, a shepherdess, swan princess, a snowflake, Sleeping Beauty, Juliet, Giselle, the Sugar Plum fairy, and Clara from the Nutcracker. Finally Hunny picked up the final costume. I was in the changing room struggling with the stupid zipper which got jammed on the side of my Clara costume.

"Hey Koto-chan, there's one more costume, can I try it on?"

"Yea sure, Mitskuni. After that can you help me with this stupid zipper? It got jammed."

"Sure! Hey Koto-chan, do some of the guy costumes not have a shirt?"

"No, they all have a top except there's one where the guy wore wings and suspenders. That one was for a ballet I did ages ago."

"Oh, ok. Can I come in? To help you with your zipper?"

I turned to the curtain. "Yea su-" Holy shit. He was wearing the costume. The one I was JUST talking about. And man did he look good in it. He wore the white tights, and they fit his (muscular) legs well. The suspenders came over his chest, and his chest PLUS arms were well toned and his stomach hinted at a six pack. My GOD he looked good. And the wings! Hell with the wings he seriously did look like he was from heaven. NO ONE can be that good looking! It's illegal!

But here Hunny was, dressed in just a pair of white suspenders, tights, and wings and looking DAMN good. "Where's the zipper?"

I came to. "On the side, I think it's caught on the material. He came over and carefully wedged it open. He turned around to give me more privacy. _Nice ass…NO STOP KOTONE BAD! GEEZ!_ "So is there a costume that goes with the one I'm wearing?" Crap, I was hoping he wouldn't ask…

"Well, yes…but I don't like to wear it…" I had changed into a black leotard and shorts now. "I'm decent by the way."

"Why not?" He took off his wings, then turned to me.

"Because it's a two piece costume that shows my midriff…I was so embarrassed when I had to wear it…it's completely white, the sleeves are long and the skirt is super short in the front and floor length in the back. It was a pain to dance in…" I handed him a pair of guy sweat pants and a t-shirt. "Here, you can wear this for now." I struggled into some leg warmers then went and found some old ballet shoes which I slipped into. _Gosh that kid…I swear…he's gonna give me a heart attack_.

Just then, my stomach growled unexpectedly. "Hey Mitskuni, want some lunch?"

He teleported next to me (I swear he did, no one moves that fast). "Sure Koto-chan! What's for lunch?"

"I dunno, let's see what Ichiru is making." We ran to the kitchen to find Ichiru, who was very busy doing…something…"Hey Ichiru! Watcha doin?"

"He smiled at me over his shoulder. "I'm making hamburgers for lunch. Sound good?" From our drooling faces, he received a good enough answer. He went ahead and served us in the kitchen, but if mom had been there, we would have had a full course meal at the dining room table.

We had several cookies for dessert, then ran around the outside of the mansion twice to rid ourselves of the sugar high. We actually ran out as far as the boathouse, which was just finished two days before. In there I keep my Opti, FJ, Lasar, Buccaneer, Sunfish, JY, Olsen 30, and my Carolina Skiff. They used to all be my dad's (except the Opti, which was mine)…but he left them all to me in the will. Hunny wandered over to the boathouse, which surprised me a lot…seeing as boathouses never smell perfectly 'fresh'. Most servants don't go near it because they say it 'smells funny'.

"Why do you have another small house Koto-chan?"

"That's not a house for people Mitskuni, that's a boathouse." His eyes lit up, again another surprise.

"Ooo! Can I see?"

"Uh…sure, but you'll have to pardon the mess. It was just completed a couple days ago." I grabbed the handle and pulled the heavy metal door open. I looked into the completed boathouse and it did sorta look like a house. It was large, with two changing rooms each with a toilet and a shower, a humidified room (for wet sailing gear) a storage closet for lines, tillers, rudders, and daggerboards, and a loft that held sails above a great room with my boats on their appropriate trailers or cradles.

I looked at Hunny, whose eyes were huge. "Whoa Koto-chan! This house is sooooo big and you have so many boats!" I smiled. Yea, there were a lot, but my dad collected these boats through the years and was always careful to maintain them in perfect working order. He refused to hire someone to keep the sailboats for him, he and I kept them all up and running.

"Are all these boats yours?" I froze a second. My body went cold remembering whose boats they _really_ were.

"No-yes…yes these boats are mine," I replied quietly. Hunny looked at me, then asked in a serious voice, "Were they your father's?"

"…yeah…" I sat down on a bench along the wall. "To me, these boats will always be his…even though they are technically mine now."

Hunny sat next to me. "May I ask how he died?" I knew Tamaki had told the Club my story, but they only knew my father had died.

"Well, this past March, we were out on a large sailboat on the Atlantic, several miles out from Newport. There was a sudden storm that came up and our boat got filled with lots of water, the wind was blowing really hard, and I was putting on my life jacket when the boom jibed and hit me in the head. It knocked me unconscious and I fell in the water."

Hunny gasped and my eyes filled with tears as I retold the rest. "According to the servant that went with us, my dad jumped in after me and put his own life jacket on me. The servant managed to get out in time with his own life jacket on and he had an extra one for my dad. My dad was still too close to the wreck and a line caught on his foot. It—dragged him down when the boat sank. He drowned. The servant tried to go after him, but the suction from the sinking sailboat was too much. He had to leave my dad to save me so I wouldn't get pulled under."

I was rubbing my eyes when I felt a tug on my hair. I faced Hunny, and he wrapped me in a hug. One of the hugs that make you feel safe and secure. "You can cry now."

I did. I wrapped my arms around him and cried like I hadn't ever cried before. Not even at his funeral did I cry so much. I wasn't allowed to cry at the funeral…mom said it was unsightly. But here I was, crying in front of a guy I only knew for a week, and all he could do was rub my head. He carefully placed my head in his lap and stroked my hair. I silently cried more; Dad used to do that to me when I felt sad.

After I stopped crying, I sat up next to Hunny. He then asked, "What happened to the servant that rescued you?"

"Mom blamed him for my dad's death and there was a lawsuit. She was going to sue him for 100 million dollars. It was proved that the death was accidental, so he wasn't sued, but mom still thought it was his fault. She fired him."

Hunny's face darkened. "I knew she was deceitful, but this is unforgivable. She fired him for saving your life?" 

"Yeah, pretty much. He couldn't do anything to save him, he disappeared so fast! I know my mom treated him unfairly and she forbids contact with him, though secretly, I still send him his wages via mail. He was a good man and didn't deserve to be let off. Don't tell ok?"

Hunny smiled deviously. "Ok."

He left at around 3 that afternoon, and the maids ambushed me in the kitchen and bombarded me with questions the second he left.

"OHMIGOSH HE IS CUTE! Where did you pick him up?"

"Aww he's so sweet why did he leave so early?" 

"Is he in your class?"

"What's with the bunny?"

"Is he single?"

"Is he gay," Ichiru asked.

All the maids stopped in astonishment. "Ichiru, you _would_ ask a question like that wouldn't you," I said.

I sat up on the counter and addressed them all. "Ami, Zakuro, Ichiru, Rin, Sango: (by the way, Rin and Sango are mom's maids) Mitskuni I met at the Host Club, he left early because he had judo practice with his brother, he's in class 3-A, the bunny is his trademark, yes he is single, and no he is not gay."

"Well damn," Ichiru said. No he's not gay but he reads waaaay too much shojo manga.

I spent the rest of the day doing my homework and playing my harp, I was playing 'Danny Boy' when it occurred to me; _huh, I wonder what Hunny's brother looks like_.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I read the last chapter I posted and realized that I actually had the same afternoon that Kotone did…except I was playing the song "Brothers" from Fullmetal Alchemist on my harp.**

Monday passed rather boringly and Tuesday was just weird. Tamaki decided 'to further enhance a lady's fantasies over beautiful men, those men should dress appropriately to increase these desires'.

Which is why we were all dressed in animal costumes.

"BUT I DON'T WANNA BE A FURRY*!" I shouted at Tamaki as he handed me the bag of my costume.

"Me either," Haruhi said looking positively thrilled at her costume. She held it up for me to see. "Uh…pardon me but, what the hell is that?" I poked her costume bag a little worriedly.

"I don't even know. Senpai, what is it?" Tamaki was already dressed in his costume, and surprisingly, he made his lion costume look actually decent.

"Haruhi, you do not recognize your specimen that you are set to portray?" He was sparkling again…

"No." He retreated into his Corner of Gloom to sulk for a bit. Kyoya came out of the dressing room looking…kinda scary…

"Kyoya, what are you supposed to be," I asked.

"Today I'm portraying the _Canis lupus_."

"Yeah, cuz I'm supposed to know what that is," I mumbled, sweat dropping.

"Timber wolf." I turned. "Oh hey Mori-senpai…you look er…"

"Yeah…" He was dressed as a mouse. A big grey mouse. He even had a pink nose and a long pink tail. Wow, Tamaki's logic knows no bounds.

"Hi Koto-chan!" Hunny greeted me after climbing onto Mori's shoulder. He was dressed as a bunny, looking rather adorable in his pink outfit. He too had ears and a cottony tail. He was carrying Usa-chan who was oddly enough dressed in a fluffy sheep costume.

" Hey Hunny-senpai, you look…er…great!"

"Thanks Koto-chan! You should see the twins! One is a gorilla and the other is a ferret!"

"WRONG Hunny-senpai! Kaoru is a weasel and I'm a monkey!" On cue they both tumbled out of the dressing room. Both looked pretty cool, for being the random mammals they were. They jumped to attention and saluted Tamaki saying, "We are ready for action milord!"

Just then I heard Haruhi from inside the dressing room. (When did she get in there?) "Umm…senpai? I think you mixed up some of the costumes…" She came out of the dressing room. Oh. My. Gosh. He costume was a bown fuzzy bodysuit-thing, she had black webbed feet and hands and she had a duck-bill. She also had a beaver's tail.

Tamaki blinked at her. "Haruhi, of course Daddy didn't mix up your costume! Today you are portraying the animal that I feel represents you best!"

"…And that would be…?"

"A platypus!" All of us stared blankly at Tamaki. _Seriously?_ A Disney theme song began playing in my head as I wondered if we had a hat she could wear*. I spoke first. "I…don't see it."

"Me either," the twins said.

Haruhi sighed. "I don't think I even want to know his reasoning." She glanced at me. "You might want to hurry, the guests will be here in 10 minutes." I nodded and went into the changing room. I pulled out my costume, the tag on it said 'cat'. Huh, well okay at least that's better than a flipping _platypus_. After I put it on though…

"OKAY, WHO MADE THIS COSTUME?"

The twins flinched and said, "Tamaki suggested it, but Kyoya came up with the design, we were just following orders!"

"KYOYA THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I'M WEARING THIS!" I opened up the dressing room curtain and stepped out. I was in a black skintight full body suit, with clawed gloves, a tail, and ears. All the guys' (except for Mori and Kyoya) jaws dropped. Yeah, the costume looked THAT BAD. Even worse, was that it was made of this really hot (as in temperature) material that was corseted around my entire body, like spandex or underarmor. I had on black boots and cat eye contacts to complete my look. Needless to say, I was uncomfortable. I turned back to the dressing room. "I'm changing."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Kyoya said, writing in his notebook. I froze and turned to him slowly.

"And why not?" The twins decided to hide behind the couch at this point.

"I invited some of the male students to come and, shall we say, _observe_ today in addition to all our regular customers."

My face darkened and I grumbled under my breath. _Great, just what I needed, a bunch of guys to come to the Club. As if dealing with drooling fangirls wasn't hard enough! _I went back into the changing room and came out with a black mini skirt on over the bodysuit. "At least this will cover something." Somehow a mini skirt was supposed to help…

The number of 'regular customers' seemed to be insignificant compared to the number of guys that came. I _prayed_ that most of them were gay, I didn't want them to stare at me! Nonetheless, I was the object most of the guys were staring at, so I decided to make the best of it. With permission from Kyoya, I became very much like a cute fluffy black kitty.

I perched on an armrest to serve 'my master'. "Here you are!" I said, handing said 'master' a cup of coffee. "Is there anything else you'd like-nya?" The guys sitting on the couch gave me a dreamy look and vaguely shook his head no. "Okay then! Enjoy-nya!" I walked away. _Geeze this is ridiculous._

It really was. Tamaki was having his mane petted by 3 girls at a time, the weasel and the monkey were doing everything BUT making out, Kyoya was drinking tea and typing on his computer, Haruhi was being naturally a charming person and Hunny and Mori…

"Koto-neko-chan! Come here! I want you to sit next to me!" I glanced at Kyoya. I wasn't a guest so normally I wasn't allowed to sit with the Hosts…unless Kyoya thought it would be profitable. This seemed to be the case because he nodded at me. I skipped over, then crouched on the couch cushion like a kitty.

"Didja need something, Usa-senpai?" I thought it sounded dumb but the guests apparently thought it was cute.

Hunny giggled, taking his bajillionth piece of carrot cake. "Will you stay for a bit? I want you to drink some milk with me!" _YAY MILK! I love milk._

"Sure Usa-senpai!"

"Yay! And the kitty should sit next to the mouse, right?"

I glanced at Mori. He grunted 'yes' so I sat next to him. He looked rather silly in his grey costume with the big ears, he was even wearing fake whiskers (as was I)! He was eating a hunk of cheese too. (WTF?) I tried not to stare as I drank my milk from a sake cup (again…Tamaki's boundless logic) when I felt something on my head. I turned and Hunny was rubbing my head right behind my cat ears. He was giggling.

"You look just like a kitty Koto-chan!" I glanced at Kyoya. He adjusted his glasses and nodded. I leaned into Hunny's hand.

"Nya Usa-senpai that feels nice!" He giggled more then began to scratch the lower part of my head. I closed my eyes lazily and 'purred' (I rolled my r's), when I peeked one open, all the guys had either nosebleeds or drool running down their uniforms. Lovely.

The female guests squealed. "Sooooo CUTE!" One of them asked, "Um…Kotone-senpai, you're supposed to be a cat right?"

_No dipshit I'm a penguin_. "Yes I am." I settled into a kitty position farthest away from the Hosts.

"And Mori-senpai is a mouse correct?" _No, he's the penguin._

"…Yeah…" Crap, where was this going?

"Aren't you going to chase him?" Mori choked on his cheddar. I almost spit out my milk.

"Uhh…" _CRAAAP! Think of an excuse…_

"Well, I can't chase him unless he is running…which he isn't." Mori glanced at me and granted me a ghost of a smile for thanks. _Phew, close call._ Unfortunately the twins heard this conversation…

"So let me get this straight," said Hikaru walking like a monkey.

"…If Mori-senpai runs," said Kaoru in a devious voice.

"You will chase after him," they finished.

"Uhh…" Too late. The twins grabbed the wooly Usa-chan and began running around the room. Hunny did not like that. He did not like that AT ALL. He literally growled and speeded after them looking pissed to high hell. Mori dropped his cheese and immediately took off after Hunny, leaving me alone on the couch. I looked at the ladies who were giving me encouraging willful 'pleeeeeease' looks. I looked at Kyoya.

He nodded. Shit.

Well, life is never fair anyway…I gave the ladies an evil grin which showed them my enlarged canines (this was STILL Tamaki's idea) and took off after Mori with a battle cry of "!" Mori saw me and internally freaked out (yeah I could SO tell). I caught up to him (how I did that in skintight boots is anyone's guess) and shimmied up his back to sit on his shoulder. Mori looked a little confused until I shouted, "AFTER THAT BUNNY!" The ladies cheered for us.

Hunny was fast and determined though, and we could only get close to him, but not near enough to pick him up. Then Mori handed me a hunk of cheese.

"What's this?"

"It's cake."

"But it looks like cheese."

"It's cake."

"But it looks like…oh…"

I chucked the cheese in front of Hunny screaming, "CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!" Hunny stopped and bent to pick up the cheese when Mori grabbed him.

Hunny squirmed, "But the cake-!"

"Mitskuni I'm really sorry to say this, but THE CAKE WAS A LIE!"

Hunny stared at me for a second. I prepared myself for his waterworks, but surprisingly he giggled, petted my ears and said "Koto-chan called me Mitskuni." I blushed. Oh crap, I did. I quickly faced forward so I could watch the chase. Hikaru and Kaoru were still running around with Usa-chan, but they seemed less terrified now that Mori and I picked him up.

The chase continued for another five minutes and I was getting sick of it. I kneeled on Mori's shoulder. "Will you launch me?" He nodded and pushed off my feet, in a forward projection. I crashed into the twins, grabbing Usa-chan as I crashed through them. I slid on the floor to a stop. "Ouch…" That would leave a bruise…The male visitors crowded around me.

"Are you okay?"

"Can you walk?"

"Don't cats always land on their feet?"

"Do you need a doctor?"

Kyoya broke through the circle of boys and looked concerned for once. He checked me for broken bones, and when he was satisfied, he asked Mori to move me to the couch. When he set me down, Hunny came toward me with tearful eyes.

"Koto-chan…"

"It's okay Hunny-senpai, here's Usa-chan for you." I handed him his beloved stuffed animal, and several of his tears overflowed onto his cheeks. He took my hand, then began to cry in earnest.

"T-thank you Koto-chan. I'm so sorry…" He pressed a kiss to the back of my hand, then bowed his head over it to emphasize his apology. I was kinda shocked at his chivalry but it was cute. (The fangirls thought so too, they were biting their handkerchiefs to prevent themselves from screaming.)

I put my other hand on his head and he looked up at me. I smiled. "Hunny-senpai, it's okay. Remember? Cats have nine lives nya?"

He giggled and gave me a gentle hug. For the rest of the Club, he insisted I stay on the couch and rest, and he served the customers sitting next to me. Mori stood next to the couch, even though I insisted that he sit. Personally, I think he enjoyed the adrenaline rush and wouldn't be able to keep still if he sat. The twins apologized to Hunny for stealing Usa-chan by buying him a nice strawberry cake. They were immediately forgiven as he demolished the cake in under two minutes.

The boys were ever so sympathetic to my 'condition' and were more than happy to sit and stare at me the entire time, waiting for me to beg them to fetch an impossible item I couldn't reach. Thought they _did_ get me Swedish fish (the gummies)…

When all the guests left, I was finally allowed to stand up ON MY OWN (gasp)! I went for a broom when I heard my name being called.

"Kotone?" It was Kyoya. _Damn, this can't be good…_

"Yeah," I went to him with the broom…just in case.

"Please change into the Club's uniform before you sweep the room. We have some more visitors who are coming." I was surprised, but knowing Kyoya wouldn't tell me who it was, I decided to nod and go do as he said.

By the time I came back out, everyone but Hunny and Mori looked normal again. Hunny was still finishing some cake and it appeared that Mori seriously liked eating cheese! (Cuz I could totally tell _that_ too.) Haruhi and I made quick work of cleaning up the room and I had just put away the cleaning supplies when the door opened.

I smiled at the middle school boy. "Hi! May I help—"

"SO IT IS TRUE! YOU HAVE SUNK SO LOW THAT YOU DRESS AS A RABBIT FOR THIS CLUB?" The kid (who wore glasses) sprang forward and tried to attack Hunny, who neatly dodged his kick by flipping over the table! I was freaking out. _HOLY FUCKING SHIT! WHY IS A MIDDLE SCHOOLER ATTACKING MITSKUNI?_ Hunny didn't look phased though. Quite the contrary, he counter-attacked with several punches and a leg sweep, which was neatly dodged by the taller boy.

I began shouting. "HUNNY-SENPAI! WHAT THE HE…" Mori snatched me up as the fight moved in my direction. Apparently his shoulders are the best spot to view/be protected from a fight. He placed his hands on my knees (as opposed to my ankles) and turned his head to look at me.

Now, I may not speak Mori's language well, but his hand placements said, _you're not going anywhere_, and his eyes said _leave this to Mitskuni_. Tamaki came up next to Mori and handed me some opera glasses.

"Here, you could use these. How long have they been going at it so far Mori-senpai?"

"Two minutes." Then the twins appeared with popcorn, Haruhi in tow with tea.

"Did we miss anything?"

"…no."

The twins began commentating ."As usual, our beloved Hunny-senpai is showing perfect form and pose as he executes the most complicated martial arts moves!"

"IS ANYONE ELSE WORRIED THAT THERE IS A BUNNY AND A MIDDLE SCHOOL KID FIGHTING IN A MUSIC ROOM?" Seriously, I was freaking out. Someone was going to get hurt!

"Don't you know," Kyoya asked as he came up on the other side of Mori-senpai.

"Uh…no…" Kyoya smirked. He was enjoying this. Bastard.

Haruhi spoke up. "Well, you know the Haninozukas are known as being masters of martial arts right?"

"Yeah…"

"Well the guy with glasses is Hunny-senpai's younger brother."

"…" _WHAT? NO WAY!_ I looked down at Mori. "Seriously?"

"Yeah." I looked back up. I could see a bit of a resemblance…I mean, both had blond hair and brown eyes…the only real difference was that the younger boy was several inches taller, and his hair was a shade darker. Oh, and he wore glasses. You think that if his family was so wealthy they would be able to afford Lasic eye surgery…or contact lenses…

"So…them fighting is a normal occurrence," I asked Haruhi. She proceeded to explain how it was encouraged when we heard a loud, "EEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" The boy with glasses pulled out a kunai (OHMYGOSH ILLEGAL!) and lunged at Hunny. Hunny responded by kicking his knees, pinning him to the ground, then taking his weapon and holding it to his face.

"One point, Chika-chan." The younger brother struggled for a second, and when he couldn't get free, he exhaled angrily.

"Fine! You win."

"YAY!" Hunny's creepy fighting demeanor disappeared and he bounced over to me and Mori.

"Hey Takashi! Did you see how Chika-chan used the kunai? Ooh and that kick he used to throw me off? Wasn't it great? And…"

"Who might _you_ be?" The middle schooler came over and was looking at me in distaste. _Jeez dude what the hell did I ever do to you?_ I tapped Mori on the shoulder and he gently took my hands, let me move both my knees onto one shoulder (remember, I'm wearing a skirt here. Basically I was kneeling on his left shoulder.) Then he grabbed me by the waist and put me down carefully so my skirt wouldn't fly up. _Damn he's good at this…and I've only ridden on his shoulders three times!_

I stepped forward and bowed. "Hi, my name is Suzuki Kotone and I recently joined the Club. It's a pleasure to meet you."

He seemed taken aback by my manners, but he bowed back saying. "It's my pleasure to meet you Suzuki-senpai, I am Haninozuka Yasuchika. I am Mitskuni's younger brother." I smiled. _Well this isn't going as bad as I thought. He seems polite and…_

"That uniform was not approved by the chairman was it?" _Eh?_

"Well, uh…it's just my uniform for Club hours."

"As I thought. They brainwashed you too. Don't end up like my idiot brother and wear stupid outfits just because some 'king' said it would suit your personality."

Um…WHAT THE HELL? What was this kid's problem? "Um, Haninozuka-kun, I haven't been brainwashed, or whatever you said, I'm just here to help the Club." _Trum trum._

"Oh really?" _Trum trum trum._ "Well heed my advice. Get out before you become an alien too." _Alien? What? TRUM TRUM TRUM TRUM_.

"O-kay…what's that sound?" I heard running, then the door burst open.

"YASUCHIKAAAAAAA!" A tall middle school boy with black hair and a shinai ran through the door and proceeded to clobber an unsuspecting Yasuchika upside the head with said shinai. Outwardly, I was shocked and awed. Inwardly, I said; _HOLY CRAP THAT WAS AMAZING! Kid I dunno who you are, but I LOVE you! Get him in the groin!_ Ahem.

Hunny ran over to his brother to help him and I heard Mori say, "Satoshi."

The black-haired middle schooler turned and smiled. "Hi Taka! How was Club today?" He shouldered the shinai as though it was nothing. Haruhi poked me.

"That's Mori-senpai's younger brother, Satoshi. He's in the kendo club." I did a double take to the Mouse-Mori and the Mini-Mori. _HOLY CRAP THEY ARE RELATED!_

**Gosh I love this chapter…**

***I don't know or own LittleKuriboh. And I don't own Phineas and Ferb or Perry the Platypus. Or anything else really…**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: This is the last chapter I'm posting until exams are over. DO NOT FRET! I will post another chapter before 2011!**

"Oh, so you're new to the Club! That's cool, I just came by today because I heard that Takashi would be wearing a really cool costume." Satoshi was sitting on a couch drinking tea and munching on a cookie while Yasuchika was sulking on the other side of the couch, icing his head and pouting.

I'll admit it. I _liked_ this kid. He was just so cool and awesome like Mori. I reeeeeeally wanted to hug him, he was like an adorable little big brother! (If that makes any sense.)

He took another gulp of tea. "Man, this tea is really good! It's chai right? These cookies are fantastic too! Yasuchika, you really need to try one!" He held out a cookie to his cousin.

"You know how much I detest sweets Satoshi. Especially those from this Club." Satoshi's expression darkened a second, then in a flash he lunged at Yasuchika and had him in a headlock. (As if giving him brain damage wasn't enough.)

"Apologize!"

"No!"

"Apologize!"

"NO!"

"C'mon Yasuchika! This is stupid! Apologize for being rude and I'll let you go!"

"…"

"What was that?"

"Uh…Satoshi," I patted his shoulder. "You can let go now. He passed out." Hunny looked mildly surprised.

Satoshi flipped out. "OMIGOSH YASU I'M SO SORRY! ICE! I NEED ICE!" He pulled Yasuchika onto the couch and began fanning him with his jacket. Mori handed him some ice (where did he come from?) and he placed it on his cousin's head. Yasuchika woke up after a moment.

"Ugh…what…?" He was silenced by a glomp from Satoshi.

"YASUCHIKA! I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO KNOCK YOU UNCONSCIOUS!"

"GAH! Satoshi it's fine! LET GO! Augh! Stupid Satoshi." He managed to heave the taller boy off him and scooch to the end of the couch, still icing his head. His aura was seeping evil and he was muttering about 'Satoshi' 'stupid' 'head' 'concussion' and 'baby chicks'. (Wait what?)

Satoshi sat back. "Serves you right. You need to be more respectful to our senpais. Especially your brother." Yasuchika growled in response.

I broke the awkward silence. "Um…so what do you think of the costumes now that you see them?"

"It was exactly as I imagined! Takashi displayed great discipline in wearing such intricate cosplay for hours on end. His sheer determination is astonishing and it shines through to all his peers and makes him strong! His whole persona when he wears this outfit gives him a gentle look to match his natural disposition, and as always, his silence enhances his costume and makes him look cool. Taka is the ultimate samurai!" _Wow, this kid is intense._

"Ah, question! You do realize that 'the ultimate samurai' is currently in a mouse costume," the twins asked.

"Yeah."

"And you still think he looks cool?"

"Taka makes the costume look cool. No one else but him could possibly make a mouse costume appear so noble and strong despite the animals' small stature and character! He makes a meek and shy mouse bold and strong. It's astounding," he said, adding in a dramatic fist pump. I swear I thought I saw him tearing up at his own speech. I looked at Mori-senpai to see what he would do. He was still munching on the cheese, but his eyes were smiling.

Tamaki was also tearing up at the speech. "Satoshi, you completely understand my sentiments." Satoshi snapped out of his sparkly Tamaki-like mode and gave him an odd look. He turned to Yasuchika.

"Sorry Yasuchika, I didn't mean to knock you out."

"Sure…"

"I didn't!"

"I know, I know okay?" I had an odd feeling that Yasuchika suffered from migraines often…

"So Takashi looks cool right?"

"…I guess…" He hadn't moved an inch to look at his costume.

"So then tell me why you hate Mitskuni-senpai's costume? They're both animals!"

"BECAUSE HE'S DRESSED AS A FREAKING BUNNY THAT'S WHY! HE LOOKS LIKE AN IDIOT AND HE MATCHES THAT DAMN BUNNY HE ALWAYS CARRYS! IT'S DISGUSTING TO LOOK AT HIM! HE'S A DISGRACE TO OUR FAMILY'S NAME!" _Grr…NOW he's gonna pay. I fucking HATE that phrase!_

I stepped to the front of the Hosts who were crowded near the couch. "Hey. What's with the attitude? The only reason Hunny-senpai is dressing like that is because it was for today's cosplay! We all looked equally ridiculous in our costumes!" Everyone looked stunned, but mostly Yasuchika. I'm guessing he doesn't have many people stand up to him like that.

"It's nothing of _your_ concern if I hate my brother or not. He annoys me. His love of cute things, his sweet tooth, EVERYTHING! He's an alien!"

I crossed my arms and smirked. "It sounds to me like your _jealous_ of this 'alien'." I didn't know if he was, but it sorta sounded like it to me. He sprang up from the couch.

"WHY THE HELL WOULD I BE JEALOUS OF HIM? I'M NOT JEALOUS! I HATE HIM! I HATE ALL THINGS ASSOCIATED WITH HIM, SO NOW THAT INCLUDES YOU TOO!"

"Wow, I'm heartbroken," I said sarcastically. "You know, if you hated him so much why did you come to see him today?" He blinked in surprise. Heh, he looked like Hunny when he did that…

"Well…that's because I heard from Satoshi what outfits you people would be wearing today! I had to see if it was true." He stuck his nose up triumphantly. _Cocky bastard._

"You couldn't have asked him to take a picture of the costumes?" His smile faltered. _Heh. Gotcha there._ He pushed past me.

"Whatever. What would you know? You're just like all of those other stupid fangirls!" _FRIGGIN HELL! BITCH YOU'RE GOING DOWN!_

I stepped in front of him and slapped my hand onto his shoulder to stop him from walking. "Hey! Last time I checked, I wasn't drooling over any of the Club's Hosts AND I'm a working member of the Club. I'm not a fangirl and I would appreciate it if you never referred to me as such."

He smirked and removed my hand from his shoulder. "Struck a nerve, have I midget?"

Oh Goddamnit Nappa*. I snapped. "I'M NOT A SHRIMP!*"

He grinned and patted me on my head. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever floats your boat. If your father could afford one." Everyone in the Club got deathly silent. Shit just got real. All the Hosts plus Satoshi stared in shock at what I did next. I knocked his hand off my head, punched him in the nose, then swept his feet out from beneath him. When he was on the ground, I flipped him onto his stomach, put my knee on the small of his back, and pinned his arms, forcing him to become an unwilling contortionist. I leaned down, close to his ear.

"Okay BASTARD you listen and you listen well. I can forgive the fangirl jibe and the short joke, but I'll have you know my father is DEAD. Get your damn facts straight before you go around insulting people you don't know. Say anything else like that again and I will skull fuck you, shoot your kneecaps with a paintball gun and chop off your dick with a merlins spike." I got off him. "And for the record asshole, I own eight boats."

I chanced a glance at Hunny, realizing for the first time that I just took down his little brother. Oh shit. I looked at him though, he Mori and the rest looked like statues until Hunny said, "Koto-chan, that martial arts was AMAZING!" He gave me a big thumbs up. _What?_

"But…I just took down your brother."

"Yeah, and those moves were so cool!"

"You're not mad?"

His face fell a little, but he said calmly, "Even a trained master can't resist fighting when something dear to him is at stake. The memory of your father is precious to you and the pain is still fresh. I can't blame you for your actions because I would have done the same." He grinned at me. "Besides, Chika-chan knows better than to provoke someone he doesn't know."

Yasuhika looked at his brother. "You're an idiot for trusting her, I…" Satoshi hit his head with his shinai. (Ouch.) "Shut up Yasuchika, this is your fault anyway." He shouldered his shinai and turned to me. I must have had a dumbfounded look on my face because he said, "What? He deserved that. And that was a nice punch. Taka thought so too." I looked at Mori. He nodded in approval and returned to his provolone.

My conscious caught up with me though and I began to feel a bit bad. I offered my hand to Yasuchika. "Hey. You okay?" He reluctantly took my hand and I helped him sit up. I'm trained in first aid, so I checked him for signs of shock or brain damage. He tried to stand up but I kept him sitting.

"Don't move a sec, I wanna see if your head's okay." He tried to move away but I grabbed his shoulder. Kyoya came over and checked him. Yasuchika was NOT happy.

"Ugh! Get off! I'm fine!"

"Well I see no evidence of any injury, so that is now true." _Well thanks Sherlock._

"Keh, stupid Club…you're all weird. And YOU!" He pointed at me. "I never want to see you ever again! You're almost as freaky as Mitskuni."

I chuckled. "I'm not freaky and neither is Hunny-senpai."

"Yes you are! You're an alien, just like him! Did he summon you from his home planet or something?"

"Umm…kid, I'm not an alien."

"YES YOU ARE! How else could you be so short and like cute things and pink and cake?"

"A) It's called genetics. B) I only like some cute things. C) I hate pink, and I have no idea how you got that idea."

"But you like cake right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"THAT PROVES YOU'RE AN ALIEN!"

"THAT PROVES NOTHING! I LIKE SWEETS IN GENERAL!"

"BUT YOU LIKE CAKE ESPECIALLY DON'T YOU?"

"WHO DOESN'T LIKE CAKE?"

He smiled triumphantly. "ME!"

I smiled. _I think I'll mess with his mind a bit…_ "SO? MAYBE _YOU'RE_ THE ALIEN HERE!"

He gasped. "W-WHAT? I'M NOT AN ALIEN!"

"I think you are." The twins had caught onto my plan and were beginning to snicker.

"NO I'M NOT! YOU HAVE NO PROOF!"

"YES I DO! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE IN THIS ROOM WHO REFUSED TO EAT SWEETS AND DRINK TEA!"

"I-I DON'T LIKE SWEETS!"

"THAT'S WHAT ALL ALIENS SAY!"

"I'M NOT AN ALIEN!"

"I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!"

"THEN WHY ARE YOU ACCUSING ME?"

"WHY WERE YOU ACCUSING ME?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE WEIRD!"

"I COULD SAY THE SAME THING ABOUT YOU!"

"NO YOU CAN'T!"

"YEAH I CAN! AND STOP YELLING AT ME!"

"I'M NOT YELLING!" He took several deep breaths. I don't think he was used to talking, let alone shouting this much. I was fine actually. My voice didn't hurt that much and I wasn't winded at all. I smirked.

He rushed to the door. "THIS ISN'T OVER! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR ALIEN FACE AGAIN! STAY AWAY FROM ME." He slammed the door.

Hikaru and Kaoru burst out laughing at our argument. "HA! Ha that…"

"…was so…"

"RIDICULOUS!" They fell over laughing.

Hunny came over to me, smiling. "That was really funny Koto-chan. How did you do that?"

"Reverse psychology…I think…I dunno I just started shouting nonsense crap to confuse him."

Satoshi bounded over. "THAT WAS AWESOME! Taka thinks so too. Right?"

"…" He was still working on that mozzarella. Tamaki came over and started rambling about my amazing speech skills (yes, those were his exact words) Haruhi just smiled at the scene and Kyoya as usual was furiously writing something down on his clipboard.

I excused myself, grabbed Hunny and took him into the hallway. I had to tell him this, it was really bugging me. "I'm so sorry."

He blinked. "For what?"

"For hurting Yasuchika and yelling at him. I won't apologize to him, because I think he got what he deserved, but I can at least apologize to you for harping on him like I did. I won't do it again, I promise." I bowed to him.

He smiled gently. "Koto-chan, I'm not mad. His battles are not mine, so it didn't bug me. Besides…you did it for me right?"

I looked up. "Yeah."

He helped me in a vertical position and gave me a hug. "That makes me happy. Sometimes I'd like to tell him all the things you did, but I don't because I must exercise control. And he would hate me more if I did."

"…So you're not mad?"

"No."

I hugged him back. "Thank goodness. I thought you would hate me for that. I think I'll bring you a cake." _Chocolate strawberry sounds good._

"REALLY?" _I KNOW! ALL THIS TALK OF CAKE IS MAKING ME HUNGRY!_

"Sure. When do you want it?"

"This Sunday! We can meet at my house! Chika-chan will be at Shi-chan…"

"Shi-chan?"

"Oh, that's what I call Satoshi." _Really? Why not Sato-chan, oh wait, no that sounds weird. Shi-chan is cool._ "Anyway, Chika-chan will be at Shi-chan's house on Sunday, so you won't have to worry about seeing him okay?"

"You're not getting rid of him are you?"

"Nope! He goes to his house every other week, so this is normal."

"Oh, okay…"

"So you'll come at 8?"

"Make that 9. Ichiru and I will need sleep after making this cake."

His eyes got huge. "You're making the cake? _For me?_"

"Sure, why not? I haven't made a cake in a while." Plus cake baking + chocolate + strawberries +snitching, which therefore = a very happy Kotone! (Happy as in pleased, not as in sugar induced super-crazy-happy-uuber-lovey-cute-Kotone. Though it has happened before.)

He hugged me again, squeezing really tight this time. "Thank you soooooo much Koto-chan!" He pecked my check…in a nice, friend to friend kind of way. I blushed anyway. Apparently _someone_ or should I say two demon _someones_ didn't think so, because they fell out of their hiding place in the supply closet, holding a camera.

I rolled my eyes at the twins and grinned evilly at the two. "It's clobbering time*." I cracked my knuckles. They both turned white.

"Y-you wouldn't would you?" They were scrambling to untangle themselves from each other as I loomed closer.

"You're right I wouldn't," I said conversationally to them. "I've just always wanted to say that."

***I don't own TeamFourStar or Dragonball Z or Dragonball Z Abridged or Nappa or Fullmetal Alchemist or the Fantastic Four.**

**A/N: Real quick you guys, I want your opinion, do you want a cameo appearance of Shiro Takaoji the elementary school kid? If yes, it will be cool, but you won't see him for another 4 or 5 chapters…so take your pick and leave a comment!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I know I said I would post before 2011 but I didn't think it would be this late…I'M SORRY! I just wanted to let you all know that for Christmas…I GOT USA-CHAN! NO KIDDING! You can thank my very awesome sister for this awesome gift!**

My day had already involved being a furry, entertaining fangirls and guys, being carried by a mouse, denying the existence of cake, popping the monkey and the weasel (hah you get it? The song? Tripping? Nevermind…), meeting a giant's brother, meeting a midget's brother, pretending to be Jackie Chan on an alien's ass, and promising cake to a bunny.

To say I had a hectic day was an understatement. I was dead tired by the time I pulled into the driveway.

It was about to get worse.

There were twenty cars lined up going to the front door. There were photographers crowding around the door and our head butler Sasuke was opening car doors for beautiful women. Huh, poor Joey must be on valet duty. I'll bring him a sandwich after I-

Wait. One. DAMN. MINUTE.

Cars?

Paparazzi.?

Beautiful women?

Sandwiches for Joey and Sasuke?

HOLY SHIT MOM'S HAVING A PARTY!

Okay, WHAT THE HELL? When did she get back? And besides that, it's Tuesday! I have school tomorrow and I heard from Zakuro that she has a board of directors meeting at 8 am! (Well, that was for when she was in London but who cares!) What the hell is she thinking?

As I was processing all this mind-blowing shit, a car drove up behind me. _Shit! There goes my idea of fleeing the scene…_I had to follow the cars in front of me up to the door so Joey could take my car. As I handed him my keys, he gave me an apologetic face.

"What's wrong Joey?"

"You won't like it…it's a modeling party." Damn, that meant a lot of booze, snooty women, gay guys who called me 'unfabulous' and mom being in the center of it all. It was her element…thus it was my hell.

"This is gonna be a long night…"

His brow furrowed. "Well it gets worse. El Patron is pissed cuz you're home late."

"What? But I'm only 10-nevermind. I'll bring you and Sasuke a sandwich later okay?"

He tipped his hat at me and drove off with my car…my only means of escape…(I'm being serious here, I've tried climbing the fences before and they're too tall and slick.) The paparazzi were surprised to see me (short, random school girl who drives a Ferrari). But they immediately began taking an excessive amount of pictures of me. I just did what I always do, keep my head down and make a beeline for the stairs.

Except someone caught my on the arm. "Where do you think _you're_ going?" It was mom. Damnit I HATE it when she waits outside of doors.

"Uh…hello mom. I was going to go upstairs, so I could do my homework, then go to bed." Oh who am I kidding? It's louder than a shooting range in this place. There's no way I'd be able to sleep through all this.

"No."

"What?" Um, I'm seriously not allowed to go upstairs and do my homework?

"I said no. I need to introduce you to some friends. I've picked out an outfit for you, Ami will help you change." I sure as hell hoped it was better than what she was wearing, because she was garbed in a crotch-length white mini skirt, thigh high gold stilletos, and a metallic pink top that came down low…too low.

I bowed and hurried up the stairs to my room. Sure enough, on my bed was a freshly dry cleaned dress that was made for a prostitute. I swear the atrociousness of it almost blinded me. It was an orange, low-cut short, very fitted sequined _rag_. Oh boy, I've always wanted a rag*. Ami came out of my closet with matching shoes, looking very pained.

I returned the look. "You've got to be shitting me."

She sighed. "I wish I was, but unfortunately, _that_ is what she wanted you to wear."

"But I'll look like a whore! Worse I'll look like her!"

"I know! I know!" She grinned deviously. "That's why this dress is going to be 'mishandled'." She pulled out some scissors.

I grinned along with her, but then… "You do realize you will have to pay for the 'mishandling' of this dress?"

She smirked. "No I won't. Patron told me to send it to the dry cleaners, so I did. It came back 'damaged'."

"But won't that hurt the dry cleaners?"

"Nope. She doesn't know who cleaned them and she doesn't have the time to look up all the dry cleaners in Tokyo."

I smiled. "You Ami, are a genius."

"Thank you Miss." Carefully, she cut several of the sequins off in the torso area. It only needed to be a couple, enough that it would be obvious. While she saved the sequins, I hurried into my closet to find something to wear. I chose a short, fitted, spaghetti strap green dress with black lining (short as in three inches above the knee, not her crotch length horror). The dress flared out at the bottom with black tulle beneath it. I pulled out some black thigh high stockings that had small green bows on the top and got my black ankle boots. I put it all on and as a finishing touch, wore a black choker and put the top half of my hair up in a bun. I didn't use any make up.

"How do I look," I asked.

Ami smiled. "You look like a leprechaun from the mafia; badass but cute at the same time."

"That means she's gonna hate it."

"Miss, if I may say, you look a whole lot better now then in anything she would have picked out for you."

I hugged her. "Thanks Ami. Wish me luck." With that I rushed out the door and to the stairs. Whoa. This was ridiculous. It looked like mom invited the whole city, plus Hollywood, _plus_ New York! I could hear the DJ from the ballroom, but a lot of the guests were milling in the main hall. I scampered down the stairs and used the 'servant's door' to go down to the kitchens. There I found Ichiru in a tizzy.

"Crème puffs, éclairs, crab cakes, lobster tails, cocktail shrimp, THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE!" Mom apparently only gave him a one day notice. Just like the rest of us.

"Where's Rin, Zakuro and Sango?"

"Patron has them all tied up! Rin and Zakuro are serving food while Sango is taking coats." He was putting the crème in the puffs and éclairs.

"Taking coats? It's the middle of September!"

"I know, but you know how it is…it's all part of 'the look'," he said waving around a lobster. (I don't think it was dead yet…)

I opened the fridge. "You know, I really don't have anything against models or designers, but why the hell did mom have to make friends with the _worst ones_?" I pulled out some turkey, cheese and sourdough bread.

"You're guess is as good as mine. By the way what are you doing down here? Patron is gonna get pissed."

"I'm making sandwiches for Joey and Sasuke, so they can eat when traffic slows a little." The sandwiches were already on the griddle. "You're not gonna use the turkey or cheese right?"

He laughed. "Yeah right, I'd probably get fired faster than you can say 'carbohydrates'."

The sandwiches were done, so I put them in plastic baggies, grabbed them each a beer (they would need it, and my dad once told me they can hold their liquor), and sprinted out to them. I gave them both to Joey who hugged me, then rushed back inside, toward the food table. (I wasn't thinking. Why I didn't make a sandwich for myself is beyond me…I sorta forgot.) I glanced at the incredible spread and wrinkled my nose. Don't get me wrong, I love Ichiru's cooking and I'm not a picky eater, but I'm not up for eating low protein escargot, fat free salmon, and 0 calorie salads. Even the crème puffs Ichiru was making would be lactose free, nil calorie blandness.

Ichiru hates these parties the most, because he has to make/bake/order a ton of special rabbit food and turn it into foreign delicacies. _HE_ even hates his cooking when he caters mom's model parties. I guess blandness is an acquired taste, because the models were nibbling at it saying it was delicious. (Ichiru and I knew better. We know that the real secret to a delicious healthy dish is using real butter and no salt…but don't tell the models.)

Someone grabbed my arm. "Where. Have. You. _Been_?" It was mom. Shit. "What the _hell_ are you wearing?"

"Well, the dress came back from the cleaners damaged, so I chose this dress to wear." She was positively steaming. "It's by Prada. The shoes are Anne Klein." It was true…mom has a contract with both of them, so they send mom free products. Somehow they found out about me, so they started privately sending me products to test. I do it for free, and they get commercial feedback. Sometimes I get to keep the stuff too.

"Whatever," she said. "I want you to come with me. You must meet my friends." She positively dragged me to a group of 7 or 8 women whose waists were miniscule. Damnit I knew what was about to go down. Mom would introduce me to them (as a 'special friend', she doesn't want people to guess at her age) and then encourage me to network with them…which would be great in any normal situation…except I was here as an accessory to her party. Any numbers I get go immediately to her.

She spoke in English. "Crystelle, Lizel, Amy, Isabella, Shayla, Marisol, Alix, meet Sirena (huh?) she is a new model. Sirena, meet my dear friends who work with me on Victoria's Secret and Venus photo shoots."

Sirena? _Really?_ Sirena is my middle name, mom picked it out…thus she prefers to call me that whenever she introduces me. I don't mind my middle name, but my first name is _Kotone_. It would be nice if she called me that sometime…

Anyway I bowed politely to all of them saying, "It's nice to meet you," in perfect English. Mom discreetly pinched my arm for the bow (it's a habit now, but I guess she found it offensive), so I stood straight and shook their hands firmly. They barely held my hand as I shook theirs.

"Sirena, is it? Where are you from," asked Amy, sipping her drink and slurring her words.

"I-"

"She's from Mexico," Mom answered. WHAT? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

"Who do you work for," Lizel asked.

"I-"

"Why don't we get her a drink so she loosens up," Mom suggested…wait WHAT? I don't drink! I have school! She called Zakuro over.

"Get her a Bloody Mary." Zakuro's mouth dropped open, but she said, "right away ma'am." She came back within twenty seconds with…

"She didn't order a strawberry daiquiri." Zakuro, I LOVE YOU! Not only did she save my ass, but she totally knew that virgin daiquiris are my favorite! "Take it back, she doesn't want it."

I quickly stepped forward, took it off the tray, and took a sip. "Oh, it's fine, I like these better anyway." Sweet, it wasn't spiked. Mom's smile was forced, but she let it pass. I was so grateful for the drink…it was the only thing I ate today since lunch. (Sips of milk in front of screaming fanboys doesn't count. And I ate the strawberry chunks is what I meant.)

While they were talking about bikini waxes and male models (they forgot about me) I tried to wave Zakuro or Sango to come over so I could get some food, but they were getting swamped by dieting models. I tried to excuse myself, but mom kept me rooted to my spot, having her friends talk or dance with me. Plenty of her friends came and went, and each time, I was introduced as Sirena, a twenty-something, new model from Veracruz, Mexico. Apparently, _Sirena_ was invited to this party when she (mom) heard I was visiting Japan. She also apparently met me while on a business trip in Mexico, last year, where she saw me modeling some FABULOUS sunglasses by Gucci. My favorite brands were Fendi and Mark Jacobs (I like them yea, but I don't _wear_ them too often). I would be in Japan until next Monday and she never once introduced me as her daughter.

Around 2 am, I was _really_ beginning to get hungry and tired. Plus I still had some homework to do. I had tried several times before to leave, but mom was insistent that I meet one more model and one more friend. I had my fill, so when I saw a break in the conversation, I said to mom:

"Oh dear, I really ought to be going…I've got work at six tomorrow. It was such a pleasure to come." I kissed her cheeks (both sides like she preferred) just as a drunk male model slurred, "You comin' tomorrow?"

"Excuse me?" Coming where?

"Oh, I'm holding another party tomorrow and I insist you come." _Another one_? Why? I fully intended to decline, but she said, "I insist! I won't take no for an answer." That was code word for 'do it or else'.

I smiled innocently, like I was flustered and said, "Well, I don't have any other plans so I'll come. I need to be going now, bye!" I rushed toward the door faster than Cinderella and Speedy Gonzalez combined. I ran around to the side door in the house and into the kitchen. Ichiru was there doing the dishes.

"Want some help," I asked. The pile almost reached the ceiling.

He took one look at me and said, "Hell no. Go to your room Kotone-sama, I sent some dinner up."

I could have kissed him for relief, but I settled for a hug instead. I hurried up to my room where I found a very pissed Ami vacuuming something up and a warm dinner on a tray on my bed. I went to Ami first.

"What happened?" She gave me a look and she was _scary_.

"Romeo and Juliet came up an hour ago and seemed to think that your room would be an ideal place to…well yeah." I looked horrified. "They didn't touch your bed, but the guy threw up on the carpet. They were both wasted."

"Ugh, how did you get them out? How far in did they come?"

"Just about five feet in, luckily I just took up your dinner or else I wouldn't have noticed them come in here. I had to practically drag him out of your room and throw him down the stairs. The girl just followed him grinning like an idiot."

"Eww." I began to eat the sandwich that Ichiru sent up.

"You're telling me. I locked the rest of the doors on the second floor and disinfected the whole area they stepped, but the ass-pardon my language had _wine_! Took forever to get out!" She took several deep breaths to calm herself. "So how was it for you?"

As I inhaled my sandwich and changed into my pajamas I told her about the party. She was stunned, then said sadly, "I've got worse news than you having to go to another party tomorrow…she's holding one every day this week until Saturday night."

Oh. My. GOSH!

I was stunned and pissed. "Is she mental? Why the hell is she having so many parties?" I pulled out my homework.

"They're all themes. Tomorrow is designer day, Thursday is photographer day, Friday is birthday day, and we have to make three cakes for Louis Vitton, Mark Jacobs, AND Oscar de la Renta. Saturday is the grand finale and it's PACKED! We have over 800 guests RSVPing and counting! It's a black tie affair and only 'the best' are attending."

I almost cried…I'm going to all of these? Mom would expect me to! "I can't believe her."

"Neither can I."

I sighed. "Ami you can go to bed now, I'll take care of this."

She shook her head and took my tray and outfit. "No, I've got it. It needs to be dry cleaned anyway." She gave me another pained look. "Another thing that needs to be dry cleaned is um…your uniform. The guy threw up on it as I was trying to fix its button." Oh crap. "Do you have another uniform handy?"

"No…I ordered more but they haven't come in yet! Damnit. Don't worry about it, I'll figure it out." She apologized, bowed and left. I worked on my homework until 4 am. I finished it all luckily. I literally passed out on my bed, begging some sort of intervention to these parties.

***I STILL don't own LittleKuriboh. Or any of the brand names mentioned above, or the song 'Pop Goes the Weasel'. A/N: Oh and by popular demand (meaning like 3 of you) I WILL bring in Shiro Takahoji for one or two chapters. It will be fun. HAPPY NEW YEAR!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hi again! Yeah I know, Koto's mom is annoying and Hunny is cute. **

No such luck on the intervention. For the next three days, my schedule was wake up, school (they weren't happy about me wearing my Host uniform, but I didn't have anything else), Club (luckily there weren't any cosplays and I just had to serve stuff and act cute), change after everyone left, drive home, 'party' until she said I could go (often at 2 or 3 am), eat a light dinner, do the rest of my homework (I had been doing it during every free moment of school), THEN sleep. By Saturday, I was exhausted, but I did well not to let it show. I had to be sweet during the Club and polite to the models and designers or else Mom would eat me alive. She was already pissed at my wardrobe and how late I showed up to her stupid parties, I didn't need to give her another reason to get angry.

Saturday, I was dead tired and I almost fell asleep during class (again, if Mom found out, there would be hell). During lunch I managed to do all my homework for my morning classes and I only had a culinary class in the afternoon, so I could sleep as soon as mom let me go from her party and when I completed the cake for Hunny.

Oh Hunny. He had been giving me odd looks since Wednesday I think he and Mori were the only ones who suspected that I was lacking sleep, even though I hid it well. At Club that afternoon, I made a special effort to be perky and smiley. In the kitchen though, I stuck my iPod in my ear and blasted classic rock to wake me up. I don't drink coffee, so that would be as good as it got for me.

"Koto-chan, will you sit with me a minute?" Hunny was calling to me after I came out with his 3rd slice of cake. I sat down and prepared my ears for one of our 'acts'. (I called them that whenever he and I talked, because the girls went just as wild over us as they did for the twincest act.)

"The ladies wanted to take a picture of us together with Takashi, is that okay?"

"Sure Hunny-senpai, where do you want me to sit?"

"On Takashi's knee." I looked at Mori, and he twitched his eyebrow to show that he didn't mind. After several pictures (meaning around 500), I stood to go and felt lightheaded. I stumbled a little, and Mori grabbed my arm to steady me.

I looked at him with a cheesy anime grin to say that I was okay. I ignored his looked which blatantly said 'something's wrong'. I felt a tug on my skirt. I turned again and it was Hunny with his huge brown eyes.

"Koto-chan?"

"Did you need something Hunny-senpai?" I coughed a bit just then, but I smiled on innocently. He frowned, but shook his head and let go of my skirt. I quickly moved to the sanctuary of the kitchen.

Later when I was finished cleaning and I was sure everyone was gone, I changed into my outfit for that night. I was wearing a royal purple, hug-your-body, knee-length cocktail dress. The back came very low, but was covered half way up with black lace. Black lace also came a little above the bust of my dress, which was a little low for my liking, but it covered everything and it luckily had straps so I didn't mind too much. I wore black pumps and let my hair be.

I stepped out to an empty music room and grabbed my bag. I reached for it, when I realized I stepped on something. I looked down and saw Usa-chan. I picked him up and heard the doors bang open. I turned quickly and saw the entire Host Club standing in the doorway, staring at me.

I blushed furiously, and cuddled Usa-chan. (Partially because I was embarrassed, partially to cover myself a bit.) They all walked over until they were three feet from me. Haruhi spoke first. "Wow, Kotone. You look nice. Are you going somewhere?"

Kyoya answered her. "She's going to a party tonight, hosted by her mother." Damn that guy for knowing everything!

Tamaki was solemn. "Why are you going home in a cocktail dress?"

"Yeah," said the twins. "Especially one,"

"…which was made by Chanel…"

"…and shoes by Jimmy Choo."

"I can answer that," it was Hunny this time. "Tonight is the Grand Finale of five nights of partying. The attire tonight is black tie." He looked angry as he continued, "She has been partying until midnight or later under a false identity all because her mother said so." I stared at the floor, ashamed.

They all stared at Hunny, then at me. Tamaki took another step toward me. "Kotone, is this true?" I stared determinedly at the floor and nodded.

I took a deep breath to calm my mind and ended up having a small coughing fit. I stepped forward and handed Usa-chan to Hunny. "Here, you dropped him. I'll see you tomorrow." I stepped around him and started walking to the door. Hunny grabbed my hand gently.

"Don't go."

"What?"

"Don't go to the party." I turned to Hunny and my tunnel vision returned. I blacked out. I had a strange dream…it was the day dad died, dad was in the water and he had a cold hand on my forehead. He held my hand and was saying "wake up. Wake up Kotone!"

"Wake up Kotone!" I woke up, with tears in my eyes from my dream. Hunny was leaning over me. It was Hunny who was calling out to me and holding my hand. I had a cold compress on my head and Kyoya was checking my pulse on the hand Hunny wasn't holding. Hunny looked concerned and gently wiped my tears from my face, but pretended to make it look like he was checking my temperature.

I sat up despite Kyoya's protesting look. I took the compress off. "What happened," I asked Hunny.

"You passed out, Koto-chan. I caught you and carried you here, but you got kinda feverish."

"More than feverish, you have a temperature of 101. Your body has been under a lot of stress recently, you're dehydrated, you have a slight cough, and you've just about hit your breaking point. I suggest you go home and rest," Kyoya said. I shook my head. "No, I have to go to the party. My Mom expects me to."

Kyoya frowned. "Kotone, I really insist. I know this is important, but your immune system can't take it."

I pushed myself to my feet. "Thanks for that Kyoya, but I gotta go. I'm already late." I took another step forward and almost passed out again. Hunny caught my arm. I looked at him, but his hair covered his eyes.

"Takashi, will you grab her bag? Kyo-chan, will you make the call?" He shrugged off his jacket and put it over my shoulders, then he picked me up bridal style and proceeded to walk out of the Club room carrying me.

I was surprised to say the least. "Um…Hunny-senpai, will you put me down? I can walk."

"No." I blinked. His voice was low and serious. I didn't protest and let him carry me to the entrance of the school, then I said, "Okay Hunny-senpai, you can put me down now, I need to drive home."

"You're not going home." Again, his voice was low and serious.

"What? Why not?"

"I'm taking you home, to my house."

"WHAT?" Okay, I had a reason to be freaking out. Mom would be pissed that I skipped her party, stayed over with a guy, and didn't tell her about it. I was going to be SO grounded. This might mean she would throw out my casual clothes! I might be forced to take modeling classes or have to go to her photo shoots! I had to stop him.

"Hunny, please put me down, I need to get home! My mom won't be happy if I don't go!"

"Kyo-chan called your mom. She won't say no to him."

"But-"

"No buts Koto-chan." We both remained silent as he put me in his limo. He climbed in after me, and Mori (where did he come from?) entered on the other side. With all of us in the car, the driver left the school and headed for the Haninozuka mansion.

Hunny held onto my hand when we left the school and I sub-consciously put my head on his shoulder. I immediately began to drift off, when I heard my phone ring. Immediately my back became rigid and I scrambled to find my phone. Sure enough, caller ID told me that Hitler-reincarnated was calling.

"Hello?"

"_Kotone, why are you not here yet?_"

Shit! I thought Kyoya called! "Um…well I thought Kyoya-er…Ootori-kun called."

"He did, but I don't see why you can't come to one more party. The rest of us are completely fine, why do you feel the need to skip the Gran Finale?"

"Um…well, according to Ootori-kun, I'm not well, he says I have a temperature, that I've got a slight cough, and that I'm dehydrated."

"So? Just get a drink here and you'll be fine, I don't see what's so hard about it."

"Mom, Ootori-kun's family are doctors…I think-"

"Oh fine! Come home and go to bed then if you're _so sick_."

Did Kyoya not tell her? "Um…actually, a friend offered to let me stay over at their house." I could feel her about to blow.

"Ootori mentioned that to me. Care to explain why you can't come home to sleep?" She was seething.

_But I can bs this question_. "Well, they offered their home to me so you wouldn't have to worry about me and so Ichiru won't have to make me soup or take care of me." She couldn't argue there.

"Fine. But you better be on your BEST behavior and always say 'please' and 'thank you' and don't you dare be a burden to them. If I hear one bad thing from your host, your grounded. Got it?"

"Yes mother." She hung up, and I let out the breath I was holding. Hunny glared at the phone as though it was evil. He didn't say anything, but squeezed my hand a little. We arrived at the Haninozuka mansion and Hunny got out first. I would have walked but he again carried me into his house. Mori carried my bag in as far as the entrance way. He removed my shoes for me, said good-bye, then left. I meant to thank him when I heard a deep voice say;

"Well, what do we have here?" My cheeks flushed an even deeper red as I turned to see who it was. It was Hunny's dad, smirking at my face, in a black business suit. Gently Hunny set me on my feet and battled his father for two short minutes. His father won by a hair and they bowed to each other. I bowed slightly, conscious of my low-cut dress.

"Oto-san, you remember Suzuki Kotone our neighbor?"

"Isn't her mother is the one who has been throwing the parties?" Both of their faces darkened.

I bowed more, ashamed. "I'm so sorry about the noise, I had no idea they were disturbing you! Please accept my apology!" I felt their eyes on me. Then he said, "Let us talk in the living room."

We went in and once we were seated he asked me to explain what happened. I told him about her coming home early and how I was forced to be there, though I made it sound like I was there for business purposes and not for my own torture. I told him about how I almost fainted and that's where Hunny interjected;

"Oto-san it was not her fault for the party, she isn't responsible for her mother's actions."

He nodded. "I agree Mitskuni, thus you brought her here so she would have a quiet place to rest and get well?"

"Yes. She would have gone to the party, but even Ootori-kun asked her to rest."

"In that case, she _must_ stay the night." His mother was standing in the doorway wearing a casual kimono.

I stood and bowed to her, saying, "I don't want to intrude on you-"

"Nonsense, you are not disturbing us! I insist you stay the night, it is impossible for you to rest in a house holding a party."

I smiled. "Thank you Haninozuka-san." I attempted to bow again, but I swayed unsteadily on my feet. Hunny jumped forward and gently placed one hand on my arm and one on my waist to steady me. He picked me up gently. "I'll take her to the guest room near mine." They nodded and he left with me in his arms.

He went down a hallway and up some stairs to a guest room. The room was painted a sage green and the four-poster bed had a bedspread decorated with blooming sakura. There was a window which (from my position in Hunny's arms) had a spectacular view of their Japanese-style garden. The room had a wardrobe (which probably housed a television) and there was a small sitting area, plus a small walk in closet and a bathroom. Nice.

Hunny carefully placed me down on the bed and went over to the drawers in the wardrobe. He pulled out some pajamas and placed them on the bed next to me. He kneeled on the floor next to the bed and placed his head on the bedspread, looking at me worriedly.

"What's up Mitskuni?"

"This afternoon, when you were unconscious…you were crying. Why were you crying Koto-chan?"

Oh. "…I dreamed of the day my dad died…he was trying to wake me up…but I somehow knew if I woke, he would die…" Tears formed in my eyes remembering the awful dream. Hunny carefully took my hand and kissed it. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok," I said. I wiped my tears with my other hand. We were silent for a minute until Hunny decided to leave, telling me he would be back with some soup for both of us. When he left, I changed into some (too-big, fluffy, pink) pajamas. Ooo they felt nice. I snuggled into the bed when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," I said. It was a butler with a HUGE tray of food. Hunny was behind him in his pink pajamas, carrying Usa-chan. He climbed onto the bed, and sat on top of the covers, next to me. The butler gave us HUGE bowls of ramen (LOVE RAMEN!) and a small bowl of rice each. There was a cake too, (hence the huge platter) as well as some tea. We were both hungry (I blame the twins) and practically scarfed our food down. It was yummy…

Anyway, Hunny had some cake afterward. He offered me some, but I wasn't feeling the cake, I was just exhausted. I think Hunny got the hint, because when he was finished, he hopped off the bed (leaving Usa-chan to 'protect' me) and told me to "get some rest".

For the first time in the entire week, I slept soundly.

**A/N: So how many of you have seen BOTH Fullmetal Alchemist series? Leave a comment!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Sorry people, I had to upload chapter 13 up again cuz I forgot the disclaimers at the bottom (just look for the astericks). By the way, apparently people like FMA, well so do I! I have the alchemist pocket watch actually…again my sister is awesome.**

I woke up on Sunday morning feeling completely better. I looked at the alarm clock and was shocked. "Six a.m.? Jeez I must be sicker than Kyoya thought to have woken up _this_ early!"

There was a knock on the door and Hunny poked his head in.

"Koto-chan? Are you awake?" I smiled and sat up. He smiled and ran to hug me. When he finally released me from his vice-like hug, he asked, "How are you feeling now Koto-chan?"

"A lot better, thanks Hunny." He grinned as a butler knocked on the open door. "I called for breakfast, I hope you're-"

"Yoru-chan?" I froze. _The last time someone called me that was before dad died, and it was…_I looked at the source of the voice. It was the butler.

"Nowaki?"

"Kotone-sama!" He rushed forward with the tray, set it down on the table, and hugged me. I hugged him back, crying. This was the man who saved my life. He released me from his hug and smiled at me. Nowaki was a tall Japanese man in his mid-thirties, dedicated to my father. He was wearing the Haninozuka uniform of a dull green kimono.

"Yoru-chan I thought I'd never see you again. How are you?"

"I'm fine Nowaki, what are you doing here? I thought you were still in the States working!"

"No, I decided to return to Japan to be closer to my sister's family and I ended up finding work here! What about you Yoru-chan how have you been? How is school? How is Hi-"

I shushed him a second, looking over at Hunny, who had a blank look on his face. _Yeah, I should probably explain things to him…_

"You know each other?" Hunny asked curiously.

I nodded, tears still in my eyes. "Mitskuni, this is the man who saved my life! The one I told you about!" Mitskuni's eyes grew wide and he smiled hugely. "Really? Wow that's so cool!"

I nodded. "Sorry for shushing you Nowaki, I'm doing okay, school is school, but I'm in a Club with Mitskuni, I still dance in my spare time and this spring I'm taking the Olsen* out."

He smiled widely, happy for me. "Erm…how is Jimena-sama?"

Again, Hunny blinked his huge brown eyes (in an insanely moe-inducing manner) and asked, "Who is Jimena-sama? And why does Nowaki-chan call you Yoru-chan, Koto-chan?"

I smiled. "Yoru is kind of an inside joke. When I was born, all the servants expected me to take after my dad as far as looks. I mostly did, except for my skin tone. They called me Yoru, (which means dark or night) as a cute inside joke. It became massively popular to call me that after they learned it pissed off my mom but made my dad laugh. Also, it's the name of a cat character in a manga series my dad and I used to watch*. He always thought I was like a cat so he began calling me that too!"

Hunny giggled. "It's cute! I like that nickname a lot Koto-chan, but who is Jimena-sama?"

Our faces fell. "Oh…that's my mom. Jimena is her first name, it's Spanish. My dad actually came up with shortening her name to Hime because it was easier for him to say when he met her." I smiled thinking of dad. "He used to call her his Hime-sama. The servants called her Jimena-sama until dad died. Now they call her Patron, which means boss."

"Oh…yeah…" All our faces darkened thinking of her. _Ug she pisses me off…_I swear they were thinking the exact same thing. Nowaki stood. "I'd love to stay to talk Yoru-chan, but I need to get back to work." He smiled at me. "It was nice seeing you again, I'll e-mail you." (I wasn't allowed any contact with him after dad died. Stupid I know, but there's my mom for you.) I hugged him and he left.

Hunny smiled. "It's so nice you found Nowaki-chan."

"Yeah…" He was smiling…in one of those ways where you _knew_ he was up to something. Wait…OH MI GOSH! "Mitskuni…did you…find…?"

He nodded. "Actually he applied for a job here, but when I saw his references, I knew we had to hire him." I glomped him. "OHTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!" Without thinking, I kissed both his cheeks. I paused, still holding his face in my hands. I was blushing madly, and his face resembled a strawberry.

At this point I realized _OH FUCK I JUST KISSED HIM!_ I turned really red then hid my hands behind my back, kinda wishing they would fall off…wait no, cuz then I wouldn't be able to play my harp, or make cake…wait cake?

CAKE! The solution to my problems!

"Uh…hey Mitskuni, wanna help me make that cake I promised you?"

He was still frozen in the semi-conscious state of holy-crap-what-just-happened.

"…Mitskuni?" No answer.

"Mitskuni?" Silence. Okay time for extreme measures.

I pointed behind his head. "HOLY COW IS THAT STRAWBERRY CAKE EATING USA-CHAN?"

He blinked. "What? Why are you yelling Koto-chan?" I fell over anime style…he seriously didn't hear that?

He leaned close to me. "You okay Koto-chan?"

"…yeah…so do you want to make a cake with me?"

His eyes grew super extra large. "REALLY? WE CAN MAKE A CAKE?"

I sat up. "Yup."

"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!" _Did…did he just squee?_ I didn't get a chance to contemplate this mind fuckery because he jumped off the bed, ran out of the room and came back in two seconds dressed in dark wash jeans, a green t-shirt over which he had a white zip-up hoodie. He wore Usa-chan slippers too. Then he threw something at my face.

I caught them, it was clothes. "Hurry up Koto-chan! I'm so excited! We're gonna make cake!"

He rushed out of the room. I looked at the clothes and I blushed a bit. They were his clothes, they smelled like him. I was a bit embarrassed about wearing them, but it was either these, or the dress I wore yesterday. So I put on the clothes and they all fit me surprisingly well, except the pants were a little baggy. I had on dark jeans, a white long-sleeved t-shirt which he gave me a black vest to wear over it. It was actually kinda cute.

I opened the door and he came back in to eat breakfast. Actually, we both practically scarfed our food so we could get started on the cake. We raced each other to the kitchen once we were done with our food and threw on some aprons. After several hours involving incidents of flour, sugar ("Mitskuni, you can't eat it all!") and chocolate ("Koto-chan you can't eat it all…") we ended up with a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and strawberries on top. Yummy.

We brought the cake into the garden to enjoy. I waited for him to try the first bite. He swallowed and smiled. "Koto-chan this is the best!"

I smiled. "You actually like it?"

He nodded. "This was my first time making a cake but it was really fun! And yummy!" I ate my slice (more like my quarter, who cares how much we take? It was just us two.) and wow was it good. I'm no baker or whatever but damn it was good.

Once we were finished, Hunny took me back to the kitchen and we went on another high speed tour, of his house this time. I was pulled along into all sorts of Japanese style rooms. It was a very pretty and proper house. I saw a couple maids as we ran past and they either gave us looks of disapproval or smiles. Whatever, I didn't care too much, we were having fun.

He even showed me his dojo. "Wow! This place is big!" It was really spacious, perfect for a good fight. If I was a fighter, I think this would be my favorite room in his house. But I'm not, so instead I did a couple leaps and spins, testing the floor. _Eh, not bad for dancing._ Hunny clapped and I did an overly-superfluous bow.

When he stopped clapping, he looked sad. "What's wrong Mitskuni?"

"It's almost 2 o'clock. I should take you back." I froze. Then I freaked.

"2 O'CLOCK? OHMIGOSH MY MOM'S GONNA FLIP!" Hunny's face darkened. "She will do no such thing." I wasn't so sure but we quickly packed up my school bag, my uniform, and my cocktail dress, thanked his parents politely, and called his limo. (Hunny lent me a pair of converse which I was wondering why he had…)

We drove to the front of my house and I was about to thank him and leave, but he wasn't there. There was a knock on my window, and Hunny opened the door for me to step out. "I'm coming with you," he said cheerfully grabbing my bags. I didn't see the point in arguing (well I was actually kinda glad for the back-up) so I took out my key and opened the door to the mansion.

"Oh shit." I knew mom had some classy friends, but it was her unclassy ones who had passed out in chairs and couches from either sheer exhaustion or too much booze. I took a step and slipped on some liquid which I hoped was water or cleaning solution. (Probably booze.) Hunny caught me thankfully and placed me on my feet. I thanked him and we quietly made our way to the stairs so I could put my stuff in my room. We had just made it upstairs when…

"Look whose feeling all better." It was mom, still in a short black Chanel dress, still drunk from the previous night. She looked fabulous but she smelled of alcohol. Ugh she's awful when she's hungover. She's like a Chihuahua/Pit bull mix on steroids who had a shot of espresso and Redbull*…who forgot how to sleep. Basically its veeeeery scary.

"Um…hi Mom. I'm feeling a lot better, yeah…" My body was saying calm, collected, and angelic but my head was saying _MISSION ABORT GET THE FUCK OUT!_

"What are you wearing? It's hideous." She stuck a cigarette in her teeth. (I kinda wanted to shove it…in a trashcan…yeah, we'll go with trashcan.) "That outfit shows your complete lack of style, go to your room and change, you look like a boy." _Wow, what a shocker seeing as I'm wearing BOYS CLOTHES! But I must say that my breasts disagree that I resemble a male._

Hunny stepped forward from behind me. "Hello Suzuki-san, how are you this afternoon?" She turned her head to look at him.

"Oh, it's the midget from next door…what are you doing here?" She did not just say that. I wish she didn't say that, but sadly, according to various accounts, she becomes exceedingly straightforward and blunt when she's drunk.

"Mom, that's the drink talking." I walked over to her and sure enough in her right shoulder, covered by her dress was her breathalyzer. She kept one around so that 'no one drove home drunk' or just as an excuse for them to stay the night.

"Blow mom." She did and I checked. And I almost fainted. _.16? What the hell has she been drinking?_ Hunny checked over my shoulder and his own eyes grew wide.

"Mom, with all due respect, I think you ought to go to bed and sleep this off."

"Shut up."

"Mom, this is not-"

"I SAID SHUT UP DAMN YOU!" My body tensed and my mouth glued shut as an automatic reaction. Hunny's eyes grew wider. "Now, about you not being at the party…I decided that your punishment will be your music. Take your harp, iPod, CDs, ballet shit and anything else musickish to the safe. NOW."

No. Please no. This was a new punishment…but damn this would hit hard. My music? All of it? Even my dance? No! This is what kept me sane, recently it kept me awake! No, please don't take this from me!

"No." I froze. It was Hunny who spoke.

She took a long drag from her cigarette. "And who are you to tell me what to do?"

He paused, then asked. "Suzuki-san…are you sleepy?"

"Yes."

He glanced at me, walked toward her and grabbed her shoulder. Immediately she passed out on top of Hunny. "...Mitskuni?"

He dragged her over to the nearest bedroom, which was a guest room. "I only pushed a pressure point, she can sleep off the alcohol from here. Don't worry, she won't remember any of this."

I was shaking…I didn't mean to, but she sincerely scared me. I can't defy her, I'm just too scared honestly and it wasn't how I was brought up. I ALWAYS obeyed mom and dad, and I felt guilty if I didn't. She just flaunted her full power in my face…and all I could do was ask her to calm down.

Hunny walked back toward me and immediately gave me a heart attack by gently enveloping me in a hug. "I'm sorry Koto-chan…I shouldn't have done that…it was too mean."

I hugged him back. "No it's okay, you were just looking out for me. Thanks." He rubbed my head gently. We stood there for several seconds until we heard:

"Well, what do we have here?" We both jumped and looked behind us.

"Oh…geez Ichiru don't scare us like that! Nearly gave me heart failure!"

He smiled. "Yeah, yeah. I wanted to tell you that you really ought to stay outta the house for now…the maids and I have some serious post-party clean-up to do."

I let go of Hunny. "Want me to help?"

"I would normally say no, and you would help anyway, but this time I'm saying HELL NO because even I don't know what's been done to this house. Where's el Patron anyway?"

"Mitskuni here knocked her out."

Ichiru's eyes grew wide with wonder and happiness. "You punched el Patron?"

He shook his head. "No, it's rude to punch people in their own house." _But knocking them out via pressure point is okay? Oh Hunny I love your logic._

"Well anyway, can you…I dunno…disappear for the next couple hours so we can clean?"

"You can come back to my house Koto-chan! You can spend the night again!"

"That'll work." Ichiru said. "I'll come up with something for el Patron, your car is still at Ouran since we've all been stuck in the kitchen cleaning _that_ mess up, but your uniform is back from the drycleaners."

"Oh boy." I said sarcastically. "Umm…I guess I could do that…if your parents don't mind."

"It's no problem! I already told them you would be staying until Monday!" _Anime sweatdrop. He did? How am I the last one to know?_

"Okay, now that that's all settled, you can grab your uniform and leave quickly…because until we're done cleaning…" He got all creepy. "…This house is condemned." I got the hint. I scurried into my room and packed all the essentials and went back to Hunny…who was quietly observing Ichiru's black aura.

I grabbed him, said good-bye and ran out the door with Hunny.

**A/N: I don't own Shugo Chara or White Collar (where Redbull espresso shots come from). Also, an 'Olsen' is a type of racing sailboat. About 20 feet long, 1 mast, mainsail, jib, and spinnaker enabled for those who care.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: OMGEEEEEEZ! Never thought this story would last this long and I've still got a million ideas for this! Okay, let it start!**

So I spent the night at Hunny's house again. It wasn't too bad and his parents were really great about it. Yasuchika _happened_ to have a project to do with Satoshi so it was just Hunny and I that evening. (PLUS HIS PARENTS! Geez I'm not _that_ irresponsible.)

The next day, the Club was waiting for us at the gates. Kyoya immediately sent me to the infirmary. (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I DON'T WANNA GO!) I went calmly. (…sure…) And they did a general check-up on me, (aww, Kyoya actually cares) then I went to class in my piss colored uniform.

At the Club that afternoon, we had a generic look-good-and-serve-tea day. I was sweet, Hunny was cute, Mori was silent (as usual), Tamaki was annoying, Kyoya wrote…something, Haruhi was naturally charming, and the twins were slightly yaoi-ish. Ah, just another normal day.

Afterwards, when Haruhi and I had finished cleaning, Tamaki called a meeting. "It's time to announce the cosplay theme for Halloween."

"Wait," I said. "It's still September! Why are we planning Halloween now?"

"Correction my darling neice! (Neice? Wtf since when am I related to him?) It is now the second to last week of September and we must plan for our Annual Halloween party!"

I perked up. Party? Halloween? YAY! I've never been to one! Seriously! We always had one of our own, but my dad and I reeeally wanted to have one of those crazy classic ones, bobbing for apples, cakes with hands coming out of them, punch that looked like blood, all that cool stuff. Mom of course was the party pooper…we had a party, but it was all prim and shit…you know, dress like Marie Antoinette, sexy maid costume for the maids (Zakuro wore fangs with hers…it looked badass.), NORMAL stuff. I hated it…so when _mom's_ party was over, she allowed my dad and I to have a mini party with the maids and other people. Ichiru made the food a couple days before and we all watched scary movies until we passed out in the home theatre. It was sooo much fun.

"Really? I'm in." Tamaki blinked, surprised (oo shocker) and continued. "Every year, we have a theme, last year was vampires, and the super amazing awesome theme for this year…is…"

doon Doon DOON! We looked over. Mori used a timpani for the sound effect…he seriously had one...right next to me. (WHERE DID HE COME FROM? AND HOW DID I NOT NOTICE?)

"Any way, the theme this year…is…" We all leaned forward a bit. "…I don't know." We all slumped over. Seriously? We even brought out the musical instruments and got excited! No fair!

"BUT! I have someone who does know!" He snapped his fingers and I heard a generator. The floor began to shake…THE APOCALYPSE? Then from the middle of the floor, a platform raised itself up and on top of it was a girl with light brown hair, a bow, and she wore…a Haruhi Suzumiya cosplay uniform*? Okay…can you say fangirl?

"Kotone, this is Renge Houshikugi, class 1-A. She is the manager of the Host Club, she helps us with some of our themes," Tamaki said, helping her down from her platform.

"Yes, thank you Tamaki-senpai for that introduction. I am…! [insert enthusiastic spin] The manager." [cricket cricket] She caught sight of me. She walked over and began inspecting me. She pointed at me, "YOU ARE PERFECT FOR THE PART OF FUMIKA FROM SHIGOFUMI*!"

Umm….wtf? "Uh, no that's okay…I'm Suzuki Kotone-"

"Class 1-B huh? Or have I missed seeing you in 1-A?" She gave me a cheesy smile.

"Um, actually I'm class 2-A with Kyoya and Tamaki…" She blinked.

"NO WAY! SO YOU'RE ANOTHER LOLI TYPE? Oh wow that works perfectly, your Club character can be an adorable sensitive girl who hangs out with Hunny-senpai, the mean bully from Class 3-A! And-"

"Renge?"

"Yes?"

"Um…I'll say this in otaku language so we both know what I'm saying." The twins' eyes grew large.

"She speaks her language?" I took a deep breath and said calmly:

"Renge, I'm not an anime character…I, like you am human." [Host Club gasp] "I'm not like Fumika, whoever that is, but if you wanted to describe me, label me as a sidekick in a shonen manga." Her eyes dawned comprehension. "I'm kinda like Rukia* because I'm short but pack a punch if you mess with me. And I'm kinda like Luffy* in the way that I can sail and I love the water…only I can swim. I do hang around Hunny-senpai, and like him I have a sweets complex which resembles Naruto's* affiliation to ramen. Around the customers, my character is like Tohru Honda* on steroids, you know like the cute, innocent, take-care-of-you type? I serve tea and help Haruhi clean. I also play the harp about as well as Mitsuki sings in Full Moon wo Sagashite*, or Ikuto in Shugo Chara* with his violin. I used to live in America*, though I doubt my character is anything like his except I like burgers, and that about ties up everything."

The Host Club was lost…they had no idea what I said. Renge nodded however. "I understand you perfectly!" We shook hands.

"Nice cosplay by the way."

"Thanks! Okay everyone, let's gather around so we can discuss Halloween!" Everyone carefully walked back to the table…still baffled by our confusing otaku speak.

"So, after researching for hours on a suitable theme that will best appeal to ALL the customers, this year's theme for our Halloween party is…" [Mori again played the timpani.]

"SAILOR MOON*!" No FUCKING WAY. She did a happy dance. The rest of the Hosts (except Haruhi who had no idea what that was) looked horrified. (Well, Mori's eyebrow twitched and Kyoya adjusted his glasses, but it still counts.)

"Renge?"

"I'll get all the measurements and we will begin constructing the costumes immediately!"

"Renge?"

"Of course only Kyoya could be Tuxedo Mask, and then that means I would have to be the lovely Sailor Moon. I-"

"RENGE!" She glanced at me. "As interesting as that is, you're forgetting that you are asking _guys_ to dress up as FEMALE superheros. Search deep within your fangirl self and I'm sure you know that this is NOT appealing to customers."

She blinked. Then her face fell. "Yeah…I guess cross-dressing is only for yaoi-fangirls…" She brightened, determined again. "Okay then! Our new theme is going to be-!"

_Please let it be something awesome!_ "Fullmetal Alchemist cosplay!"

**A/N: From here on out, beware of Fullmetal Alchemist character spoilers.**

I couldn't help but fist pump. "YES! SCORE!" I did a mental happy dance, then turned to the rest of the Club…

…who had completely clueless looks on their faces.

Tamaki broke the silence first. "Kotone, what is Fullmetal Alchemist?" Oh geeze how do I explain this… "Well, umm…"

"TO MY HOUSE!" Renge screamed. For the next couple hours, she lectured all of us on what Fullmetal Alchemist was and the series and the characters and anything else you could possibly want to know about them. We met up the next day to further discuss the theme (since no one really knew much about it). Everyone was given homework of watching the first 5 episodes. (Cinch for me, I already watched that series like 3 times, BOTH seasons.)

"So! Now is the pivotal point. We must choose…" She slapped down a pen and paper (which looked an awful lot like the one Kyoya used) on the table. "…who shall cosplay as who!"

Tamaki raised his hand enthusiastically. "OOoh! Since I'm the King of the Host Club, I recommend myself for the part of Edward Elric!"

Renge nodded in approval and began writing on the paper. "Um, Tamaki," I asked. "I have no problem with you being Ed, but…"

"Isn't he supposed to be short?" The twins finished for me.

"Well, yeah," I said. Tamaki returned to his emo corner.

Hikaru yawned. "In that case wouldn't Hunny-senpai be better for the part of Ed, since he's about the same height?"

From atop Mori's shoulders, Hunny called out, "No, that's okay Hika-chan! I already had my eye on another character."

Renge's head snapped up. "Ah-hah! I like your dedication Hunny-senpai! Who would you like to be?"

"I'd like to be Wrath from season 1. You know, the kid."

"You know Mitskuni, I think that would suit you, it would be completely opposite your character, but that would be really cool. Don't you think?"

I turned to Haruhi, who looked bored, who was also being molested by the twins, who were now staring at me.

"Did you just call him 'Mitskuni'" OH SHIT I DID! BAD KOTONE! Quick subject change…

"Um…Haruhi, who do you want to be?"

"I don't know. I've never done an anime themed dress up before…"

"Then you can be Winry, my darling daughter! Only you would be suitable as the female protagonist," Tamaki said WAY too enthusiastically.

She pushed her way away from the twins. "Who is Winry again," she asked me.

"She's Ed's childhood friend, whose also his mechanic for his automail arm. She's kinda a tomboy and she enjoys throwing wrenches at Tama-Edward…" I gave her a wink. She smiled slightly.

"Sure, I guess I could be Winry."

Hunny looked down at Mori. "Who do you want to be Takashi?"

His eyes swiveled up to meet Hunny's. "Colonel Mustang."

I snorted, smiling. "The Flame Alchemist?" He ghosted a smile and nodded. He knows the awesome! I inwardly giggled.

"That leaves Hikaru, Kaoru, Kotone-senpai and of course myself," Renge counted off.

Hikaru raised his hand. "Can I be Greed? I think he looks cool."

Renge shrugged and wrote it down. "That's good, but who would Kaoru be?"

"I did a bit of research, and I thought that I could be Envy, that way we can still do our twincest act in character and we would both be Homunculi."

"Very well! Then that only leaves Kotone and me!"

"Which characters are left? I'll be whoever so it works out even."

"Well we are still missing Al, but I think you're a little short to be him…you could be a Homunculus…OH! I KNOW! You would be perfect as Lust!"

No FUCKING WAY. "No." Renge blinked, as did the rest of the Club.

"Why not Koto-chan," asked Hunny.

"Because…she's…not really my character…"

"Well isn't that the point of doing a cosplay? You both look a lot alike," she said holding up a picture. The boys of the Host Club blinked.

"Wow, er…that's Lust," Tamaki asked, put off by the girls' Double D's.

"You see why I don't wanna play her?"

"Well someone HAS to be Lust," Renge wailed.

"Renge, if you're so determined that someone should be Lust, why don't YOU play her."

"Kotone-senpai, you wouldn't mind?"

"Nope."

"Oh good! Truthfully, I already have a costume for her, this is gonna be great!" _Wonderful! Have fun looking like a slut._ Don't get me wrong, I like Renge so far, but I don't feel like parading around in a Lust costume…ugh. "So who are you gonna be?"

I thought a second then grinned. "I'm gonna be Lieutenant Hawkeye."

The Club knew enough to fear me. Tamaki had already started crying. "My niece is gonna have a gun!"

"No I'm not! It'll be a water gun or something, I'm not gonna shoot anyone!" _Well, maybe the twins…_"Besides, my duty is to protect Colonel Mustang, that's all…"

Mori patted my head. "Please take care of me," he said with a small smile.

I grinned. "You mean protect you from Wrath whose gonna be on your shoulders the entire time."

"Ooh! Irony," said the twins. "We like it." They gave it two thumbs up.

Then it occurred to me…"Um…Hey Renge, can I see that list you made?"She nodded, still in her fangasm and I took it.

"Aww SHIT!" Renge stopped twirling, and looked positively horrified. The twins looked mildly surprised at my language, Haruhi raised her eyebrows, Hunny was daydreaming of cake (I think) Mori had covered Hunny's ears, Kyoya was adjusting his glasses, and Tamaki died.

"Kotone-senpai…what's wrong?" She looked scared. _YES OTAKU! YES! FEAR THE WRATH OF THE SHORT ONE! MWUAHAHAHA!...ahem._

"Renge, please have a seat…this may come as a shock." She sat down faster than I could say 'upholstery'. "Renge…" I said solemnly. "WE DO NOT HAVE AN ALPHONSE ELRIC!"

"WHAT? NO!" She burst into tears. "This is terrible, the cosplay is ruuuuuiiined!"

"Um…Koto-chan, what's the problem," Hunny asked, finally freeing his ears from Mori's grasp.

"We don't have anyone to play Ed's little brother…and he's got a pretty big part in the cosplay."

"Then why don't you do it Kotone? After all, you're the one who said you would play anyone," Kyoya said.

"Kyoya, I already have a part, and plus I'm not tall enough to pull off the 'empty suit of armor look'. You're not playing anyone, why don't you be Al?"

"I've already got a character picked out. I'm going to be the other main antagonist, Scar."

"The Ishvalan?" Wow, didn't see that coming, but hey, it kinda suits him…

"Hmm…this is a problem…" Tamaki said reincarnating himself. "We don't have any other Club members, is there anyone we could ask to play him?"

"I guess we could, but who? We need someone tall-ish…but not taller than Mori-senpai because the armor needs to look empty, someone with great mental discipline, and someone who is good at martial arts…how the hell are we gonna find someone like that?"

We all paused to ponder a second…then…Renge lost it.

"OH IT'S NO USE! WE SIMPLY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH PEOPLE TO DO THIS! WE HAVE FAILED! THE PARTY IS GOING TO BE A COMPLETE DISASTER! WE WILL NEVER RECOVER!" She blew her nose loudly in a handkerchief, then the door burst open.

"WILL YOU KEEP IT DOWN? WE CAN HEAR YOU ALL THE WAY FROM THE MIDDLE SCHOOL DOJO!" It was Yasuchika, the bastard coming to complain about something or another.

Wait…Yasuchika. Pause. Lightbulb*.

"Hey Yasuchika," I said walking toward him.

"What do you want you freaky alien genotype*?"

_I will ignore that statement…for now…_"Can you fight in armor?"

**A/N: *I don't own the Haruhi Suzumiya series, Shigofumi, Bleach, One Piece, Naruto, Fruits Basket, Full Moon wo Sagashite, Shugo Chara!, Hetalia, Sailor Moon or the Fullmetal Alchemist series.I also don't own Dispicable Me or TFS Dragonball Z Abridged.**

**Yes, this is gonna be good. But like I said, beware of Fullmetal Alchemist character spoilers. Also if you want explanations why who is who, leave a comment and I'll tell next chapter. BYEEE!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Again, beware of FMA (both seasons) spoilers. And out of curiosity, how many male reviewers do I have out there?**

"Can I _what_?"

"Can you fight in a suit of armor, it's a simple yes or no question," I said crossing my arms.

"Uhh…" He stared blankly at me, then caught sight of Hunny, who was playing with Usa-chan on Mori's shoulders. "Hold that thought, you freaky she-alien."

"XCUSE ME?" Too late. He had already started fighting with Hunny. It didn't last long…he got Chika in a headlock with a kunai to his throat, so he had to tap out. He walked back toward me and I gave him a classic NCIS* slap upside the head.

"OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"Respect your senpais. Be glad it's me slapping your head and not Satoshi." He had a blank look on his face. _HA! I win!_ "So…speaking of Satoshi, where is he? I thought he'd be here by…"

"YASUCHIKA!" Satoshi came plowing through the doors with his shinai held high. I was in front of his line of fire. I guess that's a dangerous spot because Mori grabbed me around the waist and put me on his other shoulder. Sure enough Satoshi didn't slow down and just barely missed Chika's head. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE HIGH SCHOOL DURING CLUB?"

"Satoshi." Geez, one word from Mori and that kid is at attention.

"Taka! What's up? Why aren't you Hosting today?" Tamaki appeared out of nowhere.

"Well! Today is a very important day! We are planning a huge event! We are-"

"Halloween Party." Tamaki could learn from Mori…anyway he returned to his corner to swirl his finger and look like a wounded panda…very sad…

"COOL! So that's why Yasuchika ran off so quick! What's this year's theme?"

"Who cares? It's probably really stupid anyway!" _Riiiight. Fullmetal Alchemist* is SOO stupid that they made two seasons of it plus a movie, OVAs, light novels, drama CDs, video games, and it has won several awards and has sold over 50 million copies AND it was listed as the 6__th__ best anime as of May 2010. Yeah yeah, try telling that to Hiromu Arakawa*. Or Funimation*. Or Vic Mignogna* . _

"Anyway, you didn't answer my question Yasuchika. Can you fight with armor or not?"

He crossed his arms and gave me 'a look' you know, the one he gives everyone when he gets pissed…pretentious little prick…"I'm a member of the Haninozuka family, even if I _haven't_ fought in armor before it would be easy to learn how."

I smirked. _Gotcha, right where I want you._ I crossed my arms, "I dunno, if you've never fought in armor before, I'm not sure you can, hell I dunno if you can even stand…I mean…I hear it is pretty complicated…"

He smirked. "Heh, nothing's too complicated for a Haninozuka." I smiled and patted Mori's shoulder to ask him to let me down. He kneeled and me and Hunny slid off his shoulders.

"Then I propose this; for the Club, we need a man in armor, a man who can fight in armor, and stand for long periods of time while looking impressive and we need him for the Halloween Party [insert cocky grin] think you can handle it?"

He smirked. "This'll be cake, I'll show you!"

I smiled. "Shake on it?" He didn't hesitate and gripped my hand firmly. Just in case I whipped out a piece of paper and speed wrote a contract I MEAN waiver. "Sign the waiver contract…unless you're scared."

He smirked, and pulled out a fountain pen (with a very Tamaki-meets-Light Yagami* flourish) "No way I'm scared, I'll fight in a suit of armor just you wait!" And he signed his name. Perfect. I pretended to look resigned. "Then I guess we have no choice, you're gonna play the part of Alphonse Elric in our Halloween Party Fullmetal Alchemist-themed cosplay!"

There were three very unique reactions to this:

1) Yasuchika looked horrified. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? COSPLAY?"

2) Satoshi cheered. "AWESOME! YOU GET TO BE IN FMA! THAT'S LIKE ONE OF THE COOLEST MANGAS EVER!"

3) Club was happy. The twins and Renge clapped, "Sweet, now we have one more character slot filled."

"There's no way I'm doing this, I agreed to fight in a suit of armor, not to be in one of your stupid Host Club fantasies. Deal's off." He began walking away.

"Not so fast Chika-chan…" Uh-oh…he angered Hunny. I took a look and HOLY CRAP THERE'S DEMON JUICE COMING OUT OF HIM! "Chika-chan, you pride yourself on being a Haninozuka right?"

Yasuchika wasn't put out by Hunny's demonic aura. "Yeah, so?"

"Isn't one of the principles of a Haninozuka to keep a promise? No matter what?"

"I DIDN'T PROMISE HER ANYTHING AND SHE TRICKED ME!"

"SHE DID NOT CHIKA-CHAN! She told you all you needed to know, going into the deal she TOLD you that you would be participating in the Host Club's Halloween Party! She TOLD you that you would be in a suit of armor and that you would be fighting. You're not required to become a Host or anything, but you're expected to uphold you're end of the bargain!"

"I don't have to do a thing! She can't make me and neither can you!"

Hunny smirked. Oh, this was gonna get ugly. "Then how about your pride as a man? You promised her to do this! You shook hands with her AND signed your name!" He grabbed the waiver from me. "This waiver states: (wait what did I write?) _I, Haninozuka Yasuchika acknowledge that I will be participating in the Host Club's Halloween Party at the Ouran High School Ballroom on the 31__st__ of October of this year. I acknowledge that my duty is to fight in a suit of armor and stand for the purpose of looking impressive during the time of the party. I further acknowledge that any injury or death that may occur to myself or caused by myself during the time of the party is solely my fault and is no way associated with the Ouran High School Host Club._ Signed by you Yasuchika. It's all there and the entire Club witnessed your signature." Damn I can speed write!

Yasuchika looked horrified. "You have no choice, she didn't fool you and it isn't fraud."

He sputtered. "But…cosplay…me?" He deflated, then rushed to the door. He turned back looking angry. "FINE! I'll do it because it's in my contract, BUT DON'T THINK YOU'VE WON YOU ALIENS!" He slammed the door.

I glanced over at Hunny, who still looked pissed. "Um…Hunny-senpai?"

He immediately brightened. "Yeah?"

"Er…I…um…"

"You don't have to apologize Koto-chan, you told him everything and he overreacted again. Besides, I think this will be a good opportunity for him to improve his fighting technique."

I nodded and was about to say something when I was glomped by Tamaki, who forgot that I'm not big enough to be glomped. (You have to be at 2 Hunnys or 1 Mori tall to be glomped by Tamaki.) I was barely standing. "OH KOTONE THAT WAS AMAZING HOW YOU CONVINCED HUNNY-SENPAI'S LITTLE BROTHER TO HELP US WITH OUR COSPLAY!"

The twins gave me a thumbs up. "Nice work." Can't breathe…

Renge was fighting back tears, "That was so amazing Kotone-senpai, you were just like Sailor Moon* the way you persevered over young Yasuchika, this is so cool I could eat three bowls of rice!" _Geez then eat the rice already if it will get you to SHUT UP AND HELP ME!_

"Can't breathe…" I guess only Mori heard me or something because he immediately picked me up by the scruff of my uniform (aww like a mama kitty) and pried Tamaki off me. FINALLY AIR!

Satoshi was in awe of Mori. "Whoa Takashi! That was so cool, the way you picked her up out of harms way, it's so noble of you."

I nodded. "Yeah, thanks Mori, that was a big help." He nodded mutely. Just then there was a tug on my sleeve. It was Satoshi. _Huh, when Mori holds me by the scruff of my neck, I'm actually eye-to-eye with the kid._ "Yeah?"

"Hey I was wondering…do you need anyone else for the cosplay? Are you doing all the homunculi?"

Renge came over. "Actually, that's something we all need to discuss. With me, Hikaru, Kaoru, and Hunny-senpai, that makes four Humunculi, it would be great if we could find enough pe-"

"ME! I'LL DO IT!" He raised his hand and bounced up and down. "I'LL BE A HUMUNCULUS! Which ones are left?"

Renge checked the list. "Pride, Sloth and…"

"Oh my gosh you could wear a fat suit and be Gluttony!" GAH! Wow wouldn't that be funny! Satoshi in a fat suit is almost as ridiculous as Yasuchika in a suit of armor, OH WAIT! We already did that.

"I'LL BE GLUTTONY! Can I please be Gluttony?" He clasped his hands under his chin and gave me Hunny eyes.

"Oh my gosh, PLEASE RENGE! He could even wear a bald cap!" GAH HE WOULD BE BALD! If I wasn't suspended in midair by Mori I would have totally died laughing on the floor. (I think the 'commoners' term is ROTFL.)

She blinked. "Yes, I think that will work."

"YES!" Satoshi and I high fived and I swung back and forth a little (I'm still suspended). "Now that just leaves two more people."

"Can we use Usa-chan for a homunculus," Hunny asked. "He could be Sloth from Brotherhood since he doesn't talk much."

Kyoya nodded. "The irony is good and I think the customers would enjoy seeing as many characters as possible."

Renge checked her list again. (Seriously those two have a lot in common concerning clipboards and lists.) "That leaves Pride, though his character (as well as Sloth's and Wrath's) differ between the first season and Brotherhood. Judging by Hunny's stature, we will use the Wrath from the first season and we'll use the Sloth from Brotherhood for the irony…so that means Pride could either be an aging man or…"

"An elementary-aged boy!" Tamaki was back and it looked like he had an idea. "I have just the person, FOLLOW ME EVERYONE!" _The way he said that and pointed his finger I was kinda expecting him to say "TO THE BUS!*"_

Mori finally put me down and Satoshi went back to whichever Club he was in now. We followed Tamaki into the Ouran Academy Elementary School (where the kids are the same size as Hunny and me) and into class 5-A. I didn't think there would be anyone there, but surprise! There was one boy picking up some of his things, brown hair, brown eyes, normal looking kid, but something told me that if Tamaki brought us to him then he was not even close to normal. Sure enough…

"Shiro."

He looked up, surprised then he saw Tamaki. "Oh, it's you." It was more of a statement then a rude remark, I think. He saw me. "Whose she? Is she a high schooler?"

"Yes, she helps from time to time and hosts with Hunny-senpai."

I bowed. "Hi, I'm Suzuki Kotone, 2-A."

He blinked. "I thought there were only guys in the Host Club. Are you dating Hunny-senpai or something?"

WHAT? NO! I blushed. Dating? Ugh, this is the only downside to hanging out with guys is that everyone else automatically assumes you're dating your best friend. AWKWARD! "Um, no. I just do a Lolita act when Kyoya nods his head or a guest asks. And I help Haruhi with the tea and stuff."

He nodded and Tamaki asked, "So how is Hina?"_Hm? Hina? A girl?_ I tapped Hunny's shoulder. "Whose Hina?" He whispered a two second oh-she's-the-girl-Shiro-chan-likes-and-he-came-to-Tama-chan-to-teach-him-how-to-impress-her-before-she-moved-away-to-Germany schpeal. Those two seconds were enough for Shiro's cheeks to turn slightly pink, but he tried to act cool.

"She's okay. We still e-mail and she's learning the Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven*."

Tamaki smiled gently. "When will you see her?" _Aww Tamaki has a soft spot._

He deliberately looked away as he adjusted his bag. "Around Christmas. She's coming to visit family. Anyway, why are you all here?"

Tamaki took a deep breath, "Would you be willing to help the Host Club's Halloween Party?"

Again he blinked. "Why would I want to do that, it's not like I'm apart of the Club or anything," he said matter-of-factly.

"Well, the simple reason is that we need one more man for our themed cosplay, and we thought with your personality and age you would be the perfect candidate for the part."

Shiro gave Tamaki a look. "Will you do it Shiro?"

"No. I'm not gonna dress up like a baby for the girls to squeal over, it's annoying." He started walking away.

I spoke up. "You aren't gonna be dressed like a baby! Pride is supposed to be elementary-school age anyway and he's cool!"

He turned. "Pride? What the heck is that supposed to be anyway?"

Renge went into wiki-otaku-mode. "He's one of the villains in the manga _Fullmetal Alchemist_, his name is Selim Bradley and he has the power to manipulate shadows."

Now we had his attention. "Wait, did you say _Fullmetal Alchemist_? Like with the short blonde kid and his suit of armor brother?"

"Yes indeed, have you heard about it," Tamaki asked.

Again Shiro blushed. "It's Hina's favorite manga. I just finished reading it."Aww, he may be tough but he's a real softie. This girl must be pretty special.

"So then you know about Pride and the other homunculi," I pressed. He nodded.

"Then you know he's nothing like a baby. His entire shadow power is like all the other Homunculi's powers combined."

"Yeah…he's pretty cool."

Tamaki took the opportunity. "So will you help us? It's only for several hours and if you like, we can send Hina a video."

"Video of what?"

"Of you playing the song 'Brothers' on the piano in your costume." Shiro actually brightened at that, then he got all tough again. "I'm not a monkey, I'm not gonna play for any other girl."

"Then we can film you playing before the party starts and have Tamaki play the song during the party," Kyoya said.

Tamaki smiled. "What do you say Shiro, will you do it?"

Shiro took a deep breath. "Okay fine I'll do it, but I'm gonna need that sheet music soon so I can practice." SWEET WE HAVE OURSELVES THE FINAL HOMUNCULUS!

Tamaki smiled and pulled out some sheet music from his blazer. "Here's the arrangement. If it's too hard, I can find an easier-"

"No this is fine," Shiro said. He started walking away, then turned around. "I'll see you all later, and can you try to make my costume look authentic?" _For your girlfriend._

The twins nodded and I said, "Well, that's the point of cosplay, but you're gonna have to wear a wig and possibly use make up for the mark Pride has on his forehead."

He huffed. "Whatever. I'm late for the Classical Music Club."

Perfect. We got everyone. Once he left I couldn't help but cheer a little. "AWESOME! We've got them all! This is gonna be so cool!" I was soooo excited.

**A/N: SO! Leave a review, yadda yadda.**

***I don't own NCIS, Hiromu Arakawa, Funimation, Vic Mignogna, Death Note, Sailor Moon, The Magic School Bus, Beethoven, or Brothers (the song). Hope you liked it!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I'm really sorry that I haven't updated recently, so guess what? I'm going to give you 2 chapters!**

I knew it was going to be difficult to plan a Halloween party, but HOLY CRAP we were busy! Every day after Club we planned. We came up with some cool stuff, like red banners with the Alchemist symbol on it, transmutation circles on the floor, all that cool stuff.

Two weeks after getting Shiro to help us, I was meeting up with the Club at the Hitachiin Mansion for a costume fitting. It was a Saturday afternoon thank goodness and mom was out-of-town until Tuesday. The Club knew this would be a lengthy er…'fitting' so the twins invited us all to dinner afterwards. After Club I followed the Hitachiin's limo to their house where a butler took my keys and drove my car to their garage. I was still wearing my Club uniform. (It's waaay more comfy than my normal uniform cuz it's less bulky. It's a pain in the ass to drive around in a tee length ballroom skirt.)

I walked into their house and wow…the interior decorating was amazing! The twins called me over to them. "What's up?" They held out a dry cleaning bag and a bag which probably held my accessories. (My wig, my shoes…yeah.)

"Here's your costume, you can go change in the dressing room to the right with Haruhi." I nodded and took the bag (and their house map) from them. I kinda resembled a mule with the amount of stuff I was carrying. (I brought my own bag.) After two minutes of staggering and scavenging I found a door labeled 'Ladies Dressing Room'. I knocked and went in the where I found Haruhi holding up her unveiled costume.

"Oh, Kotone, um…this is my costume…"

"Um…wow Haruhi, that's really er…short…" Her skirt, I could tell was waaaay too short for her stature, it would barely cover her butt, just by looking at it.

"I'm gonna take a guess and say that the twins designed this."

"Yeah, you're probably right, well anyway, what do you think I should do about it?"

"Oh! That was my fault, I'm so sorry. I knew it looked short but those boys must have altered the hemline. I'll have a talk with them later," a good natured woman came into the dressing room. She looked young and had short, spiky red hair like the twins. She introduced herself. "Hello, I am the twins mother." She bowed and we bowed back.

"It's nice to meet you Hitachiin-san, I am Suzuki Kotone."

"Ah yes, I've heard all about you from my sons, oh and it's nice to see you again Haruhi!"

"It's nice to see you too ma'am."

_Huh, she knows Haruhi…I wonder if she knows about her gender…_ "Well, if you would, please try your costumes on. I designed these myself, so they _should_ fit." She moved toward Haruhi, handing her something. "Also, I discovered that you have a slightly small chest Haruhi, so would you try on your outfit with this bra please?" HOLY CRAP SHE KNOWS! She winked at her. "I don't believe is hiding your assets but I'll make sure we do it in a classy way. Call me when you're ready!" And with that she waltzed out of the changing room.

"Wow, um…unusual lady…but she seems nice."

"She is. I've met her before, the twins introduced me as a girl, but I didn't think she'd notice…"

I smiled sneakily at her. "Well you're lacking too much in the pants to be a guy and a little too much in the bust NOT to be a guy…it's kinda hard NOT to notice."

Haruhi blinked, and smiled a little. "I guess you could put it that way." We quickly put on our costumes (Haruhi left her pants on) and I opened the dressing room door and saw Mrs. Hitachiin talking with a maid, when she saw me she immediately came over smiling. We re-entered the dressing room. Quickly and efficiently she began pinning our outfits.

"I saw pictures of the uniforms, but I have no idea how accurate they are, Kotone-san do they look like the real deal?" I smiled. "Yeah, they really do! Even down to the buckles, everything looks really authentic. All I need now are two pistols and a wrench, for Haruhi's character."

She looked surprised. "Harrui's char-ter caree a rench?" (She had two or three pins in her teeth.)

"Yeah. The women in this anime are a little neurotic. I'm a gun-happy dog lover and Haruhi is a mechanic who has a habit of throwing wrenches at Ed, well Tamaki." Mrs. Hitachiin blinked, then burst out laughing.

"OH MY GOSH! HA! Oh that is priceless, I need to see this anime…Ah that sounds like a funny sight." She wiped tears from her eyes and began pinning Haruhi. "Hmm, the outfits fit you both well, except for the skirt of course…Haruhi how long should the skirt be for the cosplay? Mid-thigh? Knee length?"

"Umm…" She looked at me.

"Around mid-thigh, but we need to be sure it covers everything." She nodded, pulled out her phone and called someone.

"Yes, Sawako? Mid-thigh." She snapped her phone shut and smiled. "It will be here in 10 minutes, in the meantime, why don't you show the rest of the Club your costumes?" With surprising physical persuasion (aka dragging us) we stepped out of the dressing room through a different door and she led us through a hallway and around a corner into the 'model room' she called it. Inside the room was a runway, a large mirror and theatre style seats enough for about 150 people. It kinda resembled my mom's runway except this runway was WAY longer.

I stepped onto it. "Wow Hitachiin-san, this is rather impressive."

She smiled then her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID. "Excuse me girls I have to take this, but please feel free to look around!" She left us alone, talking business with some client, I think. Dang she's busy…

"HARUHI!" I turned and ducked as Tamaki launched himself towards Haruhi. (Right where my head had been.) She took two steps to the left, saying, "Mori-senpai, Hunny-senpai, your costumes look amazing." Tamaki crashed into the curtains of the stage.

I went over and pulled him up. "Tamaki are you…HOLY SHIT IT'S EDWARD ELRIC!" I couldn't believe it. Tamaki SERIOUSLY looked like him. As I helped up, I noticed he was wearing the classic black shirt with a black jacket, black pants, black boots, white gloves, and the classic badass red overcoat. Oh gosh, Renge's gonna die of a fangasm.

"I take it I look like the main character," he said as he struck a pose.

"Hell yeah man! This is insane! You look just like him!" SO COOL!

"How do we look Kotone-senpai?" The twins popped out, one on each side, Hikaru right, Kaoru left. "Wow Hikaru, this is nice!" He wore black pants, black boots, black gloves, a black sleeveless turtleneck, and a black vest with fur on the collar. He looked like the real deal. "So you're the original Greed, very nice. And Kaoru, you look…" I giggled. "You're wearing a miniskirt."

"Yeah so?" Heh, can't really respond to that…he wore as well as the miniskirt, weird toe-less black socks, fingerless arm warmers that came to his forearm, and a sleeveless turtleneck like Greed's which cut off at the midriff.

"Aren't you cold?"

He shrugged. "Eh, not really." I was about to ask him something when I was glomped from behind by Hunny. (He's lighter than the others, my aching back can tell.)

"KOTO-CHAN!" He spun me around twice before letting go, the twins had gone to pester Haruhi and Tamaki.

"What do you think Koto-chan? Do I look like Wrath?"

"Umm…" Oh my gosh, I reeeeally wished that he didn't ask me that…cuz he not only looked like Wrath, but he looked hot, not cute like he normally does. He wore the same socks Kaoru did, black shorts, one arm warmer, and…the sleeveless cropped turtleneck…which showed off his abs very nicely. I felt myself blush. A lot. Oh come on! You would blush too if you saw a cute guy half naked!

"Well, you look…er…nice. You look really good Hunny-senpai." He smiled brightly and hugged me again, gently wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. (And trapping my arms at my side. Great.) I dunno why but I blushed deeper and my heart skipped a beat.

"Thanks Koto-chan, that means a lot from you." _It does?_ Just then…

"Mitskuni." Oh thank you everything that is good, it's Mori!

Hunny let go of me and scampered up Mori-senpai's arm to sit on his shoulder. The twins came over to look at his outfit. We looked exactly alike with our long-sleeved blue uniforms and boots except Mori wore gloves. "Wow Mori-senpai, your cosplay look exactly like Kotone-senpai's."

"Close, except he's two ranks higher than me, right Mori-senpai?"

"Yeah."

"He's two feet taller than you too," the twins said placing their elbows on my head.

I gave them a bright, sadistic smile. "And you know you need to move your elbows…like right now." They solemnly scooched two feet away from me.

"You know you can be as scary as Kyoya-senpai sometimes," the twins said in unison.

"I'm flattered," I said monotonously.

"What about me?" Everyone in the Club jumped and turned around guiltily. Kyoya stood in his cosplay looking…for lack of a better acronym totally OOC. He wore…oh wow…just wow. For starters, he wore a Egyptian style off-white long sleeve shirt over which he wore a rustic sunshiney overcoat like Ed's…I mean Tamaki. He wore black pants and black boots, and he looked like he could kill somebody…if he were Scar.

"So how does everyone like their costumes?" His aura was kinda creepy…

"Why aren't you wearing your skirt Haruhi," Tamaki wailed.

"Because it was too short on me," she said staring at the twins. They simply whistled and examined the ceiling. Tamaki looked heartbroken until there was a knock on the door and a maid came in.

"Excuse me, I have a clothes delivery for Haruhi?" In a flash Tamaki ran to the maid, thanked her ("My darling angel, you have saved the day with this delivery. How can we thank you?"), ran back to Haruhi with the package, and pushed her into the changing room.

"Go ahead and try that on Haruhi~!" To himself he giggled, "She's gonna look so cute!"

_Perv._ I meant to give Hunny an exasperated look, but he disappeared. Just then I felt two arms circle around my waist and someone gently pulled me into them. From the height I could tell it was Hunny. My eyes widened and I blushed. (BECAUSE IT TICKLED! I am a VERY ticklish person.)

"Um, Hunny-senpai? What are you doing?" _Great, now everyone in the Host Club is staring at us._

Hunny smiled innocently. "My stomach is getting chilly Koto-chan and you're reeeally warm." His arms tightened around me slightly. Tamaki looked stunned. The twins had evil grins plastered on their faces and I knew I would get hell from them later. Mori, disturbingly enough twitched his eyebrow AND his lips. Kyoya was scribbling away his pencil and all I could do was stand there and let Hunny pull me closer to his…small statured, very hot, partially BARE body. (EMBARASSING! Can I die now?)

"I think it fits well, but I'm no real expert on skirts, what do you think Kotone?" Haruhi walked in on our…silent/staring game. "What's going on?"

"Nothing Haruhi," I said quickly. "Here, _I'll_ [stare at the twins] check the skirt to see if it fits." At this statement, Hunny gently let me go. Just in case (he would hug me again) I began unbuttoning my jacket. "Here Hunny, you can wear this, it's pretty warm." Underneath I wore a black fitted short-sleeved turtleneck that I swear was _molded_ to my body.

He smiled and put it on as Haruhi and I went into the changing room (WITHOUT the twins or Tamaki) to check the skirt. "Oh yeah, this length is MUCH better." I pulled out a paper with Winry on it to compare. Her black skirt came mid-thigh and was pleated. She wore combat boots, a white tank and a black jacket to complete her ensemble. "Hmm, the length on you matches up with Winry's…is it too loose or tight on you?"

"No it feels fine, but why does it fit so short? It looked longer in the package."

I smirked a little. "That is because, despite what the twins say, you have hips and an ass. The skirt has to fit over _those_ you know." She smiled at my brash joke.

I surveyed her. "It looks really good on you…" She blinked…slowly. "You hate this don't you?"

She gave me an apologetic look. "Do I have to wear _this_ outfit? Isn't there another outfit she wears?"

"Well yeah, but…" I showed her a pic of Winry's work outfit, the purple jumpsuit…and the sports bra. Her eyes widened. "Sorry Haruhi, but in _that_ outfit, you're gonna have a really hard time convincing them you have a penis."

"But…I don't."

"Exactly! Can you twirl for me?"

"W-What? Why?"

"Cuz." She did a little twirl for me. "Okay, you're gonna need something underneath." Luckily I planned for this. I rummaged around in my purse. "Here, try these on under your skirt." She took the item from me, a little mystified.

"What's wrong?" They were just black shorts.

"They're…cotton."

"Yeah, is that a problem?"

"No…it's just that I didn't think…"

I smiled. "You didn't think I'd wear, what's Tamaki calls, a 'commoner cloth'?" Haruhi looked stunned. Then she and I burst out laughing.

Haruhi stopped laughing first. "I think I saw those shorts next to the _Quickmart_ near my house."

"Oh yeah! That's where I got them! I bought them for like 500 yen after I picked up some beef for Ichiru! You can keep them if they fit, I got the wrong size so they're too big…and-"

"Wait, you shop at _Quickmart_?"She looked flabbergasted.

"Well, yeah. My dad was smart about money and didn't import food or anything like that. Funny enough, the only exception was that he imported mangos for my mom when she was pregnant, but he ordered them off the net from some of his clients."

"Wow…I didn't think rich people shopped at _Quickmart_."

"Well not all of them, but I do…just don't tell my mom." She smiled and tried them on.

"Wow, these are nice."

"Cool! They're yours then. Oh, one last thing though…" I smiled mischievously and pulled out a cup. A football cup. Haruhi looked like she wanted to die of either laughing or embarrassment. "C'mon, you and I both know that these girls are smart, hence the shorts so they don't see your panties and the cup to make you…a dude."

She stared at me. "I didn't think of it like that, but it makes sense now that you think about it."

"Yeah, also because shorts beneath a skirt are comfy and cuz this is the HOST Club, the chances of you getting thrown around or some other odd occurrence are VERY high. And cuz it's…"

"HARUHIIIIIII! COME OUT NOW! DADDY WANTS TO SEE YOUR COSTUME!"

She and I exchanged looks. "Let's get this over with," she said.

We both walked out of the changing room to face the music, and boy was there music. The twins were elbowing Tamaki out of the way to see her first while Tamaki fought back with his camera. Kyoya was scribbling some notes and discreetly taking pictures with a disposable camera. Hunny was smiling and Mori looked like a wall.

Just then I heard a noise. A big, loud, machine-like, evil, oh-snap-something-big-is-happening, sound. It was Renge's machine platform which rose from the middle of the stage. She was decked out in her cosplay, and when I mean decked out, I mean hair, make-up, the works. The rest of us only wore our costumes, we planned on doing make up and wig run-thrus the day before the party for a time estimate.

Anyway, Renge came up laughing from her…hole…thing…"AHAHAHAHAHA! Finally, the time has come to become someone we are not, to embrace manga, to pay tribute to-"

"Um, Renge? No offense or anything, but why are you all dressed up, I thought we were only doing costumes." Wow! Tamaki was the one that spoke. And here I thought he was scared of her.

She hopped down from the platform (how she did that in a skin-tight strapless ankle dress with black boots and elbow length gloves is anyone's guess). "Tamaki, you have to understand as a girl I tried on the outfit, then realized that I _had_ to see what the entire outfit would look like together, it's just one of those things…" Haruhi and I glanced at each other. _Oookay, what's that make us? Cuz my double X chromosomes are telling me that we are indeed ladies as well…_

"Oh I almost forgot, I found these two fighting each other on their way to my platform (sweatdrop, wtf?) and I found the elementary schooler as well, so I brought them with me!" From inside the hole where the platform was, three boys emerged that instantly made my day; Satoshi and Yasuchika and Shiro. Satoshi was in a fat suit and looked like a big bouncy inflatable black ball* while Yasuchika was impersonating a medieval knight and Shiro looked like a mini congressman going to a funeral. I almost died of laughter. Shiro wore a white dress shirt with a black vest over it, grey dress shorts, white socks and black loafers. He looked grumpy. Yasuchika was in a perfect replica of Al's suit of armor and he was NOT very graceful in it. Satoshi…was in a fat suit that covered his entire body. He wore a black jumpsuit over it too and he waddled over to say hi to his big brother.

"Taka! What do you think? Isn't this costume weird?"

"Yeah." Mori's eyebrow twitched again. He was dying of laughter inside.

"AHAHAHA! Satoshi, how are you…ha! Even standing in that…thing!" I could barely breathe it was just too funny.

"I dunno," He said."Actually, it's pretty hard cuz the rest of this costume is pumped with air and stuff, so if I try and stand on one foot…" He did so. And he fell over.

The entire Club was laughing now, plus Satoshi. Then I had a funny idea. I began rolling him back and forth on his side. "And now let's roll this way! And now the other way!*"

"OHMIGOSH! THIS. IS. FUN! FASTER!" He looked so out of it but it was hilarious…until Yasuchika had to stand in Satoshi's way and block him from attempting to go down the runway. Damn.

"Aww, Yasuchika, you always have to spoil the fun," he said dizzily.

From inside the (real genuine, metal) armor, he yelled. "THIS IS NOT FUN! THIS IS PURE UNDENIABLE HELL!" Gosh the echoes from yelling must _seriously_ give him a headache.

Shiro rubbed his forehead, but I swear he said "Seconded." beneath his breath.

The twins (just to simply piss Chika off) knocked on the armor. "What was that Chika? We couldn't hear you, what did you say?" _Heehee, DO IT AGAIN!_

"ARGH! STOP BANGING ME!" _THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!_ He tried to punch the twins, but apparently the joints weren't oiled or something cuz he was super sluggish in his costume. "GET ME OUTTA HERE!" The twins began running around, Satoshi was twisting around trying to roll himself, Hunny was trying to remove the helmet, Mori was helping, Tamaki was taking pictures, and Kyoya was writing stuff down. Haruhi and I just stared at it all.

"HEY!" OUCH! Geez, when did Renge get a friggin megaphone? We all ceased our activity. "This interaction is great and all, but unless you haven't been pinned, I suggest you change so Hitachiin-san can make the final adjustments!" We all nodded and headed for the dressing rooms, as we had all been pinned. (Exception of Satoshi and Yasuchika, but their outfits were one size fits all.)

Hunny ran to me before going to change. "Here's your jacket Koto-chan! Thanks for letting me borrow it!" He handed it to me.

"No problem Hunny-senpai," He suddenly hugged me again. "Hunny-sen-?"

"I just wanted to tell you again that you look really cute in your costume Koto-chan."

I blushed and gently hugged him back. "T-thank you Hunny-senpai, so do you."

He gave me a final squeeze and walked back to the dressing room. I went back and changed quickly. Haruhi and I left our costumes in the dressing room (like the maid told us, where she came from is anyone's guess) then we met up with the rest of the Club to eat dinner. (Renge left to go to dinner with her father and Satoshi and Yasuchika left because the latter was being a prick and 'wanted to leave this place'. Shiro was picked up by his driver because he didn't want to deal with Tamaki.) We were just passing through the main hall when my phone went off. The Host Club stared at me, and for good reason. My ringtone was the song 'Lolita*'. Shit, it was mom! (Only she would pick out such a weird ringtone.)

"Hello?"

"_Where are you?"_ Why was she annoyed and why was she speaking Spanish? I could answer both those questions, 1) She's always mad at me. 2) It's so no one else around or Joey will eavesdrop on our conversation, which was a pretty stupid precaution because Joey told me he minored in Spanish in college.

I replied back in Japanese…I didn't know whether or not I wanted the Host Club to hear the conversation. (Like it would matter, they were all surrounding me anyway asking who it was.) "I'm at a classmate's house, the staff (what she calls 'servants') knows where I am and Ichiru knows not to make dinner for me."

"_SPEAK IN SPANISH! Why did you not ask me for permission to go to this 'classmate's' house?"_ Really mom? She was supposed to be in friggin France, why the hell should I bother?

I spoke in Spanish now. "I'm sorry mom. I didn't ask…because I cleared it with the staff…and well, you're not here now…so-"

"_Don't give me those sappy excuses damn it! I'm your mother, and if you want to go somewhere you ask me, is that clear?"_

A shiver ran up my spine. She was scaring me. "Yes mom."

"_I want you to go home right now, I'm back in the country and I'll meet with you after a quick business meeting. I expect you to have eaten and be dressed presentably for me and my guest when I'm back." _Click. Okay, WTF? WHEN DID SHE GET BACK?

Shit, that meant I couldn't stay for dinner. I put my phone away and looked at the Club…who pretended not to stare. I bowed. "Um…I'm really sorry you guys, but I have to go home now. Hikaru, Kaoru, can you please call the valet for me?"

The twins protested. "Aww, do you have to leave?"

"Yeah," I replied. Damn this sucks…I wanted to stay! I never get to do this sort of thing with friends!

"Why are you leaving so early," Tamaki asked. Hikaru snapped his phone shut. "Your car is on the way, what's up, you don't look like you want to leave."

"I don't…but my mom is back in the country."

Everyone looked surprised. Haruhi spoke first. "But I thought your mom was supposed to be gone until Tuesday."

"Yeah, she just called me and told me she's back and I need to be there before she comes back from some business meeting."

Just then the doorbell rang. Mrs. Hitachiin appeared at the door and excitedly opened the door before the butler had time to raise his pinky. "Jimena! Welcome! It's such a pleasure to be working with you again!" _Jimena?_

The entire Host Club looked around. I took a deep breath before I looked at Mrs. Hitachiin's guest. Sure enough…there was my mom, at the door in a blue dress with black boots and a black jacket. She took off her sunglasses slowly and stared at me.

"What are you doing here," she asked me.

Immediately I bowed. "Welcome back mom."

***Nigahiga owns big bouncy inflatable green ball, I got the idea from him. I don't own Hetalia Axis Powers, Lolita is the theme song for Ninas Mal and Belinda sings it. I don't own either of them. **

**Next chapter coming up. So, how many guys do we have reading this thing anyway? Review to tell me please!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Sooooo, how's everybody been? Yeah onto the chapter.**

Oh my gosh, WHY/HOW WAS SHE HERE? All these thoughts ran through my head as she walked slowly to me. I stepped forward so she wouldn't think I was 'hiding' behind my friends. She eyed my outfit (my Hosting uniform) with distaste. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm er…here with my classmates, as I said."

"Jimena," Ms. Hitachiin said slowly, "do you know this young lady?"

I bowed my head instinctively. "Yes, she is my daughter." I sneaked a glance at my Hostess and by the look on her face, she had no idea that my mom had children, let alone a husband. That's just like her, she doesn't let anyone know about me because I think she's secretly embarrassed about having a daughter like me. Even her Wikipedia* page doesn't have her birthday.

She eyed all the Hosts warily. "Will you introduce me," she asked almost pleasantly.

"Yes, this is Suoh Tamaki, Ootori Kyoya, Hitachiin Hikaru and Kaoru, Fujioka Haruhi, Morinozuka Takashi, and Haninozuka Mitskuni, you've met him." She smiled and bowed to them and the Club mirrored her gesture. Hunny's smile was forced and he gripped Usa-chan tightly.

She looked at Hunny and (fakely) smiled wider. "It's nice to see you again Mitskuni-san." She held out her hand for him to shake. Thank goodness Hunny is awesome/a Host because he took her hand gently and kissed it in a very Tamaki way saying, "No, it's an absolute pleasure to see you Suzuki-san, it's been too long." I think we all died. _SO SMOOTH! How did he lie so well and do it with a straight face!_

She came to me. "Kotone, mija, it's good to see you. I missed you." She hugged me, and whispered angrily in my ear, "You look ridiculous, _why are you here_?"

I pretended to smile and mumbled, "I'm just here with classmates…to study…and stuff…"

"We will discuss this later. Go home, change, and eat right now while I discuss my contract with Mrs. Hitachiin." She let me go and went with Mrs. Hitachiin, smiling like a fool.

I looked at them all. They all looked confused, but I had no time to explain. "Guys, I gotta go…I'll see you Monday."

"Where are you going Koto-chan," asked Hunny.

"Yeah, your mom's here, why do you need to leave," Tamaki interjected.

"She wants me to go home and eat, we're gonna have company. I'm really sorry you guys," I bowed and quickly walked to the door where the butler handed me my keys. I revved up my Ferrari and hit the gas. (Thank goodness for my excellent driving skills.) I called Ichiru.

"Hello, Suzuki Mansion, how may I-"

"ICHIRU! Thank goodness, when did she get back?"

"KAMI Kotone-sama that was loud!"

"Sorry Ichiru, I'm kinda freaking out right now…sorry."

"It's okay. She just got back about 2 hours ago and is making a bunch of visits to designers before she comes back to meet with an interior decorator. Ami has laid out an 'appropriate' outfit for you and your eating a banana shake and a chicken quesadilla with cucumbers on the side."

"Is she-"

"There is the _slight_ possibility of her inviting the guest for dessert and coffee, she wants you to eat so you will be full so you can't eat cake."

I laughed a little. "Yeah, like that'll work…"

"I know, but you're eating light cuz she asked me to make a tree tier white cake with chocolate fondant."

_Oh gosh I'm drooling, and my mom's logic is screwed._ "Whatcha putting on it? Any flowers or whatnot?" In addition to being our excellent chef, Ichiru is also freaking AWESOME at making cakes, jelly buns, flan, martinis, gosh this guy has it all.

"Hell if I know what to put on it, Patron only said to make it 'look pretty' so I need your help on this okay?"

HELL YEAH, I'M THERE! I made it back to my house in under 10 minutes (my house is 20 minutes away from the Hitachiin's) and Joey took the car for me while I rushed to the kitchen. I bolted down my dinner while staring at the chocolate cake.

"Patron wants no artificial ANYTHING in this cake…I had to use all raw ingredients to make this thing…so what would look 'natural' on a cake?"

"Something white, cuz then the guest will figure there's no artificial colors…how 'bout white roses? Roses are nature."

"Whatever works," Ichiru said as he frantically began making roses.

Next I zoomed upstairs where Ami helped me into…

"No." It was a backless long sleeved _pink_ dress that hugged my every curve until two inches beneath my butt.

"Hey it's better than the other stuff she could have come up with," Ami said helping me into it. I wore black pumps and black jewelry just cuz [it would piss her off]. Just as I finished examining myself in the mirror, I heard the front door open.

Rin barreled through my door. "Book it, they're here!" Poor Ami, my mom's gonna give her a heart attack someday. I rushed downstairs past Zakuro who gave me the thumbs up. (Pity she's mom's maid now…mom 'promoted' her the week of the Week of Parties.) I walked the rest of the way into the grand hall where mom was ushering a man in a suit. He was writing something down on a tiny notebook. He looked up when he heard me and eyed me critically. He gave an approving nod.

"This is her?" A Frenchman that spoke English…what's he doing here?

"Yes, this is Sirena." _Damnit THAT'S NOT MY NAME!_

I bowed (my mom fumed). "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr.-"

"Buttoux." I almost snorted. It took great restraint to quietly shake the hand he offered to me. "I am here to decorate."

Huh? "Decorate for what, if I might ask."

"For my Annual Halloween Party of course!" Oh. My. GOSH! I forgot about that, SHIT! How will I break this to her?

I took hold of mom's arm gently and asked Mr. Buttoux, "Excuse me sir, but may I please speak with Jimena alone for a minute?"

"No, say whatever you will, Mr. Buttoux is reliable."

"But, it is rather private…"

"He won't tell anyone."

_GEEZ WOMAN TAKE A HINT! Oh well, if she spazzes, it's her fucking problem._ "I won't be able to attend your Halloween party this year…I'm sorry but I have a prior engagement."

Her jaw dropped. "What?" Mr. Buttoux smirked and took some more notes.

"Care to explain _why_ you won't be attending?"

"I will be busy that entire day, so I won't be able to go, I'm sorry." She was gonna blow, I could see it. Instead though, she put on a fake smile for Mister Fancy-Decorator-Pants and said "Would you please excuse us for a minute?"

She didn't even _wait_ for an answer, she just grabbed me and dragged me into parlor. At least we could speak privately now. "WHAT is the meaning of this?"

I took a deep breath. "Mom, Halloween falls on a Saturday this year…I have school, and afterward the Club I attend is hosting a Halloween party for a large part of the school population." Well it was partially true, I mean we had over 75% of the girls coming and lots of the boys too, we had plenty of guests. And I would be 'hosting'.

"Well your Club is just going to have to miss you for that day because you are coming here after school."

"But mom, you don't need me for your party, they do. Besides, all the students there come from prestigious families and my interacting with them will be profitable! The Club itself is made up of well known families! The Haninozukas and Morinozukas are well known martial arts families, Ootori's father is the head of the Ootori Group which is all about medicine, Suoh's father runs the school and you already know about the Hitachiins!" She raised her eyebrow. She still wasn't convinced.

"All of the Club members…are they male?"

"Well…yes…"

"Why are you the only girl in that Club? It must look like a harem."

SHIT! Oh wait, I got this! "Because it is a very selective Club. We are lucky to have the number of members that we do, and no other girl is in the Club because none were qualified to except me." Yeah, that sounded good.

Her eyebrows raised. "Fine then. You may go. But I want you to text me on where you will be, I want to be updated on when you are leaving, the works."

Oh thank goodness. I smiled. "Yes mom, thank you very much." I bowed.

"Stop bowing, and when you come back I'll have a costume ready so you can join the party when you return."

"Yes mom. What is this year's theme?"

"Classic Mafia, like Al Capone."

"Does the Yuzaka count?"

"No, now stop asking silly questions, we need to get back to the decorator." Oh, I forgot about him… Anyway we went back and he began chatting about all these great ideas and things, when all of a sudden, he asked for my opinion. (Yes, this WAS a shocker.)

"I'd like to coordinate your costume with Miss Jimena's, what sort of costume do you believe would resemble the theme?"

"Oh, um…a gangster, or a gambler, federal agents, police, bootlegger…"

"Bootlegger," Mr. Buttoux asked.

"Um, never mind. I remember they were also involved in prostitution and running illegal strip clubs and the like."

Mom pretended to look thoughtful. "Hmm, I think I might go as the 'Boss' or mob head. What about you Sirena, what would you like to be?" I wasn't even thinking when I spoke.

"A hit man." They both stared at me.

"Well…it suits the theme. And normally they keep a hit man or bodyguard nearby the Boss just in case of attack." I'm spitting shit better than a rapper. No offense to rappers, I love them, but this is ridiculous.

Mr. Buttoux nodded. "I like it. So you Jimena are the sexy leader and you Sirena are the tough, tomboyish hit man!" He went on about it for what seemed like forever. Personally I didn't really care, all that mattered now was that I was allowed to go to the party. Thank goodness for that. Oh and the jackass was on a diet so he didn't eat the cake…but me and Ichiru did.

Two days before Halloween and we were busy _still_. Poor Haruhi had to learn how to throw a wrench, Kyoya had to order us all contact lenses and hired a make-up artist just to recreate his scar and tattoos, Tamaki practiced some short rants (I lent him some of mine) he had to get a metal cover for his arm and leg, the twins relearned how to be evil, Renge was practicing her 'Lust voice', Mori was becoming a pyromaniac, Hunny was practicing 'Wrath faces' in the mirror, Usa-chan was using the mirror effectively as well, Satoshi was talking to Yasuchika, who was ignoring him, and Shiro was just sitting, looking bored. We were waiting on the contact lenses and make-up artists so we could do a photo shoot. (Kyoya's idea. He thought it would be good profit.) There was a knock on the door. It was the photographers and the make-up artists. They got to work.

In one hour we were all dressed and made up, including wigs and shoes and whatnot. IT TOOK FOREVER! There was the general everyone shot, then the good guy shot, the bad guy shot, the Alchemist shot, the rival shot, the brothers shot (Ed and Al and Hunny and Chika and the twins), the lovers shot (Ed and Winry…I saw Haruhi actually finger that wrench a bit), individual shots, pair shots (like the twins again and Hunny and Mori) and finally, the Central shot (aka military peeps). I liked that one because it looked so odd. Mori and I stood back to back. I held up a prop gun (I tried to convince Kyoya to let me use a paintball gun…no luck.) and he adjusted his Alchemic gloves. There were serious shots, funny shots, it took so long! We all ended up using the cafeteria for a dinner break.

When we returned, we had to do the 'poll shots'. Kyoya had made up a survey-thingy of who the fans wanted to see together in a photo, so it would take a while. There were the fan pairings. Ugh, I would have felt bad for Haruhi, but the fans seemed to remember that I was a girl…so I was in plenty of unusual shots. (Funny enough, Renge wasn't requested though, to her dismay. But that's only because she's hardly at Club. And cuz who wants to pair Lust with anyone? Psycho bitch.) There was me (as Riza) and Roy, which was most popular. The fans requested a shot where I looked 'in control' (weird…) then a shot where Mori was 'in control'. But we had to keep it clean. For the first shot, we ended up having him sit in a chair, pretending to be asleep with his uniform overcoat ONLY open and me hugging him (lovingly) from behind. Cute, yet sensual. For Mori's shot, he was helping me clean up papers when our hands 'accidently touched'. I also did a girl power shot with Winry, a bad girl shot with Lust, a double kill shot for the twins (gosh that pose was epic…I was kneeling and I crossed my arms to shoot both on either side of me), I sat on Al's shoulders (he was obviously _thrilled_ about that), I sat on Gluttony's stomach (that was hard, since he kept rolling around), I hugged Sloth (aka Usa-chan), I had a staring contest with Shiro (easiest pic ever), I shot Scar for hugging me (that shot I was creeped out cuz KYOYA was touching me and I was dead scared that he would kill me) and I sat at a table while Ed helped me trace a transmutation circle.

"Geez, this is taking forever," I commented to Kyoya when I got a break.

"Just think, I was only going to hire one photographer, aren't you glad I hired three instead?" Couldn't argue there…

"Koto-chan! Your last shot is with me!" Yay! (SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS*…just kidding.) We stepped onto the forest set.

"Actually your last _shots,_ the ladies requested lots of pictures of you and Hunny-senpai, though it seems to us that you won't have any objections," the twins said. Oh go figure they would bring that part up…

The twins read off a list. "Number One, Riza shooting Wrath as he dodges."

"Okay," Hunny shouted. Without warning, he pounced on me and knocked me over. He was practically sitting on my stomach, but leaning forward slightly. Awkward.

"Hunny-senpai, you're supposed to _dodge_ me."

"Oh, sorry Koto-chan." He helped me up, and this time we got a good picture of me shooting, but him dodging by using my shoulder as a vault.

"Next is the hugging scene…" That one was easy, since we both gave cheesy grins and latched onto each other.

"And now is a comfort scene." We carefully put fake mud on Hunny and I cleaned him up as he 'cried'.

"And switch."

"Huh?"

"Now Hunny-senpai has to comfort Kotone-senpai."

"How is he supposed to do that?"

"Can you stage cry?"

"Not really, I've tried and it looks like I'm laughing hysterically."

"Here Koto-chan! Eat this candy!" Hunny handed me a piece of pink candy. Um…unexpected, but I ate it anyway. It was super chewy like caramel and it was hard to swallow, when I did, I began crying. It was sour! Like kick a puppy and punch a baby panda sour, IT WAS PAINFUL.

"Hunny-senpai! What is this, why did you give this to me?"

"So I could comfort you Koto-chan." He took my hand and kissed it to apologize, like he always does. He gently began wiping my tears with a handkerchief. The photographer was going mad. Renge was as well. (She was taking pictures for the Club's blog. $100 a week to subscribe, YIKES!) After that shot was done, I drank some water to neutralize the sourness. (That's what Hunny said, thank goodness it worked.)

"Okay, next is the tickle shot," the twins said. I sweat dropped. _Gosh I'm gonna shoot these fangirls, this is ridiculous!_

Hunny immediately began tickling my sides and I laughed loudly. I was able to pry him off me and began tickling his sides, which was really weird, cuz his wig kept getting in the way. We actually collapsed after several minutes from a tickle overload.

"Kotone-senpai for this shot, you take off your jacket and put it on Hunny."

"Why?"

"Because he's cold and because the fangirls asked for it that's why," Renge shouted triumphantly brandishing her camera.

"Renge can I speak with you a minute?" There was something I needed to tell her; STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKIN FANGIRL! Nah, I kid, but I seriously needed to tell her something. We walked a little away from the set.

"What is it Kotone-senpai?"

"Just wanted to say that your costume looks great, but your girls are almost showing and well I can see your bra." Her eyes bulged. "I have some double sided tape in my bag." She was gone before I could say another word.

I went back and took off my jacket. I carefully placed it on Hunny's shoulders who acted surprised, then smiled. Easy shot.

"The last request was a kiss."

"A _WHAT_?" The twins did NOT just say that! They were snickering madly. I'm not kissing him! I mean he's nice and all, but not for fangirls. "NO WAY. Photoshop me in or something but I will not kiss Hunny-senpai. No offense," I added to him.

"That's okay Koto-chan, we can still do the blush picture." Phew, good he wasn't mad. Wait, why was I stressing over this?

Whatever, back to the pictures. We both sat down on a bench. "How are you going to get me to-" slowly he leaned in and planted a kiss on my cheek. Yup, that would do it, my face turned bright red and I could feel my face being completely shocked. Renge was back in time to take a mad number of pictures. When he finally pulled away I felt a little giddy. I'll admit it, I never had a boyfriend, so the whole guy-kissing-my-cheek-thing (exception of gay men or Hispanics or Italians, cuz it's a greeting) was new to me.

I chanced a glance at the twins and they were giving each other _knowing_ glances. When they saw me looking at them, they said, "Switch! It's Hunny-senpai's turn to blush!"

"Okay, I need to see this sheet, NOW!" They handed me the page. Damnit, I thought they were making up all these pictures, but nope! They printed out a webpage where fans could make up their own suggestions for pictures, and the highest ranked ones (the ones that were 'liked' the most) were picked for pictures. Thank goodness they at least kept it clean.

Anyway, they waved me away saying, "Hop to it Koto-chan!" I walked back and sat on the bench next to Hunny.

"So…anything I can do to make you blush," I asked awkwardly.

He smiled cheerily. "I have no idea Koto-chan, I don't blush often."

"How 'bout a kiss," the twins suggested mischievously.

_Eh, I can't think of anything else, if I kiss his forehead that will look cute._ My heart beat a little faster. Hey, I don't do this often so I was feeling kinda embarrassed myself. Hunny obviously didn't see this coming, cuz he was still grinning.

I shrugged nonchalantly. (OMG VOCAB!) I scootched closer to Hunny, whose grin dimmed a little, now he looked surprised (meaning he looked like a teddy bear). I reached out and moved part of his wig behind his ear. (Renge was ready with her camera.) I rested the same hand on his shoulder. Slowly, kneeling on the bench, I reached up and planted a quick kiss on his forehead. My heart beat faster. _Ugh this is so embarrassing…heh I feel like Shikamaru, what a drag*…_

Cameras began flashing and I sat down to look at Hunny. Wow. His cheeks were BRIGHT RED and he looked stunned. I smiled at him. "Sorry, but I couldn't think of anything else."

He nodded dumbly saying, "That's okay Koto-chan."

"Okay, that was the last shot, you're free to get changed," Kyoya said, looking creepy in his Scar cosplay and his notebook. (Can you imagine if that was the Death Note*? We'd be FUCKED!)

I got up, rushed to the changing room and was back out in under 5 minutes. "All the stuff is folded and the wig is back on its stand, I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Wait," Tamaki shouted. "Where are you going?"

"Home for a fitting of my _other_ Halloween costume. SEE YA!"

Hunny waved enthusiastically and Mori stoically followed suit.

***Jimena doesn't have a Wikipedia page and I don't own Wikipedia, I don't own the song SHOTS, any pictures I said for the photo shoot I made up, sorry…, I don't own Naruto or Death Note.**

**Enjoy your week!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Okay, just so you guys know, cuz I felt genius when I did this. ALMOST ALL THE VOICES OF OHSHC MATCH UP WITH THE VOICES OF FMA. SAME VOICE ACTORS!**

**Tamaki - Vic Mignogna - Edward Elric (both seasons)**

**Haruhi - Caitlin Glass - Winry Rockbell (both seasons)**

**Kyoya - J. Michael Tantum - Scar (both seasons)**

**Hikaru - Todd Haberkorn - Ling Yao/Greed (Brotherhood only)**

**Mori - Travis Willingham - Roy Mustang (both seasons)**

**Hunny - Luci Christian - Wrath (first season only)**

**Yasuchika - Aaron Dismuke - Alphonse Elric**

**The rest I came up on my own:**

**Kaoru - (his voice actor plays someone else in Brotherhood) Envy**

**Renge - (her voice actor plays someone else in Brotherhood) Lust**

**Satoshi - Gluttony**

**Shiro Takaoji - Pride**

**Usa-chan - Sloth**

**Kotone - Riza Hawkeye (the voice actor of Riza was Éclair in OHSHC)**

**Yeah, I don't own any of these people and I'm updating on a Monday as my birthday gift to you…cuz it's my birthday. **

The dress fitting at home went better than I expected. Mrs. Hitachiin was designing the costumes (thank GOODNESS) so she made me into a classy hit man. I wore a classic black fedora, black gloves, suspenders, a white button up shirt in a twenties style, mid rise pleated, tapered brown pants (again twenties) and black spikey boots (moms idea, totally NOT twenties, but TOTALLY Jimmy Choos which cost WAAAAY to much). It was actually rather cool…anyway, the big show started two days later, on Halloween.

The school was freaking crazy that day! Decorations had been up for a week, but they were of course all classy and high end things (the candles were hand dipped from Egypt and the pumpkins were imported from Mexico). The school day went well…ish…

Tamaki kept trying to text me during class. Luckily my phone is on silent all the time. He pelted me with paper half way through English.

"Ouch, _what?_"

"Check your phone," he whispered oh-so-inconspicuously. _You couldn't just tell me now?_

I checked. Oh boy a text from Tamaki! Yayz and giggles!

_Txt Received: R u excited bout Halloween? ^_^_

Wow, really? He texted me about that? I texted him back,

_Txt Sent: Yes, but plz dont txt me in class Tamaki._

I thought that he wouldn't text me again, but this is Tamaki we're talking about. He did. He responded almost immediately to my text.

_Txt Received: Oops, srry Kotone. :'( 4giv me!_

He kept texting me the entire morning until lunch. As soon as the teacher left he jumped on my desk and sat there cross-legged. "Kotone, why didn't you answer my texts, they were very important~!"

"Sorry Tamaki, but I kinda needed to take notes since this _is_ school. I need to work hard or else-"

"KOTO-CHAN!" Ah, Hunny, I can always rely on his unpredictableness, in this case he was on Mori's left shoulder, the latter picked me up and put me on his right. Such normal greetings are these. "Come on Tama-chan, Kyo-chan! We're meeting up with Hika-chan and Kao-chan and Haru-chan for a picnic!"

"Ooh, that sounds fun!"

"Yup!" He pointed onward. "TAKASHI AWAY!" We went zero to 60 in 3.74 seconds, speeding outside to a Sakura tree, where the twins were already seated on a Persian rug that I assumed we were using as a picnic blanket. (SO EXPENSIVE!) Haruhi had her lunch and I had my bento. The rest of the Club apparently decided to bring a hot pot (I know, really portable.)

"So…what's up Haruhi?" I sat down in between her and Hunny.

"Nothing really, my dad wants to come to the party tonight."

"Is he?"

"No, he has to cover someone at the bar tonight."

"Ooh, he works at a bar?" Hey, bartenders have mad skills to make all those drinks! And waiters there have to put up with some serious shit. "Does he serve or bartend? What kind of bar is it?"

Tamaki spoke up. "He works at a tranny bar in the city outskirts!" Wow…that's unexpected. Haruhi blinked slowly. Then she began getting angry. "Tamaki, I could have told her that, you know it's really rude to give out other people's information!"

I only raised my eyebrows as a reaction. Anything else would have just been rude. "Oh. So does he bartend or serve?" Haruhi stopped yelling at Tamaki.

"Wait…you don't…mind?"

"Haruhi, it's really not my place to judge your dad. He's probably a really nice guy."

Haruhi smiled and I swear Tamaki went pale and said "He scares me…" Big surprise. This kid would get scared if I growled at him…heh I should try that sometime…

Anyway, we all had a really quick picnic. (Why we had one in the first place is beyond me.) Then we had to go to the ballroom to see how the decorations were going. We had guys working since the night before and it looked AWESOME! Like I said, transmutations circles on the floors, the tables were covered in white linen with centerpieces of jars filled with 'philosopher stones'. It looked just how we wanted, the only things we needed were the food, cake (cake had its own category cuz of Hunny…and I may have helped a bit), flowers, and of course, the cosplayers.

We went back to class and everyone kept staring at the Club members, looking really excited. Heck, I was excited, but of course I took my notes, paid attention and even raised my hand. (Goody fucking two-shoes.) I'm such a good student. (Riiiiight.) Anyway, the party started at 6, luckily Tamaki cancelled Hosting for that afternoon so we could all get ready. We had make-up and wig people come to help us again, and it took FOREVER. Even Usa-chan had his own hired help…come to think of it, he would need it most since he physically can't put on the suspenders and wig that Sloth wears.

Me and Haruhi had our own dressing room that Kyoya ordered for the evening, pretty much they were VERY thick curtains in a roughly 15x15 space. I loved the fact that we got colored contact lenses, firstly, cuz they are cool, and second because my eyes aren't light enough to be Hawkeye's. As my arm make-up was being finished (remember I'm a bit dark, so they decided to use an airbrush to give me a lighter skin tone…sorta like spray-on tan, but I don't turn orange) the make-up lady asked me an odd question.

"Miss, did you want the transmutation circle and scar on your back? It is part of the picture, but you won't be able to see it." _Huh, never thought of that._

"No, that's okay, just don't tell Tamaki."

"Don't tell Uncle what my dear niece?" Jeez, I thought moms only had radar hearing…

"Uh…I don't want to tell you how much fun we are having, we're having a real party in here! SOO much fun!" Haruhi giggled a little.

"Oh, well okay then, I'm off to get ready."

"Wait, Tamaki, real quick. I think you're short."

"Oh…well that's nice."

"No let me rephrase that. Ed, you're short."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE COULD GET MIXED UP WITH A GRAIN OF SAND AND CALL A SANDCASTLE A MANSION?"

"Very nice Tamaki, I've taught you well my young padawan*."

"What?"

"Never mind, uh…go change Tamaki, we don't have much time." If he said anything else, I tuned him out because the wig lady began tying my hair up so she could put on my wig. Finally, after another 15 minutes, Haruhi and I were finished.

"I'm not gonna lie…we look pretty damn awesome," I said. Haruhi cracked a smile.

"Yeah, we do look pretty good…but the twins are going to make fun of us you know."

I grinned evilly. "Oh no they won't. We are armed." I handed her the wrench and I holstered my cap guns.

"But these are fake."

"The twins don't have to know that." We walked out to the Host room and everyone who was cosplaying was already done. The plan was for a 'dramatic entrance' where we all enter from the top of the stairs and go down to the ballroom. We would begin the party with a bit of Hosting (in pairs thank goodness) until eight, then we would go solo and dance with the ladies and all that other fun stuff you do. The pairings were (carefully thought out by otakus…) Ed and Al (good luck Tamaki, Yasuckika looked thrilled at life) Mori and I would be together since we were both part of the military, Lust and Gluttony were always together (plus Satoshi is used to being around psychotic people), Greed and Envy would be together cuz that's how the fangirls wanted it, the only group of three would be Wrath, Sloth, and Pride (two lolis and a stuffed bunny=serious nosebleeds…Renge proved that. Plus Hunny's soul is impervious to emo and Shiro has to listen to Hunny or he really will become Wrath.), and finally Winry is with Scar. Yeah, it was poor irony but Haruhi is not scared of Kyoya, and if worse came to worse, she could hit him with a wrench. Fangirls would LOVE that.

Ten minutes before six, I set up the video camera for Shiro. The time difference was too funky to video chat with her, but this would be good.

"Okay, it's all set." He began fidgeting. "Your costume is fine, you look very evil."

"Are you sure? I feel like I'm forgetting something." [Still fidgeting.]

"Yeah, your head's missing. I'm kidding!" He almost believed me on that one. "Actually you're missing your sheet music."

"I don't need it, I memorized it."

"Then you're good." [Thumbs up. Record on.]

"Should I start?"

"You should probably say something to her first."

"Uh, yeah…like what?"

"Like 'hello Hina, happy Halloween, I'm helping the high schoolers, I'm Pride, I'm awesome, play the song and yeah."

He nodded. "Okay…um…hi Hina, happy Halloween. (he got all confident again…bloody tart) I decided to help the high schoolers with their yearly cosplay, this year the theme is Fullmetal Alchemist and I get to be Pride. And um, I learned that one song, 'Brothers' and I'm gonna play it for you." YES! TAKE ONE!

He played the song great, it was so pretty. He put a lot of emotion into it and he looked like he was having fun. When it ended, he said. "I hoped you liked it, I'll send you the sheet music so you can learn it too. Maybe we can play it when I see you at Christmas…anyway, I'll see you then." He gave the camera a genuine smile, and after a second of it, I turned off the camera.

He hopped off the piano bench. "One take and it's a wrap. Nice one, kid." I held out my hand and he high fived me. (Which surprised me, but his ego must have been ginormous at that time.) Then we went to work.

We all split up and the ladies were let in two minutes before 6. It was a masquerade/costume party, so everyone was dressed up, but none dressed in this years' theme, as it was considered poor taste. The boys of the school who had either been forced there by their girlfriends, there because of me, or because they were yaoi obsessed or gay came trickling in after all the girls. I was bouncing on my feet in excitement, the Club stood behind a curtain at the top of the stairs. It was pitch black which added to the whole 'ZOMG THIS IS GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN' effect. When they were all in, the lights dimmed and Tamaki's voice came over in surround sound.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to formally invite you to this year's Halloween party. And without further ado, welcome to our Fullmetal Alchemist themed Masquerade Ball!" The curtains swished open, the spotlights went on, and the ladies began clapping. Simultaneously we all walked part of the way down the stairs until we were all evenly spaced through the stairs.

"Ladies and gentlemen this is a rare sight to see, for we have through much effort compiled the main characters of this beloved manga." More claps.

"I, the Host King will be playing the Fullmetal Alchemist himself, Edward Elric!" He clapped his hands together and a rose appeared (which would never happen in the anime but it was cool nonetheless.) Once he announced us, we were supposed to strike a pose…how very Tamaki like…

"Playing the part of my little brother is Hunny-senpai's own brother. Yasuchika Haninozuka is our very own Alphonse Elric!" As instructed, Yasuchika took off his helmet, put in under his arm and bowed to the ladies. They all 'oohed', because it looked like there was no one in there. (Truthfully, we just made the suit big, so his eyes are roughly even with the collarbone on that suit of armor.)

"Our next character is played by Haruhi! He is portraying Ed's childhood friend (she wouldn't let him say 'love intrest') Winry Rockbell!" She crossed her arms and tapped her wrench on her arm. Aww, she's getting in character.

"And now, straight from Central himself, we have the Flame Alchemist, Roy Mustang played by Mori-senpai!" Mori was supposed to grin, but he stayed serious as he snapped his fingers. Immediately the candelabras around the room all lit themselves. I had to hold back my 'ooooh cooool'.

"Also from Central is the Colonel's loyal lieutenant, the gun wielding beauty, Riza Hawkeye, played by Kotone Suzuki!" My turn. I pulled out my guns and flipped them around, throwing them in the air before I shot a (plastic airsoft) pellet at a giant balloon on the ceiling. (We had to get waivers for this. So worth it.) It burst and out poured paper confetti with the Fuher's symbol on it (same as the pocket watch). The opening theme for the 1st Fullmetal Alchemist started up.

"Now we've come to our antagonists ladies and gentlemen! Representing the Ishvalan race is Kyoya, who has tonight become Scar!" He planted his right arm in the stairs and smoke appeared. He smirked and crossed his arms as the smoke cleared.

"And now our Homunculi! The first two are played by our lady manager, Renge Houshikugi and Mori's younger brother, Satoshi Morinozuka! Please welcome Lust and Greed!" Renge smiled evilly, flipped her hair and put her hands on her hips. Satoshi was awesome, pat him on the back. He hopped from one foot to another and stuck out his tongue. Sooo Gluttony.

"The Hitachiin twins are next! Hikaru and Kaoru will be playing the villains Greed and Envy respectively!" Hikaru pounded his 'iron' fists together and pointed over to Kaoru who was dressed as himself (as Kaoru I mean), then his façade melted off and viola! He was Envy. (Pretty much he wore a cloak which was painted to look like a Hitachiin, then used his 'powers' to turn into Envy. Cool stuff.)

"Now we have our final trio of Homunculi! To begin we have a guest from the elementary school! Please welcome Pride, otherwise known as Shiro Takaoji!" He smirked and shadows with red eyeballs (aka random parts moving across the lighting) surrounded him. A platform of the same stuff raised him a foot high, so it looked like he stood on shadows. Very commanding.

"And finally, we have Usa-chan playing Sloth, and last but not least, Hunny-senpai as the final Homunculus, Wrath!" The thing was with Hunny is that he couldn't get into character as much as he wanted to (or Renge wanted to rather) because his default is loli and, let's face it, the fangirls would kill the Host Club if he turned permanently badass…so we settled for letting him slide down the staircase and give the girls a HUGE grin as a finish.

"Now let the party begin," Tamaki sang into the mic. We all moved down the staircase and into our allotted 'entertainment circles.' Mori and I were inbetween Tamaki and Hunny's circles and across the hall I could barely make out the twins yaoi-ing it up. I wanted to watch the other groups more but these ladies were demanding."

"Um…Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

"Yes?"

"So are you together with the Colonel?" Stoic face Mori. Me, sweatdrop.

"No. My job is to protect the Colonel. That is my duty." They all squealed._ Geez, I mean how the fuck would I know if the mangaka wanted them to get together?_ After 10 more minutes, my mental quotes got more and more sarcastic.

"So is that a real gun?" _Yes, dumbshit and I would love to shoot you with it._

"How long were you in the military?" _666 years. Fuck off._

"Do you have the tattoo on your back?" _No, I didn't feel like stripping tonight SORRY._

"Whoa, is that uniform custom made?" _No, all cosplay comes perfectly made for 4' 11" shorties. I only had to take of 6 inches from the hemline, but what the hell._

"Can you do a quote for us?" Wow, this question was actually for Mori. Yeah right, like he would ever do a quote. I could see Hunny watching from the corner of his eye.

Surprisingly though, he stood up. He pulled his fists downward. "When I'm Fuher there will be changes." Oh my gosh, is he…?

His performance of the Colonel was perfect. "That day, all female officers will be required to wear TINY MINI SKIRTS!" Oh. My. Gosh. He did it.

Hunny and I glanced at each other, dumbfounded. Simultaneously we excused ourselves and ran out the room and up around the nearest corner where we collapsed in laughter!

"HAHA! Ohmigosh I can't believe he did that!" I wiped a tear from my eye.

"Me either, but that was so cool! Tiny mini skirts!" I laughed more, and Hunny held his side from laughing so hard.

"Ahah, I gotta give him credit. How he did that with a straight face is anyone's guess but that was pure gold."

"Takashi is really good at that stuff, but even I didn't know which lines he would memorize."

"You mean he picked that line to say for himself?"

Hunny giggled. "Yup."

I slumped back. "Ugh I got mind fucked twice." Hunny giggled more. When we were both relatively serious I began wiggling to get up. "C'mon we should get back."

"Okay." He jumped up, then helped me up. He began brushing off my shoulder where some dust was.

"Hold up, your wig's a bit messy." I moved a couple strands out of his face. When he was done, I smiled. "Better," I turned to look at the clock. "Uh-oh, we've been gone for about five minutes," I turned my head back to face him. "We should-" Cut off. By something soft.

Which would be Hunny's _lips_. I stared straight into his open eyes and we both looked (and felt) completely shocked. Crap, ohmigosh he's kissing me, and my hand is still fixing his hair! We both pulled back quickly, all I could do was stare and blush bright red.

"Koto-chan, I only meant to kiss your cheek, I'm so sorry," he looked afraid, and in his normal apology, he bowed and kissed my hand. "Koto-chan, I'm really sorry." I thought the hand kissing thing was for the fangirls to see, but apparently this is how he always apologizes. How can you be mad when he does this?

I pulled him into a hug, my way of apologizing. "Mitskuni, it was an accident it's okay, I promise." It's not like he intentionally kissed me…

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. "Thank you Koto-chan." We stood there a second then let go of each other. "We should get back, the guests will be waiting for us." I nodded and began walking back.

"Koto-chan?"

"Yeah?" I was caught off guard, how did he get so close so quickly? He stared straight into my eyes causing my heart to thump at an unusual tempo. _What is he doing? _His hand reached up and cupped my cheek and he slowly leaned in. I was paralyzed. Gently he pressed his lips briefly to my cheek, then he let go of me. My whole body was tingling and my cheek was burning up.

"There. This time I didn't miss!"

We walked into the ballroom and back to our guests.

***I don't own Star Wars or anything else.**

**YA THEY KISSED! Well I hope you enjoyed part 1 of the party! See ya later!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long since I updated, I've been super busy. BTW! My sister, Principessa Dell'Opera has written an Ouran fic called **_**Gratia Pena**_**. You should definitely check it out.**

Hunny and I went back into the room and took our seats. I was still a little mind fucked but I ignored the tingly feeling and conversed nicely with the guests. Not too long after me and a boy were discussing my pistols that Tamaki blew up.

Well not literally, but I heard, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MICROSCOPIC PEANUT WHOSE SMALLER THAN A BLADE OF GRASS?" The ladies tittered while Yasuchika in his suit of armor said, "Brother, they didn't mean it like that." Man, for someone who _really_ doesn't want to be here, he's doing a pretty good job of acting like worry-wart Al. That and his monotone voice seemed to match perfectly with his personality. (BUUUURN!)

Over where the twins were, they just kept to their yaoi routine while adding in some Fullmetal Alchemist terms…something about 'transmuting my heart' and 'you're more precious to me than any philosophers stone'. (Barf.) Kaoru was actually playing his part well because whenever the girls tried to get near, Kaoru would get 'envious' and latch onto Hikaru…who would 'greedily' hold onto him. Yup, they're hams.

Hunny looked like he was having fun, he was being cutesy, but would once in a while throw in some lines, "Don't eat _all_ my cake or you'll piss me off," and "I don't like it when people stare". The ladies thought it was cute, but I found it sort of disturbing. Honestly, he could kick their asses and there would be nothing they could do about it. Because he's awesome. Shiro was doing a great job of impersonating a cold rock. He would sit there and if he was asked a question, he would answer it cockily or rudely, then go back to brooding. In an odd way though, it worked…cuz if you think of it, he could be too 'proud' to talk to them… Anyway Usa-chan looked adorable, but Hunny would not surrender him to a lady, even for a second but I guess he didn't want anyone to ruin the costume or something…

Satoshi was clearly having fun. He alternated by making the girls laugh with ridiculous bouncing and rolling (my gosh I wanted to try that) and creeping them out by asking Renge if he could eat them. (Yeah eat the one that squees the loudest.) Renge stood with her arms accenting her boobs to the max. Most of the guys were there staring at her homunculus tattoo. (And her girls.) She tossed her hair and smiled and all that good stuff…she was quite the…er…scary bitch for lack of better word…

Kyoya had for once put away his laptop and notepad and was calmly and coolly (though not happily) answering the ladies questions…that's about as in-character as we could expect from him. Haruhi was doing her natural charm thing and it was working pretty well on the ladies. Once in a while she would tap the wrench against her leg or play with the 'automail parts' we gave her. That was my idea, they were actually mind puzzles that we made to look like parts. I also gave her dental tools. (KIDDING! Haha, why would I ever get near a dentist willingly? I hate their guts…freaking me out.)

Anyway, we conversed for a bit, then the 'big show' would start. As part of my/his 'contract' Al would fight in his suit of armor…he would fight Wrath. The deal was that they hadn't done their normal meet-and-greet 'Hello-I'll-Kick-Your-Ass' thing yet, so we put it off so the ladies could see.

"Koto-chan?" Hunny bounced over to me after the 'match' was announced.

"Who's this Koto-chan you speak of?"

"Oh…Lieutenant Hawkeye, will you look after Sloth for me?"

I smiled and gently took Usa-chan from him. I squeezed him (cuz it's fun). "Sure thing. Good luck."

Hunny hugged me. He whispered to me, "Take care of Usa-chan for me." He then proceeded to jump over to the big suit of armor.

"FINALLY! Let's get this started Mitskuni, I can't wait to beat you!" He threw a hard punch at Hunny who rolled through his legs to behind Yasuchika. The ladies were already squealing in excitement and I thought I saw Kyoya taking bets in the background. Yasuchika spun around and there was a bit of sparring. For being in such a huge suit of armor, Yasuchika was doing pretty well at fighting. Hunny was holding his own too, using his speed to outmatch his younger brother's scary strength. The ladies were crowded close together we were all getting jostled around, trying to get a good picture. I was stuck in between two tall girls, who were _obviously_ big fans. They were annoying, they kept pushing and shoving and after I tried wiggling out of there, the one on the right elbowed me in the face!

I fell forward onto the floor in the ring. "OUCH." I hit my funny bone…not fun. What happened next was worse. Hunny turned when he heard me. He lost concentration just as Yasuchika threw him a punch to his stomach. He literally flew about 5 feet before sliding to a stop.

"MITSKUNI!" I jumped up (bringing Usa-chan) and rushed over to him. DAMNIT he got WALLOPED! What if he hid his head? I slid next to him and gently placed my hand on his cheeck. (Where else was I supposed to put it? I needed to wake him up without shaking him!)

"Mitskuni are you okay?" He opened his eyes slowly, then they grew super-wide in fear. Before I had time to react, he rolled over on top of me in time to dodge an attack from Yasuchika, who ground-pounded the spot he had previously been laying. His body hovered over my torso. Holy crap he just saved my life from an anime character!

Yasuchika was revving up for another punch when Hunny threw up his hand and shouted, "CEASE!"

Yasuchika paused. "And the reason?"

"I don't want her to get hurt." The ladies sighed.

Yasuchika groaned in frustration. "Fine…but make it quick."

Hunny returned his attention to me…which was rather embarrassing seeing a he was still leaning over me…in front of half the school. In my peripheral I saw Tamaki cover Shiro's eyes. "Koto-chan are you all right?" His eyes searched my face for any cuts.

"I'm fine, the question is, are you okay? You just took that huge hit…" I slowly began sitting up. Oww…

He smiled, relieved. "I'm fine Koto-chan…I'm used to sparring like this." Okay now that's fucked up.

"Hunny-senpai, I-"

"I'm Wrath today, remember?" We heard a collective intake of breath and we both looked up. _ALL_ the fans were staring at us, boys and girls alike. The ladies were fighting back fangasms and the guys were boring holes through us. We glanced at each other, then at Kyoya. He eyed the room quickly, then nodded. Let's go to work.

I put a bit of hair behind his ear seriously. "Wrath then…I'm so sorry that I broke your concentration…if it wasn't for that, you wouldn't have got hit." I chanced a glance at his abs…they were a bit red from the punch (in all seriousness though, I was concerned). He noticed my staring and wrapped me in a hug a genuine let-me-comfort-you hug…which was no less awkward seeing as I was caught in between his legs, hugging me.

"Lieutenant, please don't blame yourself. I'm fine." He began rubbing the back of my head slowly. (Dang Hunny, keep this up and I'm gonna fall asleep.)

I still felt bad…really bad. I leaned my forehead on his shoulder and hugged back. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine." The ladies 'aww'ed.

"C'mon Mitskuni, I don't have all day!" _Oh fuck off Yasuchika, I'm talking to him!_

Hunny smiled though. He helped me up and escorted me to the side of the ring. "Will you look after Usa-chan for a little while longer?"

"Sure."

"This won't take long." He smiled at me, but this smile was different. He meant business.

He stood up and faced Yasuchika. "Match on."

Immediately, Yasuchika threw another punch at Hunny, who promptly flipped backward to dodge. Then he ran forward and jumped onto Yasuchika's shoulders. With a powerful kick, he knocked off the helmet. Then, he did the best K.O. I've ever seen. He plugged his ears and stuck his head into the empty space above Yasuchika's head and screamed. And I mean SCREAMED.

The vibrations were too much for the poor kid to handle in a suit of armor and he fell over on the ground, yelling "STOPITSTOPITSTOPIT!" Hunny pulled his head back out and stood up.

"Chika-chan, that was a really good fight, but you can't get up."

The armor seemed to deflate, and his voice echoed, "FINE! I surrender." That was the cue for the ladies to squeal.

"Yes! I knew you could do it Wrath!"

"Congratulations!"

"Wow, so cool!"

He grinned at the ladies, then walked back to me. I handed him Usa-chan and smiled. "That was pretty awesome…not gonna lie."

He smiled back. "Thanks." We all dispersed to dance and Yasuchika was taken to a spare room to be checked by a medic.

Immediately each Host (plus Renge) picked a partner and began to dance to a fast (but not contemporary) song. I moved toward the food table since no one asked me to dance. I was about to reach the table when this guy seemed to fall out of the sky in front of me. He wasn't wearing his mask anymore. He was sort of handsome, he looked like his nose was permanently stuck up and he had a cocky air about him.

"L-l-lieutenant Hawkeye?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you do me the honor of dancing with me?" You know, I probably would have danced with this guy if he hadn't looked back at his friends and winked. His friends were snickering and wagging their eyebrows…um…creepy?

"Um, no thank you…I..."

"What? But you need to!" He took my hand.

"Um sir, I don't need to do anything of the sort, now will you excuse me?" I tried to pull my hand away from him but he began squeezing. I started reaching for my gun.

"But you-"

"ACTUALLY, she's dancing with me, is that okay?" Satoshi. Oh my gosh kid I love you. He gave the guy a huge smile, grabbed his hand, and pulled it off of mine. (I swear I heard some crackling and the guy looked like he would cry.)

"C'mon Koto-senpai, let's dance!"

"Okay." We positioned ourselves to dance (which ended up being rather hard seeing as his stomach made for a funny dance position). I looked at him. "Thank you."

He grinned. "No problem!" Then he began twirling me around in time to the music. It ended up being a lot of fun, because we decided simultaneously that the easiest way to dance with each other in our costumes was to stick our butts out and cut a wide path in the dance floor. We laughed the entire time and when it was over, we both wandered to the tables. Waiters came and served us water.

"Heh, Satoshi that was fun."

"Yeah! You're a pretty good dancer!" Haha, it's not like he could tell with the way we were dancing.

"Meh, I enjoy it."

"Do you dance a lot?"

"Yeah, I've done dance since I was about three."

"Whoa, COOL, Hey! If you had fun dancing with me, then you should definitely dance with Takashi!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! He's pretty good, HEY TAKASHI!" _Wait, NOW?_

"Satoshi, you don't have to call him over!"

"Sure I do! I didn't know you were a dancer!" _That's right…only Hunny knows._ Mori wandered over with his partner, a pretty girl whose otaku level rivaled Renge's.

"Satoshi."

"Taka, you have to dance with Koto-senpai next! Get this, she's a DANCER!" Mori's right eyebrow moved almost imperceptivity. I bowed my head in embarrassment.

"Ah." His partner tried to get his attention. "My father actually has year-round tickets to see the best ballets in the city." He glanced at her. "Ah." She fainted. We had the waiter take her to the infirmary. We continued our conversation.

"It's not that big of a deal Satoshi…"

"Yeah it is Koto-senpai! That means you have to dance with him and the other Hosts!"

"Well, that'd be nice, but it's up to them if they want to dance with me." Just then, a Viennese waltz came on. My eyes grew big…my favorite dance. Mori's hand extended in my direction.

I looked at him. "You sure?"

He smiled a little. "It's an order Lieutenant." I laughed and accepted his hand. We took our stance (a little awkwardly, since he's so tall and I'm so not) and waited for the beat. When it came, I realized _damn he's good_. We twirled around the room in time, never missing a beat, and for such a tall guy, he was really graceful. He had to practically lean over me to be down at my level. After several minutes of this I looked up at him. He looked down at me and I gave him a cheesy grin. He got the idea. Without missing a beat, he picked me up and danced with me as though I was his height (which I'm totally NOT). It was fun.

When the dance was almost done, he actually spoke to me. "Kotone."

"Yeah?"

"Dance with Mitskuni last."

"Why?" He smiled slightly. "You're not gonna tell me are you?" He shook his head no. "Why not?" His eyes smiled. "You're not gonna even speak?" He grinned a little. "No fair, being the strong and silent type doesn't mean you get to dodge my questions…"

The song ended and he put me down. He passed me onto Hikaru (Greed). "Yes it does." It was barely a whisper but I heard it. I stuck out my tongue at him for good measure. His lip twitched. Haha, he would have laughed if he had no self-control! Score.

Hikaru was a pretty good dancer, we danced to a slow-ish song and we discussed the costumes.

"Your mom did a really good job with these."

"Yeah, she seemed pretty pleased with how they turned out, especially the uniforms."

"Yeah, I like it a lot. The homunculi costumes look good too."

He grinned at me. "Especially a certain homunculus huh?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." _Grr…WHY does he have to bring that up?_ "Seems like you like more than just his outfit…" _Huh?_ He twirled me around and I landed in Kaoru's grasp.

_Oh thank GOSH._ "Hi Kaoru. How are you?"

"Is Hikaru interrogating you?"

"Yup." I rolled my eyes.

"What's he interrogating you about?"

"Umm…our costumes."

"Oh…I thought he would have been teasing you about Hunny-senpai. You two work really well together you know."

I gave him a sardonic stare. "Gee thanks Kaoru, that makes me feel great."

"I'm serious. You two work well together, that little thing you did on the floor (_WHY DID HE HAVE TO SAY IT THAT WAY?)_ really got the ladies going."

"You sound like Kyoya." Just as I said that, the dance ended Kaoru handed me off to none other than the Shadow King himself. We were dancing to another medium tempo song.

"This cosplay turned out to be an excellent profit, wouldn't you agree Kotone?"

"Yes, it seems to do pretty well."

"I was thinking we should do another themed party for Christmas, it would be just as profitable if not more."

"Are you suggesting that you want me to come up with a theme?"

"No, I was wondering how well you can play the harp." _I never mentioned the harp to him…stalker._

"As well as you would like me to."

"What songs do you know?"

"Whatever songs you want me to know."

He smirked. "We will discuss this at our next meeting." He spun me around and let go of me to hand me to another partner. I looked up fully intending to see my next partner, but I heard;

"Oh, it's just you." It was Shiro.

"Yeah, just me. You gotta dance with me you know."

He rolled his eyes. "Is this part of the cosplay?"

"Yeah, it is. You know how to dance right?" He blushed and mumbled something. "What was that?"

"I've only ever danced with Hina before…we were partners for the elementary dance class…"

"Ah. So she was your first and only partner."

"Yeah."

"Do you want to keep it like that?"

"How would you do that?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Is that a yes?"

"Sure, whatever." I could tell. His shoulders relaxed, it meant a lot that he wouldn't have to dance with me.

"You only have to dance with me right? Then you're off the hook?" He nodded. "Ok, give me your hands."

He gave me another look but obliged me. "Take five steps backwards then five steps forward." He rolled his eyes but complied. "There. We just danced."

"All I did was walk."

"Exactly, though it could also be considered an awful tango to very poor music." He stared at me. I grinned. "Nice dancing with you." I walked over to the food table, filled a plate, and sat down next to Haruhi.

"Are you just now eating," she asked.

"Yeah and I'm starving!" I began scarfing food. "Holy crap this stuff is good," I said between bites.

Haruhi chewed her food slowly, savoring it. "So, random question Haruhi. If someone asks you to dance, are you the guy or the girl?"

She bit her fork thoughtfully. _Careful Haruhi, fangirls might explode if you hold that pose for more than 10 seconds._ "I don't know…luckily no one has asked me to dance."

I saw Tamaki bound toward Haruhi. "Yet."

"Haruhi! Would you honor me with a dance?"

"No thank you senpai, I'm not very good at dancing." He hid beneath our table, as his emo corner was occupied by a dancing couple.

"Tamaki, you know he can't dance with you…cuz it would be _odd_ for you two to dance together."

"Not quite." _Ugh, Kyoya, GO AWAY!_ "According to 95% of our customers, they want Haruhi and Tamaki to dance the last dance together, which will be a waltz."

Tamaki bounced up. "And what great taste they have, we will be the closing act to this magnificent evening! Until then, Kotone, will you dance with me?"

"Sure." We danced one dance together. It was full of his interrogations and my responses about the anime, my likes in anime, future cosplay ideas, and who he looked like. Admittedly, I was sort of glad when we were done dancing. Yasuchika wasn't going to dance anytime soon, so all that was left to do was dance with Hunny.

It was 11:45 when a tango came on. "OOOOooh! A tango!" I twirled excitedly and bumped into the person behind me…who was Hunny.

He grinned and held out his hand. "My turn." I smiled and we stepped onto the dance floor. We took our position, his hand on my upper back and holding my hand, my hand resting on his upper arm and holding his hand. (I'm sorry, but I had to blush, his arms were warm and muscular and he smelled…kinda nice.)

"Have you tangoed before Hunny-senpai?"

He smiled wider. "It's Mitskuni remember? And yup, I've danced this before." I could tell. He moved with confidence and he was a gentle leader.

"I can't call you that now remember? We are in public. And the ladies might get jealous."

"True." He dipped me and pulled me upright like a professional. My heart skipped a beat, cuz it was so unexpected. He spun me in a circle then returned me to our original position. "You already called me 'Mitskuni' twice though."

I blushed. "My mistake. Where did you learn to tango?"

"My mom wanted me to take lessons and my father said it would improve my footwork, though it's a bit hard to tango backwards."

I grinned. "You should try it in heels*." We both giggled and continued dancing in relative silence. When the dance ended, he hugged me quickly, saying. "That was a lot of fun, want to dance the last one with me?"

"Sure." I loved waltzing, to me it was so relaxing and freeing, it was like you were floating…then I noticed Hunny staring at me. "What's wrong Hunny-senpai?"

He smiled. "Nothing, you just look so happy when you dance."

"That's cuz I am happy, dancing makes me smile." The dance seemed too short and all too soon it ended. The Host Club knew about the situation with my mom and agreed to let me go home directly, they even had a make-up artist stay to help me with my make-up and hair change. 10 minutes after I finished dancing with Hunny, I came out rocking my fedora and tommy gun. The twins eyes widened.

"Whoa Kotone-senpai, what are you supposed to be?"

I 'checked' my clip. (It was empty of course.) "A gangster."

"COOL!" That was Satoshi. Gosh I love that kid.

"Well I hate to pull a Cinderella* on you guys-"

"It's okay Kotone, we understand." Tamaki came over and put a hand on my shoulder. "Try to have fun and we'll see you Monday okay?"

I smiled. "Thanks Tamaki." I waved. "Bye guys! See ya later!" They waved.

I stepped out to where the valet had my car. "Hey Chad."

He raised his eyebrows at my costume. "Do I want to know?"

I got in my car. "Nope." I sped off to my mom's party. _This is gonna be interesting…_

***I don't own Rent or 'Tango Maurine' or Cinderella.**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED RECENTLY! My gosh I was busy…homework and blockage of the writer's…not fun. But enjoy!**

I drove home, listening to 'Monster Mash' on my iPod (FUN TIMEZ!). I pulled up to the front, and like the other parties, the road to the front was packed. Limos, town cars, expensive cars (but NEVER a taxi) and even several (classy) motorcycles were in the queue to the door. After AT LEAST ten minutes, I reached the door where I tossed Joey the keys.

"Hey, did you eat," he asked.

"Yeah, did you?" Both Sasuke and Joey nodded. Then I got a good look at them. I snorted. "Nice."

"Says the girl walking around carrying a fake machine gun." Both of them were wearing old fashioned butler suits, 1920's style. I tapped the gun against my leg as Joey put my car in gear. "Careful Joey, it's loaded."

Sasuke smirked. "With what, marshmallows?" Joey laughed as he drove off. I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at Sasuke. "Minis."

"Nice."

I walked in and the house looked like a set from a silent film. There was a mini bar with 'bootlegged' liquor (about half of the party budget), an old fashioned car (wtf), old fashioned photo booth (next to the entrance which served as the rendezvous point for paparazzi), and a DJ playing '20's music. Everyone was dressed rather nice, most went with the theme of gangsters, so the men were in period suits while the women were in flapper dresses. (Ranging from historically accurate to some neon orange HORROR I saw by the punch bowl). The photographers ambushed me on my way in…but I walked really fast so they would get a blurry shot (HAHA SUCK ON THAT). I made a beeline for the bar where Zakuro was shaking up a martini for a Lena Lemont* look-alike.

She poured it out and the woman (who _obviously_ couldn't hold her liquor) wandered off to find her Don Lockwood*. (Haha see what I did? With the movie? …Nevermind.) "What's up?"

"Wow, you look relatively normal for a 1920's maid," I said.

She rolled her eyes and stepped out from behind the counter.

"Oh…" The top half of her costume was a high necked long sleeved black dress with a white collar, white cuffs and a white apron…the bottom half ended halfway up her thighs and she wore black boots that were straight from the 1920's.

"Yeah I'm not happy, these bloomers are giving me a rash" she said, returning to her post. She had her fangs in.

"Nice fangs, looks badass with the costume." She smiled evilly showing off her teeth and red contacts. "Oh that's just the half of it." She pointed to her waist where I noticed…

"Whoa…the Hellsing ARMS .454 Casull Auto*?"

She grinned. "Fake of course, but it's still Alucard's* gun."

"Nice touch. So how many people are drunk enough to think you're from Twilight*?"

"OMG! You're like a vampire?" (Lena returned…with an empty glass and a piss drunk boyfriend.) "Like from Twilight and stuff?"

I turned to her. "No, real vampires don't sparkle*."

"Oh, well then what are you supposed to be?" _Seriously? Ugh dumb drunk…_

Zakuro crossed her arms. Uh-oh she's PISSED now! Prepare your marshmallows and hot dogs cuz she's about to BURN YOU! "Excuse me, but I'm a fuck mothering vampire, I killed _a lot_ of people to get this title, I deserve to be called such*."

My gosh I almost _died_ trying to keep in my laughter. The couple just stared at her, then left muttering something like 'Twilight' and 'garlic'. I turned to her. "Zakuro, I love you. That was awesome."

She smirked. "Thanks. The usual?"

"Nah, I'll have a Shirley Temple."

"Right, so it'll look like you're drinking?"

"Heck, might as well, whatever gets me through this hell in one piece and the notion of waking up not remembering this party is _pretty_ enticing if I do say so."

"Riiiight…" She handed me my drink. She nodded behind me. "Careful, she's coming." Code phrase: INCOMING! YOUR MOM IS HERE!

"What's she look like tonight?"

"Little black dress, '20's style, obviously Chanel*. She's sober but smiling, maybe she'll decide to introduce you as a _relative_ this time."

I chuckled. "Fuck that, I've got a better chance of being her grandmother."

"Ah! Sirena! (_Knew it! I saw Sango hand Zakuro some money looking a bit sad, aww she bettted on me._) How do you do this evening?"

"I'm fine _mom_, you look nice." It was honestly a beautiful gown. A nice v-neck that showed only a little cleavage and a v neck back that came a little lower in the front. It fell strait to the floor and had a bit of a train. The cap sleeves and the bodice was covered in black lace and she wore her hair in a very nice up-do with a white headband and a black feather. Mrs. Hitachiin, you are a genius.

"You know better than that," she whispered fiercely pinching my arm. "Now come on, I need to introduce you to some friends of mine, they're around your age." _Yeah right, around my age to her means anyone aged 13-26._ I grabbed my drink right as mom began dragging me over toward the car. (The one she had randomly parked in the great hall.)

She spoke in English. "Madeline, Philippe, Yanni, Olivia, meet Sirena." _Oh what the hell, I'll be nice, I got a gun._ I bowed (habit!) and shook their hands (ugh, pitiful I-won't-grip-your-hand-too-hard-because-I-might-crush-your-girly-fingers handshakes). They smiled at me, the girls wore tasseled mini dresses while the guys wore suits. Yanni wore a fedora with his outfit and they all gave me a body scan before anything else was said. I shouldered my gun as cool as a cucumber and asked, "So, how do you like Japan so far?"

"It is very nice, very busy," Yanni replied drinking champagne. "Yanni is from Greece," my mom said, patting his shoulder. "He's 22, enjoys painting and fishing and he models for Hugo Boss* and Armani*." _Jeez, high end stuff._

"Personally, I _love_ the shopping here, the style is so unique," Olivia said. "Ah yes, Olivia here is from England and is the new spokesperson for Prada." Olivia smiled at me and said, "You are _sooo_ lucky to be staying here for so long…I guess the Japanese must really like your look huh?"

Um…what? I glanced at my mom, who giggled innocently. (Innocent MY ASS, I'd very much like to use my tommy gun and hit her with a couple rounds of marshmallows to her overlarge yapper. BOOM! HEADSHOT!*) "Sirena, we were just discussing the new contract you got with Fuji TV* and TV Tokyo*. (What? All I know about them is that they show Dragonball Z* and Naruto*…) It's such an accomplishment for a young lady of 21."

I almost snorted my drink. 21? C'mon, anyone in their right mind would flip those digits and more likely think I was 12! I snapped back to reality when Philippe joined the conversation smoothly.

"It is indeed an accomplishment, how long will you be here?" _Yes mother, tell the chiseled, super tall European how long I'll work here before returning to your imagination_.

She smiled at me warmly, accepting champagne Ami offered her. I knew better, for a high end party where mom invites all the _right_ people, she substitutes ginger ale for champagne so she can get as 'tipsy' as she wants while keeping her head. Ami was dressed like Zakuro except she wore an eye patch and a red sash. (Okay I'll say it, Being a pirate is all right to be! Do what you want cuz a pirate is free, YOU ARE A PIRATE!*) Did I mention that Sango was currently taking coats and wearing a ninja mask and carrying ninja tools in a thigh pack? Rin was genius. She wore a white haori over her maid outfit which ended at her knees. Her hair was braided and she carried a samurai sword on her back and left off her apron. (Gosh I love them, only they could come up with something as cool as that.)

Anyway she took a small sip and giggled. (Ugh, enough with the giggling, you sound like a school girl with a shojo manga.) "She will be here for another year, so I offered to let her stay with me." _Oh boy, I get to LIVE in this house now. I am honored._

"That is very kind of you, I'm sure she is very much obliged to your hospitality." Ami looked like she wanted to throw her tray at someone's head and honestly, I wouldn't have stopped her.

"I am indeed Philippe." He smiled. _Wow I bet your dentist LOVES it when you advertise his handiwork._

"Philippe is 26, Spanish and designs for Oscar de la Renta*. He also models some of his creations." He smiled modestly. _Oh please, you love hearing my mom talk about your achievements and your nationality._

"How wonderful, indeed you have spectacular taste," I said. He grinned and scooched closer to me. _Go away before I kick your ass._ "So when did you start modeling," he asked. He was drinking Bourbon, but underneath I smelled cigarette. Ew, I hate smokers.

"She started modeling when she was four. Her father moved them to the U.S. and she was discovered after she accidently met a manager from Elite Model Management*." Mom, I swear to goodness…

"Wow, how interesting. How did you meet her?" I cut in before mom could speak.

"Well my father took me with him to a business meeting and I decided that I was bored and would wander around for a bit. The manager was coming out of a budget meeting and found me. She stayed with me until they found my father. When he came for me, he asked how he could thank her and she asked if I would model for them." _Phew, that took out my brain cells._

"I thought you said she was a new model," Olivia said to my mom.

"Yes, a new model for Japan," I replied smoothly. "I've only ever modeled in the U.S. and Mexico, this is my first international modeling gig."

Phillipe chuckled. "What a fascinating story." He was standing far too close.

"Yes isn't it," my mom smiled, glaring at me.

"So what happened to your mother?"

"She died. That's why we moved. I returned to Veracruz after my father died, because he wanted to be buried with her." The group was silent for a second. _Where did I come up with this shit?_

Phillipe touched my shoulder. "What a sad story Sirena…I'm sorry to hear about your family."

"Yes, but I'm alright, work keeps me occupied."

Phillipe smiled, then began rubbing my arm. "Your outlook on life is wonderful." _Um…thanks? Get off. NOW._

I smiled. "Jimena will you excuse me, I must use your bathroom a minute." Phillipe immediately took hold of my hand that was still holding my drink. "I will hold onto that for you." He flashed me his kilowatt smile.

"Thank you, you are too kind."

"Always a pleasure," he said. I walked away. Honestly, I didn't need to use the restroom, I just wanted to get away. It was sickening, the stories I was spitting out…how in the name of continuity* was I supposed to remember all this crap? I walked to the kitchen, annoyed and in desperate need of REAL conversation. I saw Ichiru. He was still cooking something on the stove.

"So what's that," I asked. He turned and waved his spatula in hello.

"I have NO idea, wanna try it?"

"Sure. What were you trying to make?"

"Someone handed Rin a wad of cash for me to make them lo mein noodles…according to Rin, this girl was almost crying, then almost pissed off when she wouldn't walk fast enough."

"Yeah, she was a little bitch, I think it was her time of the month," we turned and Rin was coming down the stairs with empty glasses. "We're out of champagne, do we have any more? Hey, Kotone-sama what's up?" Rin's cool. She's late twenties, early thirties like the rest of the maids and she only acts chill like this around me. They all do.

"I think there's some in the fridge. I'm fine, I haven't seen you in forever," I said, helping her to get more glasses and refill them.

"Thanks, well your mom has had me 'promoted' to house cleaning since she wanted Zakuro to help her dress."

"Yeah, why the hell did she do that anyway, I thought the deal was that we both have two maids each ."

"Cuz Zakuro makes pretty bows and can pretend to be a nice to her for hours on end. That's why she swapped Ami and Zakuro's jobs. And cuz I'm a neat freak. Honestly, I prefer cleaning the house, at least it doesn't yell at me when I pick out the wrong shoes…Zakuro's good at that sort of stuff. No offense to your mom by the way."

"It's fine," I said corking the empty bottle. She picked up the tray. "Honestly, she's pissing me off tonight too." All of us unanimously rolled our eyes and Rin left.

"So Ichiru, what did I miss?"

"While you were helping her, I added some teriyaki sauce and bean spouts. I'm putting carrots in now and the pork and beef should be done. I think I put in some jalapenos in there as well and there's definitely some ramen noodles in here."

"Ok, do we have any linguini left, you know the kind I like and she doesn't? We could get rid of it by putting it in there and it'll be 'Three Noodle Nonsense'."

"Ooh, I like that, in that case I'm using the last bit of chicken parmesan we had last night to put on the top. All the stuff I used in this minus the jalapenos and teriyaki sauce are leftovers from the party or from this week."

"RECYCLE!" I said triumphantly. I handed him the container of chicken. "That beef is from Tuesday's steak isn't it?"

"…Did I make steak on Tuesday?"

"Yeah, you did."

"Oh…sorry, after the shitload of food I had to make for tonight, I barely remember the difference between brie and bread." I laughed. "Anyway, I'll send someone when this is ready, you should probably head back to the party now."

I pouted. "I don't wannaaaaaaa…this guy is hitting on me."

"I could hit on him," Ichiru said demonically. He held up a cleaver.

"That's okay Barry*, I got this." I walked up the stairs and back into the room. I took the longest possible route back to mom. I met Ami along the way.

"Hey, what time is it," I asked.

"Adventure Time*! Which roughly translates to 2:30 in the morning." I groaned. She gave me a sympathetic look. "You need some caffeine?"

"Please." She zipped off to find me a Coke* and walked back to mom. I smiled amiably and said, "So sorry to keep you waiting Jimena, but I got a call from my manager."

"Ah, what did he want?" Ooh! I had inspiration!

"He said he wants me to turn in early…I have an 8:00 meeting tomorrow morning with TV Tokyo." I wanted to laugh. Mom blinked slowly and forced a smile.

"Oh really?"

"Yes. The project manager is flying to Japan now and would like to meet me as soon as possible to discuss my contract." _Damn I'm good!_ "I'm very sorry, but you'll have to excuse me, I really ought to turn in now." I bowed to them all. "I was a pleasure to meet you all."

Phillipe stepped forward, handing me my drink. "Ah, pardon but will you walk with me a second?"

_No._ "Of course." From the corner of my eye I saw mom discreetly follow us…ugh so nosy…

I downed the rest of my (non-alcaholic) drink. "What is it you need Phillipe?"

He stared a little as I downed the drink. From my peripheral, I saw Ami come to deliver my drink, then upon seeing Phillipe turn around and leave. _NOOO! Come back, I wanted that drink…_ "Um, I was hoping if you didn't have any plans tomorrow I might visit you to discuss a possible modeling opportunity for you." _So that's why he was staring so much…_

"Well, I'll have my manager check my schedule and I will have him call you. Do you have a card with you?" He reached into his suit and handed me an embossed business card. This was the best part of my plan: I asked for his number, so therefore he doesn't know mine. THEREFORE he can't call me. If I do end up having to call him, I'll use a phone booth. GENIUS!

"Also…" I looked up to his face. He was getting to close again… "Would you permit me to accompany you to your room?"

Last straw. I dropped my sweet, endearing façade. "Excuse me?" Watch it boy, before I get really pissed.

"Would you like me to walk you to your room?"

I raised my eyebrow. It's almost 3 in the morning, I'm in no mood to entertain this douche bag. "No, I would not. I'm perfectly capable of finding it on my own thank you." I bowed. "Enjoy your evening."

He reached for my arm which I avoided. "I didn't mean to be rude-"

"Yeah, well you were. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to bed." I handed him my empty glass and walked briskly up the stairs. (Running looks desperate even if all I wanted to do was get away from this guy.) I reached the second floor and walked into the guest bedroom in case he was still watching me. After waiting 10 seconds, I walked into my own room where Sango was placing a tray of…noodles…down.

She looked at me. "Oh, hey Kotone-sama. Ami brought up your Coke but had to run back down. I brought up Ichiru's noodles. THEY ARE DELICIOUS."

"You had some didn't you."

"Just a small bowl, but seriously, it's good. I only gave you a small bowl since you're gonna sleep."

"Thanks, I'll eat once I get out of my costume."

"Cool. I'd help you out of it, but Patron was looking for me." I raised an eyebrow. "She wanted to discuss her outfit for tomorrow with me and Zakuro."

"Ok, catch you later." She bowed and left. She was right. The noodle nonsense was delicious and Ami had mixed the Coke with chocolate milk to tone down the caffeine intake. I went to bed after I was done eating. The music wasn't too unbearable so I would be able to sleep without worrying about my eardrums.

The next morning I woke up at 8:55 for no particular reason. I put a purple robe on over my pajamas and some slippers. I slid down the railing of the back staircase that goes directly to the kitchen. Mom wouldn't be up until noon so I had plenty of time to eat my cinnamon bun.

Poor Ichiru looked like he died. "Ughhh."

"Sounds like you got plenty of sleep last night."

"I just finished the dishes…"

"You need a nap. Go. Bed. Now. Mom won't be up until noon, sleep ok?"

"Thank you…" It sounded more like "uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggghh." But I can understand zombie so I was good. That day was weird…

**A/N: *I don't own Singing in the Rain, Hellsing (yes, that is the actual name of his gun), Twilight, Crispin Freeman, TFS Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, Chanel, Hugo Boss, Armani, Halo, FujiTV, TV Tokyo, Dragonball Z, Naruto, You Are a Pirate by Lazytown, Oscar de la Renta, Elite Model Management, Yu-Gi-Oh! the Abridged Series, Fullmetal Alchemist, Adventure Time, or Coca Cola. **


	21. Chapter 21

I was just eating my cinnamon bun when we (zombie Ichiru and I) heard the doorbell. SHIT! Mom's gonna wake up! Faster than Usain Bolt*, I ran out of the kitchen, up the stairs, into the hall and slid into the front door.

BAM. "Ouch." I opened the door, rubbing my forehead. _Damn mahogany._ Standing on my doorstep…

"Why hello Kotone, it has been too long." It was the entire Host Club. On my doorstep. At 9 am. And Tamaki was currently bending over my hand, 'romancing' me.

I freaked. "OHMIGOSH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" I closed my bathrobe. Not that there was much to see, I was in my anchor pajamas.

"That's what I want to know." Poor Haruhi, she was in a t-shirt and shorts. She looked a little chilled in the morning air.

I held the door open. "Come in, go to the door at the back of the hall and go down the stairs to the kitchen. QUIETLY." I stared pointedly at the twins. They all did so and I rushed upstairs to find a maid. I burst into my room where Ami was making my bed.

"AMI! I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW!"

She blinked at me and grinned evilly. "Well, I would hope for a dinner date first but-"

"NO TIME FOR YURI JOKES! THE HOST CLUB JUST APPEARED ON MY DOORSTEP AND MOM IS HERE!"

Her smile was gone. "Oh shit."

"Yup!"

"Don't worry, as long as her door is shut that should block out most of the sound right? She took a sleeping pill last night too…she'll be out for a while."

I leaned against the doorway in relief. "Oh thank goodness." After a second, I took off downstairs. The Host Club was still in the kitchen and goodness only knows what they're getting into. I walked into the kitchen and it looked like poor Ichiru died. Tamaki was pushing buttons on the stove, the twins were looking in the pantry, Haruhi was standing near the island, looking around curiously, Kyoya was taking notes, Mori was imitating a brick as Hunny pestered him if there was cake.

"OY!" Everyone jumped. "Step away from the appliances!" Everyone shuffled to the middle of the kitchen.

"That's better, so anyway, what are you guys doing here? And why are you terrorizing poor Ichiru?"

Tamaki, of course answered with a 'princely' tone, "We are here to take you away for a day of relaxation, away from all the daily burdens of-"

"Why?"

Tamaki blinked. He's lost. Heh, he looks like Ayame* from Fruba when he's clueless. Kyoya finished his thought. "It was Tamaki's idea. We are all going to a-"

Tamaki clapped a hand over Kyoya's mouth. "It's a surprise," he sang. Urg…now I really want to know…that's like getting a birthday present a week early and not being allowed to open it until the day of…frickin buzz kill. Anyway, he snapped his fingers. Oh shit. Each twin grabbed one of my arms.

"Take her to the car." _What? NOW?_

I began squirming. "Hey, c'mon guys, let me go, I can't go like this!"

"Why not Koto-chan?" Hunny cocked his head. He looked almost sad that I wouldn't be going.

"Cuz I'm still in my pajamas! And from the looks of it, so is Haruhi." She nodded. Hunny giggled.

"They look really cute on you Koto-chan." I blushed, but wrenched my arms from the twins.

"Well thanks, but I really need to change…Haruhi, so do you, it'd be annoying to go out in pajamas. Oh, help yourselves to the cinnamon buns, they taste good." I grabbed another one, started munching, and grabbed Haruhi, pulling her out of the kitchen.

"Where are we going," she asked.

"Yeah, where are we going," the twins echoed.

At that point, I didn't even care if they were following me. Heck the entire Host Club had followed us. "To my room. I think I'll have something that will fit you."

I made a quiet gesture and we all quietly trooped to my room. When everyone had filed in, I shut the door behind me. "Okay. Guys, stay in the sitting area, Haruhi, come with me."

"Where?"

"Closet." My closet is next to my bathroom, to the right, still in the sitting room. The twins made to follow. I raised an eyebrow at them.

"Okay, we get it…" They backed off to the sitting area.

I opened the closet door and ushered Haruhi in. Just to mess with their heads, I asked "So Haruhi, miniskirt or short shorts," before shutting the door. She looked appalled until I winked, then she and I giggled silently over what the twins and Tamaki were thinking. I turned on the closet light.

"Okay, let's make this quick, how does jeans and a t-shirt sound to you?" She didn't answer. "Um…Haruhi?"

"This is your closet?"

"Yeah…unfortunately half this stuff is the stuff my mom bought for me…not my style and too revealing for me. I'd donate them, but she likes for me to wear them to 'special occasions'. So, about the jeans?"

"Oh, um…that sounds fine." I looked around a second, then pulled out a pair of dark wash jeans. "Here, these I never wore cuz they're too big, they should fit you, do you mind skinny jeans?"

"Um…honestly, I'm not big into fashion…whatever is cheap works for me."

"Meh, that's cool, but you can tell me if you don't like it you know…I've got plenty of stuff here that you can borrow."

"Umm…" she looked around, a bit dizzily. "Why don't you pick…"

I shrugged. "Ok." I pulled out a loose-ish boatneck ¾ length tee, white with indigo stripes and some black flat ankle boots (they were again, too big on me). "Okay, the shirt is cotton, and I swear the boots are comfy and will be easy to walk in. Any feelings? Good, bad, I-wanna-murder-the-bitch-who-invented-this?"

She laughed a little. "No, they look fine, thanks Kotone." We exited the closet, almost to bump into the guys.

"Really? Are closets really that fascinating to you people," I asked sarcastically. I steered Haruhi into my room. "Change, ok? Lemme know if you need anything."

The twins and Tamaki crowded around the door. _Geez!_ I went to a bookcase and took out some line. As in line for a sailboat. I elbowed my way through them and quickly made a monkey's fist around the handles of the sliding doors. "Geez, no peeking you pervs!" The three of them were still observing the knot when I went back into the closet. I put on a long sleeve fitted purple tee with thumb holes, a black mini skirt, thigh high purple striped socks and my black 'swashbuckling boots'. I stepped out of the closet to brush my hair and the guys were staring at me.

"What?"

"You dress…like that?" The twins circled me.

"Yeah, so?"

"It's so…" the twins began. Tamaki burst into tears.

"MOMMY, OUR NEICE IS BEING A REBEL!"

"Actually, we were going to say really cool," the twins said.

"Well thank you Hikaru and Kaoru. Tamaki, stop having a cow." Just then I felt two arms circle around me. I knew who it was so I patted his arms. "Hello Hunny-senpai, I was wondering when I'd get a hug from you."

He put his head on my shoulder cutely. "Koto-chan you look really cute in your outfit, it suits you well." _Finally someone who understands._

"Thank you Hunny-senpai. Can you please let go though so I can brush my hair?" He did so, and I quickly ran my brush through my hair and pulled it into a ponytail just as there was a knock on the sliding door.

"Kotone? I'm done changing…" Immediately the twins and Tamaki surrounded the doors, trying to pry them open. HAHA! Take that, you three are no match for me and my amazing knot tying skillz!

The door wasn't opening, therefore Tamaki was freaking out. "The door is stuck! NO WORRIES HARUHI DADDY WILL SAVE YOU!"

"Shut up," I hissed at him. "My mom's asleep, remember?" I reached into a drawer in an end table by the sofa and pulled out a small object. The twins and Tamaki were still trying to wrench open the door when I came up behind them.

"Damn knot," spat Hikaru. "How the hell do you get this thing off?"

I pushed passed them and opened up the knife I brought with me. Immediately the twins and Tamaki were almost outside the door. I would have loved to give them a sadistic smile, but Haruhi was a more pressing matter. I cut the knot and opened the door a little. "That's how you undo a knot," I said staring pointedly at the SOMEONES who undoubtedly FAIL at opening doors. Hunny giggled and Mori twitched his lips.

Haruhi came out in the outfit I gave her. It fit her perfectly. "Wow, not bad Haruhi, you look good." She smiled slightly at my comment.

"The pants feel a little tight around my calves, are they supposed to be like that?"

"Yeah. So gentlemen, what do we think?" Tamaki was stemming a nosebleed, the twins were observing her nicely, Kyoya was adjusting his glasses and writing something on his Death Not*-I MEAN clipboard, Mori nodded in approval and Hunny said, "You look cute Haru-chan!"

"Nice choice Kotone-senpai…who is she wearing?" Haruhi looked confused. I'm good with this stuff though…only thing I ever learned from mom.

"The shirt is Polo*, jeans are Marc Jacobs*, and the boots are by Mui Mui*."

Haruhi blinked. "This is all designer clothes?" Uh-oh…her 'save money complex' is coming on. I stared her in the face and said in the most serious voice, "Haruhi listen to me. Because I am the daughter of a model, all the clothes that you are wearing I receive for free because designers sent them to my mom and she gave them to me. I didn't pay a thing. They are hand-me-downs." I handed her a black leather jacket to wear in case she was cold. "This too is a hand-me-down."

Immediately her face cleared. "Okay then." Immediately after she said this, she was taken captive by the twins while Mori scooped me onto his shoulders. (Thank goodness I wear shorts beneath skirts.) We practically slid down the stairs (honestly I don't know why they didn't, it's much more fun that way) and they bolted to the door.

"Wait, I have to tell-"

"I already left your mother and the staff a note for where you went." Damnit Kyoya! Why are you so efficient?

"Where are we going anyway?" I was saying this as I was being forced into a limo by Mori and Hunny. Haruhi joined us a second later. Wherever we were going, at least I would have good company. The twins, Tamaki and Kyoya went into another limo. (3 of the 4 were reluctant to part with Haruhi. Aww…young love…it's so cheesy…)

"It's a surprise," Tamaki sang.

JUST TELL ME NOW DAMNIT! Haruhi and I exchanged _Oh jeez I hope this doesn't suck_ looks and settled into comfortable seating arrangements. I was on the far left, next to Usa-chan, who was next to Hunny, who was next to Mori, who was next to Haruhi. She settled into her seat and began reading the random novel Mori handed her. He was also reading a novel. He offered me one, but I'm not big on 'A Study of the Economy of Japan'. Not exactly on my bestseller list. I considered taking a nap when Hunny gently tapped my arm.

"Yes Hunny," I whispered. I whispered just cuz I know how much it sucks when people talk loud when you're reading.

"Takashi wants to introduce you to someone." I looked back at Mori who nodded, then began taking out a box.

"Koto-chan, close your eyes." I did, kinda wierded out by who I was gonna meet. "Hold out your hands." Okay, _who the hell am I meeting?_ Something soft was in my hands, it felt kinda like-

"Feathers?" I opened my eyes and I was holding a young chicken! It was so cute! I made something like an 'aww' sound and I gently petted him. Ooh he was so warm and fluffy!

"He's so cute! What's his name?" Mori answered.

"Piyo."

"Wait…is he yours?" I handed him back as he nodded.

"Pome is his too," said Hunny. I turned.

"Who's Pom-" ZOMG WHAT THE HELL IS THAT IT IS SO CUTE! Hunny was holding this raccoon-dog thing… "Is that a tanuki?" Hunny nodded. Mentally I was thinking _ITS HACHI FROM INUYASHA*!_ I reached my hand forward slightly.

"May I touch him?" Mori grunted consent and I let the little guy sniff my hand before petting his fur. It was so soft I wanted to schnuggle in it…I heard a giggle. It was Hunny

"What are you laughing at," I said grinning.

"You're so cute Koto-chan." I blushed a little. Pome moved and now his front streached out on my lap while his butt rested on Hunny's. We both stroked him silently.

I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I felt the limo stop suddenly. I began to move when I realized my body was constricted by several things.

1. There was a tanuki named Pome asleep on my lap.

2. My head is on Hunny's shoulder and his head is on mine.

3. He's asleep, and I heard stories about waking him up.

4. His hand gently enclosed my hand and they were resting on Pome.

I glanced over at Haruhi who yawned and was putting her book away. _Great, she hadn't noticed._ But Mori had. I looked at him and the corner of his mouth was curving up ever so slightly. He didn't say a word (what a surprise) but that look made me blush. _Hey it's not like I did this on purpose!_

To make matters worse, Tamaki threw open the limo door announcing, "We're HEEERE!" The twins peeked over his shoulder.

Immediately Hunny began to stir. Pome felt this and jumped off our laps and onto Mori's shoulder (his other accessory, Piyo was on his head). Hunny's eyes began to open slowly. Tamaki and the twins began running, taking Haruhi with them. Mori left as well trying to calm the animals (who obviously also knew about waking up Hunny), and I was still in his grasp.

His eyes fully opened and his mouth twisted into a frown…then he looked at me. His hair was mussed and his eyes were burning. _Shit! Think of something, NOW!_ With no other care, I smiled brightly and reached up with my free hand and touched his cheek. "Morning Hunny-senpai, did you sleep well?"

He looked taken aback for a second, so I continued. "We both fell asleep on the car ride, but we're here now." I moved my hand to his hair. _What the hell am I doing?_ "Your hair is sticking up, hold on a second." I ran my fingers though his hair and my heart skipped a beat. It was so soft and silky…it felt nice. I stared into Hunny's face. His eyes were back to normal, but something was off…he was still serious.

I began retracting my fingers from his hair, when his own hand came up. He gently ran his fingers over my temple then into my hair. I stopped breathing, mostly cuz I still thought he was going to crush my skull. I hadn't moved, so my hand was still in his hair, right by his ear. Again, he smoothed my hair and brushed his fingertips along my scalp. For several minutes he gently combed my hair with his hand. I was staring off into space when he stopped all of a sudden.

I looked back at him and he was a little pink. "Koto-chan?"

"Yes Hunny-senpai?"

I stared for a second, he was trying to find something to say. Something that wouldn't make this situation any more awkward. Finally he said, "You forgot to call me by my _real_ name," with his usual cheery smile.

I laughed. _Thank goodness awkward moment #666 was avoided._ "I'm sorry Mitskuni, but it still sounds funny to me." I squeezed his hand a little, the one that he was still holding. "C'mon, the rest of the Club is waiting for us."

We exited the car and found everyone camped out behind some bushes. Kyoya had joined them at some point, crouching behind the shrubbery. Cuz bushes will _obviously_ stop the wrath of a Haninozuka. Tamaki came over and practically suffocated me in his hug saying, "OH MY DARLING NIECE YOU ARE SO BRAVE TO HAVE WITHSTOOD THE HORRORS OF-"

"GERROF ME!" I was pulled from Tamaki's grip by Mori. "Thanks Mori-senpai…so where are we?"

I looked around for a minute, we were somewhere in the mountains…I think. From where we came, there was a nice small town, and we were standing in front of a large traditional-style house. Wait…

"Whoa, are we at a hot spring?"

"I think so," replied Haruhi. "I've never been to one though, so I wouldn't know."

"Me either, so…hey Kyoya, is this a hot spring," I asked.

He looked up from his writing. (Someone just buy him a damn iPad* already!) "Yes. Based on my information, it has been a while since the Club went for a small trip and both our female members have never visited one before."

Immediately, the twins surrounded Haruhi and I. "Whoa, you've never been to a hot spring before," they asked in unison.

"Haruhi we expected," said Hikaru.

"But not you," finished Kaoru.

"Well that's cuz I lived in the States my whole life, and they don't have hot springs."

Tamaki and the twins 'oh-ed' in unison.

"So…are we going to go in?" I motioned to the big bathhouse I guess you call it. Staff was pouring out from the front to line up and greet us. Haruhi tapped my shoulder.

"Yeah?" We started walking in.

"I wouldn't say this to the rest of the Club, but this is sort of surreal."

"Yeah, I know…it's like finding a new species of unicorns."

"What?" We were stopped in front of the changing rooms.

Staff members took our coats. "Exactly! You can't believe it's happening cuz it's completely new!"

"HARUHIIIIIII" Tamaki latched onto her. "I got us mixed bathing, so that daddy scrub his daughter's back and-"

I pulled him off her. "YOU FUCKTARD SHE'S NOT YOUR DAUGHTER AND YOU'RE NOT HER DAD! YOU ARE NOT RUBBING HER BACK AND SHE SURE AS HELL AIN'T SHARIN A BATH WITH YOUR ASS!"

The staff looked appalled. Tamaki looked scared. Kyoya looked slightly humored. The twins looked both disappointed (pervs…) and were cracking up. Hunny was on Mori's shoulders and Mori was covering Hunny's ears. Pome and Piyo looked about as shocked as any animal can normally be.

"Kyoya? I do hope we have separate baths." I shot him a look that clearly said, _there better be two fucking baths or I will go ape shit* on something._

"Yes, I reserved two private adjoining baths for us to enjoy. Mori, on Tamaki's request has brought Pome and Piyo 'to protect his darling girls from any perverse men'." _Yeah, like the Twins or Tamaki…and I wouldn't be surprised to see Jiraya*…honestly nothing surprises me anymore._

"Tamaki your logic knows no sense…" I let go of him and I motioned to Haruhi. "Shall we?" She shrugged and we went in. We changed and then got into the (large luxurious obviously super expensive) hot spring.

"HARUHIIII! HOW ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR BATH?" She sweatdropped. I gave her a grin and shouted, "HARUHI DROWNED TAMAKI, BUT HER GHOST INFORMED ME THAT SHE ENJOYED IT!"

"SHE WHAT?" There was scuffling.

"IT'S A JOKE TAMAKI, SHE FELL ASLEEP IN THE BATH! I'LL KEEP AN EYE ON HER, SO CAN YOU STOP SHOUTING SO SHE CAN SLEEP?" Haruhi muffled her laugh. We both heard a soft "Okay." Then silence.

"You know the drowning part isn't so far-fetched, I actually can't swim."

"Wow really? That's interesting, I didn't know that. Heck I don't know a lot about you, care to enlighten me?"

That bath was the first time she and I had a long talk. She told me about her mom, her dad, her dreams of becoming a lawyer, her fear of thunder (she was relieved to know that I had an irrational fear too, of spiders in my case), and how she came to be in the Club.

"Wow, I don't think I've ever talked that much to a girl who isn't a customer."

"I bet, you don't normally get a lot of intellectual talks from rich girls."

She nodded. "So what's your life like? I know you're well…wealthy, but you don't seem to flaunt it like the rest of the Club."

I shrugged. "That's cuz I wasn't brought up to. My dad was a banker, but he believed in saving and investing money for stuff like college and whatnot. He set aside money for charities, emergencies, and he had insurance just in case. He didn't like spending money on useless things, but what he did spend money on, he took pride in…like our old house in New York. It was surely expensive, but that was more for what my mom wanted. He built the house for her as a wedding present and she had it furnished. I think you already know that I don't get along well with my mom, but one thing she did do for dad was upgrade his fashion sense. He always looked impeccable. He actually used to bike to work since it was so close and he only used his car in the winter. He was a sensible man. He didn't allow me to be spoiled and he taught me _himself_ how to cook and clean and do laundry."

Here Haruhi laughed "Really? I would have never guessed."

I grinned. "I get that, but he wanted me to be independent. He enjoyed doing that himself and only hired our staff because he was CEO of a bank and was really busy. He didn't want me to have to rely on maids and butlers to dress myself or clean if anything was to happen. Honestly, while he was alive, my mom traveled a lot for photo shoots, so it was usually him and me together. We had the same staff as we do now, with the exception of dad's butler. We didn't own a limo, we went to the grocery store on Wednesday night because it was less crowded, we didn't dry clean anything except for dad's suits and occasionally some of my own things. I only went to a private school because my dad thought the curriculum was better and because it would give me the opportunity to learn more languages and play music. He didn't smoke, he only drank at social events or after a long day of sailing, and the only things he spent an excessive amount of money on was on the boats and my car which he picked out."

"Wow…he sounds like a great dad."

"He was."

"He sounds like the opposite of your mom."

"She was, but he loved her. Mom…she loved him, but disapproved of the way he brought me up when she was away. Perfect example: one afternoon with my dad would be a sail in the boat, walking in the park, a burger at our favorite stand, a good movie and bed. My mom: shopping, shopping, more shopping, a bite to eat at her favorite French bistro and when I say a bite, I literally mean that, a party with friends or drinks, then bed."

"Wow."

"Yup." There was a short pause.

"So…boats…I heard from Kyoya that you sailed."

"Yeah, I did it competitively when I was younger. My dad had a decent racing sailboat too called an Olsen*."

"Wow, that sounds expensive."

"It was, we both gawked at the price tag when he went to buy it off this nice old man. But he bought it because he knew we would use it. The banker part of him logically told himself and my mom, that we would buy and upkeep the boat because he knew we would use it for its value. He said the exact same thing with my harp."

"You play the harp?"

"Yup! It-"

"THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE SLEEPING," Tamaki yelled. We both laughed and talked with the rest of the Club. When I was dropped off at home that night, I felt super relaxed and I felt like I had a really great day.

**A/N: I don't own Usain Bolt, Fruits Basket, Death Note, Polo, Marc Jacobs, Mui Mui, Inuyasha, iPad, the song 'Go Ape', Naruto, and Olsen sailboats.**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Long chapter. PLEASE FORGIVE ME AND MY BELATED UPDATES! But HA! This one is only updated in a week. Be happy. **** By the way…can any one of you do fan art?**

You know how you have a really great day, and then the next day, you're still feeling pretty good about the previous day, but it ends up sucking a whole lot? Yeah, Monday was like that. It didn't really start out like that, I mean my morning routine went fine, Ichiru told me that mom wasn't angry with me because she had to leave for a photo shoot in Milan.

Anyway, school was boring, Club went the same as usual and we closed a bit early to start talking about Christmas possibilities. Yeah, it was early but Christmas was a formal ball-like-thing for the entire school, not just the ladies.

"So Kyoya, you mentioned that you would want me to play the harp for the Christmas party?"

"Yes, I think it would bring in more profit than if we hired a professional."

"True, but you realize you will need to give me a list of music you would like me to learn. If I don't have the music, we will have to buy it."

"The Club will reimburse you for buying sheet music," he said adjusting his glasses. He looked a little annoyed about it, but honestly it's sheet music, it's awesome, and it's almost free! To me at least. I mean, it will probably go into files or something…but who else in the Club plays harp? _It's all mine…all mine…_

"Kotone?" Tamaki waved a hand in my face.

"What?"

"You spaced out."

"Sorry, what were we saying?"

"We were discussing a color theme," Tamaki said sparkling. "I'm personally partial to white, it would so compliment the color of the ladies skin…"

"Tamaki, that sounded really creepy…just so you know."

Tamaki went over to his emo corner…he was just beginning to grow some mushrooms when there was a knock on the door. It opened and there stood Phillipe. _Shit WHAT? Why the hell is he here? Does he know I'm a student?_

He spoke in English. "Excuse me, who is in charge here?"

Tamaki quickly cleaned up his mushrooms and (normally) introduced himself in English (jeeze I didn't know he spoke English…). "I am the president here. How may I help you?"

"I'm looking for-" he spotted me. "Sirena!" _DAMNIT!_

"Sirena?" The twins stared at me curiously. "Who's that?" I gave them a look that said 'please stop talking or I just might DIE'.

He came over to me and hugged me. The only thing is, this is Japan, hugging is for lovers and whatnot. Hunny is the exception. Immediately I stiffened and I was pulled from his grasp by Mori. He put me down and the twins stood in front of me, with Hunny standing almost exactly where I was (previous to the Mori-sponsored relocation).

"What's your business with her?" He spoke in English and purposefully avoided using my name. His stance was ready for battle, though he didn't raise his fists.

Phillipe backed up. "I mean no harm, I just want to talk with her."

"Talk to who," Tamaki asked.

He pointed at me. "Her!"

I didn't want to talk to _him_ though. But I had to. I had to clear this up. "I'll talk to him." I moved forward past Hunny so I could speak with him. Hunny grabbed my sleeve.

"I'm coming with you." He said this in Japanese. He was completely serious and only let go when I nodded. I turned to Phillipe. "Come, we shall talk in the hall." Hunny followed us out.

Phillipe noticed. "I wanted to talk with you alone."

I closed the door from to the music room. "This is as 'alone' as it gets," I said with an eyebrow raised. He knew I didn't trust him, creepy bastard. "So first thing's first. How did you find me?"

"Well, I called Jimena yesterday so I could speak with you…you didn't give me your number at the party." Behind me I heard Hunny snort quietly. "She told me I could find you here, that you would be modeling or something of the like." He gave me a full body scan. "You know with that uniform on, you look almost like a student." _Does this asshole REALLY not realize that I am 17?_

"Right. So, why were you trying to find me?" I crossed my arms. Hunny moved next to me, close but not too close.

"I have a business proposal for you. How would you like to model for Oscar de la Renta*?" Hunny's eyebrows shot up.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm sorry, but I shall have to refuse that offer. Mr. de la Renta has no use of someone like me."

"What do you mean, someone of your beauty would surely be sought out by the best." His hand extended to touch my cheek and I ducked his hand as Hunny smacked Phillip's offending anatomy away.

"Don't touch her," he said dangerously in English. Hunny stood in front of me.

Phillipe looked offended. "Sirena, what is this."

"This is my friend Mitskuni Haninozuka. Now, have you finished saying everything or do you have something else you would like to discuss with me?"

"Er…" His eyes flicked to Hunny, then to me. My expression clearly said _he stays_. He sighed, then said; "I was hoping to ask you to dinner tonight."

"I'm sorry, I have a prior engagement."

"I see…tomorrow then?"

"Then too, I am busy."

"When are you free? May I call you?"

I sighed. "I'm sorry, but I do not give out my number to someone I barely know."

"That can be changed." My jaw dropped and Hunny didn't look happy to say the least.

"I'm sorry but I am extremely busy at this time. I really need to get back to work, so I must ask you to leave. My apologies for my rudeness." _Not._

He smiled. "I see you are very dedicated to you work. I shall see you again I hope." He took my hand and kissed it, gave Hunny a cold nod, then left.

I waited until he was out of sight and exhaled deeply. Then I began furiously rubbing the back of my hand. "Ugh , I feel like I just got an STD, what the hell did he do that for? Jeez I hope I don't have rabies now, I might have to cut my frickin hand off…" Hunny took my hand gently, raised it to his lips, and tenderly kissed my hand in the same spot Phillipe had.

"Hun-Mitskuni?"

"Now your hand is all better," he said with a small smile. "You guys can all come out now!" Promptly the rest of the Club fell through the doors. Apparently they heard the _entire_ conversation. I don't know why this should surprise me.

Tamaki stood and asked seriously, "So, who was that?"

"Some guy named Phillipe. He's in his twenties and designs for Oscar de la Renta. He's apparently taken a liking to me since the party."

"And you…?" Tamaki sure was nosy, but I didn't care. I needed to vent.

"He's cocky, shallow, and way too touchy. He only likes me because he thinks I'm a model and I _hate_ the way he gives me full body scans every time we meet! Personally, I don't like him and besides, he only likes the me that my mom makes up. He thinks I'm Sirena, a 21-year-old model from Mexico who was hired for TV Tokyo* and is living at 'Jimena's' house for the duration of my contract. Apparently, I also model here at this school for some unfathomable reason."

"Wow," Haruhi said. "Your mom said all that?"

"Yeah, I'm used to it. The only people who know who I really am are the staff."

"Why does she pretend for you," Tamaki asked curiously.

"…I think she's ashamed with me and herself. She's too embarrassed for everyone to know she has a daughter. She wants eternal youth it seems." I shrugged. "And she's embarrassed for me, because I look this way."

"What way," Hunny asked.

I smiled. "My mom is 5' 10" as was my dad. She's ashamed of my height. By all genetic logic, I should have been tall and gorgeous like her, but…" I trailed off. I wasn't sad really, just a bit annoyed at her. She hated me being short cuz it was another paradox of herself.

Hunny hugged me. "That's okay Koto-chan, you may not be tall, but that makes you even more beautiful!" I blushed and damnit, I wanted to cry cuz deep down those were the words I always wanted her to say. But I sucked it up.

"Thanks Hunny-senpai!" I hugged him back.

"So what happened to calling him Mitskuni," the twins snickered.

I glared at them. "Keep talking and I will kill you using a paper clip and toothpaste." It sounded stupid, but they shied away in fear. I detached myself from Hunny.

"SO ANYWAY! Kyoya, is there anything else we can discuss _inside_ Music Room 3?"

He wrote something down and nodded. "Yes, I think that we should discuss more of the music aspect inside."

The next day, I was at Club again, dressed in my Club uniform serving tea when my phone went off. It was mom.

"Excuse me everyone, (I was serving Haruhi at the time) I have to take this call," I clutched my phone to my chest and gave the girls a cutesy smile. They squealed a bit and I ran off (still in cute mode) when I reached the kitchen it was time for a bitch fest. "OKAY LADY WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?" Yeah, I screamed at my phone. No, mom didn't hear me cuz I hadn't hit the little green button yet. But with that out of my system I pressed the button and said sweetly, "Hell-"

"WHY DID YOU REFUSE PHILLIPE? DO YOU REALISE HOW IMPORTANT HE IS TO MY CAREER?" I swear her yelling almost blew me away.

"Mom, I barely know him and I don't like him like that. Besides he only likes the me that is 21 and-"

"DAMNIT KOTONE DON'T YOU KNOW WHO HE IS? YOU JUST TURNED DOWN PHILIPPE DE LA RENTA! THE SON AND SUCESSOR TO HIS FATHER'S FASHION EMPIRE!" I what? Oh wow…did I do that? I felt a bit bad, but honestly, I couldn't bring myself to care too much.

"Mom, Oscar de la Renta is Dominican, you said Phillipe was Spanish."

"Dominican, Spanish it's the same difference!" _No it's not, that's like saying chowder is a soup, lemme tell you there are some MAJOR differences between chicken noodle and New England clam chowder*._

"Well anyway mom, I have no interest in either modeling for him or becoming his girlfriend."

"Well, start being interested because Oscar de la Renta is high end and is a great opportunity for models."

"I'm not a model mom!"

"Whoever said I was talking about you? If I can get a contract with them, then they eventually might want to make an investment in Suzuki banks." That's what this is about? She's using me? Again? Jeez this is getting old.

"How did you even know I refused him?"

"The party, you refused him accompanying you, so I told him you would be at Ouran. And you refused him AGAIN!"

"Mom, I have no reason to date him, he was kinda touchy feely and-"

"I don't care, it's just one date, is it really that difficult for you?"

"Yes, because _I don't like him._"

"You make it sound like it is torture." _Well from all the shit you've put me through, this one may definitely qualify as an OFFICIAL pain in the ass._ "I'm sure you can handle him for one day, it really isn't that hard Sirena."

I cracked a bit. "My name is NOT Sirena! My name is Kotone and I refuse to date him!"

"YOU WILL DO AS YOU'RE TOLD YOUNG LADY OR YOU CAN KISS YOUR HARP AND SAILBOATS GOOD BYE!" No…she wouldn't, she couldn't! But sadly enough she could…due to my father's will and the large price tag of the boats, they were not legally 'mine' until I was 18. So yeah, she could send them to the moon if she wanted. I'd have to do it. Not because of the boats and harp (though that certainly influenced it) but for my dad. He always wanted me to 'understand my mom more'. I would do this for him, for his company and for my mom and her career.

"Fine. One date. Whether he likes me or not is up to him," I said firmly. She got pissed.

"You _will_ be charming, you _will_ be polite, and you _will _go on a daylong date with him and act appropriately OR ELSE." Click. You know this is why people hate blind dates. I flipped my phone shut and took a couple deep breaths before walking out of the kitchen grinning like an idiot.

I finished up at Haruhi's spot before I was called over to Hunny's table. Go figure he be the first to notice something's wrong…

"Koto-chan, sit with me?"

I was just about to answer when the door opened and some of the ladies gasped. I turned and it was none other than-

"Phillipe de la Renta!"

"Oh my gosh I'm a huge fan!"

"What's he doing here?"

He smiled and waved a bit at the ladies, several of whom fainted. (Ew.) Then he spotted me. His smile widened and he walked over to me, grabbing my hand and kissing it. "It's been too long," he said covering my hand with his.

I forced a smile. "It was barely yesterday, Mr. de la Renta." All the girls seemed to know English (well duh, cuz it's a required course) so this conversation was far from private. "As you can see, I'm very busy, so can we possibly make this interview brief?" I indicated toward the kitchen door but he ignored it.

"Yes, I figured you would be busy, but how about this Sunday? Surely you need a day off once in a while."

All the ladies gasped and chatted excitedly. Painfully I responded, "No, I'm not working on Sunday."

"Excellent, than you can be my company for the day." Damn son, that wasn't even a question, like 'will you go out with me'. What a cocky bastard! "Shall I pick you up at 8 in the morning?"

"Whatever suits you best," I said bowing my head. I felt tears coming, but I had to tell myself, _for your dad, it's a great business opportunity_. He hugged me he was so happy.

"Wonderful, I shall see you then!" He pulled out a rose from his jacket and handed it to me. Then, in front of everyone, he kissed me on the cheek and left. I smelled the rose to keep myself from crying. It smelled sweet, but I hated that it came from him. Immediately I returned to the kitchen, grasping the rose stem so hard that I began feeling blood. I didn't care, I almost felt I deserved the pain, because I felt like a whore, giving myself to that man for a day.

I put the rose on the counter and washed my hands to get rid of the small dots of blood. I took several deep breaths, then brought out another tray of tea, smiling like nothing had happened. I didn't chit-chat with the ladies, I merely served them tea and acted invisible. Honestly, I wish I was invisible around mom, that way I wouldn't piss her off.

The rest of the day went well and I almost forgot about it until all the ladies left and I finished cleaning. I picked up the rose and brought it with me to the couch where my bag was. I picked it up and was just opening the door when Tamaki slammed it. I looked at him and his face was a little angry.

"What was that about? I thought you didn't like him." The twins were now behind me and Kyoya was to my left while Hunny sat on Mori's shoulders. Haruhi came to stand next to Tamaki.

I turned to them, leaning against the door. "I don't."

"Then why did you accept his rose," the twins asked. I looked at the rose, then began carefully shredding it, savoring the idea that each petal represented his stupid face.

"You know, roses aren't my favorite flower. Personally, I like lilies and dogwood better. But my father taught me it is polite to accept flowers from someone, even if you hate the giver." I crushed the rest of the petals in my hand, feeling very Phantom of the Opera*-esque. The twins and Tamaki looked shocked at the dismembered angiosperm.

"Koto-chan." I looked at Hunny. His eyes were serious and they looked almost sad. He crawled down from Mori and stood in front of me, staring at me deeply. "Why did you accept him when you refused him yesterday?"

I stared at his shoes. This was gonna sound so stupid. "My mom."

"Your mom?" Tamaki looked horrified. "What's she got to do with this?"

Hunny responded. "Your mom put you up to this."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"She told me if I went on one date with him, it would mean a modeling contract with Oscar de la Renta. And possible future investment opportunities for Suzuki banks."

His face remained serious. "You're doing this for your mom."

"Yes."

"You honestly don't like him."

"I'd rather date a sock than him."

"You told your mom this?"

"Yeah, but she didn't care."

He scowled slightly. The twins spoke up. "So your mom is forcing you to date a guy who is 9 years older than you? Isn't that kinda gross?"

"Oh you have no idea how disgusted I am at having to pretend to be older than I am, pretend not to be her daughter, pretend to like him, laugh and smile, all for _her_. I'd love to say no, but I was raised to _always_ and I mean ALWAYS obey my parents. Seriously! Once, when I was young, I disobeyed my mom and for the entire day I waited to be struck by lightning."

They all stared at me like I was crazy. "What? This has never happened to any of you before?"

Kyoya adjusted his glasses. "If you mean a parent using our abilities to further their career, according to my data, no, none of us have had that experience."

"Lucky you guys." Then it all came out. "DAMNIT THIS SUCKS! Ugh I hate the bastard and I hate my mom for wanting me to _date_ him jeez why the hell does she have to blackmail me? She does this every FUCKING time and-"

"She blackmailed you?" Shit I wasn't supposed to say that…but oh well it's all coming out now.

"Yeah. She said if I didn't spend one day with him she would get rid of the boats and my harp." Everyone was silent. "So…yeah. I should go now…I'm just gonna go and pretend this disaster date/day never happened." They all murmured their goodbyes and I left for home.

The next day, the next day after that day, and the day after that and the day after that (meaning all FUCKING week) Phillipe came to observe my 'working'. Tamaki as 'head of the project', told him it was training for an appearance I would be making on TV Tokyo tentatively set to come out in 2013 (when he said tentatively, he actually meant NEVER). The 'project' was 'top secret' (Kyoya made this up) and so he was asked not to say anything about it. This plan would have worked well, except for the fact that he was HERE. And he made it very obvious that he liked me. Every day he brought me a rose, even though I asked him not to, he tried to kiss me hello and goodbye (Hunny wouldn't allow that), he often stood too close, and tried to touch me. I had to smack his hand away sometimes it was so annoying. He also smoked in the music room when everyone but the Club had left, called everyone in Tokyo, New York, and Milan, tried to get me to leave early, and was overall a huge annoyance and distraction. Worst part: the ladies liked him and he was good for profit AND he was there on moms orders. So he stayed.

Finally on Saturday, after the ladies had gone, he was trying to convince me to let him take me home. "It's quite all right Phillipe, I really need to get home and then call my manager, it's really important."

"But I want to help you pick out an outfit for our date tomorrow." The entire Host Club was quiet. I made it clear to them later that I don't let guys in my room, and the only reason they were there last Sunday is because it was early in the morning and cuz I trusted them. I don't trust this shithead.

"I'm sorry but I'm gonna be-" My phone began playing 'Candy Shop*'. It was Ichiru calling. _He chose the ringtone, he wanted his ringtone to incorporate food. What the hell?_ Then I had inspiration. LIGHT BULB*!

"Oh, hold on, this is my manager." The entire Host Club turned to watch.

"Hello?"

"Hey Kotone-sama, what do you want for dinner tonight? I was kinda thinking chicken but-"

"Yes, thank you I'm wonderful."

"Um…great but that doesn't answer my question. So anyway, we have chicken-"

"Oh do you mean tonight? Yes, I was going to call you about that. For that interview would dark-wash jeans be appropriate or is that too casual?"

"What? Kotone-sama what are you-"

"Uh-huh."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Phillipe gently touched my elbow. _Bugger off assface._ "Sirena, about our date…"

I barely covered the receiver so Ichiru could hear. "Hold on a second. Phillipe, this is a really important call from my manager, can you excuse me for a bit?" I walked two steps away and spoke again. "Sorry about that, so about the interview…"

"Wait, was that the de la Renta guy that you have to go out with?"

"Yes indeed."

"He thinks I'm your _manager_? That's a good one. Oh, he can't hear me can he?"

"No."

"Good. So your 'manager' says to him, grow a dick, unstick your ego from your ass, and GO BACK TO PLANET CREEPER."

I giggled a little and said. "Yes."

"Oh and he can suck your dick. Cuz even yours Kotone-sama, is bigger than his." I almost died, but somehow I kept a straight face and said "Ok."

"You really must get home soon," said Phillipe coming over again.

"Phillipe, I will drive myself, it really isn't an issue," I said amiably.

"Is he offering to take you home again?"

"Uh-huh."

"Oh. Hey! Idea! Tell him he can't take you home because you have a…uh…what do you call those meetings that you do on the phone?"

"A phone conference?"

"Yeah, that! Tell him you have one of those in 20 minutes with some huge ass executive from company blah blah, who want to talk to you about blah, and it's gonna last forever!"

See why I love him? "That's really quite amazing. What's his name?"

"Designer Monsieur du Ass de Hole from company Yaoifuck."

This was getting really hard (GEDDIT HARD?) not to laugh. Instead I decided to play along. "Hmm…sounds like this will be a long, hard one."

"Yeah, it's gonna be a real pain in the ass especially since it's gonna last a long time." By now it was almost impossible to not laugh.

"So this conference starts at 6:45?"

"Is that what they're calling it these days? Yeah. Just get home already, I need to make you dinner and all the girls here want to help you find a date outfit."

"Alrighty then. Ciao."

"Later Kotone-sama." Click. I took a deep calming breath and turned to Phillipe and the rest of the Club. "I'm sorry Phillipe, I've got a phone conference at 6:45 to attend to. I will see you tomorrow. Where shall we be going?"

He blinked. Sometimes I think I surprise him with my _get to the fucking point_ way of speaking. "Um….well I heard you like the water, so we shall be going for a boat ride."

_Great idea! Except for the fact that it's NOVEMBER!_ "Bring a nice dress, we will be going out to dinner at the Tokyo Hotel* afterward." _Ooh, swanky. And completely unnecessary. I'd totally be fine if he took me out to McDonalds*, he just needs to pay and buy the fucking McFlurry* for me._

"That sounds…lovely," I said. He smiled, took my hand and bent over to kiss it, but I gripped his firmly and gave him a proper handshake. "Good evening." He nodded, a bit mystified, and left.

I did 3 things after he left the room. 1) I flicked him off. 2) I put in my iPod* and began playing heavy metal. 3) I grabbed a pillow, put a handkerchief over it and told the Club "you might wanna cover your ears". They all did and I screamed into the pillow, letting out all my pissed off-ness and my annoyance to Phillipe into the poor upholstery. After two straight minutes of screaming and listening to music, I took out my earbuds and put the pillow back as though nothing had happened.

"Okay, I'm good now…sorry about that." Everyone gave me a look that pretty much said 'can't blame you'. "So…I'm gonna go and just ya know…sleep…or something…"

"Bye Koto-chan," Hunny said cheerfully. I wish I could share his happiness, but right now I was a little peeved at Phillipe.

It only got worse. After I began driving home, I got a call from my mom. "Hello?"

"I'm glad to hear that you accepted his offer. (Damn she made it sound like we were bidding on something…) I want you to wear the outfits that I had Ami put together for you."

Uh-oh…now I'm scared. "What outfits are these…?"

"For the boat trip you will wear Mark Jacob* skinny jeans, a crème long sleeve silk shirt by Louis Vitton* and a green cardigan by Polo*. The dress for dinner will be Oscar de la Renta obviously. It's red." Wow how descriptive yet so vague you can be, mom. Luckily she hasn't mentioned shoes…I've actually got a bit of a shoe thing. Not a lot but I like my flats and sneakers…and occasionally my awesome stilettos.

"Alrighty mom, I got it."

"You had better not screw this up Kotone."

"I won't mom, but-"

"I'm sending someone over to do your hair and make-up tomorrow morning too." Really? Is that seriously necessary?

"Um…mom, I'm perfectly all right, I won't need…"

"Oh yes you will need one, your make-up skills are unacceptable for an occasion of this caliber." Ouch… "Oh and try not to talk too much, if you do, try to mention Suzuki Banks and don't talk about yourself, it's rude and boring." Gee thanks. "Also, act appropriately on the boat, don't do any of those crazy things that you and your father used to do." Oh you mean sailing? Well that won't be a problem seeing as we most likely won't be on a _sail_boat in _November_. "And order a salad during dinner, a model wouldn't order anything else." _BUT I'M NOT A MODEL!_ "Don't curse and do NOT talk about his father or your work."

"Yes mom."

"Be grateful, this is a date 1,000 girls would kill for*." Great. Except I'm not one of them. I'd prefer to date someone I actually like.

"Yes mom."

"Oh, and one more thing. DON'T screw this up." Okay, now this was getting annoying. I thought she was done talking, but she proceeded to lecture me all the way home about the do's and don'ts of dating a designer. Finally, she hung up after telling me 'not to do anything she wouldn't do' with a childish giggle. I was pissed now. Everything was adding up from the day and I was positively steaming when I got out of the car. I drove up to the front and Joey took my keys, giving me a sympathetic look. I stalked inside, pissed to high hell. Ichiru walked out, saw my face, then returned to the kitchen. Yeah, they know me well.

I went downstairs to the basement and when I reached the dance studio, I bean stripping. I put on some tights, black shorts, a black sports bra and a red comfy dance tank and some black arm warmers. (See a theme?) I grabbed my pointe shoes and threw them on. I warmed up to songs from the Le Miserable* musical and stretched well, trying to calm myself down. Didn't work. So instead I began dancing furiously to an upbeat song called 'Diablo'* by Simon Curtis. Ugh it felt good to let it out. It was fast and I was really getting into the lyrics, just thinking about what sucked right about now. I kept going up and down in my pointe shoes, I did floor work, leaps, and even did some rolls on the floor into spits. Anything to make me feel better. Soon I began singing along. "_You're the devil, you're a filthy piece of trash, gotta brush you off my shoulder, gonna let you kiss my ass, you're a diablo [x5], you're so damn evil, you're a diablo [x5], your shit is evil._" Yeah, I thought the lyrics fit well. Anyway, I was just singing along to the 'your shit is evil part' when the music stopped. I had just gone into a turn too, the kind where you go up on poite to turn, then back down to force your leg out so you can get a good rotation. Anyway, I wasn't really feeling the stopping so I yelled. "Yeah?"

"Kotone-sama?" It was Ami. I was spotting my head, so I didn't really notice.

"Yo." At this point I was curious how many I could do before I fell over.

"Um…the Host Club is here to see you." I stopped immediately, almost losing my balance.

"WHAT?" I turned around, and there they were, staring at me. I must have looks so ridiculous. Here I am, staring at them, all in street clothes and me…yeah, I'm in dance wear. To make it worse the twins shuffled over to 'observe me'.

"Wow Kotone-senpai, we didn't know you danced."

"…Um…yeah…well I do."

"She's been dancing since she was three years old and has taken a short break until January, when she plans on dancing with a local dance company." Well gee Kyoya, thanks for being creepy and letting EVERYONE know my business.

I looked over at Ami, who was vaguely amused by all this. "Ami, can you tell Ichiru we have guests for dinner?"

She bowed. "Yes Kotone-sama."

Immediately Tamaki did his thing. "Thank you so much my dear maiden for showing us the way to our beloved friend. We am forever in your debt." He kissed her hand. Ami looked shocked and stared at me for a sign of what to do.

"He's always like this…he's the prince type."

"Oh. Sorry, but I'm not interested in younger men," she said cheerfully. She bowed and left, leaving Tamaki heartbroken and the twins howling with laughter.

"Um…sorry to seem so rushed…but why are you guys here?" I sat down to undo my pointe shoes, but Hunny stopped me by rushing over and hugging me.

"Don't take them off Koto-chan, I want to see you dance again." The twins exchanged mischievous looks which pissed me off. _Oh grow up!_

"Ok. So why are you here?"

Haruhi spoke up. "Well, we decided that you shouldn't go on this date. It's not fair to you that you should date a business associate."

I smiled a bit. "Well thanks guys, but unfortunately, I have to do this…mom's orders and she'll know if I don't."

"We understand that," Tamaki said. "But we were speaking about sabotage."

I raised an eyebrow. "Go on."

"Your mother has asked you to speak and act in a certain way…but those rules don't apply to us."

"…what are you saying?"

"We're saying we are going to sabotage your date with Phillipe," the twins shouted cheerfully.

I looked at Hunny, then at the rest of the Club. "You guys mean that?" They all nodded. I can't tell you how relieved I was. It was like learning that Ben and Jerry's* ice cream had 76 flavors of ice cream instead of 75 and the new flavor was 'AWESOME'. I was so happy, I glomped Tamaki, all the while screaming "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" I glomped the twins too and Mori (who looked mildly amused). I patted Haruhi on the back (she looked relieved) and gave a thumbs up to Kyoya. I spun around and faced Hunny, who gave me a genuine smile. I ran-hug-tackle-glomped him, but he surprised me by picking me up and spinning me around. He set me down gently and I turned back to Tamaki.

"Tamaki. Thanks."

He smiled a natural smile. "It was Hunny-senpai's idea." Before I could respond, Sango appeared at the door.

"Hey Kotone-sama, 5 minutes till dinner. Speed shower."

I escorted the Club to the library (Haruhi was fascinated) and took the quickest shower I ever thought possible. I threw on a pair of jeans, a red tank top and a white cardigan with green stripes. I rushed back down to the library, quickly pulling my wet hair into a slick bun. I was just in time for Joey to escort us into the dining hall.

"Um…no offense Joey, but what are you doing here?" I caught up to him and whispered this.

"Out of curiosity, will you be taking your car or his car?"

"Most likely his car…why?"

"Because I want to put it to pieces and shine the chrome." His eyes sparkled…he was more than a bit obsessed with hot cars.

"Joey you could take the day off…"

"But I want to…" he gave me puppy eyes.

"Okay, have fun then."

When we reached the dining room, dinner had already been served. The first course was a light salad (which is Ichiru's hint that we are having pasta).

I sat at the head of the table, Tamaki sat to my right, then Kyoya, then the twins. Haruhi sat to my left, then Hunny then Mori (wise seat choice Haruhi…you shall be safe). I ate my awesomely biased salad (because he only puts the good stuff in mine…like carrots and cucumbers and craisins). Then Ichiru brought out the main dish, grinning at our inside joke. It was spaghetti with tomato sauce and Italian sausage.

I gave him a look. _Really?_ He grinned. "I was feeling _inspired_ to create this dish." I silently giggled and ate. Cake was for dessert, and once we were finished, the twins looped their arms around me and dragged me upstairs. Ami was in my room waiting for me with my outfits.

"This is what she's supposed to wear." I groaned. _She's in on the sabotage thing too? _The sweater was nice, the jeans were okay, but the shirt? IT'S SILK! How am I supposed to not freeze my ass off when it's November? The twins gave it their professional opinion.

"This is what she picked out?"

Ami nodded. "Kotone-senpai, you are going to freeze." I nodded, then they grabbed the clothes and forced me into the bathroom. "Try it on! We'll make any changes once you come out!"

"But I can't change it, she expects me to wear this!"

I could practically _see_ the twins' grin. "But she never said anything about _altering_ them." Oh…yeah they're good. I put it on and came out. The rest of the Club was waiting for me.

"The pants fit okay, same with the cardigan," Hikaru said, prodding my outfit. I shooed his hand away.

"The only problem seems to be the shirt," Kaoru finished. He helped me out of the cardigan and then they grabbed a long sleeved white shirt from nowhere.

"Put this on underneath the shirt." They altered the shirt so it was more form fitting, yet warm with the addition of the new shirt underneath. The rest of the Club was discussing something or another over yonder while I was being pinned. They steered me back into the bathroom to change and Ami handed me the Oscar de la Renta dress. I put it on and let out a small scream.

Immediately there were several bangs on the door from certain_ people_ (cough Tamaki cough) trying to get in. "What's wrong Koto-chan?"

"There is no FUCKING way I'm wearing this!"

"Why not," asked Haruhi.

I turned the doorknob. "I'm coming out." I came out slowly and all the Hosts stared. The dress was blood red and floor length to begin with. It was made of silk and had beaded red dots all over it. The skirt was A-line, but sleek, and it had a ribbon around my waist. The worst part: the v-neck neckline went down to that ribbon around my waist. We're talking a _deep_ v, and the back was even lower, exposing my entire back to my waist where it ended in another v. Worst of all, the front v showed A LOT. So much I had to cover my chest so my bra wouldn't show when I came out. It ended below where my bra ended. The dress also had a slit up to my hip. Wonderful. It fit me perfectly (since it was custom made) but I wanted to cry, I felt so exposed. Hunny saw this and shrugged off his hoodie for me to cover myself with.

My eyes pleaded with the twins. "Please…can you fix it? I can't go out in something so revealing."

It was a long night…but they did it. Part one of the date would start at 8 am, and no one had told me what they would be doing.

**A/N: I don't own Oscar de la Renta, TV Tokyo, New England clam chowder, Phantom of the Opera (book or musical), 'Candy Shop' by 50 Cent, the light bulb from Despicable Me, the Tokyo Hotel, McDonalds, McFlurries, iPod, Mark Jacob, Louis Vitton, Polo, The Devil Wears Prada quotes, Le Miserable, 'Diablo' by Simon Curtis, Ben and Jerry's, and that dress by Oscar de la Renta is real. $5,000+. I made it more revealing in the story though. Hope you enjoyed!**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: On a serious note, another member of Fanfiction has plagiarized 'Short'. I'm not quite sure how or why they did it, but it is against the Terms of Service. Please support me and message Fanfiction petitioning to have the story called 'Cake and Hunny' removed. Thanks for your guys' support and thanks to the reviewer that pointed this out to me. This chapter is dedicated to you.**

The next morning, I was woken up by Ami at 6 am to get my hair and make-up done by mom's 'people'. The make-up artist did a 'sexy natural' look and the hair man did long waves in my hair. Jeez, it took forever and I wasn't allowed to eat until they were done. Ichiru himself brought up two chocolate chip muffins with chocolate milk. YES! This was my power meal, my kick ass meal, my I-don't-give-a-shit-if-you-think-it's-weird-or-unhealthy-I'm-still-gonna-eat-it meal. Mom's people looked horrified. Whatever, it's my life*. (Haha! That's a song!)

After I was done, I slipped into some leggings. Phillipe may be stupid, but I'm not. We're gonna be on a mother fucking boat, I don't feel like freezing my ass off. I slipped on the jeans, put on the thermal/silk shirt (it was floaty and had a tie thingy in the front), and put the cardigan on. Then I slipped into some Sperrys*. Oh yeah! Mom never mentioned shoes, so why not wear shoes made for boat wear? Plus they were uuber cute.

The dress was already sent to a room in the Tokyo hotel* where I would change and get touch-ups done. I sure hoped the twins did a good job, I don't want Phillipe getting the wrong impression. Anyway, I put on some simple earrings and a ring (both of which were nautical themed). And the doorbell rang. I checked the clock. 7:57, he's early. I grabbed my phone and pepper spray and sailing knife and put them in my purse. Surprisingly, the pepper spray was suggested by Mori and Hunny, and not by myself. The sailing knife was a habit; dad and I always grabbed our knives before going anywhere near a boat…we were just either really paranoid or really cool.

Anyway, I walked down the stairs. Phillipe was standing in the foyer with Hugo Boss* jeans and a long sleeved red sweater by Nautica*. He handed me a bouquet of roses and kissed my hand. "You look stunning."

I smiled gratefully. "Thank you, let me get my coat and I'll be back in a second." When I turned around I held back my gag…this was gonna be a long day… I gave the flowers to Ami and grabbed a black wool coat with a turn up collar; in my pockets were a hat and gloves. I walked back and Phillipe escorted me into a limo. The drive was an hour away, in which he proceeded to tell me his life's story and his opinions on every designer imaginable.

FINALLY we got to the yacht and DAMN it was big! We're talking 50 feet big! Multi-stories big! Multi-millions big! But I smirked internally…I was right. The day was already chilly, like 50 degrees, and the clouds told me a cold front was moving in. Phillipe looked a lil bit cold.

Anyway the Captain came out in a white uniform and spoke in Japanese. "Welcome to the Chariot! Would you be de la Renta* Phillipe and guest?"

Phillipe looked confused until I said "Yes," back in Japanese. "Sir, do you speak English? De la Renta-san doesn't speak Japanese."

The Captain spoke in English. "Forgive me. Welcome to the Chariot! If you would, please come aboard, we will depart in 10 minutes."

He walked over to the side of the yacht and helped me on. He gave my hand a squeeze and said "Welcome princess."

SHIT SON! It was Tamaki! With brown hair! Chocolate brown hair! He gave me a slight smile and winked. I walked over to a petite woman in another white uniform with long hair…HARUHI?

"Welcome aboard," she said, taking my coat. I gaped at her like a fish. _This_ is what they had in mind? Oh man I have no idea what they're gonna do but this should be good. Haruhi spoke again. "Would you like a quick tour of the boat before we get underway?"

"Yes please, that would be great," I said. She showed us the bridge, the dining hall/small ballroom, the bathrooms and the lounge. Then a voice came on over an intercom. "This is Captain Usoh speaking (Suoh, Usoh, wtf?), we will now be going out to sea, please enjoy the music until we leave the harbor."

The music came on, and I almost died from laughter internally. "_Oh shit, get your towels ready, it's about to go down, everybody in the place hit the fucking deck, but stay on your mother fucking toes, we running this let's go. I'm on a boat, I'm on a boat everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat. I'm on a boat, I'm on a boat take a good hard look at the mother fucking boat!*_" I really wanted to sing along, especially since the look on his face was so priceless…it was a mix of horror and rage.

"Where is the attendee," he said furiously.

"Oh never mind that, I don't mind." Hell I had this song on my iPod. Haruhi came back with flutes of orange juice.

"Here you are," she said cheerfully.

"Can you please do something about this music," Phillipe yelled over the song.

"You want it louder," she asked.

"NO. Can you please turn it off?"

"I'm sorry, but it's programmed into the start-up of the boat, there is no way to override it." He looked pissed.

I patted his arm. "Come on Phillipe, let's enjoy the view of the harbor before we head out to sea." He nodded, and I led the way to the bow of the boat. Unlike a sailboat, the bow was pretty steady, but I could tell it would rain within the hour…I wanted to spend as much time out there as possible.

"The water looks pretty…don't you think," he asked. Um…no. The water is grey. Which means rain.

"Yes it is very pretty." Again I tuned him out as he proceeded to talk about water-themed clothes and bikinis. The water was cold, I could tell, but I couldn't help but want to jump in anyway. Better than listening to him…The trip out of the harbor lasted the entirety of the song, and it took another 10 minutes to get out to sea. When we did, the waves got choppier and Phillipe stopped talking. I looked at him. "Are you feeling all right?"

Oh boy he wasn't all right. He was green. Not green with envy and not a green thumb but he was green from being seasick. "Ugh…"

"Do you get seasick easily?"

"Yeah…"

"Maybe you should go inside…it's going to rain soon anyway." He bolted up at that statement.

"It's not going to rain! The forecast for today was clear!"

"No, it's going to rain soon, I think in about 30 minutes or so; the wind is picking up."

"So what about the wind? The weather is supposed to be nice for today."

You call this nice? It's cold and it's about to rain. "Well, either way, you don't want to get wet from the waves, so we should go in now."

We passed Haruhi who bowed. "If you need anything my name is Ranka, don't hesitate to ask." As Phillipe swayed past her, she dropped something on the deck. I picked it up. 'Seasick Solution'. I stared at her in awe. She smiled politely. "Perhaps the gentleman has not gotten his sea legs yet."

"Right…" I said. I gave her a thumbs up and walked into the Dining/ballroom. I didn't see him, so I went over to a tall uniformed man and asked, "Excuse me, have you seen de la Renta-san?"

The guy turned. "GAK! MORI?" He shook his head and waved his hands. I shut up, then he pointed to his name tag. "I can't see…" He picked me up, and I deadpanned. "Nori? Your fake ID is Nori?"

"Yeah." Not only was he wearing a fake nametag but he wore cat-eye contact lenses and cat ears. I guess that was his er…disguise.

"That's hilarious. So where's Phillipe?"

"Restroom." _Lameass. Couldn't take the sea so now he has to clog up the plumbing. How considerate._

He came out 10 minutes later, looking rather pale. He looked at Mori. "Get me some water." Mori walked away, I presumed to get water.

"Did he hear me? Hey, you! I'd like a water!" Mori kept walking. "Well I never! That was exceedingly rude, I-" For the next five minutes I had to listen to his bitching about not getting water until Mori came back…with a bucket. He handed the bucket over to Phillipe.

"What is this?"

"Water." I glanced into the bucket. It looked like he had dunked the bucket in the ocean, there were even some fish in it!

"This looks like ocean water!"

"Yeah." A-HAH! Nice one!

He thrust the bucket back at Mori. "I would like _pure_ water if you don't mind! In a glass!" Mori bowed and left. I was silently giggling at all of this. He came back in another 5 minutes. With ice cubes.

"I would like my water in liquid form," Phillipe said. _Um WRONG! Liquid is a state of MATTER! Yes I am a DORK._ Anyway, from nowhere, Mori pulled out a pot. He put the ice cubes in the pot and handed the glass to me. Then he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a blowtorch. He heated the ice until it melted, poured it in the glass and handed it to Phillipe. He was pissed, I was still trying to figure out where Mori pulled out the pot from. He bowed and left.

There was an uncomfortable silence as Phillipe sipped his water and I fiddled with my cardigan. Awkwardly I said, "I'm uh…gonna slip outside for a minute." He nodded and said, "I'll join you soon, _before it rains,_" he added sarcastically.

I smiled and stepped outside. I reckoned about 5 minutes or so. I surveyed the horizon, clouds coming in fast, not thunder but definitely rain. The wind had picked up from 5 knots to 10 knots and there was about a foot of chop. I wanted to sail in this, not sit idle on a boat; even if it is cold in November, at least I'd be doing something. Rain began falling, so for fun I began doing my Gene Kelly* impersonation and singing and dancing to 'Singing in the Rain'*. I had just gotten to the 'I'm dancing in the rain, da-ya ya ya ya ya' part with the umbrella when I heard, "What are you doing?"

I stopped abruptly. Phillipe was at the door looking wierded out, as if it was odd that I was dancing on a boat. (Please. He should have seen me when I did the Soulja Boy* on top of a capsized boat.) "Um…I'm quite literally singing in the rain."

"It's raining?" No dipshit it's fucking sunny with rainbow ponies. YES IT'S RAINING, what the hell do you call this condensation currently falling on my head?

"Yes, I knew it -"

"Come in immediately! Your hair will be ruined!" Oh right, so never mind the fact that I could get sick, he's just worried about my looks. Damn I'm gonna go ape shit* in a minute… He reached out and pulled me into the cabin of the boat. However, the floor was slippery so I ended up tripping and slamming into him, holding onto his arms awkwardly. I let go of him and he smiled in a way that made me uncomfortable.

I almost jumped out of my pants (he'd like that wouldn't he) when he touched the small of my back. He leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "Why don't we dance for a bit?" I nodded and began walking, hoping he'd follow behind me. He didn't let go of my back. I sped up to the ballroom and his hand slipped lower…and lower! His hand had just barely touched my ass when I felt it flung out of the way and two voices say simultaneously, "It's lunch time!"

I looked back, and there were tire marks. He had been run over by a food trolley. This in itself was hilarious, but the look on his face was priceless. His face was 50% wtf, 25% ouch, 15% someone's gonna die, and 5% wow, this is embarrassing. I would have pointed and laughed, but two arms looped around me and pulled me to a table where they sat me down. The table had a white tablecloth and two place settings. The two butlers were currently hauling Phillipe to his feet. In under 5 seconds, they combed his hair, tidied his sweater, shined his shoes and escorted him to the table.

Just then they handed out the menus. It was the twins. With blonde hair. Slicked back! And in white shirts with black pants and vests. "If you need us, call for either Ayame or Shigure." All of a sudden Shigure (Hikaru I think) grabbed Ayame around the waist. "You're the only one I want to hear call my name." Ayame shied away. "Shigure, not in front of the guests."

Shigure sighed wistfully. "What can I get you to drink?"

Before I could speak, Phillipe said, "A bottle of champagne."

Shigure/Hikaru wrote it down on a pad but glanced at me. "Actually can I have a water? I prefer not to drink so early." He nodded and ran off hand-in-hand with Kaoru before Phillipe could protest my order.

Not five minutes past when I heard our 'Captain's' voice in a mic. "Please enjoy the music while we serve your drinks." He sat down at a piano and began playing. (WHOA HE CAN PLAY? THAT'S SO LEGIT!) Phillipe covered his ears, I dunno what he was expecting but Tamaki began playing the Moonlight Sonata*. I let Phillipe keep his ears covered as I said, "Nobody will ever understand the food I taste. The food that tastes like regret. And noodles. Just like the taste in my mouth when Sasuke's brother ruined my life. For some reason there were noodles involved, it was weird*." Only when I was done being a dork did I pat his arm and say "It's okay! It's classical."

He uncovered his ears just as Kaoru came back with my drink. He leaned over to hand me my drink and Hikaru snaked his arms around Kaoru's waist. He yelped and my drink slammed on the table, luckily none of it spilled.

Phillipe was mad again. "Hey! Be more careful."

"Yes brother, be careful or else I might have to punish you later," Hikaru said, letting his arm travel up Kaoru's chest. Renge would having a major nosebleed by now, especially when Kaoru moaned out "Shigure…we have to serve the guests." He pulled away and began chilling the champagne by twisting it around in the ice.

I knew Hikaru would make something perverted out of this. Sure enough, Hikaru put a glass on the table and Kaoru began pouring when Hikaru whispered in his ear, "Next time, be more…vigorous with the champagne bottle." Kaoru blushed and almost spilled the champagne. He gently placed the bottle on the table and backed away.

Hikaru stepped forward with a pad and pencil. "What will you be having today?"

"Um, I'll have…"

"We'll both have the rosemary and garlic lamb with a side of asparagus and fettuccini." Hikaru looked taken aback, but I decided to give it the ok, just cuz Irefused the champagne earlier. Hikaru carried Kaoru out bridal style and just for fun, Tamaki began playing the 'Wedding March' from Logerhein*.

Phillipe stood and offered his hand to me. "Care to dance?" I smiled and stood too. "Hey you, Captain! Play us a dance tune!"

Tamaki nodded and began playing 'La Habanera' from Carmon. "No, no, NO! Something I can dance to!" _Are you stupid? It's a tango. Very easily danceable._

"What would you like me to play then," Tamaki asked affably.

"A waltz!"

Immediately Tamaki began playing the Walzar* by Tchaikovsky*. Personally, I loved this song, but I wasn't loving my partner. He had only the most vague sense of rhythm and absolutely no sense of personal space…which led to my sore toes. Tamaki's playing was absolutely great, but it was marred by my partner's cigarette/champagne breath.

The song ended and I think that was the first time I was happy to end a dance. Then the next song came on and I felt a pit in my stomach…it was from that old anime movie, Laputa Castle in the Sky*…it was a Viennese waltz._ Damnit! I wanna dance to this!_ Apparently some species of seaweed are psychic (aka nori) because Mori came over, bowed and offered me his hand.

I smiled one of those aww-she's-so-cute-she-can't-be-scheming-anything smiles at Phillipe. "Would you mind? I do love a Viennese waltz." He looked like a grumpy schoolboy but he nodded.

Mori and I took off as though we were ninja gliding on ice. The song wasn't too fast so it allowed for me to do several poses and dips. Mori was surprisingly gentle and graceful and his footwork was flawless. He dipped me again and said, "Follow my lead." Well I already was, so it was hardly difficult to keep up, until he picked me up to dance. We stayed like that for about thirty seconds before putting me down for a super quick assisted spin (the kind where he holds my waist and let 'er rip) then lifted me onto his shoulders. I caught a quick look at Phillipe and he was seething. Oh well, his loss. Mori again gently held my waist and I spun off his shoulder.

He twirled me one more time and we ended in a dipping pose.

"How did you learn all those lifts and stuff?"

"Youtube*." Damn son. Just as we stood up Phillipe grabbed my arm and dragged me over to the table.

"Hey, wha-"

"The food is here." _Ya could have just told me dipshit, no need to go all Beowulf* on my arm._ I nodded and prepared myself for what the twins would pull. Yeah there's no way that worked.

Hikaru pushed the cart out and Kaoru trailed behind, his necktie askew and his face flushed. They parked it next to me and Hikaru gave Kaoru 'a look'. It took a huge effort not to laugh, but even more so when Hikaru snuck up behind Kaoru and stuck his hand in his pocket.

"Ayame, you should really fix that hole in your pants…" Hikaru said as he slipped his hand deep into Kaoru's right pocket. Both Kaoru and Phillipe jumped, but Kaoru was the only one who blushed a deep scarlet. Kaoru took Hikaru's hand out of his pocket, but didn't let go of it. He nervously placed our salads in front of us.

"Would you care for cheese or pepper," Kaoru asked. I tried not to laugh as Hikaru placed both their hands in Kaoru's pocket and stood behind him breathing on his neck.

"Er, pepper please," Phillipe said. I don't think they he heard because Kaoru moaned out "Shigure…" and Hikaru flipped him onto his back and slammed him onto our table. (PROPS TO THE TABLE FOR WITHSTANDING YAOI REFERANCES!) Hastily, Hikaru began untying Kaoru's necktie and Kaoru began unbuttoning Hikaru's vest. Hikaru threw Kaoru's necktie at my face and I caught it and tied it in my hair like Liechtenstein*. Kaoru turned his head toward me to 'give Hikaru better access to his neck'. He winked at me and rolled his eyes. He let out an over-exaggerated moan and I could barely contain my laughter. Then Tamaki began playing and singing, "When the moon hit's your eyes like a big pizza pie, it's amore*!"

I knocked my cutlery on the floor and glanced at Phillipe. "…fork…floor," was all I could wheeze out before I ducked down beneath the cloth covered trolley to laugh. I just happened to glance up from the ground when I saw…

"M-Mitskuni?" Yes indeed. Hunny was sitting under the cart. On a tray. Eating cake.

"I hope Philli-chan doesn't mind that I ate his piece…"

I stared at him, shell-shocked for a second, then said, "I'm sure he wouldn't mind." Then I resurfaced with my lips in a tight line, determined not to show emotion (so essentially I pretended to be Mori). Again, fail…cuz Hikaru had just shrugged off his vest and threw it…onto Phillipe.

I swear he turned purple. "What is going on here?"

I covered my laugh. "I believe the proper term is twincest." He blanched. Gay guys I assume he's seen, but gay twin brothers just bring the oddity to a whole new level. Especially ones who are going at it on the table where you were eating. Well, I was eating, he was just staring and getting pissed off. He just really needed to calm down and enjoy the salad, I mean this is fantastic! There were gummy worms among the lettuce! And cucumber shurikens! (That might have been another reason why he was pissed, but oh well.)

"ENOUGH! ALL OF YOU STOP!" I stopped eating, Kaoru stopped moaning, Hikaru stopped unbuttoning Kaoru's shirt, Tamaki stopped playing, and I stopped eating (yeah I said it twice, I ate another gummy worm...)

In another 5 seconds, the twins pulled on their shirts, neckties (Kaoru somehow had another one), and vests, they re-combed their hair and straightened the table as though nothing had happened.

Kaoru asked us, "Are you done with your salads?" I nodded and Phillipe pushed his away. They took it away and placed plates in front of us. Then they heaved a huge covered platter onto the center of the table.

"Your rosemary and garlic lamb, we will bring out your sides in a minute," they said unanimously as they lifted the cover. I almost choked on my drink. On the platter sat Hunny. In a sheep costume.

"WHAT IS THIS?" For once I agreed with Phillipe, what the hell was this?

"I'm lamb," Hunny shouted gleefully. Pause. Wait for it…I burst out laughing.

"You…lamb! Ah-hah! Food…with the costume…HAHA!"

Hunny jumped off the table and sang 'Baa Baa Black Sheep*' and 'Mary-chan had a Little Lamb*' until our real food came. When it did, I clapped and tipped him. I turned back to the table and Phillipe was staring at me.

"What?"

"You just tipped him for ruining a meal!"

"It wasn't ruined. I believe that was the dining entertainment." Hell I just made that up, do they even do that for lunch? Oh well. We ate in silence until we were done. The twins swept away our dishes then offered us a 'special dessert'.

"No, I will just have coffee," said Phillipe. Prick. Live a little!

"Sure, please bring it out with his coffee." He gave me a dirty look, but I ignored it. Why the hell should he be giving me a dirty look, it's not like I'm gonna shove a cake down his throat…though if it would suffocate him, I might've considered it…KIDDING!

The twins came out two minutes later with a nice slice of a three tier chocolate cake with chocolate icing and a glass of milk for me. Phillipe just had his small cup of coffee.

"Are you really going to eat that?" He made it sound like it was a crime.

"Yes…I like cake so I am planning on doing the baker justice to his hard work."

He sat back in his chair. "Do you know how many calories that is? That cake slice could ruin your figure." _Really, cuz it seems to be doing Hunny plenty of good and BELIEVE ME, I would know._

I gave him a smile and took a bite of the cake. NOM NOM NOMULOUS! YUUUUUUUUUUM! And the milk was a great addition too! So yummy…

Tamaki wandered over. "Is the dessert to your liking Miss?"

"Oh yes, it is quite-"

"Forgive me for interrupting Captain, but who is driving this boat?" His eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped. Without another word, Tamaki sped off to the wheel house, presumably to steer the vessel, or at least push the Auto-Pilot button.

I wasn't worried, but Phillipe obviously was. Dude, we have a GPS, we have cell phones, radios, all that shit PLUS Kyoya's private police force. We're not gonna get lost. Either way, Phillipe somehow thought he would be a great asset by going to the bow and staring at the ocean…which he did. It wasn't raining anymore, but it was a bit muggy out. He smoothed his hair before looking around.

He looked behind me and yelled, "Are we lost?" I turned around and almost snorted in a very dog-smells-pepper-and-sneezes way.

Kyoya was standing there in uniform. His hair was in a messy bed-head sort of style and he did not wear his glasses. Not my type, but even I'll admit it was pretty hot.

Kyoya came forward and bowed to Phillipe. "My name is Watari (DEATH NOTE* ZOMG!). I am this boat's navigator."

Phillipe smiled for the first time that day. "Ah, thank goodness. FINALLY someone who knows what they are doing." Kyoya smiled. Uh-oh…

"Excuse me ma'am, but I need to use the bow to do my calculations." I moved and he brought out a _sexton_. I think old school is cool but the sexton is like from the Land Before Time*! That thing is old as shit! I didn't even know if Kyoya could use it, but he mimed it pretty well. He walked back inside and Phillipe followed him, so I followed Phillipe.

In the wheelhouse, Tamaki was whistling the Sailor's Hornpipe* and I wanted to join in. Kyoya walked over to a large table and pulled out a sea chart. An OLD sea chart…like the one Columbus used to find the New World, the one that still had Japan labeled as Cipangu. Nowadays Japan* looks like a mild-mannered man with a mild cat fetish and a talent for doushinji.

Anyway, he began using all these old instruments to make all these crazy calculations. In fact, I think he was using alpha and sigma and the square root all in one calculation…which would DEFINITELY blow up a calculator. Phillipe was getting confused, I could tell. But seeing as this date was fucked up already, his 'omgwtf' face was no surprise to me.

Trying to be a good 'date', I suggested we go below into the lounge for a game of cards. "That sounds…fine," he said rather peeved at life. We found some cards and he suggested poker.

"Alright." That was a bad idea…cuz I won the next five games. Haruhi brought us tea and wafer cookies after the fifth game.

"Where did you learn poker," he asked, very frustrated. I just beat his pair with a full house.

"My father taught me. He showed me lots of card games." _Including ones which you play on motorcycles._

"He obviously taught you well." Aww someone's grumpy. Oh well, I don't care. It's not like we were playing for money. I took a sip of my tea. Yum, chai. He took a sip of his and made a face.

"You, lady. What is this? It's detestable."

Haruhi looked genuinely taken aback. "It is chai tea, imported from India with American clover honey and milk from the finest dairy in Japan."

"I don't like it. Go get me some Earl Grey." Haruhi bowed and took it away. Damn, rude much?

He was irritable and rude for the rest of the day until we finally 'found' our way back to port at around 5 p.m.

We were on deck, waiting to pull in when he suddenly said to me: "I have dinner reservations for 7. Don't be late." Gosh I was so tempted to set his watch 30 minutes late just to piss him off…

We tied up about five minutes later and Phillipe decided to get off first. He was just about to make the 2 inch jump from the yacht to the dock when he suddenly turned around, grabbed me by the waist and was just about to kiss me when…

BAM! He flew across to the other side of the dock and fell in the water. WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED? I glanced to the left of me and Hunny was smirking evilly with Mori, well Mori was looking angrier than usual. Hunny had changed into jeans and a button down shirt. (Pity, that lamb costume was cute.)

"Uh…what happened?" The twins appeared, one on each side, holding bananas.

"He slipped." Yeah, cuz that's likely. I took a banana and ran over to see if he was okay. He was holding onto a piling.

"What happened," he asked, confused.

"Uh…you slipped." _And ultimately defied the laws of gravity._ I showed him the (very obviously unopened) banana.

"Oh. Well don't just stand there, find someone to get me out of here!"

Easy. He was hugging the piling around 2 feet below where I stood on the dock. I reached out to him. "Here, grab my arm and climb up the piling."

"No way! These are expensive Italian loafers!" _Not anymore._ I called Mori over and he helped me pull out Phillipe. He looked at the yacht, soaking, cold, and angry.

"I will NEVER hire this yacht ever again! The service is TERRIBLE!" With that he stormed off the dock, got into his waiting limo and left. Nice job douchbag, you were my ride.

I couldn't be too angry though. I smiled and bowed to the Host Club who was still assembled on the yacht. "Thank you so much everyone! That was the best worst date I've ever had!"

"It was no trouble Kotone, this was actually a wonderful opportunity to get pictures to auction off for a profit," said Kyoya. _Figures._ I went over to Hunny and Mori to especially thank them, but Hunny ran forward to hug me. He squeezed me tightly.

"He didn't hurt you did he Koto-chan," he mumbled into my sweater shoulder.

I returned the hug. "No Hunny-senpai, you and Mori-senpai were just in time. Thank you." I glanced at Mori and nodded. We stayed like that for another second until Kyoya spoke.

"I hate to break this up (no you don't) but we need to get you ready for your dinner date in less than 2 hours."

I broke off from Hunny and waved as I hurried into a limo Tamaki had ordered.

Phase one complete. Now I just had to survive dinner.

**A/N: *I don't own 'It's My Life' by Bon Jovi, Sperrys (if I did, they would come in a size 5!), Tokyo Hotel (if it exists), Hugo Boss, Nautica, de la Renta (name or company), 'I'm on a Boat' by The Lonely Island, Gene Kelly, 'Singing in the Rain' (the movie or song), 'Crank Dat' by Soulja Boy, 'Go Ape' by Far East Movement, the Moonlight Sonata, Naruto the Abridged Comedy Fandub Spoof Series Show, The Wedding March of Logerhein, Logerhein (it's an opera), 'La Habanera', Carmon, the Walzar, Tchaikovsky, Laputa-Castle in the Sky, Youtube, Beowulf, Hetalia, the song about pizzas and amore, Baa Baa Black Sheep, Mary Had a Little Lamb, Death Note, The Land Before Time, The Sailor's Hornpipe, and any YGOTAS references. **


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Great news everyone! The author who plagiarized my story has taken it down! Many thanks to all of you who supported me and messaged the author or Fanfiction on my behalf. This chapter is for you guys to celebrate!**

The limo took me directly to the hotel. I got my key and went up to the floor second from the top (the restaurant was on the top floor). I had just finished changing into a robe when there was a knock on the door. Two men obviously hired by my mom were smiling just outside my room. They were different from the ones I saw this morning.

"Hello Sirena, we were sent-" two hands hit their pressure points and they lay unconscious on my floor. I wasn't even phased by this…not even when Hikaru and Kaoru marched in _on top of them_.

"Hey guys, whatcha doing here?"

Kaoru spoke as he hung up a dress bag on a coat rack. "We brought your dress and we're here to do your hair and make-up." Hikaru pulled the hired men into the closet.

"Cool, thanks! But what about them," I asked pointing to the unconscious men.

"We'll leave them a note from you thanking them for their hard work and they'll leave by the morning. Ugh, I recognize these two. Glad we got here before they could touch your hair."

They began immediately and I must say, they weren't as rough as the people who did my hair and make-up this morning. Kaoru did my make-up, he was gentle and made me look quite soft. Hikaru did my hair, doing a simple updo, but letting plenty of curls frame my face gracefully. When they were done, I looked at myself in the mirror.

"Damn, you guys do good work," I said. "Seriously, this is awesome."

"It's no big deal," they both shrugged. They checked their watched. "You've got 30 minutes to change! Hurry!" They grabbed my arms and the dress and forced me into the bathroom chanting, "CHANGE! CHANGE! CHANGE!"

"I GOT IT ALREADY, GEEZ!" It only took me a minute to change and hot DAMN! They did a great job! They altered the front so it was more closed and they added more of the same cloth to the back so it looked like a low-ish scoop. They also seamlessly (well I couldn't see the seam) sewed up the whore slit in the skirt. I put on a simple garnet with gold bracelet with matching earrings and simple gold colored pumps. I looked in the mirror. Not bad, but I'd still rather be in jeans and a t-shirt. Or even my Ouran uniform.

I came out of the bathroom and the twins glanced over. They looked impressed with their work. "You look good Kotone-senpai."

"Thanks guys, how much time do I have until D-day?" They looked confused. Right. American thing… "Let me rephrase that…uh…how long until I have to go to hell?"

They checked their watches. "Ten minutes." I nodded and grabbed my clutch. I took the elevator and was at the restaurant with 2 minutes to spare. He was already there in a Hugo Boss* suit. Now I looooooove men in suits, but honestly it made him look like a pissed off banker who just got dissed by his secretary, Deborah, and didn't get a promotion...who just ate an unsatisfactory bagel.

Then he saw me. He gave me his usual CT scan, then said "The dress was altered."

I smiled. "You're right it was, it was too long." Haha throw you off a bit hot shot. He did look taken aback, but then he grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"I'm so sorry I left you on the dock this afternoon. Can you ever forgive me?" His eyes searched mine seeking some sort of pity. Tough luck buster.

I gave him a fake smile, like Kyoya. Or Sai*. "Oh, that's okay." _No it's not, you were a DICK!_

"Shall we?" He offered me his arm. I had a quick mental picture of me pulling out a katana and going 'BANKAI*' and getting my zanpakuto to disintegrate him, freeze him, flame him, eat him, or otherwise physically incapacitate him. All these thoughts vanished as I took his arm with my fake smile again.

We went up to the hostess (Haruhi with red hair? And glasses? WHAT? Is not computing! Mind fuuuuuck!) and Phillipe spoke. "We have reservations under 'Gonzalez'." I'm assuming this is his fake name so his rabid fangirls won't stalk him while he eats foi gras.

"Yes sir. We have your reservation right…er…" She pretended to look around for the name. She checked the sheet, the menus, the wine list, then finally her pocket. She found it. "Here it is! Right this way sir!" She grabbed two menus and ran away. Five minutes later she came back. She bowed. "I'm sorry, I was wondering why I couldn't find you."

Wow. That's funny. She led us back to a table. Mori and Kyoya were at one table sipping wine. (Probably grape juice) Mori was dressed normally, except now he had blonde streaks in his hair and wore a pinstriped suit. Also he had an eyepatch with a scar running down his left cheek. Kyoya was wearing a white suit. He now had blue eyes and his hair was slicked back. He reminded me of the angel of death or something…

Anyway, we sat down and began looking through our menus. Then I heard a thump thump. I looked up. Phillipe was obviously ignoring it. I heard a louder THUMP THUMP and then a BANG! The doors to the kitchen flew open and a cart flew out. Hunny flipped off of it as the cart flew past our table, landing like a gymnast then bowing. Phillipe was the only one in the restaurant that didn't politely clap.

I took a closer look at Hunny. Oh. My. Gosh. He was wearing a white shirt with a black vest and black pants. He wore his wig from the Fullmetal Alchemist cosplay. He carried Usa-chan in his left arm (he was wearing a vest too) and a stool with his right. He looked adorable and to me he kinda resembled Naghiko from Shugo Chara!*. No wait! Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji*…only shorter.

Phillipe put his menu down. "Finally. It took you long enough waiter."

"Oh, I'm not the waiter," Hunny said. He set up the stool and placed Usa-chan on it. "He is." He was pointing to Usa-chan. I snorted and turned it into a cough.

Phillipe looked confused and Hunny stared politely for a second before saying, "Usagi-chan says welcome to the Tokyo Hotel*. I am his handler, Ritsu. He asks what you would like to drink."

"Just water for me," I said quickly. Phillipe finally snapped out of it and indicated the same as me. Hunny quickly packed up the stool and Usa-chan and found the cart. It was parked next to Kyoya and Mori's table and had its hazard lights on. Wait what? I guess food carts come with turn signals now…fuckin awesome.

Hunny flicked a switch and turned on his right turn signal and rode/pushed the cart back into the kitchen. Two minutes later he rode the cart out again like a magic carpet and applied the hand break to stop in front of our table. He placed two goblets in front of us and poured our water neatly. He replaced Usa-chan on the stool and stood there with a pad and paper, silent.

I thanked him for the water and after a moment Hunny said, "Usagi-chan says you're welcome and he would like to know if you are ready to order yet?"

Again, the jerk ordered for me. "We will have the toasted scallops with the lemon vanilla-glazed turnips and a smoked beef filet." Jeez that sounded so FRICKIN EXPENSIVE! Hunny wrote it down for Usa-chan, then grabbed a paddle (wtf?) and rowed back into the kitchen. Dude I wanna try that…

Phillipe was nervous apparently, because he decided to tell me the entire history of 'the little black dress' and stilettos. After another 20 minutes I heard a train whistle. No way…

Sure enough, the cart came chugging out. The cart looked like the Little Blue Engine that Could*, except without the face and the blue-ness. Riding on the cart was Hunny and Tamaki wearing a toque that was 4 ½ tall lying down*! (…Nobody gets it…) the train cart thingy pulled up next to our table. Did I mention Tamaki now had an impressive mustache that was waxed into a curl? (He looked like the dude from the Baratie*.) And he was speaking incomprehensible French? Anyway, Tamaki who I guess was the chef, placed our food in front of us and blabbed on in French. Hunny held onto Usa-chan and then said, "Usagi-chan would like to know if you need anything right now?"

"Nope-er, no we are fine, thank you." Tamaki tipped his hat to us (which very nearly decapitated Mori at the other table) and they pulled away in their cart-tray converted thingy back to the kitchen.

We began eating silently, Phillipe a little annoyed by the obviously weird waiter and even weirder chef. Hunny came to check on us several times, first in his hover craft cart and later…in his miniature horse drawn cart. Seriously what the hell? It was hilarious, don't get me wrong, but how did he get a miniature horse into the kitchen without the cooking staff having a cow? Honestly, I didn't care the horse was about the size of a German Shepherd and it was so FUCKING CUTE! I wasn't even thinking when I got up from the table when it was coming.

"Sirena? Sirena, sit down you are making a scene!" Bugger off, you're just jealous cuz a horse is cuter than you!

When Hunny stopped the miniature horse in front of our table I immediately asked, "Sir, may I please pet your horse?" Hunny nodded. I kneeled and gently stroked his muzzle. His eyes closed lazily, so I began scratching his chin and he loved that. He was well groomed, his black coat gleamed and his muzzle was velvety. The load wasn't a problem for him at all, seeing as the cart itself was very small (as was Hunny) and miniature horses are known for their strength. The horse (Tora-chan) was just beginning to nuzzle my neck (and I was considering giving him a turnip) when I was pulled up by my arm.

I turned to look at Phillipe. He was livid. "Stop this at once! You are acting like a child."

I smiled and said, "Forgive me, I forgot myself." I sat down again. Hunny was just pulling away when Phillipe finally blew up at me.

"What is this? Why is this date going so wrong? What is everyone's problem?" He paused, then glared at me. "This is all your fault!" _Um, excuse me?_ "Why are you always so happy? Everything about this date went wrong and all you do is smile."

I shrugged. "I haven't found a part of this date that I didn't like." Hunny rolled his eyes behind Phillipe's back.

"You know what? I'm done here. This was a mistake to go out with you, everything has been a disaster since this date has started."

"Um, are you blaming me for bad music, sailing mishaps, and homosexual relations? Why?"

"Because! You haven't complained once! Are you just immune?"

"I guess so."

He threw down his napkin. "I'm leaving."

"Okay." He got mad at that.

"You…you're impossible! How your employers stand you I don't even know. You're not tall or skinny enough and you're a freak. You AND your coworkers, especially that one with the bunny."

I couldn't take it anymore. I punched him. In the groin. Then while he was doubled over in pain I punched him in the face. HARD. He must have been kind of a wuss cuz it knocked him out. People all over the restaurant who heard him yelling began applauding. Hunny hopped off his cart and Mori and Kyoya hauled him away.

"He won't remember the last part of your date," Kyoya said with a smile…creepy… "We'll charge the dinner to his room."

Hunny came over and put a hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay Koto-chan?"

"Yeah, right now I just really want to punch something…" I was still seething. _I'm_ a freak? Seriously being vertically challenged is in no way a qualifying trait for a 'freak'. The skinny thing didn't bother me but what right does he have to insult someone he doesn't know? Ugh it pissed me off.

Hunny's hand enclosed mine. "I have a punching bag at my house. Wanna borrow it?"

"Sure." Without any further delay, Hunny pulled me out of the restaurant, to the elevator, out of the elevator and into a limo. "But what about the-"

"Kyo-chan and Tama-chan will take care of it." He didn't let go of my hand until we reached his house and the dojo. Neither he nor I spoke as he handed me a gi and indicated me to a bathroom. I was glad to be out of that atrocious dress and even more glad when I saw a punching bag.

"I'll be in the meditation room next door," Hunny said. Then he left. I was relieved…I would feel self-conscious if he was watching me take out my anger at an inanimate object. I stretched like I normally would for dance and then began pounding on the punching bag. All the while, stuck in my head was the song 'Die Mother Fucker'. I don't really remember if they were good punches or if they were strong…I just kept punching, taking out all my anger at Phillipe, my mom, and myself on the item.

After I completely wore myself out, I went next door to the meditation room. I knocked and then opened the door. Hunny had already got up. "Feel better?"

"Yeah. Thanks a lot, for everything."

"No problem Koto-chan. By the way, it's really late. Wanna spend the night?"

"I'll have to call…but you probably already did that." He nodded, grinning. I smiled too. "Ami-chan brought some pajamas and your uniform and your bag and books."

"Cool. Um…what about your parents?"

"I told them yesterday you would be spending the night."

Here I blushed. Am I really that predictable or is he really just that psychic? Or did he plan the whole thing…*mental stroke of an invisible beard* "Alright. Can I use a shower?" He smiled and pulled me to the room I stayed last time. Hunny left for a shower himself. In the room was my nautical themed overnight bag. I pulled out my cell phone and sent out a mass text thanking EVERYONE for their help and silently betting myself $10 that Tamaki would reply with something cheesy. I got out my things and showered quickly. When I got out, I was dressed in my anchor pajamas. I checked my phone and yup! I owed myself $10.

There was a knock on the door. I opened it up and Hunny was there in his blue-with-pink-bunny pajamas. He brought cake. I smiled. "How did you know?"

He hopped on my bed. "Cake makes everything better." _Yes it does!_ It was chocolate with chocolate frosting.

"Give me a second, I want to brush my hair first," I said. I ran my brush through my hair and put it up in a bun.

"I like your hair down Koto-chan." I blushed. That was a random comment…

"Well thank you Hunny-Mitskuni, but I need to put it up for tonight so it will curl nicely tomorrow. I'll wear it down then okay?"

He nodded, smiling, then produced two forks. I jumped onto the bed and we both dug in. The cake was finished in 5 minutes and I was feeling sleepy.

"Mitskuni, I'm really sleepy now…" He understood. He took the plates and took my hand and kissed it. "Goodnight Mitskuni." He paused a second, then quickly (as though he needed to do it before regretting it) he cupped my cheek with his free hand and kissed my forehead quickly. I felt myself flush red and I felt like I had a fever.

"Goodnight Koto-chan." He smiled a bit then left the room.

I got up, brushed my teeth, then got into bed. I lay in bed for a bit, then I sat bolt upright.

"Holy shit I like Hunny-senpai!" I blushed just saying it out loud. I wasn't going to stress over it though…I'm not the sort of girl who makes the first move or is even bold with a guy…there's no way I would make a move on Hunny…besides, I doubted he even liked me like that. But that kiss…I touched my forehead and it all came back to me.

"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?"

**A/N: I don't own Hugo Boss, the song Like a Boss, Natuto, Bleach, Shugo Chara!, Black Butler (Kuroshitsuji), Tokyo Hotel, The Little Blue Engine That Could, Victor Borge, One Piece, and the song Die Mother Fucker by Lamb of God(?).  
**

**AND I'VE NEVER OWNED OURAN!**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: SUPER BIG UUBER THANKS TO THE PEOPLE WHO DREW FAN ART FOR ME! You guys are seriously awesome and I wish I had a Deviantart account to thank you all, instead my sister Principessa Dell'Opera (read Gratia Plena) favorited and commented for me. THANK YOU! Check them out, they are really good. Who knows, maybe if I reach 30 chapters I'll ask my friend to cosplay Kotone for me! Anyway! Onward.**

Monday morning I woke up to a knock on my door. I got up, opened it, glomped Nowaki, ate the food he brought me, dressed, brushed my teeth and hair, and packed everything up. I met Hunny in the foyer. He and Yasuchika had apparently finished their kick-your-ass meet and greet cuz Yasuchika was picking himself off the floor, looking pissed.

Then he saw me. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE," he shouted, horrified.

"I spent the night in your spare bedroom."

"…I don't believe you."

I put my hands up. "Alright kid you got me…secretly I came here last night at midnight to watch you sleep and stalk your socks. Also I came here to create a space ship to take Hunny-senpai and I back to our home planet of Udon."

"I KNEW IT!"

"I just made that shit up." He was confused. Whatever. Hunny and I got in the car with Yasuchika and were off. Hunny lent me a long overcoat to wear since Mother Nature decided today's weather would be 'freeze your balls off with a chance of rain'.

I got several looks when I got out of the car at Ouran, mostly the ladies were like 'what?' some were like 'I wanna be her!'. I ignored them and acted as though this happened everyday. When the vehicle stopped, Yasuchika high tailed it to anywhere but where 'the aliens were'. That kid has issues.

Just then, I had one of those feelings….the feeling that someone was watching me. I turned to look and didn't see anyone. I was going to ignore it but I got that feeling again and someone whispered 'that's her'. I spun around and no one was there again.

"What's wrong Koto-chan? Are you cold?" Hunny looked concerned.

I whispered back to him, "I'm getting one of those feelings that someone is watching me, but yes, it is a little chilly."

This is why Hunny is awesome: he wrapped me in a hug and we began crab-walking sideways all the way to the ginormous Hogwarts*-style doors that led into Ouran. The fangirls thought this was cute. At the threshold he stopped and leaned in close to my ear. "I don't see anyone unusual but tell me if you have that feeling again Koto-chan."

I giggled a little. He leaned back a little confused. "Your breath tickled my ear." I squeezed him a little. "Thank you Hunny." I released him and we walked to our respective classrooms. Well actually, we walked about as far as the staircase when I heard "Takashi!" and we were both scooped up and run to our respective classrooms at an inhuman speed. FUCKIN LOVE MORI! In a totally platonic manner. Actually, all I could really think of when he scooped me and Hunny up for his morning sprint to class was _Wow, he really looks like Kurogone from Tsubasa*…and then again Tamaki looks like Fai…he even sounds like him…in a less spastic way._

That feeling didn't go away…I swear I saw a head out of our SECOND STORY classroom window. Twice. Then a third time I thought I saw a camera flash. Damnit. I discreetly pulled out my phone and texted Kyoya (because Tamaki is no help in this sort of situation).

_Text Sent: Sorry 2 bug you but hav you seen som1 outside the window lookin at me?_

I waited and I saw Kyoya hand his phone to Tamaki. Huh, apparently he doesn't understand text language…anyway I got a text from Kyoya's phone but I believe Tamaki typed it because it said:

_Text Received: O.O OMG IS SOM1 STALKIN MY LUVLY NIECE?_

_Text Sent: I don't think so. But I saw a camera flash me and I think som1 wuz watching me this morning._

_Text Received: Shall I call the police? :( No1 touches my niece!_

_Text Sent: NO. And im not ur niece! -.-"_

_Text Received: T.T Kotone is so mean! D:_

_Text Sent: Yes I am. Ill talk 2 u and Kyoya lunch. Don't txt back or we'll b in truble._

Thank goodness this time he didn't and none of us got in trouble. Apparently my 'stalkers' are not ninjas because I saw a flash of short brown hair three times after I texted Kyoya. I walked with him and Tamaki to the lunchroom where we met up with everyone else.

"…So this is the first day they've watched you? Are you sure they are stalking you," Haruhi asked while ignoring Tamaki who was trying to get her to make him a bento.

"No, I can't be sure, but I'm the only one that saw them this morning and just now about six times during class…"

"Shall I have my police force look into it," Kyoya asked 'pleasantly'. Police force? Crap man, this guy really is a scary…if Voldemort and Sauron* had a kid, their kid would be less scary than Kyoya…

"That won't be necessary, I doubt it will happen again," I said as I blindly ate something the twins gave me. (It turned out to be calamari, it freaks Tamaki out.)

It did happen again. For the rest of the day I saw a flash of these mysterious ninja-failures (Like Naruto* if he hadn't learned the Shadow Clone technique). Just for fun I mumbled 'Sharingan*' and 'Byakugan*' the next two times I saw a flash of them. Didn't work.

When I went to Club that afternoon, I was the first one there. I changed into my Club outfit and walked out. There were three girls waiting in the room. They weren't wearing Ouran uniforms, (they were some nasty shade of burgundy) so naturally I thought they were lost.

"Pardon me, but are you three lost? Can I help you in any way?"

They turned to me and they all gasped. Wow so cheesy. "She's so CUTE," the tallest one squealed. Unfortunately I'm used to this so I waited for the 'awws' to stop, then repeated "Can I help you?"

The tallest one reached down to my level and stroked my cheek lovingly. (Gettoff gettoff GETOFF!)

"I shall see you later my lovely maiden."

They were all about to leave when I realized something. "You guys were the ones stalking me today weren't you?"

They all smiled and again the tall one spoke. "All will be answered in due time." Well gee thanks for nothing bitch! Go back to your kitchen and make a sandwich. (I was pissed. I say weird shit sometimes.)

Club was so busy I didn't get a chance to tell anyone about my encounter with the three girls from an unknown school. After everyone left we had a meeting.

"Kotone, if you don't mind, will you bring in your harp sometime so I can assess what your skill level is so I can order the appropriate music for you?"

"No need Kyoya, it's over in the corner over there," I said pointing. I asked Joey and Sasuke during lunch to bring it over. They dropped my harp (and my car) off. Everyone was surprised to see a massive harp-ish shaped blob…I guess no one really pays attention to what's _in_ the music room besides the Host Club…seriously, since I've been here I've found a piano, a trumpet, several cellos and a hurdy gurdy lying around (where they got a frickin hurdy gurdy is anyone's guess).

Anyway, I walked over to my harp and began taking off the covers. "This is my big harp, the one you guys saw in my room was a lap harp with fewer strings and it's much more portable." I pulled off the last of my large covers and mentally I was thinking about the theme in Legend of Zelda* when Link opens a chest…the do do do do do do do do da da da da da a dad a do do do do da da da da DA DA DA DAAAAA! Looks like Kotone found the harp! Anyway, I ran my finger up the strings playing the easiest scale known to man.

"ZOMG!" WHOA! WHERE the hell did Renge come from? And why is she wearing one of those weird Santa suit/dress things? "Kotone-senpai, this will be perfect! Your lilting music will add the perfect background for the Hosts to entertain ladies as they eat delicate pastries and marvel at the falling snow outside the window!" Uh…ok… Tamaki seemed to agree with her, because he was sparkling almost as much as she was.

"Anyway…" they both stopped sparkling and Renge disappeared into the floor. "What do you want me to play? Christmas stuff? General winter stuff?"

"I think classical music would be most appropriate," Kyoya said. OKAY! Tchaikovsky* it is! Hey, he may be Russian, but there's snow in Russia and I dunno when it comes in Japan. Russia is awesome anyway, it has Ivan* and vodka.

"Alright, if you want I can play a sample of what kind of music I think would be appropriate." Kyoya nodded, and I launched into a 'Lake in the Moonlight' arrangement I made. The song was from the Swan Lake Suite* and I thought would be a very pretty backdrop to snow. I dunno, for some reason snow+swans=beautiful backdrop music. I got really into it, concentrating only on my fingers and the tone and letting my hands fly over the strings. I ended the piece and let my hands gracefully come down to rest on the soundboard.

I heard applause, and that's when I got self-conscious. Honestly, I love playing the harp, but I get so into playing I forget that there are actually people watching me…I always worry that I'm making a stupid face. So yeah after I was done and everyone started applauding, I blushed, immediately put up the pedals and was about to stand up when I looked at the Host Club…who weren't clapping.

Oh no…it wasn't them that were applauding my red face and flustered self. It was my non-ninja creepy stalker ladies!

"My dear," the tallest one began in a very Tamaki voice. "Your musical talent is quite astounding for a first year student (bitch say WHAT?) and I'd like to extend an offer for you to visit our school so you may pursue your musical talent further."

I interrupted her. I felt like Kumajirou*. "Who're you?"

"Ah! Forgive me for being so rude. I am Amakusa Benio, but you can call me Benibara-sama. (Heh…no thanks.) These two lovely ladies with me are Maihara Chizuru and Tsuwabuki Hinako. I-" she twirled…oh brother. "Am the president of the St. Lobelia's Girls Acadamy Zuka Club!" Epic pose.

"…Huh?" What the hell?

Tamaki answered, he sounded worried… "They are the equivalent of the Host Club, they know about Haruhi and tried to recruit her too. However their Club's main focus lies in the arts." _Rather than in the entertainment of women…though by the way they're acting towards me, I'd have to say both._

A loud voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "Don't you dare compare your pathetic Host Club to my lovely organization, your 'Club' is not even CLOSE to our level!" Benio and the other girls gave another epic pose. Which turned out to be another epic fail.

"So…why have you been stalking me," I asked, carefully putting away my harp. (That's rather hard since the harp is about as tall as Mori.) Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hunny's grip tighten on Usa-chan, Mori's jaw twitched, Kyoya stopped writing, Tamaki and Haruhi looked surprised, and the twins looked a little annoyed.

Benio waltzed up to me and tilted my chin up to her face, again violating my personal bubble. "As I said earlier, your serving skills, academic record, and musical talent render you as a perfect addition to the Zuka Club…please say you'll visit the school." She batted her eyelashes at me.

Creeper. I took a step back. "Um, no that's okay. I'm very happy with Ouran, but thank you for your offer," I said politely. She was not deterred.

"That's what they all say (who's they?) but you must _see_ to believe our wonderful school."

"No, that's okay," I repeated pleasantly. "I looked into all the private schools in the Tokyo area before deciding on Ouran. Including Lobelia."

Benio didn't speak for a minute. Gotcha! I already nixed it early on! "But did you ever visit the school?"

"Yes. Twice." This was getting annoying, I'd seen the school, hated it, and moved on. Lobelia was actually the only school I visited and I didn't like it because a) it wasn't co-ed (way too much estrogen) b) they had a feminist attitude toward society and c) their music program was too cheesy…it was all based on musical theatre and the Zuka Club. Ouran's music program was a Club which suited me better, should I have chosen to do that Club (honestly, spending time with the Host Club is way more entertaining). "It's a beautiful school, but I much prefer it here."

Benio was getting a bit frustrated. "Because of the-" she sniffed. "Host Club?"

"Yeah, that's part of it," I said. "I can honestly say that there is not a single dull day here." True enough. I mean, just today I was stalked by three girls, hugged by Hunny, I played my harp, I learned shit in class, served ladies expensive tea and cheap coffee, and I ate lunch! (But not in that order.) This was a very good day!

"Okay, so take us through a day in the life of 'Kotone'."

I couldn't resist. Mori already had a boombox ready. He handed me Renge's spare microphone. "Well the first thing I do is: Eat my breakfast. LIKE A BOSS*! Drive a car. LIKE A BOSS! Go to classes. LIKE A BOSS! Remember homework. LIKE A BOSS! Direct fangirls. LIKE A BOSS! My own uniform. LIKE A BOSS! Serve some coffee. LIKE A BOSS! Promote cosplay. LIKE A BOSS! Acting chibi. LIKE A BOSS! Get more cake. LIKE A BOSS! Swallow pastries. LIKE A BOSS! Send for my harp. LIKE A BOSS! Text a Host. LIKE A BOSS! Getting stalked. LIKE A BOSS! Call on chakra*. LIKE A BOSS! Eat a bento…"

The twins were rolling on the ground laughing, Tamaki looked mildly amused, Kyoya's pen was smoking, Haruhi looked both confused and humored, Mori's eye twitched and Hunny said "That was a great song Koto-chan!"

I tossed the mic back to Mori and didn't make a face as they stared at me. Then they broke out into applause.

"That was another amazing example of your musical expertise Kotone-san," Benio said. The other two girls were wiping their eyes and saying things like "so beautiful" and "what wonderful musical talent".

"…Yeah okay," I said wierded out. "Kyoya what is next on the agenda?"

Chizuru looked horrified. "Benibara-sama! They have so corrupted Kotone-san's mind that she no longer uses the proper honorifics!"

Hinako nodded in agreement and ran to me to clutch my hands. "My dear Kotone-san, you must use the proper honorific for-"

"Whoa, wait, since when am I using an improper honorific? Kyoya isn't my senpai!" I pulled my hands away from Hinako.

Hinako blinked. "But as a first year, you must show respect-"

"See there lies the problem. I'm not a first year. I'm in 2-A with Kyoya and Tamaki." The girls blinked, confused. Dumbasses. Seriously, do your research before you go and stalk someone!

"No matter, all the more reason you should come to Lobelia," Benio said.

I ignored her. "So anyway Kyoya, anything else you wanted from me?"

He adjusted his glasses more firmly than usual. No worries man, they were pissing me off too. "Hunny-senpai suggested to me yesterday that you perform an excerpt from 'The Nutcracker*' as that ballet is generally performed in December."

"Which dance would like for me to do?" I raised my eyebrow at Hunny though I was talking to Kyoya. He smiled an innocent smile at me and I couldn't help but blush. He enjoyed me performing.

"I-"

"THE DANCE OF THE FLOWERS!" Benio shouted.

"THE ARABIAN DANCE!" Hinako requested.

"A PAS DE DEUX!" Chizuru squealed.

For fucks sake! Enough from the peanut gallery! "I'll do the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy for you tomorrow when I have my pointe shoes." Just then Hunny came up behind me and tapped my shoulder. "Ye-how did you get these?"

He was holding my shoes. "I called Chiru-chan too and asked him to bring them with your car." Oh gosh. _Ichiru, I love you but I swear I will strangle you with a piece of pasta the next time I see you._

"This works better, since we can make all decisions concerning your music talent today so you will have plenty of time to prepare." Damn you Kyoya and your logic! I can just hear the Sorting Hat scream RAVENCLAW!

"Okay…but I don't have the mus…wait, of course you have the music don't you Hunny-senpai?"

He grinned and held up a CD. "Chiru-chan said track 12 and he included a pair of shorts for you to dance in!" Wrong. _Ami_ my all-knowing maid only gave me shorts to dance in because she knew that I would have to dance in my school uniform and that I would look 'cute'. Again, I love her, but she will meet her demise by means of a vacuum cleaner…somehow.

I was just musing on how to do the deed when Chizuru and Hinako each took an arm and dragged me over to the girls' changing room and tossed my shoes and shorts in after me.

"Change quickly Kotone-san, I am very eager to see more of your talents," Benio sang. When I didn't respond she asked "Do you require some help?"

WHAT THE FUCK? "HELL NO!" I pulled off my jacket, tie, pulled on the black shorts and left my skirt on and ran out of the changing room and launched myself onto Mori's shoulder for sanctuary. He patted my back comfortingly and Hunny climbed up on Mori's other shoulder to pat my shoulder gently.

"BENIBARA-SAMA!" I almost fell off of Mori. Poor guy, I jumped so much that my skirt rode up and covered his face. He still remained stoic. "Thank goodness for shorts eh?" I commented to him, fixing my skirt. He nodded vigorously.

Cizuru was the one that called out, horrified. "Sh-she said a bad word!" The rest of the girls gasped audibly. _Well, technically hell is a noun, but who's really caring, oh wait. The Lobelianators, that's who._

The rest of the Host Club looked unimpressed with my oath. They were still rather bored when Benio shouted, "THIS IS ALL YOUR DOING! You have corrupted her pure mind to accept your poor excuse for language! I'm disgusted! And how you have trained her to become a parrot and perch on the shoulders off the tall one! (Dude, it's way more fun than it looks.) You have used her atrociously and she deserves better than this!"

Okay, I have to put my foot down now. I patted Mori's shoulder and he let me and Hunny down off his shoulders. "Actually _Benio,_ they did not corrupt my mind, Mori-senpai offers his shoulder for rides, I do not sit there for the purpose of entertainment. Also, I learned that 'language' prior to me transferring to Ouran."

She gaped. "Ladies don't swear!" No, but sailors do.

"Not all ladies swear, your right. But it is a part of my character to utter a swear or two when I feel it is appropriate."

The twins laughed at this and asked "What would be appropriate right now?"

"Well, since I'm being interrogated by stalkers who now want me to dance for them, I would have to go with…fornication."

The Lobelia girls paled. "They are encouraging you," Hinako said.

I grinned a bit deviously. "They never told me to say fuck." Their jaws dropped. "Fuck. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck and fuck! Fuck, fuck and bugger! Bugger, bugger, buggerty buggerty buggerty, fuck, fuck, ass! Balls, balls fuckity, shit, shit, fuck and willy. Willy, shit and fuck and tits*." The twins looked like they died from laughter. The Lobelators looked like they died of horror and of overload of swear words. Hah I took their swear word virginity.

"Anyway," I said. The girl's heads snapped up. "I refuse your offer to visit Lobelia again. You may stay to watch me dance, but afterwards, I must ask you to leave because we will be busy planning the Club's activities." They nodded. I pulled on my pointe shoes and self-consciously did several exercises and stretches. Hunny looked super excited. He grabbed the boombox from earlier and put in the CD.

"Ichiru said track 12 right?" _Funny, I don't remember track 12 being Tchaikovsky on a mix CD like that one. Maybe I'm wrong._

"Ready Koto-chan?"

"Yeah," I said, getting into the starting position. Then the song started. I heard a dog bark. Shit this wasn't the song. _Ey yo get it twisted. This rap shit is mine! Mother fucker! Aw fuck it! Yeah! Fuck what you heard*._ "THIS IS NOT THE SONG," I stated loudly. Hunny looked confused as he pressed the 'next' button. _Yeah. Uh uh uh! Uh uh! Oh snap, look at that, there you go, where you at, slow it down baby, we should go crazy, tempt you, tease you, anything you want to do, I'll give it to you just how you like it boy*._ "SKIP IT." Hunny giggled at the lyrics. NO this was not funny and right about now I hate anything ironic. _I'm the one I'm the one who knows the dance I'm the one I'm the one who's got the prance I'm the one I'm the one who wears the pants. I wear the pants*!_ "NEXT!" _Kiss kiss fall in love! Maybe you're my love*!_ Okay Ichiru. Screw the pasta. Suffocation by zucchini plan is now confirmed. "Uh, no." _I wanna be the very best like no one ever was*…_ WHAT THE HELL? "Nope." _If you're not drunk ladies and gentleman  
Get ready to get fucked up. Let's do it!*_ The sad part is that all of these are songs I dance to (and like admittedly), but none of them are the song I need. "DEFINITELY NO." _Tian tian de __Lollipop__ Oh __Lollipop __Oh__ Lollipop__ Oh*!_ THAT'S KOREAN! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THAT! "…" Hunny went ahead and skipped the song. I noticed something; he doesn't skip them right away because he _liked_ the songs! Seriously, he was smiling and nodding along! _3,6,9 damn she's fine hopin she can sock it to me one mo time. Low. Get low, Get low 6x. To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall) to the sweat drip down my balls to all these bitches crawl!*_ "…Hunny?" He skipped it. I felt like dying from embarrassment until I saw the Lobelia girls. Wow, they look like they died inside. I wonder what else Ichiru put on that CD… _Every night in my dreams, I see you. I feel you*…_ CHEESE! Gosh that's so cheesy it comes in a can with a label of FAKE! The Lobelia girls looked like they had come back from the Russian front…meaning they looked awful. It was pretty funny actually. FINALLY, if my mental calculations were correct, this was track 21 (how convenient for Ichiru to forget) and it was THE DANCE OF THE SUGAR PLUM FAIRY! Thank you! Now I could just get it over with.

I danced the song, again losing myself in the music and only thinking about the choreography and what came next. I didn't care who watched, all I felt was the music…it made me happy. In dancing, I was able to ignore my embarrassment and have fun. I was so glad that it ended though, I wasn't properly warmed up and I don't like doing pointe in socks (the last time I danced in socks I ended up tripping down some stairs…).

I heard clapping again, this time the Hosts were the ones that were clapping. Haruhi looked impressed, Kyoya was writing hentai I MEAN data, the twins were giving me these calculating looks, Tamaki was starry-eyed, Mori was a giant rock, and Hunny looked thrilled. "You were so beautiful Koto-chan!" I blushed…Oh come on! What girl wouldn't wonder if he was talking about my dancing or me! The lack of a noun was a crucial point to the comprehension of that sentence!

Before I could ponder more sentence structure nonsense, two arms circled around my body and I was sandwhiched in between Hid-what's-her-face and Chi-chi-who-was-not-of-Dragonball-Z*-but-is-from-Lobelia. "We have her Benibara-sama!" _Yes you do. Now let go._

I don't think letting me go was on Benio's mind. "Now that we've seen your true talent we simply MUST have you for the Zuka Club!" _True talent? You should see what I can do with a knife, some line, and a tiller extension._

Wait. Did she just say 'must have me'? "Um, like I said I'm not interested. Can you please let go of me?" Their grips were kinda tight…

"How can we let go of you when you have so much potential? I never want to see such beautiful dance go to waste! Say you will join us!"

"No." I'll join you when Mickey Mouse* puts on a light parade using rollerblades and Christmas lights! Oh wait that happened…I'll join you guys when Mario* wins the House Cup! HA! That will NEVER HAPPEN!

"That's not an option." Whoa what? All of a sudden they began dragging me back to wherever they came from…rather quickly too.

"Hey! Let go!" I began struggling, but they were pretty strong. They forcibly turned me toward the door and began marching me to my doom. "MITSKUNI!" I said it out of instinct, but immediately I felt a pair of arms pull me back by my waist and I found myself being held by Hunny.

He turned to the Lobelia girls and boy did he look scary. His eyes were blazing and he looked positively FURIOUS. He hugged me to his chest and shouted, "BACK OFF! SHE'S MINE!" Okay, can I die now of embarrassment?

Unfortunately, no I couldn't because Kyoya had to step in and say, "He's right. She is an Ouran Academy student and has been kind enough to let you stay as long you did. But now, you have overstayed your welcome and I must ask you to leave." Oh gosh, I thing the temperature dropped to below freezing after _that_ comment. "Also, please don't return for either Kotone or Haruhi. Next time, we will press charges." _Evil glasses glint._

Benio 'hmphed' and left with her two cronies shouting over her shoulder, "You're making a huge mistake!"

"You're right," I shouted back. "I should have kicked your asses out sooner! I WOULD NEVER GO TO LOBELIA!" The door slammed. I waited two seconds before returning Hunny's super-duper-death-doom hug. "Thanks…I owe you one."

He smiled and hugged me tighter. "…Do you mean that," he whispered.

"…Yes…what were you planning?" We walked over to the couch and sat down so I could undo my shoes.

"Can the Host Club have a sleepover at your house this Saturday?"

My whole mind was on red alert, mainly because a) it's the Host Club and b) it's my house (aka where my mom lives) but then I remembered; she's on a business trip until next Wednesday. "You know what Hunny, sure. You can tell the Club."

"YAY! Hey everybody, Koto-chan is going to let us sleep over at her house on Saturday!"

The twins yayed, Haruhi sweatdropped, Kyoya wrote this down on his online super calendar, Mori clapped once in false ecstasy, and Tamaki began sparkling and dancing around screaming, "HOORAY! I WILL GET TO SEE THE LIVING CONDITIONS OF KOTONE!"

Living conditions? Okay...if you say so, you've seen them before. Haruhi began grumbling, something about 'shopping' and 'a sale'.

"Sunday is your shopping day," I asked. She nodded.

"There's a sale on pork that day at _Quickmart_."

"If you have time today, I can take you and we can get pork at half off." Her eyes widened.

"There's also a special on vegetables if you have that rewards member card."

"I don't have one," she said.

"But I do," I sang. "Do you have your list? Would you mind going today instead of Sunday?"

"No, that would be great." I packed up my stuff and helped Haruhi clean while everyone else did...actually I have no idea what they were doing, I wasn't paying attention.

"We'll be leaving first," I said as Haruhi packed up her bag. Hunny ran forward to give me a hug. He picked me up and twirled me a bit. I was laughing at it, cuz it was fun. I wasn't even thinking when I wrapped my arms around his shoulder and kissed his cheek. I think my heart stopped. I blushed and said, "Uh...I'm sorry."

He twirled me around again, his cheeks a bit red. "That's okay Koto-chan, I wanted to give you a good-bye kiss too!" Oh thank goodness he said it like that, that makes this situation almost socially acceptable. Except the kiss wasn't. He cupped my cheek and went for the apple of my cheek but...well I'm an inch taller than him and he had been standing on tip-toe. He went flat just as he went in for the kiss...so his lips ended up skimming my cheek and moving down to my jaw. He ended up kissing my neck just beneath my jaw.

When he pulled back we stared at each other for a second until I said, "Uh, I need to go with pork to get Haruhi, I mean uh...grocery store. Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." I grabbed Haruhi and ran out of the Host Club saying, "JOEY WILL BE BY TO PICK UP MY HARP BYE!" My brain was screaming _GTFO NOW_!

I ran out the room, down the hallway, down the stairs, turn left, wrong way, turn right, down another hallway, to the grand hall and out the door. Chad was waiting with my car and the keys.

"This is your car," Haruhi asked.

"Yeah just throw your stuff in the back." I grabbed the keys, shoved them in the ignition, buckled, made sure Haruhi was buckled, then hit the gas. 0 to 60 faster than it was legal. That was only until we reached the main road. On the main road I went the speed limit. I glanced over at Haruhi. "You okay?"

She looked a little windswept (figuratively). "Y-yeah, I'm fine."

"Sorry, I needed to get that out of my system." _It didn't work._ We were silent as we went to Quickmart. Haruhi and I used the 'divide and conquer' method and got her shopping done in under 10 minutes. She even picked up a bit extra since she was saving so much. (I convinced her to buy some new dish towels that she said she needed.) I picked some stuff up for me too.

"Why are you getting pocky*?"

I grinned mischievously. "Why _shouldn't_ I getting pocky, this stuff is delicious! They're 800 yen for a pack of 12, plus it's buy 3 packages of 12 and get the fourth one free! My staff loves pocky!"

She blinked as she pulled out her wallet to pay. I handed the guy my rewards card and Haruhi's eyes popped at how much she was saving. "So...the pocky aren't for you?"

"Some of them are, gosh it's been since before I moved that I last had pocky. Didja know it's super hard to find them in the U.S.? That's why I'm so excited, cuz it's LOCAL!" The cashier was giving me a funny look as he handed Haruhi her bags.

"No, I've never left the country so I wouldn't know much about America*." _Well I'll tell you, he's got dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, he loves cheeseburgers, and fo reals y'all, Japan* and him are homies! Kidding._

"That's okay, though you should consider studying abroad in college, I'll bet they'd love you at Harvard*." Maybe carrying this much pocky isn't normal cuz the cashier was giving me a funny look. "Hmm...do you think I should get more pocky?"

Haruhi blanched. "What? No! Save your money, how are you going to even eat that much pocky?"

"It's not just me, it'll be Ichiru the cook, my maid Ami, my mom's maids Zakuro and Sango, the house maid Rin, Joey our mechanic/chauffer and Sasuke...I think he's the gardener but when he doesn't do that he checks up on my boats. He doesn't like pocky though. We're all pretty convinced he feeds off of the souls of recently departed squirrels." Okay now both of them were giving me funny looks. The guy handed me my receipt and we left.

"So, where do you live," I asked as we got near my car.

"I can walk from here Kotone."

"And what kind of person would I be letting you carry all those groceries _plus_ your school bag home? Get in the car." She smiled and nodded. She directed me to her apartment complex where I dropped her off. She waved and I sped off back home.

When I got home Joey was waiting to take my car around to the garage. I popped the trunk to get my stuff. "WAIT!" He froze. "Sit in the car and shut your eyes!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you really expect me to drive like that?"

"No! Just sit there a minute." I wanted to get the pocky out before he noticed...otherwise he would DEFINITELY eat them all.

"...So am I being kidnapped? Didja open the trunk so you could throw me in and drive me to some remote location where you could search me for money then kill me by a deadly dosage of grape juice?"

"...Yes?" I hid the pocky just inside the front door, then slammed the trunk. "You're cool to go. I'll spare your life this time."

He opened his eyes and changed gears. "You are so merciful, O Mighty Master."

I stuck my tongue out. "I try." Quickly I dropped off my shoes and bag at the door. (Ami takes them upstairs for me. It's her favorite job because she gets to use the dumbwaiter.) I took the boxes of pocky down to the kitchen and placed them on the floor. Ichiru was singing to his iPod*. He listens to food songs to get him into his 'cooking mood'. Tonight he was using the leftover turkey from a roast to make turkey noodle soup.

"_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, it's better than yours. Damn right! It's better than yours I could teach you, but I'd have to charge!*_" Nice Ichiru. He was listening to the rock version of the song, which made it 10 times more awesome. Anyway, I could hear the music blasting, so I shouted.

"ICHIRUUUUUU!"

"GEEZ-US*!" He clutched the spoon to his apron and spun around to see me. "DAMN Kotone-sama I swear you almost blew out my eardrums what the hell?"

"You wouldn't have heard me anyway if I hadn't yelled."

"Right...why are you looking at me like that?" I was giving him a sadistic creepy smile.

"I liked the music Ichiru." My riatsu* grew and I was now figuratively cloaked in the kyuubi's* chakra.

"Aw damn." He put the spoon down and stomped over to the refrigerator. He pulled out a zucchini the size of my forearm and stuck the end in his mouth. "Ha-ee?" This wasn't the first time I attempted the death-by-zucchini trick.

"Nope." He growled and pulled the zucchini out of his mouth with a pop. "This time I'm going Darth Vader* on you."

His eyes widened. "No! Not the Force*!"

"Yes!" I 'took aim' and slowly began pinching my index finger to my thumb. Ichiru grabbed his throat and 'collapsed' onto the counter.

"Kotone-sama! Is that-what are you doing?" Ami walked in just as Ichiru fell to the floor.

"I'm killing him by using Darth Vader's technique 'choke'. Whatcha got for me Abbs?"

"THAT IS FROM NCIS*!" She loves her TV series.

"Who said it?"

"Gibbs!"

"What episode?"

"Like all of them."

I nodded at her. "So what didja wanna ask?"

"Oh, I was just wondering when you got home. Ichiru will you please stand up so I don't have to step over you to hug Kotone-sama?"

"Can't. I'm dead."

"You're alive again. Whoopee," I said. He stood up and began stirring the soup again. Ami came and gave me a hug.

"So how was your day," she asked.

"Good. Ooh! I almost forgot!" I ran up to the entrance of the kitchen and shouted to the rest of the house, "Let's have some yum yums*!" Silence. "I have snacks*!" Still silence. I went back down. "It's not working."

"What sort of snack-OHMIGOSH IS THAT POCKY?" Ichiru teleported next to her to inspect the snack food.

"Yup."

Ami ran to the kitchen door. "POCKY!" Immediately I heard some thumps, bangs, and footsteps and the kitchen door burst open as Joey, Sango, Zakuro, Rin, and Sasuke piled into the kitchen.

After each one of us had a box in hand, the all important question came up. "Why didn't you buy more," Zakuro asked.

"I was with Haruhi and she thought that 48 boxes of pocky would be enough." Everyone sighed, tutted, snorted, or said something along the lines of 'fuck that' or 'I want more'.

"So guys, uh...we're having company from Saturday into Sunday." They all froze.

"Patron," Sango asked. I shook my head and everyone sighed in relief. I'm the favorite in the house.

"No, the Host Club is coming for a sleepover."

"Sleepover? You guys are what, 16 to 18 year olds," Joey asked.

"Yeah, so?"

"...Nothing I guess," Joey said eating another pocky.

"This will ruin your guy's appetite," Ichiru said, sucking on a pocky stick. We all rolled our eyes.

"So, basically the house needs to be clean, guest rooms prepared, and we're going to need a lotta food."

Ichiru nodded. "Sweets, veggies, some sort of meat..."

"Oh and we need the best popcorn you can find."

He nodded. "Boy Scout popcorn*?" I nooded. "Okay, I'll order some."

"Order Girl Scout cookies* too? Pleeeeeeeease," I asked.

He gave me a thumbs up. "You're the boss. What kinds?" Everyone glanced at me. My staff loves Girl Scout cookies. Mom doesn't.

"Get everyone's orders but the tab is on me. Hide them too, cuz if mom finds them she'll smack a bitch." There were shouts and cheers and the girls all hugged me. "Oh, put me down for a couple of Tagalongs* and Trefoils* and the shortbread ones with fudge on the bottom. They keep changing the name I can't keep up..."

"Oh I can't wait," Ami said. "It's been ages since you've had friends stay the night! And the first time boys have stayed over." Everyone grew silent at that statement.

"No one breathes a word to my mom. If anything, they are business associates that came over."

They all nodded. The last thing we needed was mom finding out about the Host Club.

**A/N: *I don't own the Harry Potter series, Tsubasa Chronicles, ****the Lord of the Ring series, Naruto or any of the techniques, Legend of Zelda, Tchaikovsky, Swan Lake, Hetalia, 'Like a Boss' by The Lonely Island, the Nutcracker, that speech from The King's Speech, 'X Gon Give It to Ya' by DMX, 'Tap That' by Megan McCauley, 'I Don't Have to Try' by Avril Levigne, 'Sakura Kiss' by Cheiko Kawabe, the fist opening theme of Pokemon, 'Shots' by LMFAO featuring Lil Jon, Lollipop by f(x) featuring SHINee, 'Get Low' by Lil Jon & Eastside Boyz, 'My Heart Will Go On' by Celine Dion, Dragonball Z, Mickey Mouse, Mario, Harvard, pocky, iPod, 'Milkshake' by Goodnight Nurse, RayWilliamJohnson, Bleach, Star Wars, NCIS, Dane Cook, Boy Scout popcorn, Girl Scout cookies, Tagalongs, and Trefoils.**

**Phew, see ya soon! Sorry that took so long. READ Gratia Plena!**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: It's raining, it's pouring, and I'm updating early!**

Saturday came quicker than I thought it would, that day Tamaki had us dress up as woodland fairytale creatures. During lunch (when Tamaki thought of this brilliant idea) the Club room was transformed into a clearing in a thick green wood. There were some fruit trees and tree stumps for the ladies to sit and moss covered the floor as a nice cushy carpet. When I walked into Club that afternoon Tamaki, who was the 'fairy king' was being given hell by the twins.

"Haha! Milord, why are you wearing-HA! A dress," Hikaru laughed. Kaoru was clutching his stomach in mirth.

"THIS IS NOT A DRESS! THIS IS A ROBE STOP LAUGHING YOU TWO!" He was dressed in a long-sleeved silver 'robe' lined in purple (hmm…again sorta like Fay from Tsubasa*) with huge white and purple butterfly wings (made from cloth on wire) that spread two feet above his head and ended halfway down his calves. I couldn't help but chuckle at Tamaki's reaction before saying, "It's not like you two are dressed much better."

They both struck a cheesy pose. "We look great," the twins said simultaneously. "But especially you…Kaoru," Hikaru said. I snorted again. They were both shirtless and had the bottom half of a goat…they were fauns. They had hooves, goat hair pants, the works! On their heads they had goat horns, and they admittedly looked pretty good. In my mind I was calling them both Mr. Tumnus*.

"Be careful with your costumes, they are made from authentic goat hair." Kyoya came out dressed as a cyclops…well sort of. He was dressed in an apple green toga with part of his chest showing, but he had covered one eye with a flesh colored eye patch that was sprayed to match his skin tone, he had a horn in the middle of his forehead, pointed ears, long nails, and Grecian sandals that reached just below his knees.

"Um…Kyoya I hate to say this, but your eye-"

"I know it should technically be in the middle, but because of _someone's late planning_ I have to settle for this." He gave Tamaki a creepy evil smile…

"…Right…so what am I going to be?" Kyoya pointed behind me. "WHOA! Mori you look so cool!"

"Thanks." He was bare-chested as well, but his bottom half was a _horse_! I'm guessing his legs were in the front, but the back looked pretty authentic…I'm thinking engineering or something.

"How did you even get in that?" He shrugged, then handed me a leather quiver and strap. "What's this WHOA!" He picked me up and put me on his back. Getting the idea, I strapped the quiver on him and loaded all the arrows he gave me. Also I put his bow over his shoulder.

After I hopped down, he handed me a bag. "Oh boy, my reward," I said sarcastically. I didn't even bother reading the label…it's better not to know. Anyway, just as I was going in, Haruhi was coming out dressed as Link from Legend of Zelda*. Actually, she was supposed to be an elf, with a forest green tunic, grey breeches, brown boots, brown fingerless gloves, a green cap, and pointed ears, but hey, she could be ANY elf. I'm sure even Legolas* would be jealous of her get-up. "Nice," I said as she walked passed.

"It's better than some of the other costumes I've had to wear." _Oh, I believe it. I believe it even more than Naruto*._

I pulled out my costume, noticing the one word: 'pixie'. "Oh wow…" It was a short, one strap, cream colored dress edged at the top with green embroidery of leaves and vines. Luckily, the twins provided the appropriate shorts, because the dress came halfway up my thighs and the edging was not straight; it was ripped to look like it was snagged by trees. I also wore long brown gloves that came up past my elbows and thigh-high, pointed toe, tight brown leather boots. Everything fit perfectly. I also had pointy ears (wow, who knew they were so easy to attach?) and best of all, wings. They were brown, edged in cream to match my outfit, but they resembled more like dragonfly wings, unlike Tamaki's butterfly ones.

I barely stepped out of the dressing room when the twins grabbed me, took me to another closet, sped me through make-up, and tossed me a mirror. My eyes were now tastefully embellished in green eye shadow. I also had slightly pink blush and deep red lipstick. "Wow, I love it."

"We knew you would." They tossed me back into the Club room…ugh I was beginning to feel like an old shoe (which in my mom's opinion can be anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 years).

"Koto-chan?" I stood up and glanced to where I knew Hunny would be standing. My jaw dropped.

HOW CAN HE LOOK SO HOT AND CUTE AT THE EXACT SAME TIME? He wore silvery imitation chainmail for sleeves and breeches, shoulder guards, brown gloves, brown boots, and this long emerald tunic that resembled a loincloth (that came to his ankles) that looked like it came from the Crusades…or a Warhammer* game. Also, he was carrying an ax. Damnit, so now he looked hot, badass, AND cute.

"Wow Hunny, you look er-OOMPH!" He tackled me in a hug, effectively cutting off my powers of speech.

"Koto-chan looks so cute!" Finally he released me.

"Thanks Hunny-senpai, you look really cute too. So…what are you?"

"I'm a dwarf, Koto-chan!" Oh how appropriate. He smiled sweetly, then pulled me over to Mori for our starting pose. He climbed on top of Mori's back first, then he and Mori both lifted me onto Mori's back to sit in front of Hunny, sidesaddle (I'd sit normal, but I'm wearing a mini dress. Sitting astride is not happening). The twins stood next to Mori, Tamaki in the middle, Kyoya to the right of him and Haruhi on the end.

We were standing there for about a minute (it wasn't quite time to open yet) when I realized I was slipping off. I guess Hunny realized this too because he wrapped his right arm around my waist (so the ladies couldn't see when they walked in) and pulled me closer to him. "I won't let you fall," he said with a smile. It was an innocent gesture, but I still blushed. I think the twins noticed, because they loudly began talking about colors of blush. Hooray.

After we did the whole 'Welcome!' thing, everyone scattered and I ended up in the kitchen (wow there are so many sexist jokes that could come out of that). I made about a dozen cups of hot chocolate, then brought them out to the foresty room for the ladies and members. The background music was 'the Firebird Suite*', you know, like from Fantasia 2000*, where the forest nymph makes everything green? Yeah, the music from that. So pretty…ahem. Tamaki was off quoting 'A Midsummer Night's Dream*', the twins were mock spearing each other then making up in nose-bleed inducing embraces, Kyoya was writing something down on parchment (he's apparently a smart Cyclops), Haruhi was just…well being Haruhi, that seems to work best for her, Mori was eating a granola bar and oatmeal near Hunny (that was Tamaki's idea, because apparently girls love to see centaurs eating whole grain), and Hunny was sitting with his girls eating cake. After I offered everyone else some sort of beverage, I came to Hunny's group and placed a tray of hot chocolate on a 'tree stump'. Several ladies (and Hunny) reached for them from the benches they sat on. The benches looked like they had literally grown out of the floor then twisted into bench format. Then the questions started.

"So Hunny-senpai, what do dwarfs do all day?" _OOH LEMME ANSWER! They either mine gold or kick ass!_

"How tall is a dwarf?" _Better question! How short is a dwarf? Answer: Shorter than Snow White*._

"Why are you carrying an ax?" _The better to see you with…or cuz I didn't bring a knife to cut the cake._

"Why is there a fairy with you?" _…uh…I plead the fifth? Oh shit this is Japan, that won't work._ All the girls were staring at me now. I normally flit around from one group to the next delivering drinks…I just realized I was standing next to Hunny for the past 10 minutes, lost in thought and drinking one of the hot chocolates.

"Er…I'm not a fairy, actually I'm a forest pixie!" I perched on the side of the couch and flexed my shoulder blades, making my wings wiggle. The girls 'ooh'-ed. "I'll just be going then…"

"Wait Pixie-chan!" Only Hunny could make that statement sound cute and never ridiculous. "Stay with us for a bit! Ladies," He addressed his customers. "Let her stay with us okay? Forest pixies bring good luck!"

Their eyes grew wide. "They do?" Hunny nodded enthusiastically and I blushed because that's my default reaction to anything he says nowadays.

"Um…I really should be doing something useful…" Like not goggling over the sexy hotness carrying an ax to my right. He caught my hand.

"Please stay Pixie-chan, won't you grant us a bit of your luck by staying with us?" Now he was starting to sound like Tamaki.

But it worked. "Okay, I'll stay." He smiled at me. Then his eyes glided over to the ladies and winked. We were going to do a 'cute' act. Then he stood gallantly and kissed my hand. I smiled. Then he knelt down and pressed his forehead to my hand. "Lady Pixie-chan, will you grant me a bit of your luck?"

I smiled. Gosh he was cute. "I shall." I placed my hand on his forehead regally. "By the power I've received through the spirits of the forests, I the pixie Kotone, gladly bless you with good luck through all the endeavors of your life."

I patted his head and he would have gotten up if someone didn't yell, "Kiss him!"

"What?" Damnit Renge, you have the worst timing. She was dressed as a leprechaun…I think. Well at least she was wearing a whole lotta green. Anyway, the rest of the girls promptly squealed when they heard this.

"Don't you know," Renge asked. _No I don't know, please explain why I must kiss said hot midget._ "All blessings are sealed with a kiss!" 

I raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"Of course," she said, her eyes growing sparkly. "It's in all the popular manga, like-"

"I'll take your word for it," I replied. I glanced at Hunny and he shrugged. Ah well, might as well. I knelt down and pulled him to a standing position as I stood back up. I kissed his forehead gently. "Please accept this kiss as confirmation of my favor to you."

He smiled and kissed my hands again. "Thank you Pixie-chan, I'm forever grateful to you." We glanced at Renge and the ladies. They was silently squealing and taking pictures with their cell phones. Oh well, we might as well keep in character while we have them going. "Do sit down Lady Kotone." Wow that sounded weird…but it made me sound really important. Mori offered me some granola.

The remainder of the Club I sat next to Hunny and told the ladies about 'my life as a pixie'. Apparently I was reeeally good at this because several other customers came to listen. I told them I was born when magic rained onto a pond in the forest. The water from the pond somehow mushed together and reformatted themselves to become pixie cells and viola! I was born! Also, I apparently met Hunny when he came into my forest and drank from my pond. He also apparently took some water with him and gave it to an old dying oak tree. Thus I granted him good luck for doing this random good deed to the environment. Oh, and I can make trees grow from ANYWHERE. Yeah, I'm cool.

When Club was over, we all changed and gathered our bags. Haruhi would ride with me, and everyone else would follow my car to the house. Haruhi had a small overnight bag with her, but I was sure at least _one_ of the boys would bring her some form of night wear.

After I got the keys from Chad, Haruhi and I sped off out the gates…luckily she wasn't as terrified this time as she was the first time. Jokingly, I glanced out the rearview mirror. "Did we lose 'em?"

She cracked a smile. "No, Tamaki and Kyoya are just behind us."

"Ah. By the way, remember the pocky* I got when I was with you?"

"Yeah…?"

"It was gone in 2 days." Her eyes grew wide. "Yeah, we like pocky a lot."

We were silent for the rest of the trip and we arrived relatively quickly. We grabbed our stuff and Joey took the keys. Ami took Haruhi's and my bag and put them upstairs. She was just running down the stairs when the rest of the Club came.

"Hey guys! OOF!" Tamaki glomped me…squealing about 'hospitality' and 'kindness'.

"KOTONE YOU ARE SO THOUGHTFUL TO INVITE US!"

"Awesome, now will you please get offa me?"

"Kotone-sama?" It was Ami. She was about to tell me something when Haruhi got glomped by Tamaki and I got clotheslined by the twins who were attempting a hug threesome. Not very successful.

"Lemmegolemmegolemmego," I gasped out. Mori lifted me out of their grasp and hung me in mid-air. "Thanks Mori-senpai. Anyway, what's happening Ami?"

"Kotone-sama your-"

"KOTONE-SAMA WHERE THE HELL IS THE POCKY?" Ichiru decided now would be a great time to come up brandishing a spoon and announcing his food preference.

Ami kicked him in the butt with her foot. "You ate it all Ichiru, now will you shut up so I can-"

"Hey Koto-chan? Did you invite someone else?" Hunny smiled at me while the twins swung me back and forth, still being held up in the air by Mori.

"No, why…?" Just then I saw the entire staff run to attention. CRAP THAT'S WHAT AMI WAS TRYING TO TELL ME! "Put me down Mori-senpai, quick!" Too late. The front door banged open and my mother came strolling in, full model mode.

"Kotone are you here?" Before I could reply she began talking again as she walked up the stairs. Zakuro and Sango followed to assist. "Good, your date with Phillipe did yourself no credit, but I was nice enough to comfort him and get a contract out of it. I'm on my way to Amsterdam for the Oscar de la Renta* photo shoot for some FABULOUS minks and furs. I'll be there for a week then back next Sunday for a business function Monday which you will need to attend." She had made it to her bedroom and was yelling through her door. "You will need to wear something black tie as it is a formal winter party (why won't they just call it Christmas, that is just silly) hosted by a very handsome Mr. Oelrichs*. I met his bank attorneys at a meeting last Tuesday (_When was she in Japan? Why didn't I hear about this?_) and they _insisted_ I come; he used to know your father. He has a son who is about your age, so please be on your BEST behavior. (_Aren't I always? I mean, except for Phillipe, but that was hardly my fault. I blame the sabotage._) Also, there will be a shipment of jewelry coming in from a company called lia sophia*, you will need to store it in the bank vault until I call you but be VERY CAREFUL with it." Now she was back out of her room dressed in Mark Jacob* jeans, thigh high boots by Gucci*, a fashionable sweater from one of her previous Victoria Secret* photoshoots and a crème pea coat by Guess*. Sango and Zakuro came out behind her, three large bags in tow for her weeklong trip to Amsterdam. (Her commentary was for them as much as it was for me. Her 'weeklong' trip translated to 'pack me all my usual shoes, some warm coats and gloves, a bikini just in case, some pants, skirts, and only the best tops'. They had to guess the rest.) She began walking down the stairs. "Furthermore, I need you to fax me your schedule in detail, I need to host your father's annual Christmas party for the bank. You may invite several _appropriate_ (meaning only the ones she can benefit from) friends to join us, but make sure they understand that this is a black tie affair and not a slumber party. (Too late! They're already here for that.) I will also send you KOTONE WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?" She just noticed me hanging by my collar. Mori never put me down during her ranting.

Now he did. I bowed to her. "Welcome home mother." She was livid.

"Who are these people?" She eyed Mori and the rest a little warily, but honestly can she complain? Lots of model-caliber boys in school uniforms are in her house. I couldn't see any reason to complain…except they had overnight bags with them.

Quickly I started talking. "This is the Club I'm apart of in school, you met them that one time at Mrs. Hitachiin's house…we're er…here for a long meeting and-"

"What sort of Club are you apart of?" I feared the day she would ask this…

Thank goodness Tamaki is such a charmer. "Suzuki-san, your daughter is part of one of the most prestigious Clubs in all of Ouran, she is a great asset to our events, one of which we will be planning tonight. I hope you are not angered that we are borrowing her to help us plan one of the most _successful events_ of the whole school year."

She blinked. Damn Tamaki, Kudos* to you. "Is this an event committee you are apart of, Kotone?"

This time Kyoya stepped forward. "Ma'am we are a Club assembled for the purpose of entertaining students, using ourselves to 'host' events for the entire school. We are very successful as a Club and gain plenty of _revenue_ from our _exposure to our fellow students_." Okay, give Kyoya a cookie. Damn, she ate that up like she eats protein shakes!

"Oh. I see. Will they be staying the night Kotone?" 

"Yes mother, in separate rooms when we are done planning for the evening."

"Hnn…fine. I'm sending you several options of what to wear to the Oelrich's party, I'll be back late on Sunday. Ciao." She swept out to her car, Sango and Zakuro trailing behind. When they came back in, they closed the door.

The Host Club was silent. The rest of my staff began counting. "One, two, three…" If we got to ten, that meant she didn't forget anything and she was gone for good. "…seven, eight, nine, ten."

Everyone, even the Club exhaled simultaneously. We dodged that bullet by a frickin nanometer…that was lucky.

I turned to the Club. "Thanks. So…what do ya wanna do first?"

**A/N: *I don't own Tsubasa, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis, Legend of Zelda, Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien, Naruto, Warhammer, The Firebird Suite by Igor Stravinsky, Fantasia 2000, A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare, Snow White, pocky, Oscar de la Renta, Mr. Oelrichs (the character belongs to Principessa Dell'Opera and her story 'Gratia Plena'), lia sophia (it's not supposed to be capitalized, that's how the company name is stylized), Marc Jacob, Gucci, Victoria Secret, Guess, or Kudos.**

**Also. IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY READ GRATIA PLENA BY PRINCIPESSA DELL'OPERA DO SO NOW! Mr. Oelrichs is her character and Kotone has already made an appearance in her story. **** Happy reading!**


	27. Chapter 27

Tamaki was the first to respond. "I know! I looked on the internet last night and found all these commoner games that they play during sleepovers!"

…Which is how we ended up playing hide-and-go-seek. We were only allowed to hide on the first floor, meaning grand hall, dining room, bathrooms, parlor, music room, library, and any closets in between. Once we were caught, we had to return to the grand hall. As ridiculous as it was, we had some rather good hiding places. Mori put on a jacket in the coat closet and Hikaru was searching for him for 10 minutes. Then Mori stuck his head under one of the taller lamps and Hunny cried because he thought 'he lost Takashi'. He freaked Rin out because he hid in between the shower curtains, and again later when she found him behind some curtains in the dining room. Kyoya sat in a chair in the library corner for awhile, until I sensed his evil, impatient aura and found him. Haruhi hid behind a plant, Hunny lay across the chairs in the dining room, Kaoru hid in my harp case, Hikaru squeezed himself into the dumbwaiter, I hid beneath the sink in one of the bathrooms (and nearly gave Tamaki a heart-attack), and Tamaki was almost never found because he was too busy staring at the ceiling in the parlor (until I tripped over him. Then Kyoya found Tamaki reeeeally fast).

"Okay, enough of hide-and-go-seek," I said after round 10. "What else should we do?"

"We can dress up Haruhi and Kotone," Hikaru suggested.

"Not happening," Haruhi said blandly. Tamaki almost cried until I suggested we mattress surf down the main staircase. I'd only tried it once before, but it worked pretty well if you had several mattresses to catch you at the end. They loved it. Even Haruhi had fun going down a couple times. I saw Mori crack a smile and even Kyoya went down once with Tamaki to amuse him (I swear they're like a gay couple sometimes…all the girls would be either heartbroken or fangasming.) We did that several times until Ichiru banged on a pot for dinner.

We sat down to the traditional sleepover dinner: pizza.

"…What is it," Haruhi asked.

"It's called pizza, it's a bread crust with tomato sauce, cheese, veggies and meats on it," I said digging into mine.

"Then how come only yours has meat and cheese on it, Koto-chan," Hunny asked. Ichiru knows that I prefer meat lovers pizza, so he made me my own pie.

"I guess Ichiru forgot," I said glancing at Ichiru as he placed another pizza supreme in front of the twins and Tamaki.

"Oops," he said, raising his arms in mock guilt.

"Kotone-senpai, this is delicious, I can't believe we've never had it before" the twins said, simultaneously.

"You've never had pizza before?" Everyone at the table shook their head. "Wow, well thank Ichiru, he made it and he isn't even close to being Italian." I gave Ichiru a thumbs-up. That guy really did make good pizza…maybe it's because my dad picked him up from Brooklyn.

After dinner I was at a loss of what to do. Tamaki was all for a pillow fight but everyone agreed that something would most likely get broken. We all decided to change first, then reconvene in the rec room in the basement. In ten minutes we were back down. The rec room had a projector/movie theatre room that seated 12, a pool table, a huge ass stereo system, a TV with every game console known to man, and a pacman* arcade game straight from an arcade (no duh). The rec room was across from my dance room and another changing room which led to a really large, really cool underground pool.

We all sat in a circle, Tamaki in his sky blue pajamas, Hunny in his pink Usa-chan pajamas (with Usa-chan the bunny in his lap), Mori in a midnight blue yukata (which was SO FRICKIN COOL), Kyoya in blue pajamas exactly like Tamaki's (he mumbled something about a birthday present, but again…GAY! Just kidding, Kyoya is as straight as a die…I like that word, 'die'*.) Hikaru and Kaoru had white t-shirts on and Hikaru wore green pants while Kaoru wore yellow, Haruhi would have worn just a t-shirt, but after convening with her upstairs, she agreed to borrow some striped pajama bottoms with a turquoise top, and I had on white anchor pajama bottoms and a navy blue top with an anchor on it.

"So…what now," the twins asked.

Before the Tamaki could give any suggestions, Kyoya spoke. "I suggest we do 'truth or dare'. It is a classic party game and I would like to get some data to see if it would be suitable for the Club." Uh wow. Okay Kyoya, thanks for that input…geez he's creepy.

"Okay, everyone in agreement," Tamaki asked. We all nodded. "Great! (_He was excited, who couldn't tell._) I'll go first because I'm the King!" He pointed to Mori. "MORI-SENPAI! Truth or dare?"

"Dare." Mori looked thrilled.

"I dare you to…uh…sing a ridiculous song!" We all snorted. Mori? Sing? Wow…just wow.

"What song is Takashi going to sing," Hunny asked.

I pulled out my iPod. "Here, you can choose a song from here to sing, some of them are pretty weird. You can skip the swear words too if you like."

He accepted my iPod but said, "That won't be necessary, a dare is a dare." Oh boy. He put my iPod on shuffle and picked the first song. He listened to it without showing any emotion (he would make a great drill sergeant). After a minute he plugged in my iPod* to my iHome* and bowed to us.

"I now present you with this song." The music began and he sang monotonously. "_I am really special cuz there's only one of me. Look at my smile I'm so damn happy that people are jealous of me. When I'm sad and lonely, I like to sing this song. It cheers me up and shows me that I won't be sad for long oh oh oh, I'm really happy, I can barely breathe. Puppy dogs and sugar frogs and kitten's baby teeth. Watch out all you mothers, I'm happy as hardcore, happy as a coupon for a twenty dollar whore ba da da da, I'm really happy I'm sugar coated me. Happy good, anger bad that's my philosophy. I can't do this man I'm not happy. I am really special cuz there's only one of me. Look at my smile I'm so damn happy the people are jealous of me. These are my love handles and this is my spout, but if you tip me over then mamma said knock you out. I am special I am happy I am gonna heave. Welcome to my happy world now get your shit and leave. I am happy I am good I am…I'm out of here. Screw you*."_

We all burst into laughter and applause. Wow that was just priceless. Mori singing the Happy Song? Never would I have guessed that. Travis Willingham* would have been more likely to sing that song! Mori turned off the iPod and I saw he was a bit pink. He was a good sport about it though. Mori pointed to Hikaru. "Truth or dare."

Hikaru looked like he could barely breathe but he still wheezed out "Dare!"

Mori blinked. He was thinking. "Go grab a clean pair of underwear and wear them on your head for the rest of the game."

Hikaru shut up immediately and Haruhi and I almost died. Hikaru looked like he had been bitch slapped by a walrus. "Seriously?" Mori nodded. Hikaru shrugged. "Okay." He went upstairs and came back down wearing a pair of red boxer briefs on his head.

"Wow Hikaru, that really matches your hair," I commented.

"…shut up Kotone-senpai," He mumbled. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Hey look on the bright side, at least the customers will be able to tell you apart by your underwear."

Hikaru grinned at me. "Only one problem with that Kotone-senpai."

"Yeah? What's that?" 

"This isn't my underwear."

My jaw dropped. My brain immediately began to recite the song _These are not my pants*._ "Kaoru! Darling brother! Truth or dare!"

Kaoru gave his twin a skeptical look. "I don't trust you, so truth."

"Okay….uh…haha! When was the last time you waxed?"

Kaoru blushed. "I waxed my chest last Tuesday just like you!" I was snorting by now.

"Uh…Hunny, truth or dare?"

"I'll do a dare Kao-chan."

"Okay, whenever someone says dare, I dare you to shout out 'I'm a bloody ninja'." That shouldn't be too hard since he practically _is_ a ninja.

"Okay Kao-chan. I'M A BLOODY NINJA!"

"Cool," Kaoru said.

"Kyo-chan! Truth or dare? I'M A BLOODY NINJA!" Yes you are Hunny, yes you are.

"It would be cowardly to ask for a truth, so I will do a dare."

"I'M A BLOODY NINJA! I dare you to walk around in a pair of heels for us with some really funny music!" Oh my gosh I think Kyoya would have killed Hunny if it wasn't for the fact that he was a bloody ninja.

"Fine. Kotone, will you provide me with a pair of your heels to walk in?"

"Um (snort) I don't think (haha) any of my shoes (hee!) will fit you (heh) so I'll get you a pair of my mom's." I ran up to her room and back down in thirty seconds flat. I had in my hand a pair of black 5 inch stilettos. Hey if you're going to do it, go hard. "Try these on, they should fit."

He gave me a look that could have sent me back to the ice age, but put on the shoes silently. The fact that they fit him perfect made me laugh because 1) HAHA Kyoya is wearing lady shoes! and 2) HAHA! My mom has big feet! (Which I did not inherit since I wear size 5 ½.) He stood and wobbled around in them.

Tamaki grabbed his arm to steady him. "No worries mommy! Daddy will support you through this dare!" The twins and I were dying now.

Kyoya scowled. "That's really not necessary, now can I please complete this dare quickly?"

"Right! The music," Hunny said. I motioned for him to come near me and I whispered into his ear. He smiled, then giggled, then nodded. "Good idea Koto-chan!"

I brought out my iPod again and began fiddling to find the song. Finally I found it. "Okay, strut your stuff Kyoya!" My iPod began playing. _I'm bringing sexy back. Yeah! Them other boys don't know how to act. Yeah! They think your special what's behind your back. Yeah! So turn around and I'll pick up the slack. Take it to the bridge…*_

Kyoya was walking the best he could while the twins took pictures, Tamaki yelled about 'taking the first steps' and everyone else laughed their asses off. I could practically see the purple goop that was rolling off him in waves, but all I could thing of was: _"I'm Duke Devlin, I own the new game shop. You guys are making me sexy, you won't like me when I'm sexy." "IT'S THE WITCH!"_

"How long do I have to wear these things?"

"Patience Clack-yoya*, you have to wear them for the entire song."

The twins were howling now. "Clack-yoya?"

"Yeah, cuz the heels make a clacking noise." And because I read a fanfiction*. Gosh I love truth or dare fics, I wish UNseated4TH* would update…

Clack-yoya, I MEAN Kyoya walked around the room, completely pissed until the song ended, when he pulled off the shoes and gave a glare that silenced all of us. He looked at me evilly. I matched his glare and for a second, we wizard-lightning-battled* until we both called a truce and looked away. "Kotone, truth or dare?"

"I'M A BLOODY NINJA!" Jeez, I forgot about that. It apparently scared the crap out of Ami too, who brought down a pot of tea, chips, popcorn, cookies, trail mix, and marshmallows. NOM NOM NOM

I ate a cookie. "Dare." Everyone gasped. Yeah, I'm gonna die.

"I'M A BLOODY NINJA!"

"I dare you-"

"I'M A BLOODY NINJA!"

"-to put on all the dancewear you can in under 1 minute. You will begin in ballet tights and a leotard."

I grumbled. "Okay, field trip to the dance studio." We all went and I led them into the changing room. I changed in one of the stalls and grabbed the oversized rack full of costumes.

"And go," Kyoya said, glancing at his watch. Immediately I fell over pulling on a pair of legwarmers, then a ballet shoe and a jazz shoe, I grabbed a tutu skirt, pulled on some arm warmers and a pair of gloves, threw on a vest and a tie, a short lyrical dress, a pair of booty shorts, a pair of boy's basketball shorts (that was from an old hip-hop routine), a studded necklace, puffy sleeves for a shepherdess outfit, a ballet folklorico skirt, a scarf, and a sombrero before he shouted "TIME."

"Wow Kotone-senpai, you dress fast," the twins commented, circling me.

"I had to, oftentimes I had back-to-back dances, so I had to change fast." I began taking it all off. The twins helped me with the hangers. After two minutes, I changed back into my pajamas and we returned to the game room.

"TAMAKI," I shouted gleefully. He smiled. Poor bugger doesn't know what's comin'. "Truth or dare."

"A king isn't scared of anything! I choose dare!"

"I'M A BLOODY NINJA SQUARED!" That works.

"Okay, come here, it's gonna be hard to explain." He clambered over the twins and leaned in close to me. I whispered into his ear for several seconds and he snorted in laughter.

"Really?"

"Really really. Go sit back yonder. HARUHI! Truth or dare!"

"I'M A BLOODY NINJA!" Tamaki sat down next to Haruhi with a straight face.

Haruhi blinked. "But isn't it Tamaki-senpai's turn?"

"He's doing his er…thingy (Hunny pouted because he couldn't proclaim his shinobi-ness.) right now. You're the only one who hasn't gone soooooo T or D?"

"I choose dare."

"BLOODY NINJA AM I!" Nice job mixing it up Yoda*.

Tamaki looked at Haruhi _very_ seriously. "In Soviet Russia dare choose you," he said in a thick Russian accent. The Host Club was silent for a second, then we all cracked up. Even Kyoya and Mori cracked a smile.

"T-that was your dare," Haruhi wheezed out. Tamaki nodded sagely, trying not to laugh.

Hunny was clutching his stomach by now. "I'm…NINJA…blood 'n' stuff…"

"Y-you made him speak in a Russian accent Kotone-senpai?"

"In Soviet Russia, Russian accent speak you." We laughed for another five minutes before I could breathe enough.

"Okay Haruhi, you have to uh…stuff as many marshmallows in your mouth while singing the opening theme of an anime."

"WHAT?"

"In Soviet Russia, marshmallows stuff you."

"I have to SING?"

"Also in Soviet Russia opening theme sings you."

"Yup, it doesn't have to be opera or anything…just sing an opening theme while cramming marshmallows," I said.

"…These are big marshmallows," she commented. They were normal s'more size marshmallows.

"C'mon Haruhi, it's not that bad. I could have asked you to do much worse…like trying on one of my mom's dresses for the twins."

"I'll do the dare," she said. The twins pouted. She reached for her first marshmallow. "_We are fighting-_" she stuffed the marshmallow in her mouth but I recognized that theme. AWESOME SAUCE!

I began singing along, I really couldn't help it. "_dreamers! Takami wo mezashite, fighting dreamers! Narifuri kamawazu, fighting dreamers! Shinjiru ga mama ni, oli oli oli oh! Just go my way!*_"

She had successfully crammed 6 marshmallows in her mouth and I was the only one still singing. The twins stopped her when she reached for #7. "I-it's all good Haruhi HAHA! You-you're all done." Immediately she stood up and ran for the sanctuary of modern plumbing. I can't blame her.

When she finally came back, I asked the question. THAT question. The one with so many loopholes that bad things have happened because of that question ranging from Disney* Movie mishaps to Burn Notice* take-downs. "So, now what?"

Everyone was silent for a moment. Then 3…2…1…

"We could do karaoke."

"How 'bout telling scary stories?"

"In Soviet Russia, scary stories tell you."

"…"

"Charades?"

"Sleep?" (NEVER!)

"Let's watch a scary movie!" We all stopped. Of all people to suggest this…Hunny wanted a scary movie?

Hikaru spoke first. (After Tamaki's "In Soviet Russia, scary movie watches you." Oh cheese and crackers…) "Uh…no offense Hunny-senpai, but the entire point of a scary movie is to…you know, be scared…can you handle it?"

Hunny began tearing up. Immediately Tokyo was on code red for flood warning emitting from an 18-year-old chibimeister. The flood waters almost burst over the barricades, but we were saved once again by Mori who picked up the mini man and zoomed him to the home theatre across the way. We joined him after two seconds of running into each other. Mori sat next to Hunny in the first row, Haruhi was squished in between the twins in the second row and Tamaki sat next to 'mommy' in the third row. I was about to take a seat to the left of Hunny, but he stopped me with a hand on my arm.

"Sit next to Takashi, Koto-chan. Please?" Hell, I didn't get it, but I trusted him and Mori nodded so I took a seat to the right of Mori.

The twins brought a scary movie called _Hell's Doors_. I was super nervous. I'm not one for scary movies, I was only there because everyone else was watching it. Within the first five minutes, I realized why I was sitting next to Mori. Something jumped out at us and I latched onto the closest thing, which I thought would be Mori, but was actually Hunny. Somehow we both ended up sitting on Mori's lap clutching each other hoping that that would make the movie less scary. Mori participated too…he put his hands on our heads comfortingly. We stayed like that the entire movie and I should have been really embarrassed, but I couldn't bring myself to give a damn. When the movie was over, it was already midnight so we all headed up to the rooms. The twins, Mori and Hunny, and Tamaki and Kyoya shared rooms. Haruhi had her own (she was quite happy that it had a lock too) and I slept in my room.

On my way up, I stopped Hikaru. "Picture," I said waving my phone around.

"What's it for." He wagged his head (and boxers) back and forth.

"Facebook*. I'm kidding. Just for shits and giggles." He struck a pose and took the boxers off. "So who are those anyway?"

"Guess."

"Well I know they aren't mine. I'm gonna guess Kaoru." He grinned and waved goodnight. I was promptly tackled by Hunny.

"Goodnight Koto-chan," he said. He kissed my hand. I hugged him.

"Night Mitskuni," I said quietly. Thus ended our evening of epicosity.

***I don't own Pacman, Yugioh the Abridged Series, iPod, iHome, 'The Happy Song' by Liam Lynch, Travis Willingham, 'These Are Not My Pants' by Five Iron Frenzy, 'SexyBack' by Justin Timberlake, Clack-yoya, Fanfiction, UNseated4TH (READ HER STUFF IT IS AWESOME ESPECIALLY HER TRUTH OR DARE FIC!), Tobuscus of Youtube, Yoda, 'GO!' by FLOW, Disney, Burn Notice, and Facebook.**

**By the way, look it up on Youtube, Travis did sing the Happy Song. It was great…**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I hate school, making me do too much work…but here's your chapter. B**

I wish I could say that I woke up like those people in those Lunesta* commercials, but I didn't. First of all, me being an IDIOT didn't lock the door, so a pair of _lovely_ redheads decided to come in and wake me up by jumping on my bed.

"FUCK MONKIES MARVEL* SHIT TACOS TRACHEA YOU GUYS SUCK BALLS!"

They laughed at my mini Edward Elric* freak out moment before I let evil seep from me like Kyoya. They stopped laughing and began to look scared, then horrified. I gave them an Alucard*-esque grin. "Get. Out."

The left the room faster than you could say, "Actually my blood type is O." Ah well, I looked at the clock. 8:35. Everyone but Kyoya would probably be getting up by now. I put on a sweatshirt that had a picture of a skull with a straw hat on it that said 'You Are A Pirate*'. (Fucking love that sweatshirt. I wear it to all the regattas.) I stepped into the hallway to see the twins cowering behind Tamaki, looking scared. I grinned at them. "No worries guys! I was just working on my 'Beast' (from Beauty and the Beast*) impersonation."

They both deadpanned and gave me thumbs up. "Two thumbs up for your performance." I curtsied.

"Where are the others? Is anybody else up?"

Tamaki rubbed his head (and fluffed his hair) unnecessarily. He makes bed head look good, even I'll say so. "Mori has been up with his shinai for a while, Haruhi is showering, (ahem how would YOU know?) and Kyoya and Hunny-senpai are still sleeping."

I nodded. "There are towels in your bathrooms if you want to shower. Do you want breakfast afterward?" For once Tamaki and the twins agreed that breakfast would be nice. "I'll ask my cook to make breakfast, he'll call you when he's ready. Can you tell Haruhi? I'll get Mori-senpai, I think I can guess where he'll be." They nodded and wandered off. I went back in my room, called Ichiru (who yelled at me for interrupting his dream about steamed dumplings) and changed into a navy t-shirt with music notes all over it, black skinny jeans, my black swashbuckling boots (as opposed to my badass biker boots), and a light blue/navy blue sweater thingy which was really warm. I still put a jacket over it though and I went to look for Mori.

I found Mori right beneath where Hunny's window would be, doing practice swings in a hakama. I stopped for a second and contemplated that he looked like Shuuhei Hisagi* with the vocabulary of that dude Chad* and the skill of Kenpachi Zaraki*…from what I could tell. (Honestly I don't know much about kendo, but he must be pretty damn good to be #1 in kendo.) After I was done dorking around, I stepped forward close enough so he could see me. He finished his last practice swings and turned to me.

"Morning. Breakfast will be soon, if you'd like to wash first."

He nodded, put his shinai in his belt and began walking. He stopped even with me and asked, "Will you wake up Mitskuni?"

"Um…why-"

"Because I'm in the shower."

"No you're…oh." Gotcha. He wanted me to wake Hunny up and give him the excuse… "But why?"

He grinned a little. I pouted ruefully. Sometimes I wish I didn't know how to speak Mori-ish. "Are you sure he'll be happy rather than inclined to kill me?" Mori grunted. _Fine.__But__if__I__die,__I__'__ve__got__him__on__conspiracy__for__murder__and__they__'__ll__send__him__to__Namek*,__the__most__boring__place__in__the__universe!_ Ahem.

I walked back with Mori and we split in the basement so he could go in and shower (apparently his shower stuff was already there) and so I could wake up Hunny. I opened the door, stepped in and closed it behind me. (Who knows what pictures the twins or Kyoya would take if they saw.) Hunny looked really peaceful, his face was relaxed and he was lying on his back, clutching Usa-chan in his left arm. Aww, he was so cute. I sat on the bed next to him and gently moved a bit of hair from his face. He began stirring and his eyes fluttered open.

"'Morning Mitskuni," I said quietly. He didn't seem to hear me and his eyes were unfocused. His hand slid up my arm until he touched my shoulder, then my cheek; I was getting goose bumps. Then without warning, his hand slipped to the back of my neck and he guided my lips to his. I was shocked and paralyzed with surprise, happiness, and just a twinge of sadness, because I knew he wouldn't remember this when he woke up. His lips were soft and his fingers tangled in my hair at the nape of my neck, causing me to shiver. He kissed me for only a second before his head fell sideways and he fell back asleep. One part of my head was saying _oh__thank__goodness__he__let__go!_ while the other part was like _HOLY__SHIIIIIIIIT!__Damnit,__kiss__him__again!_ It took me a second to compose myself (and my racing organ that heads my circulatory system) before I tried again to wake him up.

"M-ahem Mitskuni? I tapped his shoulder and he didn't stir. I tapped his shoulder again and the next thing I knew I had fallen off the bed and Hunny pinned me on the floor so he twisted my arm behind my back and his knee was pressed on my lower back. My head banged into the corner of the nightstand. "OUCH! Damnit…"

"Koto-chan?" His grip slackened a little.

"Morning Mitskuni, do you always do this to people when they wake you up?" What am I talking about, of course he does…

He helped me stand up. "I'm so sorry did I hurt you Koto-chan?" He began tearing up and sat me on the bed checking my face for any marks. He touched my forehead and I winced. He kissed my hands. "I'm so sorry Koto-chan. How is your head?"

"I tink be having de concussion now, a nyeh nyeh*." Hunny paled. Oh shit! "I'm kidding Mitskuni, it hurts a little but I'm fine. I came in to tell you breakfast would be around 9ish, so if you want a shower, you should do it soon."

He nodded, then kissed my forehead. I blushed. "Did I kiss it better?"

I felt my forehead. Now that all the blood was rushing to my cheeks, my forehead wasn't pounding. "Yeah that helped Mitskuni, thank you."

He smiled and I left him alone. At exactly 9:00 am by my watch, Ichiru ran up the stairs to the second floor and banged a pot with a spoon. "MUFFIN BUTTON*!"

Everyone poked their heads out of their rooms. "What?"

"That's Ichiru-speak for 'it's breakfast time'."

Everyone (except Kyoya) came out of their rooms, dressed and ready to eat. Ichiru led the party down the stairs, via riding the railing. I went down after him, the twins double teamed going down another one, Tamaki failed at convincing Haruhi, and Mori held Usa-chan as Hunny slid down.

Ichiru stretched and looked around. "Hey, what happened to the Tonomine*/Kairi Sanjo*/Uryuu*/Harry Potter*/Shigure-with-glasses*/…"

"You mean Kyoya," I asked.

"Yeah, that guy."

"Still asleep. Don't wake him up or he will kill you with a death glare." He gave me a look that said _I__'__ve__suffered__worse__at__the__hands__of__your__mother_.

We walked into the dining room and took a seat. Ichiru and Ami came out with plates and platters of stuff. They placed a pot of miso soup on the table as well as cheese omelets, pancakes, fruit mix, and cinnamon buns. There was a carafe of orange juice and a pot of 'commoners' coffee ("What the hell, this is the _normal_ stuff," Ichiru said.) on the table.

"Nice variety," the twins said appreciatively. Everyone dug in and polished the entire thing off. After breakfast, everyone (being the twins, Tamaki, and vaguely Mori) wanted to see the boats, so we all grabbed our jackets, left a note for Kyoya, (huh, with his glasses off he does look like Shigure, but with Akito's attitude) and stepped outside. We ended up staying in the boat house until lunch (when Sleeping Beauty* decided to join us).

"Mommy, you should really see all her boats," Tamaki gushed.

"Kotone-senpai, would you seriously let us go for a ride on the big one," the twins asked.

"Sure, but the law is to wear swim gear. If you wear a yachting outfit, I'll throw you overboard myself. The other law is no bikinis." Haruhi exhaled appreciatively.

"Why," Tamaki and the twins whined.

"Because it's stupid and impractical. Either do a one piece or wear a rash guard over the bikini."

"But why?"

"Because I said so!"

Our argument continued until we finished our lunch (which consisted of fruit smoothies) then it was time for them to leave. Tamaki and Kyoya would ride together, the twins had their own car, and of course Mori and Hunny would ride together. I offered to take Haruhi home because her apartment was out of the way of everyone and because no one could figure out who would take her home.

"You really don't have to do this," Haruhi said.

"No, I really do. Otherwise you'd be stuck arriving in a limo."

"A Ferrari isn't much better, you know."

"Meh, I have a better turn radius."

"…True."

We arrived at her apartment, I took her school bag and she grabbed her overnight bag. At the door she said "Thanks Kotone, that was actually a lot more fun than I thought it would be."

"Sure thing, and I'll bring the recipe for the smoothies tomorrow. Ichiru says you can freeze them and they taste-"

The door to her apartment burst open and a red haired man yelled "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY DAUGHTER?" He was wearing sweatpants, a shirt that said 'Papa' on it and a bandana to keep his hair out of his face. He glanced at me, who was still holding Haruhi's bag. "ARE YOU TRYING TO ROB HER ON HER WAY BACK FROM A SLEEPOVER?"

"Dad, this is Suzuki Kotone. She's a second year at Ouran. She's in the Club too."

His face still looked at me inquisitively. Hehe, he looks like Spirit from Soul Eater*. "I've never seen her before…"

I bowed. "As Haruhi said, my name is Kotone. I moved here from the United States this past year. The sleepover was at my house. She had her own room with a lock."

Immediately he smiled pleasantly. "Wonderful to meet a _girl_ from the Host Club. Won't you come in for some tea?"

"Umm…"

"Yeah Kotone, you should come in," Haruhi said. I was surprised. I would have thought she would need to do laundry or something…

I shrugged. "Okay."

That afternoon I was mildly interrogated by her father, which I guess wasn't exactly unexpected.

"So you're in Kyoya and Tamaki's class?"

"Yes." 

"What do your parents do?"

"My mother is a model and heads my father's banking business."

"Does your driver have any previous DUI's or traffic violations?"

"Um…no. He didn't drive us, I drove Haruhi here. I've never had a traffic violation and I had a capable teacher." _True__stuff!__I__learned__from__the__Stig*__himself!_

"Ah. Do you have any experience with members of the Zuka Club?"

"Ugh…" My expression was enough for him.

"What do you do during Club hours?" 

"I clean, make and serve tea and coffee, and occasionally participate in the cosplay."

After 20 more minutes of this, I was in the clear for not being a complete weirdo, so then we talked about fashion for a bit, then Ouran (in which Haruhi finally participated in the conversation) and the Club. At around 3:30 I excused myself.

"I have homework to do and stuff for my mom (yay). It was nice meeting you Fujioka-san."

"Please, call me Ranka," he said, shaking my hand. He really was pretty nice when you got to know him.

"I will then. Good-bye Ranka-san, I'll see you at Club tomorrow Haruhi."

They both waved as I left. I drove back home and began my work for mom. I faxed her my class schedule and the Club schedule and an inquiry if I could invite the Host Club to the party (I made each of them a resume, so she really can't say no). I updated my iPod*, did my homework, practiced my harp, watched an episode of Ah! My Goddess* and went to bed feeling pretty good. Tomorrow mom would send me her responses and my choice of dresses to wear. Oh boy.

***A/N: I don't own Lunesta, Marvel, Fullmetal Alchemist, Hellsing, 'You Are A Pirate' by Lazytown, Beauty and the Beast, Bleach, Dragonball Z, Yu-gi-oh! The Abridged Series, Dragonball Z Abridged, Otomen, Shugo Chara, Harry Potter, Fruits Basket, Sleeping Beauty, Soul Eater, the Stig from Top Gear, iPod or Ah! My Goddess.**

**Quick question. Are the * distracting from the story or do you want me to keep them in. Lemme know and please review!**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Guess whose back? Haha, due to the overwhelming votes from you guys, I won't mark my references with an asterisk, but they will still be there at the bottom of the page for your viewing pleasure. ^.^**

The following Wednesday at the Club was considered a 'normal day' since we didn't have a cosplay, so I was busy serving tea and whatnot. Everything was going well until I heard a gasp from several of the female customers. At first I thought it was an 'OMG Haruhi is so brave and sweet gasp', but it sounded different. I turned around and…

HOLY SHIT IT'S RENJI ABARAI! I hid oh so inconspicuously behind a couch and watched him. His face was all red and he sat down next to Haruhi. She smiled and began talking to him and he blushed more and responded.

"That's Kasanoda Ritsu, class 1-D." I jumped as the twins crept up behind me to narrate the poor bloke's life story. "He's yukaza and is the only one besides the Club who knows Haruhi is a girl."

"Whoa, he's yukaza? He's badass."

"He's also part of the gardening club." The twins snickered, but I looked at them completely serious and said, "That's fucking awesome." I think I might have accidently added Kyoya juice in my aura cuz the twins were both giving me panicked looks. Honestly, I thought the fact that a creepy dude like him was in the gardening club was adorable, it was a completely Otomen situation and I giggled at the thought…unfortunately the twins thought this was a sign that I was off my rocker.

I stood and began walking over. The twins each grabbed for an arm to pull me back, but I folded them behind my head and whistled as though I hadn't seen them. (Well they are taller than me…)

I picked up a tray of coffee on my way (by now the twins and Tamaki were observing from behind the nearest couch) and headed for Renji's riatsu and Haruhi.

When I got close enough for them to notice me, I put on a 'Welcome to the Club' smile and said, "Hi, welcome to the Club, would you like anything to drink?"

Haruhi nodded her thanks and took a cup of coffee, saying "Kotone, this is (RENJI ABARAI, I KNOW!) Kasanoda Ritsu, class 1-D. Kasanoda, this is Suzuki Kotone, she's part of the Club, she's one of the few sane people here."

Kasanoda nodded at me, his eyes turned down. Huh, he's shy, not scary. "So…do ya want anything to drink? Coffee? Tea? Hot chocolate?" Sake? Orphan tears? Beetle juice?

Kasanoda's eyes widened a little at the last one (that I said out loud). I looked at Haruhi, who nodded a little. "Coming right up, Kasanoda. Can I call you that?"

"Uh…sure," he said looking at his shoes. I went and brought him back a hot chocolate, while the ladies gave me looks like I was insane. No ladies, I don't plan on dying, no this will not kill me, sure, I'm insane but all insane people are cool. "Here is your coffee Kasanoda-kun," I proclaimed for the girls to hear. Of course it was hot chocolate, but from their distance, I doubt they could tell if it was coffee or chocolate pudding. Kasanoda's mouth twitched a little (my mind was mentally saying "BANKAI! HIHIO ZABIMARU!) and he thanked me.

"Will you sit Kotone," Haruhi asked.

"Sure, I was hoping you both wouldn't mind. So what brings you to the Club Kasanoda?"

He blew on his hot chocolate and glared (I think he meant to glance, but maybe his face is permanently scary like that) at me, saying "Visiting Haruhi."

"Cool. So I hear you're in the Gardening Club, do you like it?"

He brightened a little, probably because talking about flowers is a lot easier than talking about himself. He still looked angry and murderous, but the light blush on his cheeks told me he couldn't and wouldn't hurt a baby bumblebee. He went on for a straight hour talking to me and Haruhi about the roses he planted and all the other wonderful plants he had. Apparently he was also making friends with the members too, but for now he was still considered 'that creepy guy' at the Host Club. Meh who cares? I'm still 'that short girl' to half the ladies who come to the Club. I resisted the temptation to ask if he had any cool tattoos or killed anyone recently, but that would be stereotyping and that's not very nice. When he stood up to go, we were about to say our good-byes when he made a request.

"Um…Haruhi? Would you mind if I asked Kotone-senpai to sit with us next time I request you?" (Wow that sounds GAY! But he's as straight as a line. And anyone who has taken that shit show called 'Algebra' knows how damn straight it is. I mean all algebra is, is a bumblefuck of lines.)

"Not at all, I actually enjoyed having Kotone with us. Kotone would you mind joining us next time?"

"Uh, sure! Just as long as I wouldn't be intruding. And Kotone's fine. Did I get the hot chocolate thing right by the way?"

He nodded, looking at the ground. "It was delicious."

"Cool." We said our good-byes and he was off to go be scary and to frolic with his freesias. I turned to Haruhi. "I like him. He's normal for being a badass yukaza dude."

"Sure, if you could call that normal."

"It's more normal than Tamaki and the twins who've BEEN LISTENING TO OUR CONVERSATION THIS ENTIRE TIME FROM THEIR OH-SO-INCONSPICUOUS HIDING PLACE BEHIND THE COUCH."

They came out looking a little sheepish, holding mini microphones on fishing poles and using giant earphones. Lame.

"You know if you wanted to find out what me and Kasanoda and Haruhi were talking about, you could have just come over and joined in the conversation."

The twins and Tamaki shook their heads. The twins whispered dramatically. "Bossa-nova is scary…"

"Y-yeah, Casanova really scares me," Tamaki said, rocking back and forth on the ground.

"Oh yeah, he's soooo scary. Watch out, he might poke you with a tulip, and then you'll be sorry." Haruhi stifled a laugh by turning it into a cough.

The twins popped up on either side of me, completely recovered from their mini-panic attacks. "So…Kotone-senpai, you're coming home with us today."

"Uh…I am?"

"Yeah, your mom called our mom." I stiffened. That can't be good. I went over my mental checklist. Yeah I got the jewelry, I was super careful, even though it had a lifetime warranty, I faxed over my schedule and a list of the Host Club functions, and who I wanted to come to the party, (aka, the Host Club. They already said yes right after mom left.) I sent her a list of 'prospect outfits' I could wear to this black tie affair, and I even cleaned my room AND the dance studio. She hadn't sent me a selection of dresses to choose from…What. Does. This. Woman. Want?

"She wants you to come to our house, our mom's gonna meet with you."

I sighed in relief. "Really? Oh thank goodness."

Just then, Hunny jumped onto my back and I super blushed. (I CAN'T HELP IT, THE LITTLE MAN KISSED ME AND IT'S KINDA BEEN ON MY MIND!) "Yes, Hunny-senpai?"

"Can I come and watch Koto-chan?" He may not have been aware, but his arms were around my shoulders, his legs were clamped around my waist, his head was leaning on my shoulder, I'm short, he's a lil bit heavy, AND I CAN'T BREATHE!

"Mitskuni." Mori to the rescue! Special attack: MOMMA CAT HOLD! It's super effective! I began breathing again. Jeez, this kid is gonna be the death of me… "We have to go straight home."

Hunny looked surprised, then said, "Oh yeah, we have to train for the tournament this weekend!" Without another word, Hunny climbed onto Mori's shoulders, was handed Usa-chan, then they ran off like Goku on Snake Way.

"Wow. That's intense…what tournament are they training for?"

Kyoya shifted his glasses. "It's the preliminary rounds for National Championships in Judo and Kendo. I'd suggest a trip for the Club, but unfortunately the costs would outweigh the profit." "

"Which in 'commoner speak', translates to 'IT'S TOO DAMN EXPENSIVE,'" I mumbled to Haruhi. She snorted.

"MY DARLING DAUGHTER IS COMING DOWN WITH A COLD," Tamaki shouted.

"No she's not, chill out Tamaki," I said. Actually, I should have told him she was snorting to clear her brain of fuzzies.

The twins began grabbing my stuff and shoving me out of the door. "Anyway, you need to come with us, our mom is going to make your dress for the black tie thing you have to go to on Monday."

I brightened. Her dresses are pretty! "Really? Why?"

"Cuz your mom said so." Figures.

"Okay, I'm coming. You can let go now…" They didn't. They picked me up _over__their__heads_ and carried me like I was a fucking platter! All the way outside! You think they would remember that I'm wearing a MINI SKIRT, but they seemed to remember instead that I wear shorts underneath anything that resembles a skirt. Fuck.

Anyway, I followed them to their house and as soon as I stepped out of the car, twin maids grabbed my arms and I was swept into presumably Mrs. Hitachiin's design studio. There were fabrics over several surfaces, pins, mannequins, tape measures, sketch books and a corkboard for current design ideas. In a midst of all this fashionable chaos, Mrs. Hitachiin stood smiling and looking at me.

"Welcome to my studio Kotone-san." The maids released me and closed the double doors behind me. I hastily bowed and smiled.

"It's nice to see you again Hitachiin-san, I'm so thankful-"

"Oh it's nothing," she said waving her arm. "Truthfully, I've wanted to work with you since I made that costume for you for the Club. Your body type is a designer's challenge, you are a compilation of paradoxes."

"I am?" _Of__course__I__am,__anyone__who__watches__One__Piece__AND__Naruto__must__be__insane,__because__of__the__whole__pirates__vs.__ninjas__thing._

She nodded. "Just by looking at you, I can see that you are quite petite, but besides that, you are well proportioned and curvy. Your legs are long and your skin tone suggests you would look best in jewel tones, though from what my boys tell me, you tend to prefer the darker range of the color palate no?" Uh wow, why didn't I just tell her my birthday and blood type while I was at it?

"Um, yes you're correct."

She nodded and took out a sketch pad. "So I'm going to ask you several questions to get a better idea of your style to make this dress most comfortable for you and to make you look your best."

I smiled. "Sounds great."

"So, what's your favorite color?"

"Um, I like purple and green a lot, but blue is really pretty too."

"What are you most comfortable in?"

"Jeans and a cotton t-shirt and ballet flats…but I will wear heels for this occasion." Mrs. Hitachiin smiled at this.

"Do you have a preferred neckline?"

"I don't like wearing revealing clothing, but I like most necklines except strapless."

"Mm…would you feel uncomfortable with a dress showing off your back?"

"Not as much…just as long as it's not too low."

"I see." She asked me about a million more questions before she sketched out a dress for me. It was a black dress with a sweetheart neckline with black-and-green lace lining the top edge. She added two sets of spaghetti straps, one like a halter and the other that were like regular straps. The back was very nice. It was came to my mid-back, but my back would be covered with the same lace that edged the top of my dress. The dress would hug me until my hips when it would go straight down, making me look like a glass of chocolate milk. (As opposed to a glass of water; I like chocolate milk better.) "Final touches," Mrs. Hitachiin said. She added on some black above-the-elbow gloves. "For warmth, since you said you would be cold. I've always wanted to try something like this for a design."

"Oh Mrs. Hitachiin, it's perfect!" Wow, I would look like Audrey Hepburn! It was beautiful, it really was. After the sketch was done, she took my measurements and ordered me back on Friday for a fitting.

"Will you have enough time Mrs. Hitachiin to make the dress?"

"Time is all I have right now since I'm completely done with my winter collection. I was almost bored until your mother came to me with this idea!"

I thanked her profusely, then got into my car and began jamming to 'Mirotic'. (K-pop music is cool too, even though I have NO idea what the hell they're saying.) I pulled up to my house when Joey took the car. He looked shocked and almost frightened.

"Kotone-sama, did you check your phone recently?"

"Nooo, why?" I flipped it open. 26 voicemails and 54 calls from everyone in my staff. Uh-oh. I tossed him the keys and ran into the house, down to the kitchen first. Kitchen is easiest because Ichiru is ALWAYS there and he knows all the details of EVERYTHING.

"ICHIRU! What's going on, I-HOLY MOTHER OF RA!" (If I said anything else, I think I would have died.)

"KOTONE! Watch your language. What took you so long, it should have taken you only twenty minutes to be fitted for a dress and you've been there twice as long. _Where__were__you?_"

Fuck.

Mom was home.

She was standing in the kitchen smoking another one of those damn cigarettes in a short sweater dress and over-the-knee boots. Ichiru looked pained. I was internally beating myself up for not checking my phone. I bowed quickly. "Welcome home-"

"Is that any way to greet your mother," she barked in English. _Yeah__bitch,__in__Japan,__WHERE__WE__LIVE__this__is__considered__perfectly__normal._I stood back up, ramrod straight, went over to her and kissed both her cheeks. "Welcome home mother," I said in English.

"Better. So are you going to answer the question or not?" 

"Yes. I was late because the dress fitting took longer than I expected."

"Did it now? And why would that be. You weren't disturbing her work were you?"

"No, of course not. She told me herself that she finished her winter line already."

She nodded. She began walking out of the kitchen. "Dinner is at 7:30, we are expecting several people from Suzuki Bank's American executive board over for a traditional Japanese-style dinner." I must have looked surprised because she rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders in agreement. "I know it's tedious, but they insisted on Japanese cuisine. Wear your kimono, the one with the cherry blossoms on it."

"But mom, that is a spring kimono." She looked like she would glare at me, but reconsidered. "Fine then, wear another one. Oh and be sure to brush up on your dance skills, they might ask you to do a traditional Japanese dance." Oh well thanks for bringing that up. Let me pull a routine out of my ASS! She left.

Ichiru and I exhaled and put our heads on the counter until we heard the kitchen door slam. "That was scary," I said.

Ichiru nodded. "Aren't you supposed to be doing your homework?"

"Aren't you supposed to be cooking something?" We grinned at each other and slowly got up.

"Jeez I swear one of these days she's going to give me a heart attack."

Ichiru raised an eyebrow. "Homework?"

I gave him a goofy grin. "And here's where I'd put a fuck. IF I HAD ONE!" He laughed at the internet joke. "No seriously, I finished it all at the Club."

"And what about the dance thing?"

My cell phone rang. It was mom. "He-"

"Kotone I also need you to prepare a song to play on your harp, some traditional Japanese tune alright? I'll be back at 7:00." Click. I slammed my head on the counter. Ow.

"What did she want now?"

"Traditional Japanese harp music…" I didn't move. I was exhausted and pissed. I felt like I had just taken five finals for my WORST subjects.

"…So…are you going to do it?"

I mock-pouted as I looked at him. "No."

He waved a spoon at me. "She'll get angry."

I sprung up from my chair shouting, "LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKS I DON'T GIVE!" Ichiru and I both laughed. We both knew I'd do it, but the thought of me disobeying her was hilarious. "Ah that was fun. This calls for a song."

Ichiru chopped veggies and I began singing. He blanched at the lyrics. "WEEEEEELL, My mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls!" Ichiru was shaking trying to contain his laughter. I just needed to get this out of my system. "Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch, on Wednesday to Saturday, she's a bitch, then on Sunday, just to be different, she's a super, king, kameha-meha biatch!" I waved to Ichiru as I danced out of the kitchen.

I headed for the dance studio, I hadn't done Japanese style dancing in forever. I spent one summer learning about it when I was 13, so I remembered a couple dances, but I would still need to practice for it to look good.

Ami was waiting at the studio. "Yo," I said.

"What are you supposed to wear?"

"Kimono. She wanted me to wear the one with sakura blossoms on it but I steered her away from that. Can you bring out my red one with the white butterflies?"

"Ooh that one is so pretty on you. Which obi?"

I thought a second. "The brown and white one with the big pink-tinged flowers." She nodded.

"Oh, er Kotone-sama, in the off chance they do ask you…I'd prepare some sort of pointe work for them to see, just in case." I nodded and plugged in my iPod to the stereo system. At 6:30 Ami had to drag me away from the studio so I could shower and change. I took an inhumanely fast shower, then Ami helped me into my kimono and she and Zakuro did my hair and make-up. My hair was done up in a simple bun with butterfly clips and several hairs around my face and my make-up was simple with brown highlights around my eyes and bright red lipstick.

"Wow Kotone-sama, you look like a geisha."

"Thanks you guys, you're awesome. What time is it?"

"7:00. Jimena-sama-" BANG! "Ah, that was the door. She must be home."

"KOTONE ARE YOU READY?" I hurried out of my room as quick as my sandals would allow.

"Coming mo-" Wow. You know I forget sometimes that she's a model as well as my mom. Her kimono was an attractive blue, decorated with purple and white flowers and with a matching purple obi. Her hair was only half up, and the top part of her hair was in a very pretty bun. She looked so pretty. Luckily too whoever did her make-up only put the smallest tint of purple on her eyelids and her lips were a deep pink.

"You look wonderful mom."

She gave a quick smile (LE GASP). "That's my job isn't it? Now hurry, they will be here in 10 minutes."

"But I thought-"

"Dinner happens at 7:30, but I told them to come at 7:10. You will perform a tea ceremony for them. Also tell the servants to wear their yukatas." Everyone who worked for mom had navy yukatas for times like this. Dad ordered them for when he would invite my friends over for Girls' Day when I was little.

Wait…TEA CEREMONY? THE FUCK I HAVEN'T DONE THAT SINCE ASH LEFT PALLET TOWN! Meaning FOREVER AGO! Ugh, just one more thing to worry about. Precisely ten minutes later the doorbell rang and Sango answered the door. "Hello, welcome to Wal-mart get your shit and get out," is what I wanted her to say. No luck though…she took after Tamaki and did the signature 'welcome' thing. Mom and I stood in the parlor to receive them. There were five men, all tall and in ridiculously expensive suits.

"Welcome to our home, have you gentlemen met my daughter Kotone?" She only mentioned I was her _daughter_ because the men have seen pictures of me from my dad. We all went around, there was a lot of bowing and hand shaking, and a lot of misspoken Japanese (apparently they didn't know that I can speak English).

Anyway, I did a tea ceremony, was charming, ate dinner, charmed them with my etiquette, performed a dance (Japanese and pointe, thank you Ami), played my harp and was overall rather adorable. Jeez why does this sound familiar? I don't remember a word of what was spoken at dinner, but they were pretty much being touristy fanboys anyway, so it didn't really matter. Anyway we returned to the parlor for coffee when there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it," I announced quickly. Yes, I did know that there were at least 4 other people in the room (Ami, Sango, Rin and Zakuro) who could have gotten the door, but even I needed a break from the overpowering feeling of testosterone.

"Hello-Hunny-senapai?"

"…" He stared at me a second before answering. "Hi Koto-chan. You look nice, why are you all dressed up?"

"Huh? Oh…dinner party. What are you doing here?"

"I left my notebook here and-"

"Kotone, who is at the door?" Oh shit…

Mom came over and opened the door wide to stare at Hunny. He was wearing jeans, dress shoes, a long sleeve fitted red shirt and a black overcoat. C'mon he looked stylish and hot, what can you fault him for? Hunny looked surprised and immediately bowed. "Good evening Suzuki-san."

"Good evening," she replied curtly. "What brings you to our home?"

"Homework ma'am. I believe Kotone-san might have accidently taken my notebook by mistake. It is no fault of hers, we have identical notebooks." He gave her a Tamaki-like smile and it worked.

"Come in then. Kotone, help him find his notebook and then come back."

"Yes mother." We both ran up the stairs to the room he stayed in when he was here. We shut the door and I sighed a little.

"Wow that could have been so much worse than it was, so where's your notebook Mitskuni?" I turned to look at him, but for some reason he was staring at the ground with red cheeks. _Bright_ red cheeks. "Mitskuni, are you feeling okay?"

He started. "Huh? Oh yeah Koto-chan, I'm fine. Oh there's my notebook!" He zipped forward and grabbed it, and pulled me out of the room all the way to my front door. He hugged me carefully so to not mess up my kimono.

"Thank you Koto-chan!"

"You're welcome Mitskuni." I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and hugged him back.

"Hey, Koto-chan?" His head rested on my shoulder and his breath tickled my ear.

"Yeah Mitskuni?"

"You look really beautiful tonight." Before I could do anything, he released me from his hug, took my hand and gently kissed it, glancing at me as he did so, turned and walked out into the dark.

My heart was pounding and my cheeks were red, but I ignored it as I headed back to my mom and her guests.

The next Monday was hectic as hell. First I had to congratulate Hunny and Mori for winning the preliminaries, (Mori and Hunny took first in their weight divisions for Judo and Mori won Kendo hands down.) then I had to congratulate Satoshi and Yasuchika who came to visit, (They won in their weight divisions too. We both stared at each other until we both shouted out "IT'S YOU!") I promised all of them I would go see them at Nationals, (Yasuchika wasn't happy.) I served tea, went to school, (yeah cuz that was an important part of my day…) entertained ladies with my cuteness, went home, spent two FUCKING HOURS in make-up, then another THREE HOURS in hair while I did my homework, slipped into my dress, put on my badass elbow gloves and stared in the mirror. Wow. The dress was amazing, Mrs. Hitachiin had only needed to do several minor alterations on Friday and she had finished it just that morning and sent it over right away with moms. (I had no idea she made both but hey, this is my mom. Since when has she told me shit?)

"Are you ready?" Thanks for knocking mom. I turned around. She wore a black dress with a straight neckline with a cut in the middle (sorta like a little v) to show off her mammeries, strapless, a very low back and a slit in the dress all the way up to her hip. Her hair was done up and she wore deep blue shades on her eyes to contrast her dress. This dress was obviously more mom's style than Mrs. Hitachiins'…

"I'm ready." After her giving me a full body scan and decided that I looked okay, we left my room, grabbed our coats, and went down into the waiting limo. Jeez, even Joey dressed up, he was wearing a full tux and stuff. And he was obviously hating it. As soon as we left mom began talking to me about etiquette which I MUST OBSERVE while I was there. Unfortunately I couldn't tune her out or else she would get pissed off, so for twenty minutes I had to listen to her tell me all the etiquette stuff I already knew which 'I would do perfectly OR ELSE'.

All I knew about the man was his name was Mr. Oelrichs. Mom hadn't told me anything else except that he had a boy about my age and that I should 'get to know him'. We pulled up to his mansion and I actually gasped at the name. 'Rosecliff'. My gosh! I remember visiting the real Rosecliff in Newport, Rhode Island! It looked a lot like the original, except with all modern conveniences oh and it was THREE FUCKING TIMES LARGER. (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!) Joey handed us out. (Mom first of course, then me.) He tipped his hat, gave me an encouraging smile, and left. Mom would call him when she needed him. We stepped inside and the interior was decorated almost exactly like the real Rosecliff! Including the heart-shaped staircase! We gave our coats to the attendant and immediately mom began searching out the host. She didn't have to search long because she found him in front of the ballroom.

"Richie," she swooped (and I mean that literally) onto him and hugged the poor man. He responded with complete decorum and gallantry. "It's been too long." She spoke in English.

"Jimena! Welcome to my gathering. I wish it could be called a Christmas party, but it's unfortunately too early in the season for me to do so!" He laughed. He seemed nice enough. They began talking in earnest and ignoring me, so I quietly excused myself to get some food. The man had a very nice spread, lots of finger foods, foreign and Japanese. I went for my favorite food…cucumbers. I nom on that shit like it's my job. I filled my plate with a number of cucumber slices that could equal an entire cucumber. I was just about to go ogle his amazing staircase when mom's arm shot out and grabbed onto me.

"May I introduce to you to Sirena? She's a new model I've discovered." Of course you have mother.

I bowed politely to him. "A pleasure to meet you sir." He bowed too and stuck out his hand which I shook. His eyebrow raised at my strong handshake, but he smiled. "Nice to meet you!"

He would have spoken more but a voice interrupted. "Father, your champagne." A teenage boy handed him a flute of the liquid.

"Ah! Thank you. Ladies, may I introduce to you my son, Mr. Daniel Peretti-Oelrichs."

**A/N: FYI I GOT SPECIAL PERMISSION FROM PRINCIPESSA DELL'OPERA TO USE HER CHARACTERS! I do not own Richard Oelrichs or Daniel Peretti-Oelrichs.**

**I don't own Bleach, yukaza, Otomen, RayWilliamJohnson, Beetle Juice, Casanova, Dragonball Z, One Piece, Naruto, Audrey Hepburn, 'Mirotic' by DBSK, internet memes on Farily Godparents, 'Kyle's Mom' from South Park, iPod, Pokemon, or Rosecliff.**

**Thanks for reading! I'll do my best to update soon!**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: I was really sad I didn't get more reviews last chapter. But FYI, I hope you guys like this chapter, I got permission from Principessa Dell'Opera to use her characters and she herself edited this chapter with me. READ GRATIA PLENA!**

Daniel and I stared at each other and I had some déjà vu. Whoever this dude was, he was a very pretty pretty boy. Anyway, I bowed to him saying "Nice to meet you." He opened his mouth to respond but my mom crushed the poor guy in one of her uuber tight hugs.

"Daniel! So nice to meet you!" _Yes__mom,__and__I__'__m__sure__he__'__s__probably__super__happy__to__meet__your__breasts.__Jeez,__she__could__have__fed__five__of__me__with__those__and__they__'__re__REAL._

Poor kid was blushed and winded when mom finally let him up. "Daniel, this is Jimena Suzuki, she is CEO of Suzuki Banks who handles my money. She's also an international model. And this is her lovely companion."

Mom pushed me forward. Jeez I almost tripped on my dress! "This is my friend Sirena De la Cruz, she's a new model I've recently discovered." _That__'__s__what__you__said__two__months__ago.__How__long__are__you__going__to__ '__keep__discovering__me__'__?_

This time Daniel stuck his hand out. "It's a pleasure to meet you Miss. De la Cruz," he said in English. I gripped his hand firmly as I shook it. IT'S A GIRL! No way! After hanging with Haruhi for so long, there is no way this dude has a Y chromosome. Nope. Her hands had definitely done work but they were still soft and delicate. If I bet money (which I don't, we bet boxes of pocky at home) I would definitely say she played the piano.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too Oelrichs-san," I replied in English. He nodded and gave a small smile. The girls would fucking LOVE him if he was in the Host Club.

"Please call me Dani. You said you were a new model?" 

"She is," Mom replied. _Thank__you__mom__but__I__can__speak._

"If you don't mind me asking, where are you from?"

"She's from Veracruz, Mexico." _AGAIN__MOM,__I__CAN__SPEAK!_

Surprisingly, Dani's eyes brightened and he gave me an even bigger smile. "I'm from Mexico City!"

"Really?" I actually got to speak this time. Huzzah. "Do you speak Spanish?" This night may not suck after all!

Dani replied in Spanish, "Yes, it's been so long since I've spoken it."

"Me too," I said. Before we could continue our multi-cultural conversation, her father began laughing heartily.

"Well Daniel it looks like you've found someone to entertain you for the evening, how about you lead this young lady-"

"Oh Richie! Look, it's Mr. Palmer, we just MUST say hello," she dragged him away to some man who looked like House.

I spoke in Spanish. "So…er…Dani right? How old are you?" Hey I had to pretend to be older. Older people ALWAYS ask how old you are because they either can't remember or because they don't wanna say something they'll regret later.

"I'm seventeen."

"Ah." There was an awkward silence, until Dani spoke up.

"Miss De la Cruz, were you recently in Mexico?"

"Uh…"

"Has it changed much? How's the economy? Did you ever visit Mexico City? Where did you work?" He looked so earnest and nice, urg I can't lie to people like that! Not about something like their own home country! I can't keep up a charade like that!

"Um, may I be completely honest with you?"

He was shining a bit… "Of course."

Deep breath. Mom will kill me if she finds out. "I'm actually not from Mexico…I lived in the States before I moved here."

I thought the shining would stop, but she was still smiling. "Really? How fascinating, where in the States are you from? How did you learn Spanish? Do you speak Japanese at all?"

"Um…I'm from New York, my mom speaks Spanish and my father spoke Japanese…so I learned from them."

"Wow, that's incredible. How long have you been a model?" A model? Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be a model…

"Oh…erm, only a couple of months…I'm rather new to it."

"Yes and for Jimena herself to discover you, she was quite popular in Mexico when I was young."

"Oh I remember that." I honestly did. She had HUGE promotions in Mexico when I was little, so she visited there often. She had this whole girl-next-door thing going for her.

"Er, Miss De la Cruz?"

"Oh, call me Sirena, please."

"Yes, forgive me, but how old are you? You are very young to be modeling internationally."

My heart leapt into my throat. "Ah no! I get that a lot, but I'm actually much older than I look." Well I get the mistaken age bit a lot…nothing new.

"Really? How old _are_you?" I could tell her genuine character was shining through, she looked more curious now, but polite and respectful as ever.

"I'm twenty-four." _Yeah,__twenty__four__minus__seven._ I missed her smirk at the time.

"There's no way you're twenty-four, you could pass as half that!"

I didn't even realize she spoke in Japanese until I replied, "I know right? It's crazy how many people _actually_ believe that story." Dani grinned. My grin slid off my face. Oh shit. "Uh…what I mean is uh…"

Dani smiled. She spoke in English again. "It's okay, I could already tell that it was just a façade. How old are you really?"

I laughed nervously. _I__hope__mom__doesn__'__t__find__out__…_ "I'm seventeen, like you."

"Really? Even I would have guessed younger."

"Yeah, I get that a lot…"

"So I take it you're not a model?"

I glanced toward my mom who still had a death-grip on Dani's dad. "Can you keep a secret?"

Dani smiled. "Cross my heart."

"You're right, I'm not a model. And my name's not Sirena either, it's Kotone." I gave a superfluous bow. "Nice to meet you Dani-kun."

She bowed extra low, mimicking my silliness. "Always a pleasure Kotone!" She straightened. "So if I may be so bold as to inquire what you are doing here?"

I laughed, munching on one of the cucumbers I had almost forgotten on my plate. "I'm here with my mom, she dragged me to this, but honestly it's not really my thing."

"Really? Whose your mom?"

I glanced around to make sure no one was listening in. YES this was necessary, mom wants to be a fricking fountain of youth, and if I spoil that, I might as well exile myself to Antarctica. "My mom is Jimena Suzuki. I'm her only child."

Dani stared. Then she began quietly freaking out. "Y-you're the daughter of _Jimena_? I didn't think she had any children, I knew she was married to this big banker guy, but-OH MY GOSH YOUR FATHER WAS MY DAD'S BANKER! He's the one who-oh…"

"Yeah, that was my father. He drowned last year, so my mom took over the business. And she doesn't like to mention that she has a child. Keep her personal life personal, you know?" Okay now that was complete bull shit but whatever, my mom's just weird.

Dani was staring at me in awe. "Wow…I'm really sorry about your father." I nodded. "But it's incredible that you're her daughter, I used to grow up idolizing her. Her and Selena."

"Oh I love Selena! She's still one of my favorites."

"Me too! She's the one who inspired me to sing."

"You sing? Really?" I can sing, but mom says I can't sing well, so I actually have no idea whether I can sing or not.

"Yes! I also play the piano, the guitar, violin-most instruments really…"

"How cool! I play the harp."

"REALLY? That's such a beautiful instrument."

"Yeah, I wish I could play the piano though, it's so gorgeous."

Her eyes shined again. "We have a piano here! My father gave me one as a present for when I turned seventeen."

"Wow! Can I see it?" We both had identical grins on our face as Dani quickly led me to the deserted music room several halls away from the main party. She opened up the doors to the room.

"Wow…" It was so beautiful. There was a fireplace, some couches to lounge on, shelves upon shelves of music books and sheet music, and cases of instruments of all sizes and in the middle of the room was a beautiful Steinway.

"It's beautiful." I was almost drooling at how pretty it was.

Dani smiled good-naturedly. "Thank you," she said, running her hands lovingly over the piano. "I love it, it's the best present he could have ever given me."

"Um, Dani if you don't mind…would you play for me?"

Dani blinked, then smiled. "Of course, pick a song or a language."

I laughed. "How many do you know?"

She sat down at the piano, "English, Spanish, Japanese, and Italian, but I can also sing in German and French." Fuck Google Translate, I'm hiring THIS GUY!

"Hmm…what are you most comfortable singing," I asked.

Her eyes lit up. "Opera."

I smiled. "I love opera. Do you know 'Celeste Aida'?"

"I love that aria!" She began playing. It was really beautiful and surprisingly she feigned a tenor's voice perfectly…but I still wanted to check, she hit those high notes a little too easy to be a boy. When the song was over, I clapped politely. She stood up, straightening her tux.

I decided to try it. "That was beautiful, do you know the aria 'Che farò senza Euridice' from _Orfeo__ed__Euridice_?"

She smiled widely. "That's one of my favorites! I love to sing-wait no I can't sing it, it's for a soprano."

I pointed triumphantly. "HAHA! I CAUGHT YA!" The poor girl's entire face and neck turned a bright scarlet. "You're not really a boy, are you?" She glanced around the room, looking for the best place for hide-and-go seek. May I suggest the piano? She bit her lip, distraught. I went over and put my hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it's none of my business why you cross-dress, I was just curious. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"How could you tell," her voice had risen several octaves.

I grinned, even her normal voice was musical. "You're just too pretty to be a boy, Dani. Is that you're real name by the way?"

If possible, she turned an even deeper shade of red. "N-no. My real name is Danica. Everything else is the same though. _Maldita_ I thought this disguise was foolproof!"

"It was! No one else noticed…I only noticed when I shook your hand. Your hands are very hardworking but I dunno…you didn't shake my hand firmly enough for me to think you were a dude!" She laughed a little.

"Well I'm glad it's only you who found out. You won't tell anyone, will you?"

I shook my head. "Of course not! You've kept my secret, the least I can do is keep yours."

She grinned widely. "Thanks."

I clapped her back jokingly. "C'mon girly, are you gonna sing for me or not?"

She rolled her eyes. "Just a minute, I need to fix my _girly_ tux before I play for you." We laughed and she played one of the best renditions of 'Che farò senza Euridice' that I've ever heard.

After her mini concert, we talked about our interests. She was fascinated to learn that I danced and insisted that she accompany me while I danced to Tchaikovsky. We talked about singers, music, and food. My gosh, Japanese food, American, Mexican, Italian, oh yum. That easily took up our time and we frequently snuck out of the music room to sneak snacks from her staff. I learned also about her childhood, how she grew up poor in the barrios of Mexico City. Her father had eloped with her mother after college, even though his parents greatly disproved of her. When they found out she was pregnant, they pulled some strings, cancelled her visa and sent her back to Mexico. They forced her poor father to get a divorce and hence he never met her until she was sixteen. Damn only stuff like that happens in novelas, that's no fair! I told her so and she laughed. But she was happy and that's what really mattered. Then we talked about novelas for a while. Turns out we were both huge fans of Corazon Salvaje and Chayane.

We stayed in there talking until her father came looking for us…with my drunk mother in tow. "Ah-hah! I knew I would find you in here!"

Dani smiled. "It's my favorite place to be."

"Sirena, it's time to go," my mom slurred. Drunk off champagne I bet, my mom's a lightweight. Real attractive mom. Nice.

The Oelrichs showed us to the door. I shook Mr. Oerichs' hand. "It was a pleasure meeting you and your son, he's quite charming." Oelrichs nodded, smiling. I turned to Dani, grinning widely.

"It was nice meeting you Dani." I went to shake her hand, but she decided to be snarky and raised mine to her lips, kissing it briefly.

"It was nice to meet you too." I let my hand drop and I felt something weird in my hand. I glanced down and I realized it was a number. A cell phone number. I grinned, that was such a Titanic move…smooth and cheesy at the same time.

I discreetly pulled out my own number, written on the scrap of my napkin from earlier. I reached up and patted her shoulder. It wasn't that long of a reach, she was only 5' 6" or so. I slipped the napkin under the lapel near her neck. "You take care of yourself."

She grinned cheekily. "You too."

"See ya Dick," my mom slurred. "Bye Dan." Those are DEFINITELY not their names.

Mom and I left around 2:30 in the morning. The morning was gonna suck, but the tiredness hadn't hit me yet. I can honestly say that Mr. Oelrichs' party was the best I'd been to with my mom, thank goodness for cross-dressing girls. I mean seriously, that was the life of the party.

When I got home, Joey and Sasuke carried mom up the stairs (she passed out in the car) and I helped her out of her dress and into a nightdress. Zakuro scrubbed off her make-up and took down her hair (while she was still passed out mind you) and we helped her into bed. I checked her phone for any appointments and set her alarm. I repeated the same exact process for myself, and then finally I passed out on my bed at around 3:45.

**A/N: I don't own Gratia Plena, Dani, or Richard Oelrichs, pockey, House, Google Translate, Tchaikovsky, Corazon Salvaje, Chayane, or Titanic.**

**Thank you again to those of you who drew me fanart, I finally have an account on deviantart so I've favorite all of them. YAY! Thank you to all my readers who have stayed with me for thirty chapters. Thanks for the encouragement. It truly means a lot to me.**

**READ GRATIA PLENA!**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Thank you to my reviewer who gave me the idea of using kimonos again! (You know who you are!) Also my friend will cosplay Kotone for me sometime this week so expect pictures on DeviantArt. Also I'm going to do fan art for Kotone Suzuki and Danica Peretti Oelrichs from 'Gratia Plena'. Expect pictures!**

Straight up, I didn't want to wake up the next morning. Why the hell would I want to? I was up till FUCKING 2 in the morning, my feet FUCKING hurt, and I FUCKING had school.

But I was hungry. And that outweighed staying in bed by a lot.

I got ready quickly and trudged downstairs. I went into the kitchen where Ichiru was peeling some fruit. I opened my mouth to ask a question, but he cut in.

"She's still asleep. She's got a business meeting at 1 to attend and a short local photo shoot at 3. Oh and good morning."

"Umrfg…"

"Sorry, I don't speak troll."

"Cereal."

"Ah." He reached up into the highest cupboard that we have (where we store *GASP* starch) and asked "What kind?"

"Cheerios."

"Ah, I can see you slept well." I only do monosyllabic answers when I'm tired. He put the cereal on the counter.

I walked into the pantry door after I opened the box. I rubbed my head as I came back out with the honey. Ichiru had already put the Cheerios in my favorite bowl with my cereal spoon (don't judge I have a specific spoon for macaroni and cheese too!) and poured in the milk just to the right amount. I unscrewed the cap and dunked a spoon in before drizzling honey on my cereal.

"…Kotone-sama?"

"Yeah?"

"Your pouring honey on your Cheerios."

"Yup."

"You do realize we have Honey-Nut Cheerios in the cupboard."

I gave him a sleepy pout. "It tasteses better this way." I ate.

"Yeah…'tasteses is not a word."

I grinned at him. "Neither was 'assassination' until Shakespeare invented it."

He nodded sagely. "Point taken."

I ate my breakfast and something struck me. "Hey Ichiru, when is mom leaving?"

"Dunno, she did say that she wouldn't leave before telling me the menu for that Christmas party we are holding. Whenever that may be."

"Ah." I felt more awake now. I washed my bowl, brushed my teeth, got my bento from Ichiru, and left for school. Sugar only works for a little bit though and by the time I was sitting in class, I had my head on the table and my fanboys were crowding around asking what was wrong.

Then Tamaki arrived.

"MY DARLING NIECE WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU?"

"I'm fine Tamaki, I'm just a bit sleepy from yesterday's super late party," I said, addressing the desk.

Kyoya walked in. "You know it's not good to sleep in the classroom, besides looking unprofessional it could be bad for Club reputation."

I held up my arm, since my forehead still refused to leave the desk. "Two things though, one it's not class time yet and two, we could make profit out of this…just take a picture and put it on the Club's website." My arm flopped down on the desk. Immediately I heard the sound of a shutter. Kyoya doesn't waste time, that man.

For all of my morning classes, I was attentive and 'awake' but I was losing it by lunch. When lunch finally decided to come I walked to the Club room, figuring I could use a couch in there for a power nap. I walked in the Club room with the full intention of sleeping like Edward Elric when I realized someone was already here.

"Hunny-senpai?"

"Oh hi Koto-chan," he waved to me from across the room where it looked like he was having a tea party with Usa-chan.

"Where's Mori-senpai?"

"Takashi had to go to a meeting during lunch, but he'll be back soon, so I decided to have a picnic with Usa-chan!"

I giggled. Gosh he's so cute. "So what are you doing here, Koto-chan?"

"Honestly, I'm here because I wanted a nap, I'm really, really sleepy."

His mouth made an 'o' form. "Aren't you going to eat lunch first?"

"I wasn't planning on it…"

"That's no good Koto-chan! You need to eat or else you won't have any energy! Eat with me, please?" Those eyes again…urg, damnit why is he so cute?

"Okay." I sat down on the pink blanket he had, ate my bento, and the cake he served me. It was mostly a one-sided conversation because while I ate, Hunny talked. My eyes were getting really heavy when I felt a jolt and my eyes snapped open. Hunny was carrying me! He was carrying me to…a canopy bed? Since when did the Host Club have that?

"I didn't realize you were so tired Koto-chan." I looked up at him. He looked a little concerned, but he was smiling, almost like he enjoyed carrying a sleepy teenager to a bed for a nap…wow that didn't sound creepy at all.

He carefully put me on the bed and tucked me in. "You don't have to do that Hu-Mitskuni. Where did this bed come from?"

"It's mine. I use it for afternoon naps sometimes." You know, despite the fact that I was technically in his bed, this didn't really feel all that weird…probably because I was too tired to care. "I'll keep watch for you while you sleep Koto-chan! I'll make sure no one disturbs you." He placed Usa-chan next to me.

I smiled. "Thanks Mitskuni." I extracted my arm from beneath the (pink, Usa-chan covered, supremely soft) covers and took his hand. This was actually meant to be platonic, cuz my hands are always cold, but I was still happy for an excuse to touch him. "Your hands are warm."

I wasn't expecting him to cover my hand in both of his and say "I'll keep your hand warm for you Koto-chan." We both grinned at the cheesiness, and I was still grinning when he kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight Koto-chan."

"Goodnight Mitskuni."

"Think we should wake them?"

"Wait until Kyoya-senpai gets the picture!"

"Shouldn't we ask them before we take a picture of them asleep?"

"And how would we do that, Haruhi? They're _sleeping_."

"…"

I heard the 'click' of a camera and I opened my eyes.

"She's waking up! Careful mommy, she might be like Hunny-senpai."

Mentally I was rolling my eyes. _Honestly,__what__is__so__special__about__taking__pictures__of__me__asleep?__Its-oh__…_"

Hunny had fallen asleep while he was 'watching over me' he still held my hand, but his torso was facing mine while his legs dangled off the bed. It looked uncomfortable, but sort of sweet, seeing his calm expression and my hand clasped in his, carefully held to his chest. I looked up at the Club, all of whom looked nervous. (Well, those who displayed emotions. WHERE DID MORI COME FROM?)

I waved my hand. "Yo."

They all exhaled. "What are you doing here Kotone," Haruhi asked.

"I came here to take a nap and happened to meet Hunny-senpai here. _He__offered__to__watch__over__me__while__I__slept_," I said, glancing pointedly at the twins. They whistled and looked away. "By the way, what time is it?"

Tamaki checked his watch. "It's almost the end of lunch, you didn't come to eat with daddy, so daddy got mommy and Haruhi and we-"

"I get it thanks. You guys might wanna step back."

"Why," the twins asked.

"I'm gonna wake Hunny-senpai up. Unless you wanna help." They were already hidden behind the couch. I'm pretty sure I saw a glimpse of a flak jacket before I turned to Hunny to wake him up. I wiggled my fingers in his hands and his hands gently held mine tighter. I began rubbing his upper arm.

"Mitskuni." I said it quietly so the twins wouldn't hear. What hell they would give me if I did! I brushed a hair out of his eyes and patted shoulder. "Time to wake up now."

The only response I got was that he let go of my hands and pulled me to his chest, hugging me. "Usa…chan…" Oh my gosh can I PLEASE DIE NOW. Just then, I had an idea. It was a brilliant, evil, wonderful idea. I poked his sides.

Then I began tickling him. At first he only grinned a little, then a lot, then he giggled, then chucked, then began laughing. Finally, after a minute of me tickling him, he opened his eyes and I stopped. His eyes were still sleepy, but smiling.

"Morning Koto-chan."

"Good morning Mitskuni. Here's Usa-chan." I pushed the bunny in between us, seeing as he still wouldn't let go of me. He finally did once he held his beloved bunny.

"Usa-chan!" I sat up, giving the Host Club a thumbs up.

"It's all good!" Then I was tackled by Hunny, who was hugging me again. "Hunn-"

"Thank you for watching Usa-chan for me!"

"Uh…yeah, no problem…er…can you let me go? We have class." I think he finally realized that _we__were__on__a__bed__and__he__was__hugging__me_ because he jumped off the bed and ran over to Mori shouting something about 'cake'. Everything was back to normal.

Afternoon classes dragged…mostly because the chemistry teacher looked like Professor Von Drake (You know, Donald Duck's uncle? Him.) and NO ONE COULD UNDERSTAND HIM.

Anyway, I went back to the Club room after classes and it did NOT look like the Club room I left at lunch. Everything was white! Well okay, it was mid-December, but how did the room get entirely covered in FAKE SNOW so quickly? Right. Host Club. Anyway, it looked really pretty. The windows were covered in fake icicles and real fake snow covered the entire floor! The furniture was replaced with white chairs and couches with blue upholstery and somehow it was warm in this room.

I was just contemplating all this when Tamaki came bounding out of a snowdrift. "KOTONE!"

"SESSHOMARU-SAMA!" Sorry, that was an automatic reaction seeing as he was wearing a white kimono edged in red with white hair, a yellow obi, yellow contacts, and long nails oh and the crescent moon on his forehead. Plus yelling got him to stop. He was about to speak when I held up my hand.

"Don't try to explain this to me, just what's the theme?"

He did Tamaki Romance Pose #22 with the sparkly rose variation. "Today's theme is 'Demons in Winter'! I am a dog demon for today, the loyal companion and protector to all the lovely maidens who happen upon my territory." He turned to show me his tail, it was white to match his white wig.

"Uh-huh…okay the theme is cool…I guess…" It's better than what I thought it was gonna be. I was thinking Eskimos. Or Wizards in Winter! I LOVE that song by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra!

"True this is another 'last minute' dress-up, but the theme will most likely be popular." Kyoya came out in a deep green kimono. His hair was now long and pulled up in a ponytail, funny enough his hair including his bangs were a dull brownish-grey with black tips…as were his ears that he sported on his head. Heh…Kyoya with ears will never get old. He had no tail, but had black eyeliner lining his amber eyes and ending low on the inside corner of his eyes.

"A snow lynx?"

"Yes. For this cosplay, we are doing 'winter' animals."

"Cool. Can I be a narwhal?" NARWHALS NARWHALS SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN!

"No."

"Damn." Just then two forearms rested on my head. "3…2…" They retracted their arms and stood in front of me to show off their outfits.

"What do you think," the twins asked me simultaneously. The twins hair was white as well and their ears were smaller than Kyoya's but were also tipped in black. They both had on light orange kimonos edged in white and their tails were long and pure white. They also proudly wore eyeliner and amber contacts.

"I'm gonna say a very confused snow fox…you know they're supposed to be white, correct?"

"Yeah but orange kimonos look cooler, right Haruhi?"

They zipped over to the poor girl who had just come out of the dressing room. She was obviously a snow leopard. Her kimono was a deep purple with a simple emerald obi (I guess she was cross-dressing and cross-specizing today) and her hair was long and white streaked with black. Her ears were small and round, her eyes were a royal blue, she wore eyeliner and her long leopard-y tail dragged on the ground behind her.

"Aww Haruhi you look pretty," I said. She smiled and nodded her thanks as she attempted to pry the twins off of her.

"Koto-chan!" I turned around and grinned. Hunny the snow hare had made his appearance. His hair was pure white, as were the long ears (tipped in black) that sat atop his head. He had on black contacts and a light blue kimono, almost sky blue but lighter. He had the cute cotton tail and carried Usa-chan, who wore a blue bowtie to match (I guess…)

"You look cute Hunny-senpai." I spoke without thinking, but Hunny's grin only got wider as he hugged me.

"You should see Takashi, he looks SO cool!"

"Where is he?" Hunny let me go and turned me around. I turned around and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Mori…HA…senpai, I'm so sorry…you're a POLAR BEAR?"

"Yeah." He had it all, the small bearish ears, white hair, black rimmed eyes, and a navy kimono.

"You're right Hunny-senpai, he does look cool." I saw his lip twitch and I grinned at him. Then he held out a bag for me.

"Uh-oh, what's the verdict?" Last time I was an animal, I was a stripper, what will I be this time?

"Let me guess first, do I have antlers?"

"No."

"Am I a penguin?"

"No."

"Can I swim?"

"No."

"Wow, you're really good at this." His lip twitched more. "Oh my gosh am I a ram?"

"No."

"Am I a cardinal?"

"No."

"Am I Hedwig?"

"…"

"Am I a snowy owl?"

"Yes."

"Wait, seriously?" He handed me my costume and sure enough, it said snowy owl…well this oughta be good. I went into the changing room and pulled out the contacts first, putting those in. My eyes look weird when they're yellow. I carefully pulled out my kimono from the bag.

"Wow." My kimono was pure white with a light lilac obi. The sleeves were longer than normal, which made my arms look like wings. I carefully put it on, then put on my wig. I have to give the twins credit, for my wig, they gave me long white hair, partially pulled up. What was cool was that they stuck white and black owl feathers through my hair, making it look like it was natural. I glanced in the mirror and smiled. I looked like Sode no Shirayuki. I even had a deep purple clip to put in my hair. I quickly lined my eyes in black and put on the deep purple lipstick they left me. _This__is__cool.__I__'__m__a__bird__mother__f***er,__I__'__m__a__bird!_

I stepped out of the dressing room and got a multitude of reactions. Tamaki's jaw dropped, the twins nodded and applauded, Haruhi smiled, Mori's eyebrow twitched, Kyoya wrote something down on his ice-notebook with his ice quill, and Hunny…

…He was blushing? No way. Sure enough though, he was staring at me in awe and his cheeks were turning a darker and darker pink until they were officially bright red.

"Is it okay?"

"You look great Kotone-senpai," Hikaru said.

Kaoru nodded in agreement. "Hunny-senpai you're right, she _does_ look nice in kimonos!" If possible, Hunny turned even pinker.

"He said that?"

"Sure," Tamaki said. "The entire cosplay was his idea after all."

Before I could even respond to that, there was a tap on the door. We all simultaneously looked at the clock.

"Well, the ladies are impatient today," Kyoya remarked. "Places everyone, the doors will open in thirty seconds." By now I had learned that the doors opened via timer or by Tamaki pressing a button. I kinda hoped it said 'that was easy' but no luck.

After everyone arranged themselves around me for some reason, we were all set. The twins lounged on the icy floor, Hunny was on Mori's shoulders, Haruhi stood in front of Mori, directly to my left, Kyoya stood to my right, and Tamaki stood directly behind me. Death the Kid would have a fit, it was so asymmetrical.

I took a deep breath as the doors swung open. How did I get used to this? "Welcome."

I only spoke half the word because my jaw stopped working halfway through saying it. There were girls in the hall, but they were all staring agape at-

"J-jimena?" Yes. She told me to call her by her first name in public. She didn't want people to know. Because she only uses her first name when she models (and because no one seemed to remember she was married) she was again, endlessly youthful.

I bowed quickly. "Welcome Jimena," I said in English. I wanted to cry. Why was she here? Did she know I was part of a _Host_ Club? Did she even know what that was?

Abruptly, hands on my shoulders forced me to stand and she crushed me to her chest. "Oh Kotone-chan, it's been too long! _What__are__you__doing__in__that__outfit__you__look__ridiculous!_" The last part was mumbled in my ear.

"W-welcome." I turned to the ladies still agape in the hall. "This _Club_ is doing a theme that one of our members has himself created for the purpose of your _entertainment_. We hope you enjoy!"

She was now glaring at me. "What sort of 'entertainment' is this?"

"Today is tea party-themed entertainment with a twist," Tamaki had come over to talk with her. He kissed her hand and spoke to her in lilting English. "While me and my fellow Club members may look ridiculous, it is merely a cloak cleverly hiding our true purpose for this gathering."

She still looked mad. "Which would be…?"

Tamaki backed off and Kyoya stepped forward. "To teach the ladies etiquette, of course. While serving them tea and conversing with them, we teach them how to properly engage in the delicate art of conversation and how to behave while drinking tea. The costumes add a subject for the conversation and to distract from our actual bland motive."

Her expression cleared. "I see. How fascinating. I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I stayed to watch them, it's been so long since I've seen Kotone-chan at one of her hobbies." And whose fault would that be mom?

Worded like that it was impossible for Tamaki to say no. "Stay as long as you like," Tamaki said gallantly.

This sucked.

Now I was stuck here talking with the ladies while pretending to ignore their constant glances to my mom, asking me how I knew her and shit like that. Urg.

"So, what kind of demon are you, Kotone," one of Hunny's customers asked me. Hunny was sitting on one of the couches with Mori and my mom sat within earshot.

I served them some of the tea on my platter. "I'm an owl demon." _I__'__M__HEDWIG!_

"Are those real feathers in your hair?"

"Yes, they are."

"Did the twins d your make-up? I really like it."

"No, I did." _HA!__Take__that__mom,__I__can__be__fashionable!_ I felt bad for everyone. Tamaki had to tone down his romancing, Kyoya had to turn off his evil aura (was that even possible?), the twins all but ceased yaoi-ing, Haruhi was being Haruhi, Mori was…he was a bear and he was currently eating lox and bagels. Hunny, I could tell he was staring at me. Whenever I glanced at him, his eyes would always flicker away and there was a slight blush on his cheeks. My face grew warm. I was just happy to know he liked what I was wearing.

Mom sat in her corner the entire time just watching me. Finally, we had only ten minutes to go. Nothing bad could POSSIBLY happen.

Oh fuck that, this is a Host Club.

Random occurrence #1: Chika decided of all days to barge into the Club and scream, "TODAY IS THE DAY I'LL BEAT YOU MITSKUNI!" And he proceeded to throw a shuriken at him. Hunny hopped away (lolz like a bunny!) and they began fighting over in a corner. Mom was…oddly calm but peeved, I could tell.

Random occurrence #2: Satoshi came charging in like a bear/cheetah cross-breed on catnip and screamed "YASUCHIKA! QUIT SKIPPING CLUB!" And he hit him with a shinai. Wonderful.

Random occurrence #3: Renge appeared on her mechanical platform to narrate the fight and comment about her BLOODY MOOSE COSTUME. No she was not in a kimono like the rest of us. SHE WAS DRESSED AS A GIANT FUCKING MOOSE. Well you know what they say, antlers are 'in' this season.

Random occurrence #4: Kasanoda came to visit Haruhi. My mom screamed. Then Kasanoda did.

Random occurrence #5: Some creepy guy snuck up behind me and said, "I heard there were demons in this room." I smacked him in the face with a platter on accident.

The twins proceeded to tell me that this guy was Nekozawa Umehito, the head of the Black Magic Club. And that the puppet had a name. It was Beelzenef. A cat puppet. Cuz this is NORMAL for a day in the Host Club. Anyway, when he woke up, he proceeded to tell me that my 'demonic powers' were quite strong. (Gee thanks.) And he offered me a place in his Club. After I politely declined, the twins shined a flashlight in his face and he ran off screaming about how 'it buuuuurned' though a door that I'm pretty sure didn't exist five minutes ago.

Finally, after everyone was unceremoniously shoved out of some door or other opening, it was FINALLY time to go. I swear I cleaned up at the speed of light and we all left before I could say 'two infinity and beyond'!

Mom was waiting by my car which Chad brought up. Damn I hate when she drives my car, she changes gears like a grandma. "That Club certainly keeps you busy," she said as we left.

"That normally doesn't happen during the Club. We plan on throwing a proper Christmas party in about two weeks." She nodded. She was silent the rest of the way home, and I couldn't tell if that was a bad or a good thing.

**A/N: I don't own Cheerios, Honey-Nut Cheerios, Shakespeare, Edward Elric, Professor Von Drake, Donald Duck, Sesshomaru, 'Wizards in Winter', the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, the 'Narwal Song', Hedwig, Sode no Shirayuki, 'I'm a Bird' by Tobuscus, the Easy Button, Death the Kid, or Buzz Lightyear.**

**Happy Holidays and expect and epic next chapter!**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! Here's a super long chapter as payment though. By the way, I got a deviant art account and I posted PICTURES I DREW/TRACED OF KOTONE AND DANI. Also my friend cosplayed as Kotone and let me take pictures of her, so check them out! Just search my account name (same as this one) or 'Kotone' or 'Dani' or 'Principessa Dell'Opera'. Happy New Year and I don't own Dani.**

When we got back home I was carsick. Her driving is shit, it's painful. When Mom stepped out of the driver's side instead of me, I could just tell by Joey's face, he was gonna clean it out ENTIRELY, Febreeze it, and put sutras all over the garage to cleanse it. He's gonna be up till midnight…

Ami came running when she heard the door open. "Welcome ba-JIMENA-SAMA!" She literally skidded to a halt in front of me, on hand outstretched to take my bag. "Uh…we didn't know you would be back today Patron." Rin, Zakuro, and Sango had come down to see the commotion and were now frozen halfway on the staircase. They all simultaneously bowed saying "Welcome home Patron." Damnit I feel bad! I would have texted them to warn them, but texting in mom's presence is like calling Edward Elric short; you just don't do it if you want to live.

Just then Ichiru came running up the stairs yelling, "KOTONE-SAMAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" The last part was yelled in terror. Probably because a) she's scary as fuck, 2) he was holding a ladle and had a leek sticking out behind his ear like some weird-ass pencil, and 3) because he was going to have to redo EVERYTHING he planned for dinner tonight. The last one I will admit is cruel unusual punishment for a chef.

"Ichiru don't be so loud and what is that vegetable doing behind your ear?"

_OMG HE WAS DOING THE DANCE TO TRIPLE BAKA!_ "Uh…I was…thinking. About what to have for dinner…Patron, what would you like?"

"We will start off with a light ceasar salad and a low calorie potato leek soup. Then I want swordfish with steamed vegetables and no dessert. Choose a suitable wine to accompany the meal." Okay poor Ichiru is gonna die, how in the HELL is he supposed to make potato leek soup low calorie? Does this lady not know that the recipe she wants requires butter (le gasp!) and heavy cream (double le gasp!)? Personally I don't give a shit cuz anything Ichiru makes is yummeh but sometimes I worry about her…

"Yes Patron. May I suggest…?"

"No, I'm going to change. Zakuro, Sango, attend me." She swept up the stairs and slammed the door to her room. Immediately Rin, Ami, Ichiru, and I ran toward the refuge of spatulas and whisks in the supply closet in the kitchen. (It's the only one that's relatively soundproof.) We all had a simultaneous frustration scream for a full minute before coming out. Everyone started talking at once. Ami snatched the leek from behind Ichiru's ear and smacked him upside the head with it.

"You idiot, why the hell did you have a damn leek behind your ear?"

"Just like the song Triple Baka," said Rin.

"Yes, I already said that," I nodded.

"I forgot it was there," Ichiru said, putting his ladle on the counter.

"How the hell do you 'forget' that you have an oversized scallion by your noggin?"

It was getting too loud…mom would get mad if she heard all this, so I said the only thing that made sense. "SIT!" They all plopped onto the floor of the kitchen. "Wow, that was effective," I said. "Okay guys, I'm sorry I couldn't warn you sooner. Mom showed up at the Host Club today then drove me here. WHY is she here? I thought she had work!" The last part was said in frustration. Everyone looked sullen…it was no fun when she was here.

"She didn't tell us where she was going," Rin said. "We're so sorry…if we knew we would have called you, forgive us?" They attempted to bow to me, but they all ended up knocking heads.

I laughed. "It's not your fault you guys…I just wish I knew why she's taken an interest in my affairs…I mean why now?"

"Because of the company party?" We all whipped our heads around to see Sasuke lounging at the door, looking emo and eating the nuts he stole from the squirrels he ate. (I think.) We all gave him a weird look. "What?"

"How the hell did you get here," Ichiru asked.

"Cuz I'm a ninja." Oh the irony.

"Where'd you get the nuts then?" He was born with them. HAHAHA! Ah…bad joke…

"The pantry…why are you all on the ground?"

I grinned. "Why are you so emo?" 

He shrugged. "Because I can be."

"Exactly!"

Ami turned to Rin. "Actually I thought he was emo because girls like guys like that." Rin nodded.

Sasuke smirked a little. "Why? Is it working?"

"No," they replied flatly.

He shrugged again. "Whatever, I'm going to tend the boats."

"Wait, you actually tend the boats," I asked. I never see him! Which is why he is a ninja! He's like that one shinobi from Naruto who left the village to get revenge on his brother…what was his name…?

He nodded. "I just fix shit in general," he said. He left and so did the evil creepy aura and post-humus chattering of dearly departed squirrels. Whoa wait…did he eat Alvin and the Chipmunks?

"You know, he's kinda like that guy from Haven…who fixes stuff…" Ami said.

I nodded. "You guys can get up now…"

They did so. I grinned. "Simon says hands on your head." They did so and smiled. "Anyways, let's just get through this…it's not like she'll be here forever right?" I felt a twinge when I said that…she was never there for me to begin with. I brushed off though as I shouted, "ATTENTION!" They immediately stood at attention. "Now I know this is gonna suck." They all nodded. "This is gonna suck all sorts of balls, but we must endure. AMI!"

"YES!"

"Be well prepared…we never know what she will ask you to dress me in. Be on your guard!" She saluted. "RIN!"

"YO!"

"The dining room and sitting room will be the pivotal setting for tonight's meal and after dinner affairs! Be ready to clean to her exact orders!" She also saluted. "ICHIRU!"

"What the hell are we doing?"

"Uh…we're in the army…"

"We're in a kitchen."

I waved it off. "Details. Ichiru, are you ready to make the ultimate dish…the impossible low calorie potato leek soup?"

He made an epic meme pose. "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!"

"Awesome! Ginyu Force, AWAY!" We all sprinted up the stairs (except poor Ichiru who was confined to the kitchen like Lord Death to Death City) and began doing our respective productive stuff.

Which for me meant my homework. Yay. Mom spent the rest of the afternoon into the evening in her room with Zakuro and Sango. I attempted to be productive by doing my homework, laying out a nice outfit to wear for dinner, practicing my harp, practicing a dance for the Host Club, did a little bit of online Christmas shopping, (with my own money by the way, hooray summer jobs!) and I caught up on the last couple episodes of Fairy Tail. (Jeez that shit is addicting…) It was 7:30 before I got a knock on my door.

Ami came in. "Hey Kotone-sama, I'm supposed to help you dress."

"Into what?"

"Into a taco costume, what do you think?" She went over to my closet and began rummaging. Great. That meant mom had requested an outfit. After a bit of looking she brought out an off the shoulder, long sleeve pink dress that came halfway up my thighs. I grimaced. I don't like pink much…

Ami sighed. "You gotta wear it." I pouted. "Not working." I took off my invisible hat and did the huge puppy eyes like Puss in Boots from Shrek. Ami closed her eyes tight, handed me the dress, and ran out of the room. "REJECTED!" I heard her laughing as she ran down the stairs.

I put on the dress and put a black belt on with it since the dress was loose fit. I put on some thick fluffy socks (because I can) and my black biker chick boots. I just finished putting my hair in a ponytail when I heard a knock on the door. Sango poked her head in. "Dinner in 10." I nodded. I checked the clock.7:50. My stomach loves you mother.

I went down the stairs quietly singing that one line from 'The Phantom of the Opera': "Down once more to the darkness of my black despair, down we plunge to the prison of my mind! Down that path into darkness deep as HELL!" How appropriate if you really think about it…Anyway I entered the dining room where my mom was already seated at the head of the table. I sat to her right. Ichiru brought out the soup and the salad and I must say, his work with leeks and potatoes is amazing…especially the potatoes, he can boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew…

We were silent the entire meal. I thought that she would immediately start talking about something important as soon as I sat down but she didn't, so this therefore meant that she was saving the suspense for later or that it wasn't anything remotely life-threatening. I should have known better.

We went into the sitting room after dinner and she ordered coffee for the both of us even though it was past 9:00 on a school night and I hate coffee. Luckily Ami is awesome and handed me my hot chocolate first before giving mom her coffee. Mom takes hers black and expects me to do the same, but still, from a distance it looks like coffee, or Coca Cola, or chocolate milk… 

"Kotone sit up in your chair and sip quietly!" I nodded and adjusted myself, placing myself in a pose like Mia from Princess Diaries (only I didn't fall out of my chair). "I want to talk to you about something important." I hastily took a big sip, after she talks about 'something important', not even the threat of nuclear war should wave my attention. "I was having a little chat with Mr. Oelrichs, remember him? Anyway, I had this lovely idea to strengthen our business ties. This is a simple matter since he has a son and I have you (yeah, and you're stuck with me) therefore my idea is for you to date Daniel Oelrichs!"

Several things happened at that moment:

1) I spit out my hot chocolate and screamed "WHAT?"

2) Ami dropped her tray and yelled "WHAT?"

3) Sango popped out from behind the door yelling "WHAT?"

4) Zakuro hopped out from inside a potted plant yelling "WHAT?"

5) Rin jumped out from behind Mom's chair yelling "WHAT?"

6) Ichiru peeked out from behind the curtain with a potato on his head (wtf) yelling "WHAT?"

7) Sasuke poked his head through a window with a squirrel balanced on his head (again wtf) nonchalantly saying "What?"

In short. Chaos. Mom just kept prattling as though nothing had happened. "Isn't it a lovely idea? He's such a handsome boy too, you two will make a cute couple, oh and your wedding dress MUST be Pnina Tornai, oh but that will be later. First you two must go on several highly publicized dates, hold hand, kiss, the like. Oh but you've never had a boyfriend so I will teach…"

I tuned her out at this point. What. The. Fuck. Wasn't setting me up with an assholish designer enough? Why the hell did she have to butt into my life, it's not like she ever cared before! Not only that but this isn't for the 'business ties'. Hell no! She liked the fact that Dani was quiet! She thinks she's gonna be easy to manipulate. Oh and there's that one minor detail that she's a SHE! I JUST GET AROUND TO ADMITTING TO MYSELF THAT I LIKE HUNNY-SENPAI AND SHE WANTS ME TO DATE A GIRL? THE FUCK!

"Um…Mom, have you discussed your idea with Mr. Oelrichs?" As I said this, everyone picked their jaws off the ground, cleaned up the mess they made, and ran to find cover from mom and to listen in. Pity Extendable Ears haven't been invented in the muggle world…

"Of course I did! He was so excited he was speechless, so he let me handle all the details."

Speechless. Great, this totally means that she has NO idea that her idea was just awful. Her ideas are like giving the twins sillystring in a library. It's just wrong. She kept talking and whatnot and I only caught the important shit…"date Saturday or Sunday" "wear something I chose" and "you are free to go". Oh my gosh, shoot me. I stood, kissed both her cheeks like she wanted me to, said good-night and walked out of the parlor calmly. After me and the door had about 10 feet of space in between us I flash-stepped to the kitchen. Everyone was already waiting there, with varying looks of horror, pity, and curiosity on their faces.

I took a deep breath. "SHIT ON A FUCKING SANDWICH IS SHE INSANE?"

Ami came over and patted my head consolingly. "Is Daniel Oelrichs really that bad?"

"No Ami, he's actually really nice, which is even worse!"

"Why," Ichiru asked.

"Uh…well…"

Sasuke gave me a bored look. "She's in love."

All the maids (plus Ichiru) perked up. "WHAT?"

"With who?"

"Is he a Host?"

"Is he hot?"

"Did you kiss him yet?"

"NO," I yelled. Great now I'm red, but at least it will distract them from the REAL reason I don't wanna date Dani. The maids and Ichiru were giving me puppy dog eyes. "Why are you guys so good at that?"

Rin smirked. "Cuz we're awesome. Now spill."

I sighed. "Fine. I like the short Host, Haninozuka Mitskuni. Class 3-A, martial arts badass, super sweet tooth." All the girls gave Ichiru a twenty. I deadpanned. "Really? You took bets?"

"I had you down for the tall one, he likes picking you up," Ami said.

"I said the glasses guy, he's HOT," Sango said.

"I also said the tall one," Rin said.

"I was hoping for a threesome with the twins." We all looked in horror at Zakuro. "It was a joke." We all sighed in relief. "Seriously though, I thought glasses man for the win."

"And I was right! I knew the bonding over cake was a true sign of your love!" He was sparkling.

"Okay, what manga are you reading," I asked.

"Tokyo Mew Mew!" That explains everything.

"Yeah, anyway I'm gonna go cry about my life now and then I'm gonna text Dani, cuz chances are he doesn't wanna date me either." They all nodded and wished me a good-night.

I grabbed my phone from my desk in my room and plopped on my bed. Oh wow, looks like she beat me cuz I already got a text from her.

Text From: Dani

Did ur mom tell u her diabolical plan?

Text Sent

Indeed.

Text From: Dani

Is she insane?

Text Sent

I think so. She's crazier than Elektra.

Text From: Dani

LUUV that opera. 3

And thus for the rest of the evening, we didn't talk about the impending problem and instead discussed our favorite operas and singers. Whoops.

The next day, I still had forgotten about the whole 'date' thing. How could I remember when that morning a gagillion things happened like:

1) New episode of Bleach (got up extra early to watch it. BALLIN!)

2) Ichiru ran into my room and declared that tomorrow it was supposed to snow.

3) I went to school and Hunny decided to greet me with Mori and new cake he wanted me to try. Cake for breakfast= Day of win. Basic algebra.

4) Tamaki had ONE hair out of place and he was freaking out about it. He asked me if he looked weird and I could barely contain my laughter…with the one curl sticking up, he looked like Canada. Now if only he would shut up…Just to piss him off I asked "Who're you?" He sobbed.

5) Kyoya asked me if I needed my eraser anymore. I said no and that item sold for 10,000 yen. I watched the bidding on his laptop.

6) The twins stole me away for 5 minutes to measure me for some unfathomable reason. Then they put my hair up in twin pigtails (like Ciel from that episode of Black Butler where he was a chick, hehe) and told me that 'you must keep your hair like that today'. I kept it, I at this point I should have just printed 'Don't Give A Fuck' on my forehead.

Classes went well, the most eventful part was when I called my English teacher 'professor'. He thought it was impressive. I felt like I was in fucking Harry Potter.

Anyway, I was walking with the Club on our way to the Music Room when we started talking about the weather. Yayz.

"Didja know it's supposed to snow tomorrow," the twins asked.

I HAD COMPLETELY FORGOT SUDDENLY THE WEATHER IS EXCITING. "REALLY?"

"That's a shame," Haruhi said. I think I heard her mumble about a sale on vegetables.

Tamaki struck a pose. "That's right! And because of this…" Epic twirling. "…I have come up with the perfect cosplay with the help of these two!" He indicated to the twins who nodded sagely.

"I can't wait…" I mumbled to Haruhi. She nodded. Tamaki's twirl was a surefire sign that whatever we would be wearing would probably be something…er…interesting…Anyway, he opened the door and there was already someone there. They turned toward the door and…

Oh wow, how did Dani get here?

Oh wait. FUCK WHY IS DANI HERE?

"Kotone-san, hi!"

"Uh…yo. Whatcha doin here?"

"Well, we were going to talk about the situation last night…but that didn't happen did it?" We both chuckled. "Tienes un momento?"

I didn't even have time to think before I felt two arms pull me back towards the fitting room with a shout of, "She'll be with you in a minute!"

I grabbed hold onto the fitting room door. "HIKARU, KAORU I SWEAR-!"

"We know you do," they both snickered. They pried my fingers off the door and shoved me into the dressing room with another one of those ominous bags. Never have I loathed an accessory so much…

I managed to strip down to my shorts and tank top (I wear them underneath my uniform for warmth) when the twins barged in. "HOLY-" They didn't give me a chance to finish because they began putting clothing on me, redoing my hair, and putting make-up on me. They forced me out of the changing room approximately 4 minutes and 23 seconds after I first went in. If I was in an anime there would be stars orbiting around my head and my eyes would resemble a polywhirl's stomach (you know…the spiral thingy?).

I wobbled back over to Dani who was staring at me in shock. "So…what were we talking about?"

"Um…what happened?"

"Oh nothing I was just…changing…I think."

"Ah, um…what are you wearing?"

"I have no idea." I walked over to a mirror and stared for a second trying to figure out just what the hell I was wearing. "Tamaki?"

"Yes my darling niece?" He came over, already changed into his outfit.

"Pajamas. Inside-out? Really?" He was wearing a pair of sky blue pajamas inside out too.

"Of course! It's an old commoners tradition-" I zoned out as I inspected my pajamas…they were deep green flannel with white polka dots. The twins just came out, both looking kinda like criminals in their horizontal striped white-and-black pajamas. Or zebras, they could definitely be confused zebras. Hunny wore pink, duh. Usa-chan wore a nightcap, Mori wore a navy yukata (no one could tell if it was even inside out), Haruhi wore a nightdress until I forced her back into the room with her proper outfit. She came out in white pajamas with blue pinstripes. (Someone start jamming Enter Sandman cuz we be awesome!) Kyoya wore purple evil pajamas made customly (it's a word now people!) and FedExed from the Underworld. Everyone wore theirs inside-out.

"-and so that's the reason we are wearing our pajamas inside out!"

"Wha-oh yes, I agree." Back to reality…sort of.

"Um…" I turned around. Whoops, I left Dani in the wild and she was being circled by a pair of curious twins. Crikey, look at the size of their egos! I zipped over, pushed them away, only to have the rest of the Host Club line up behind me. For the love of crap people GO AWAY PLEASE!

"Um…is now a good time," she fiddled with her fingers…huh I wonder if she plays the fiddle?

"Of course, now is fine."

She nodded at the people behind me. "Is it alright with them?"

"Huh? Oh uh, I'm sorry. This is the Host Club! Suoh Tamaki, Ootori Kyoya, Class 2-A with me, Hitachiin Hikaru and Kaoru and Fujioka Haruhi class 1-A and Class 3-A Morinozuka Takashi and Haninozuka Mitskuni. Host Club meet Peretti-Oelrichs Daniel, he's from Mexico. My mom handles her dad's finances and shit." They all waved, except for Mori who stepped forward and offered his hand to shake. Dani did, blushing a little. Aww! To the rest of the Host Club, Dani bowed. "We can speak freely in front of them."

She nodded. "So, it's safe to assume neither of us want this."

"Want what," the twins asked simultaneously.

"You got that right…but here's the problem, how do we get out of this?"

"Get out of what Koto-chan," Hunny sat on Mori's shoulders chomping cake.

"Pretending to be sick can only get so far…I know my dad would buy it, but your mom I'm not so sure."

"You're dad would buy that?"

"Well no, but he'd let me get away with it because he knows I don't want to do it." I nodded.

"Kotone, what are you talking about," Kyoya asked all business-like of him.

I looked at Dani who nodded. "Ah…I'm supposed to date him."

There was a crash and Hunny's cake was on the floor, his plate shattered.

"That will be 50,000 yen, Haruhi."

"WHAT?"

The twins laughed but Tamaki looked serious for once. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why should you date him? No offense Dani-kun."

"None taken, I'm not interested in Kotone like that."

"Well, it's all thanks to my mom and her brilliant schemes." Everyone rolled their eyes. Yup, we know how much she sucks.

"Unfortunately Kotone, your mother can and does have a say over who you should date or marry, seeing as they could be strategic business moves. You may not have the luxury of denying the suitors she gives you." Oh Kyoya, you're such a Debbie Downer.

"I understand that Kyoya, but if we all remember last time, that wasn't even strategic, Phillipe only ended dated me for his oversized ego, not for any lasting business gains. And Dani…I just can't date him…"

"Why not Koto-chan?"

"Well…uh…he's like my brother." Dani gave me a look like 'what?'. "You can't date your brother, that would be…Ancient Egyptian. Remember how Cleopatra married Ptolemy? That was just weird." Haruhi nodded, at least she understood.

"Even so judging by your mother's character, that hardly matters to her." Damn, Kyoya's right. "Unfortunately if you refuse to date him, you'd better come up with an adequate reason."

"I'm a girl, is that good enough reason?" I stared at Dani, who blushed. Whoa, I can't believe she just said that. The entire Host Club's jaws were lying on the floor.

The twins recovered first. "Yup, that's a good reason," They gave her thumbs up.

She bowed in apology. "I'm sorry for deceiving you…my real name is Peretti-Oelrichs Danica."

Tamaki came over and began observing her in her navy blue suit from every angle. "Huh…so why do you dress like a boy?"

"It's a long story," I said. "Anyway…so that's why I can't date Dani, good enough Kyoya?"

Kyoya nodded, clicked his pen and began writing. Dani looked worried at the writing.

"Also everyone," I pointed to the Host Club. "Dani's gender must be kept a secret! Not even my mom knows, so don't tell anyone!"

"Why," Hunny asked, hopping down.

"I don't know!" It's hard to look epic in pigtails and pajamas…

I turned to Dani to say something, but what I saw shocked me. Mori had walked over to her, kneeled, and gently took her hand and kissed it. Immediately Dani's face and neck blew up in a ferocious red blush. "Sorry," he said.

"F-for what," Dani stuttered. Mori gave back her hand and stood. Invisible to everyone else, a light pink blush dusted his cheekbones.

I walked back to Dani and stood next to her. "He means he's sorry for mistaking you for a boy, right Mori-senpai?" He grunted a yes. "He doesn't talk much," I informed Dani. She nodded, still blushing.

"Your name is beautiful." Wow, five words? She's on a roll! And she looks like she ate about 5,000 too many jalapeno peppers. Just then, I felt a weight on my shoulder…the one furthest away from Dani. It was Hunny. I could feel myself blushing too. "Yeah Hunny?"

"So you don't want to date Dani-chan? Even if she was a boy?"

I grinned and patted his head. "No Hunny-senpai, Dani and I are just friends." He nodded and wrapped his arms around my shoulders in a hug. Then he jumped away from me, shimmied up Mori's shoulders and they ran off to the kitchen to get more cake. They were back in two seconds (enough time for Dani to give me 'a look').

Tamaki clapped to get everyone's attention. "Okay, so listen up gentlemen and ladies," he handed Dani a rose and she stared at it like he had handed her a shoe instead. "We need to somehow get Kotone and Danica out of this date! Any ideas?"

"Contagious disease," the twins suggested.

"No," Dani and I said.

"Broken limb," Kyoya said.

"NO!" Dani looked scared. "How about something less er…damaging," I said.

"Broken car," Tamaki said, looking triumphant.

"That's less damaging," I deadpanned.

"Allergic reaction" Mori said.

"But, I'm not allergic to anything…" Dani said mournfully.

"Ditto," I said.

"Cake?" Silence.

"Uh…I don't see how that would work," Dani said.

"Wherever we go there better be some," I said. Hunny giggled. I smiled wistfully, then groaned. "UGH! Why can't this be easier? Any ideas Dani?"

She sulked. "I don't know, tell your mom…I'm gay!" The twins snickered.

I snorted. "If you're gay, then I'm a fucking duck."

The twins came over and put their elbows on my head. "Heh, duck fucking," Hikaru said.

I grinned evilly. "Duck, before I hit you in the dick without giving a fuck." Some of the demons I borrowed from Kyoko Mogami began to float around. The twins quickly removed their offending appendages and meandered over to a vacant couch. Dani stared at me as if I was wearing a ginormous bunny costume (which I possibly could have loaned from Haruhi).

"So back to the topic at hand…what are we going to do?"

Dani sighed and sat down in a chair next to the couch where the twins were sitting. "I'm afraid we have no choice but to go on this date…maybe we can tell your mom afterward that we are not compatible…like oil and water…"

"Like roses and winter," Tamaki said dramatically.

"Like porcelain and a dump truck," the twins added.

"Like salt and cake," Hunny said.

"Like Aida without Radames…" I speculated.

Dani looked pained. "That would be awful…I love his aria…"

Kyoya came over with his laptop in hand. "There is one other option for you both, I believe Mori-senpai has figured it out as well."

Dani and I brightened. "What is it?"

Mori's face was blank as he said, "Sabotage."

Oh…this ought to be good…

Dani looked confused. "Sabotage what?"

I gave her a look straight from Mother Russia. "The date."

"What?"

"The Host Club has done this before for me and I do believe they are willing to do it for you." I turned to the Club and bowed. "I would be very grateful if you sabotaged Dani and my date."

"Sabotage our DATE?"

"We've done it before, it's no problem," the twins said in unison.

"I'M IN! And so is Usa-chan," Hunny said hopping down from Mori. Mori nodded in agreement.

"…So what exactly do you mean by sabotage," Dani asked nervously.

"You know the term guerilla warfare," I asked.

"…Yes…" I grinned. "…Oh…"

Dani went home not long after our conversation of sabotage, seeing as 'she didn't want to be a burden during Club hours'. Who are we kidding, if she really was a dude the ladies would LOVE him and his whole singing artsy stuff he's got going on.

Still, I was distracted during the Club and I dozed off while sitting with Hunny. (Maybe I could have waited to watch that new episode of Bleach…HAH! Yeah right!) Well, I shouldn't say 'asleep'…more like I was stuck in that weird state of semi-conciseness, so I could hear the ladies and Hunny but I just wasn't registering anything until Hunny's hand grazed my arm. Immediately I was awake and I sat up straight, eyes wide open subconsciously yelling at myself 'you were NOT asleep. NO ONE SAW THAT!'.

"Koto-chan, are you all right?" Hunny was looking very curious. Now Playing: Cute Duo Combo #22: Naptime Act!

I smiled. "I'm fine Hunny-senpai, I was just a little sleepy…" I rubbed my eyes and the ladies all 'awwed'.

The next part was not Combo protocol. Hunny wrapped an index finger around one of my pigtails and gave it a gentle tug. "I really like your hair today Koto-chan, isn't it pretty Takashi?" Mori nodded, chewing on cookies and drinking milk. I blushed. Definitely NOT protocol. After that little encounter, I made sure to stay awake…meaning I spiked my own chocolate milk with Coke.

After Club we all went home, after I promised them all I would find out the details of the date tonight.

Oh boy did mom have a lot to say about the date.

"You two will be attending the Tokyo Ballet's production of 'Swan Lake' (SCORE!) seeing as 'The Nutcraker' is so overly cliché for the holiday season. (IS NOT!) You will wear this lovely new outfit I chose for you by Chanel and Gucci (oh boy.) and when you go out to dinner you MUST wear this dress I found by Prada, its-" She went on like this for an HOUR.

I tuned her out halfway and started mentally singing 'What's Up People'…rock music always makes me feel better, especially when there is an excessive use of the word 'fuck'.

After a while I tuned back in just to hear her say, "The date is scheduled for this Sunday. I'll be watching this time and Richie has agreed to join me." Her aura became evil. "Do NOT mess this up."

"I won't do anything," I promised. It's true! I'm not doing jack shit, the Host Club said they would take care of it for me…truthfully I think they love the idea of messing up my dates…whatever, it's cool.

Anyway after she had this post-dinner chat with me she told me she would be gone at a winter shoot until Saturday afternoon…so I can plan all the shenanigans I want. She began packing as soon as I left for my room, meaning therefore I wasn't to disturb her if I wanted to live past tomorrow…so I could die another day…like James Bond. I just finished texting the Club when Ichiru brought up a piece of chocolate cake for me.

Of course knocking on my door is such a rare occurrence for him, he always feels the need to 'spice it up'. (It's funny cuz he's a cook and he uses spices…)

First I heard my door 'bang' and then there was an 'ouch'. That's how I knew it was him. I got up and opened the door and saw the cake.

"Caaaaaaaaaaake."

"NO!" He slammed my door, leaving himself in the hall and me in my room…away from the chocolaty goodness. There's a problem here.

I knocked on my door. "Ichiru, you kno-"

"Who is it?"

"You really don't know?"

"Nope."

"It's Edward Cullen."

"Fuck, I'm not opening the door for that!" You know I couldn't blame him, so I tried knocking again.

"Who is it?"

"Ellen DeGeneres."

"Sorry, you'll have to come back later, we're trying to escape."

"YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE WITH MY CAKE!" I opened the door and Ichiru hid the cake behind his back.

In his most epic voice he said, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

"Y U NO GIVE ME CAKE?"

He shrugged. "I dunno, here's the cake." He handed it to me as he walked in.

"So…whatcha gonna do about the date?"

"Dani, the Host Club, and I decided we would do our utmost to sabotage this date and make it a total failure."

"So nothing unusual then?"

"Nope." I sat on the bed and nommed on the cake with a spoon. Ichiru thinks cakes are better enjoyed that way. He sat down in the chair near my bed.

"What will Patron say?"

"I dunno, she'll probably have a cow."

"So what exactly are you going to do to sabotage this date?"

"No idea!"

"…That's…um…okay!" Ichiru doesn't ask a lot of questions. One time in the dead of winter, my dad asked him to make chocolate ice cream and schnitzel. He did it, no questions asked. "You're odd…"

"This is coming from the guy who bleached his hair white."

"It's silver! And I look like that one butler from Mei-chan no Shitsuji the live action!"

"Yup, you also look like Gin Ichimaru."

"That's low…lower than your height…"

See only Ichiru can get away with that. I held up this spoon. "See this? This will be the instrument of your demise." I stuck my tongue out.

"Giving up on the Force already?"

"Hell no, this is a new brand of lightsaber!"

"Riiiiiight."

The next day I told the Club everything I knew. "My staff thinks I'm insane for not knowing what the hell is going on."

"The less you know, the better," Kyoya said practically. Now he sounds like Lelouch.

"Fear not my darling Kotone! Your darling uncle will protect you!" (Uncle? Huh? This is one fucked up family tree…)

For the next couple days the Club worked hard after the ladies left. They were super busy getting blueprints, menus, and talking on the phone to all kinds of people. Especially the twins…they were enjoying this waaaaay too much. Hunny and Mori invited me to sit with them more often that week…something about 'studying my character'…

The night before the date I couldn't sleep…mom had come back and required me to have a manicure, pedicure, facial, wax, hair cut (luckily just a trim), and a shower. She was really putting all her effort into this one…I just hoped this date would positively crash and burn.

**A/N: I don't own Edward Elric, the song 'Triple Baka' by Hatsune Miku, Inuyasha, Naruto, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Haven, internet memes, the Ginyu Force, Soul Eater, Fairy Tail, Shrek, Phantom of the Opera, the Potato Song, Coca Cola, Princess Diaries, Pnina Tornai, Harry Potter, Bleach, Tokyo Mew Mew, Elekra, Hetalia, Black Butler, Pokémon, 'Enter Sandman' by Metallica, FedEx, Skip Beat!, Aida, Tokyo Ballet, Swan Lake, The Nutcracker, Chanel, Gucci, Prada, 'What's Up People' by MAXIMUM the HORMONE, James Bond, Twilight, Ellen DeGeneres, Finding Nemo, Lord of the Rings, Mei-chan no Shitsuji, and Star Wars.**

**Thanks for reading! Check out the Deviant Art!**


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I was gone all summer and had little to no internet access. This chapter is for my awesome Japanese friends cuz they read my stuff. I hope you enjoy!**

Normally an alarm wakes me up with some form of an opening of Bleach. So therefore when I heard the door open early that morning, I already knew this day was gonna suck.

"Kotone. Wake up." It was my mom. Waking me up. At 5:30 in the morning for the 2:00 pm matinee ballet performance. Life is wonderful.

"Get up now, we have a lot of work to do if you are to look presentable for Daniel, I'm sure he's already hard at work preparing himself for you." Bull shit, Dani takes like 10 minutes to get ready, all he has to do is equip clothes and like a watch. Anyway I got up and saw my mom with her hair in rollers, dressed in a bathrobe. "Go and shower, make sure you wash well, you will have breakfast when you get out."

That's some form of encouragement…I guess…I went and took my shower, when I got out about 20 minutes later she was gone, but I heard a blow dryer down the hall so I assumed she was getting her hair done. There was a knock at the door, I opened it after putting on my robe.

It was Ichiru and he was making a face. "Your breakfast," he said.

He handed it over to me and I opened the lid. "Uh…not to be a bitch or anything, but what the fuck is that?"

His face scrunched up in distaste. "An egg-whites only omelet with bleu cheese, spinach, and zucchini, a side of vegan fat-free low carb ham, and gluten-free low carb, multi-grain toast with sugar free apricot jam. And organic orange juice."

"Uhhh…da FUCK?!"

"I had to make that!" Poor guy was crying and I can't blame him, he had to MAKE all of this. As in home made. He was probably up all night trying to squeeze enough oranges to fill a carafe! Seriously, I don't even drink that much!

"So…what do I do with it?"

"You're supposed to eat it." No. Not happening. Apparently Ichiru thought so too because he took a peek outside and made sure no one was in the hallway. He ran in, shut the door, took the tray from me, handed me the carafe of OJ and literally threw it out the window.

"Um...you just threw food out the window."

"No worries, Ami is down below, see?" Sure enough, Ami had a trash bag and deftly caught my breakfast.

"Here's your real breakfast." From underneath his toque he pulled out a bento-style 3 tiered lunch box. It had a cheese omelet, a side of home fries, a fork, and a straw.

"Ichiru, I love you. Marry me?"

He laughed. "I'm not your type remember? You seem to like your men short and blonde who carry pink bunnies." He smirked at me.

"…Right…"

"Anyway, enjoy your breakfast even I'm not stupid enough to give you the one Patron sent for. From a cook, that shit isn't edible and you would throw up."

"About that, what are you going to do with the real breakfast?"

"Give it to Sasuke, see if he likes it better than eating squirrels." He left. Man, I love that guy. So once I finished scarfing my breakfast, I got up and walked over to my window and looked down. Ami was there with a trash bag. She waved and I waved back as I dropped my dirty dishes into the trash bag. This gives the term 'doing dishes' a whole new meaning…

"KOTONE! Get away from the window, do you want to get yourself sick by standing there?" Yes. Yes I do.

I walked over and stood in front of her. She was still in her bathrobe but her hair and make-up was all finished. She looked really pretty with her hair in a long ponytail…it reminded me of my hair, except I've never dyed mine.

"Brush your teeth and comb your hair, I'm trying to call my stylist to bring you some acceptable samples for your date." Whoopee. I did as she said and by the time I was done, her make-up guru people had come and set up in my room. I had barely taken a step out of my bathroom when they attacked me with a hairbrush and mascara. It took them three hours. Three BLOODY hours for them to pull and tug my hair into a simple hairstyle with my hair half up and the rest cascading in curls and braids. It was pretty, but the make-up was too heavy…they used too much eye shadow and made my eyes super dark…huh, it kinda looked like the black swan's make-up only a little less evil…

When I was finally done being made up, mom was dressed in a LITTLE little black dress, long sleeved, coming low-ish in the back with a thick red ribbon just beneath the bust. She was still trying to get a hold of her stylist who 'should have been here ages ago'. Just then the doorbell rang.

"FINALLY," she exclaimed. She turned to Ami. "Show them in here." Thanks mom, as if I didn't have enough shit in my room as is. A minute after Ami left, there was a knock on my door and Ami showed in two assistants. Except they weren't assistants.

It was the twins.

They were identically dressed in black shirts, black dress pants, and black vests. Today their hair was black and messy looking and they were carrying several large clothing bags. I swear they looked like members of Super Junior or something, cuz they were looking pretty damn good. Ami was almost drooling.

They both bowed. "We apologize for being late, we had er…problems to take care of," Hikaru said. Kaoru visibly blushed. Oh boy…this ought to be interesting…especially since Rin, Ami, Sango, and Zakuro were in the room…and everyone in the house knows Zakuro loves yaoi.

"It took you long enough! Did you bring the items I requested," my mom asked scathingly.

Kaoru nodded. "We did, shall we show them?" My mom waved her hand and the twins put the clothing bags on a rack my mom provided. My mom has weird shit…anyway Kaoru was arranging them on the rack when Hikaru came to stand right behind him and began blowing on the back of his neck. Kaoru blushed on cue but didn't falter in his job. Zakuro's eyes got a little bit larger. Mom was still texting when they pulled out my first outfit. Mom looked up and dropped her phone.

It was a large pink bunny costume. Hee, I would look just like Usa-chan…WHOA BRILLIANT IDEA! If I'm Usa-chan, Hunny would want to hold me all the time…I AM A BRILLIANT MASTERMIND! Except for the fact that I look nothing like the pink bunny…

"WHAT IS THIS?!" Mom was PISSED. The maids were all red from trying not to laugh.

Kaoru began reading from scribbles on his hand. "This is her 'custom fitted pink outfit in cashmere with matching head-piece'."

Hikaru slid his arm around Kaoru's waist. "I think you would look good in it brother."

"Brother! This is for the customer," Kaoru whined. Zakuro's yaoi senses were tingling.

"You're right, you know what you should wear?" Hikaru whispered something into Kaoru's ear and he turned bright red. I snorted.

"This is NOT what I ordered," Mom said.

"Ma'am, a description of the outfit is on the receipt." Kaoru plucked it from the clothing bag as Hikaru's arms slid around his waist. Zakuro pulled out her popcorn. "'One pink floor length cashmere outfit with headpiece'."

Mom snatched it away from Kaoru just as Hikaru slid the tie off Kaoru. She scanned the receipt. "This is not what I ordered, some of the receipt is missing!"

"Why would you say that ma'am?" She held it up to them. It was cut into a snowflake. "Ah. Well we brought the only floor length cashmere outfit we have, we will check the other outfits, the orders could have been confused."

They checked and thank goodness for the twins. They fucked up every one of moms orders so it was longer, less see through, without feathers, and overall just more appropriate for my style. They had made them all themselves.

"This is unacceptable! I demand a full refund!"

Hikaru "I'm afraid that's not possible ma'am. We haven't passed GO and we haven't collected $200."

"What?"

"You see, we need to stop cuz it's hammer time-"

"You will do NO such thing!"

Hikaru opened a button on Kaoru's shirt and slid his hand onto his twin's chest. "I know what 'thing' I'd like to d-" Kaoru slapped a hand over Hikaru's mouth and Zakuro got a nosebleed.

Mom picked up her phone "I'm calling your supervisor right now, who is he?"

The twins pointed at each other. "He's my supervisor!"

Mom blinked slowly. Oh this was getting good. I couldn't help it. "I'm sure you take VERY good care of each other."

The twins placed their hands on each other's asses, smirked at me, and nodded. Hikaru took advantage of Kaoru's nodding to nip at the back of his neck. Kaoru yelped and jumped away. Mom was staring at them like they were insane. Luckily for us, she then got a phone call. "WHAT?" She left the room.

Kaoru rubbed the back of his neck. "Damnit Hikaru, that last one hurt."

"Sorry, but she's not getting the idea to LEAVE."

"Is that what this is all about," Sango asked. They nodded. "You guys make it pretty convincing."

"We try," they said simultaneously. "Is your mom always like this?"

"Not always, but I think today her Viki's Secret thong is crawling too far up the no-go zone."

Everyone snorted. "Well thank goodness we didn't pass 'GO' then." We all attempted to keep straight faces as my mom re-entered the room.

"That was my agent. He needs me for a quick photo shoot for some new Victoria's Secret thongs." Oh the irony. "I should be back in time to see you off…I have a phone conference in 5 minutes so I'll make this brief." She cleared her voice. Oh boy, a speech. "You know, I used to be your age Kotone-"

"Until you took an arrow to the knee?" Oh gosh those twins…

"What?"

"Nothing," Kaoru said.

"You know, an arrow hit me too," Hikaru said. He unbuttoned his top two buttons, took Kaoru's hand and placed beneath his shirt over his heart. "It hit right here." CHEESE! That was cheesier than the MOON.

She scowled just as her phone began ringing. She turned to the twins. "There's no time to fix this wardrobe malfunction, just help her find something to wear. If she doesn't look presentable I will personally make sure neither of you have a place in the fashion industry!" Then she left. The twins opened their mouths to speak but I put my hand up. Wait for it…when I heard the loud BANG of the front door, I knew the coast was clear. "She's gone." All the maids let out a collective sigh of relief and Zakuro hastily dabbed at her nose.

"Wow," the twins said in unison.

"You mom is uh-" began Hikaru.

"-well she's kinda-" Kaoru continued.

"She thinks she's the coolest of all shits," I finished for them.

"Well put Kotone-sama," Rin said.

"You mean to tell me the twincest is THIS hot and you WON'T have a threesome with them?!" Wow Zakuro, wow. She even shut the twins up.

"Zakuro, you do know that it was all an act?"

"Yeah, so was this." She held up a small tube of fake blood.

"You have the coolest maids," the twins said. They all beamed.

"So…now what?" I asked. "It's only 10:30, we've got plenty of time for whatever."

They grinned evilly. "Whatever?"

Oh shit.

They whisked me to my bathroom and began rubbing off mom's make-up. Ami brought in my iPod on its dock and began my pre-game playlist. 'JPN Pride' by Miyavi began blasting not-too-loudly in my bathroom.

"The samurai guitarist," Hikaru asked curiously.

"There is nothing more awesome and quite frankly I need 'awesome' to get me pumped for this shit. Plus it pisses mom off." They nodded philosophically. "So was that even her agent who called?"

"Nah, that was Mori-senpai with only 2 hours of sleep." Oh boy, I've heard the stories. "We just sent her on a wild goose chase for a while so we could prep you properly. It'll take her at least until 1:30 to get back here." I nodded and we all sang the chorus of the song.

"So remind me again why we are pissing my mom off to high hell?"

"Because the more pissed she is as random stuff gone wrong, the less likely it is she will blame Dani and you. Plus its exceedingly fun to ruin your dates Kotone."

And not a single fuck was given. Ten minutes later the twins showed me my real dress options.

"Damn guys, these things are so cute!" My room was a mess now. Zakuro and Ami were doing the dance for 'Fantastic Baby', Rin and Sango were goose-stepping in time, there were clothes and make-up everywhere, and the twins were now jumping on my bed sing along (badly) to the awesome song on my awesome playlist of awesomeness.

"Go with the green one, our mom liked it best."

"Your MOM made this?!"

"Yeah she kinda caught us sewing this stuff and when she heard it was for you she decided to use you as a model. She wants pictures too."

"Will do, your mom's a boss." I went into the bathroom and tried it on. It was a simple long-sleeve, above the knee dress in a forest greet color. The sleeves were slightly billowy and the dress was A-line. The only detail on the dress was a shiny black ribbon that sat at my natural waist. So basically I looked nice without being slutty. Mrs. Hitachiin deserves a fucking award. When I stepped out, the twins stopped bouncing on my bed and Ami and Zakuro stopped dancing to fetch a pair of shoes.

"Wow Kotone-senpai, you look good," they said in unison.

I twirled, letting the dress float up but revealing nothing since I wore a pair of seamless shorts beneath it. I heard the click of a camera. "This dress is the bomb you guys, thank your mom for me…I should buy her something…"

"No need, this is free advertising and free commercial feedback, our mom doesn't need anything in retu-"

"How does your mom feel about Mexican sweet bread." The twins drooled a bit.

"On second thought, you can pay her in food I'm sure she won't mind."

Thought so. They took a gagillion more pictures of me and then at around noon we sat down for lunch. Ichiru decided to make clam chowder with freshly baked sourdough bread which was exceedingly amazingly delicious. The twins ate with us and quickly declared Ichiru a genius. We were just about to sit down for dessert when we heard a BAM. Mom was home and it was only 12:30. Ichiru sprung into action. He whisked up the tiramisu, grabbed the two extra place settings and dragged the twins down to the kitchen where they could exit. I waved as I ran out the dining room door and into the parlor.

I straightened my dress and had just sat to read a book when the door burst open and mom stood their fuming. I stood and bowed. "Welcome back mom. Was your-"

"My agent called. My REAL agent telling me that I never had a photo shoot today. Instead I have two tomorrow." Oh. Well that sorta sucked…photo shoots can take forever, depending on who is shooting them. I would know, she used to drag me to all of hers when I was a kid. "Where are those damn stylists?"

On a train on their way to Hogwarts. "They left not long after you." She was livid but nodded. Then she did her x-ray examination of my outfit. I was already wearing a custom made dress and black stilettos by Christian Louboutin. My shoes alone could have bought roughly 39 harp strings, one small lap harp, or a 7-tier cake. SHE BETTER NOT FUCKING COMPLAIN.

"A little plain but it will have to do." Thanks mom, my confidence level just skyrocketed. "Now I wanted to speak with you about dating." Oh boy…she went on about it and I swear she was quoting a wedding ceremony somewhere in there. It was about 1 pm when I heard a knock on the door. Thank sweet merciful goodness she stopped talking.

She checked her watch and squealed a bit. "It's 1:03, Dani must be early!" She dragged me out to the grand hall where all the maids had assembled looking as bored as they could without appearing rude.

Mom fiddled with her hair for a second, then opened the door. "Welcome Dan-"

"TRICK OR TREAT!" Everyone froze. Hunny was at the door. Dressed as Frankenstein. He was painted green, wore a black squarish wig, nuts and bolts on his neck and wrists, and he wore purple pants, a white torn shirt and an oversized tailcoat that dragged on the ground behind him. He was holding out an orange pumpkin basket. I held my breath and tried not to die laughing.

"What is-"

"TRICK OR TREAT!"

"Who are-"

"TRICK OR TREAT!"

"IT'S NOT HALLOWEEN!" Silence. It was so thick you could cut it with a knife and butter toast with it. Then Hunny began tearing up. First a frown, then the sniffle, then the bottom lip, and it took all I had not to run over and huggle the hell out of him.

"*sniff* …it's not?" His arms fell and he bowed his head. Code red, the floodgates are about to open! But then he lifted his head and he was smiling like nothing happened. "OKAY! I WALK THIS WAY!" He grabbed the doorknob and slammed the door shut.

Mom was shocked. The maids were shocked. I was mind fucked. Then the doorbell rang again.

Mom again primed herself and opened the door. "Hell…" She stopped in the middle of her speech. Tamaki stood at the door dressed as Marie Antionette holding her (or is it his?) head in his arm. I just couldn't get over the fact that his head was wearing a wig and Tamaki had boobs!

"Excuse me madam, do you have time to learn about Jesus Christ?"

She screamed and slammed the door shut. "WHO THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Well it wasn't the Girl Scouts, so then I have no idea who would come to our house in the dead of winter. Mom was still hyperventilating as the doorbell rang AGAIN. I bet mom was wishing for a peephole in those mahogany doors…ooh Sasuke can try out his new drill! That is of course, if his laser eyes are out of order.

"Wha-?!"

"Hi." Oh Mori. Only you could pull off one-liners using one word. He was standing there, at my door dressed as fucking Romeo. I know because he was holding a copy of Romeo and Juliette upside-down. "To be, or not to be, that is the question: whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer the Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune, or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles…" And I guess Romeo was cosplaying as Hamlet. Mom didn't even bother answering, she just closed the door in his face.

Then there was another knock. Mom opened the door mechanically. It was Kyoya. He was dressed in a tunic and breeches and had a bow and arrow. "Pardon me madam, but you have been volunteered as tribute."

"I've been wha-?"

"Volunteered."

"For wha-?"

"Hunger Games." ALL OF THE WIN KYOYA! I take back most everything I said about you, you are not such a mister grumpy gills after all! She slammed the door in his face and rubbed her brow. This was just awesome…then there was another knock on the door. She didn't answer it. It knocked again. Still nothing. After the knocking was heard a third time, mom stormed over, wretched open the door and shouted "WHAT?!"

"Umm…I'm here to pick up Kotone-chan." Poor Dani, she stood in the door with a black suit and a small bouquet of flowers.

"Dani! How wonderful to see you at last!" Mom squashed her face to her bosom. Dani flailed a little before mom let go. Dani bowed to me.

"Nice to see you again Kotone." She handed me the flowers which I gave to Ami to put in water.

"You too Dani-kun. Shall we go?" Get me the hell away from this woman.

"Of course. Unfortunately there was a little bit of a mix up with the limo, so we will be taking something else."

We stepped outside (with mom following us) and I snorted. It was a bus. But not just any bus, no. We were taking the Magic FUCKING School Bus to the ballet. This day was going to be okay. While mom was staring at our sweet ride, I turned, bowed to her and said "Okay mom, I'll see you when I get back no need to wait up for me bye!" We ran into the school bus and Joey peeled out of there faster than you could say "to the bus".

**A/N: I don't own Bleach, The Black Swan, Super Junior, Monopoly, 'Can't Touch This' by MC Hammer, Victoria's Secret, internet memes, "JPN Pride' by Miyavi, 'Fantastic Baby' by BIGBANG, Hogwarts, Christian Louboutin, Young Frankenstein, Girl Scouts, Shakespeare, or The Hunger Games.**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Sorry this took so long guise, I wasn't feeling very inspired or motivated, but no fear! Now I am!**

With a screech of the bus wheels we began moving…slowishly….

"C'MON JOEY, SIX-WHEEL DRIVE!"

"THAT DOESN'T COME STANDARD ON MAGIC SCHOOL BUSES KOTONE-SAMA!"

"WELL IT SHOULD!" Dani gave me a weird look as the bus shifted and we sped off towards the auspiciously obviously spacious (try saying THAT ten times fast) location for the ballet. Along the way, we stopped at a gas station and swapped vehicles into a limo.

"Nice," Dani said appreciatively.

"Yup, now we look classy as fuck for all the paparazzi mom has undoubtedly ordered for us."

"Oh boy, I always wanted a paparazzi." Dani said sarcastically in Spanish.

"Me too."

"You guys better not be talking about me," Joey shouted from the front.

"Of course not Joseph, we would never talk of you," I snorted

"…my name ain't Joseph…"

"Neither is mine."

We all shared a laugh and then drove in silence to the venue. When we got there, there were a bunch of ladies in fancy dresses and dudes in penguin suits. Aaaaand…

"Holy shit, is that all for us?" No fewer than 20 photographers and 35 or so reporters were there waiting for two teenagers to appear for an awkward date. I slid up to the front of the limo. "Joey can you PLEASE take us anywhere but here?" Dani nodded in agreement.

"Like where?"

"Narnia," I suggested.

"Or Hogsmeade," Dani muttered.

"Isengard, where the hobbits are."

"Perhaps to Asgard."

"That or the Soul Society."

"Or you could put on the Polar Express."

"Or the Crazy Train."

"You realize I PHYSICALLY cannot send you to any of those places?"

"Would pouting persuade you," I asked.

"No, I'm blind."

"But-"

"I'm blind to your pouting. Immune. Vaccinated. Does not compute."

"Fine…Dani, are you ready to enter hell?"

"As long as we don't enter like Don Giovanni did, I think I'll survive."

"Damn good opera, here we go. Don't forget. Sabotage." Dani grinned and nodded to me. One of the opera workers opened the door and Dani stepped out. Immediately the paparazzi ran over and began snapping pictures. Dani like a true gentleman did not help me out of the car and I got out myself without doing a celebrity mishap in showing off my undergarments (not like they could see them anyway, I was wearing shorts underneath). After I stepped out, mom's car came up oh-so-discreetly and she dragged Dani's dad out by the arm. He looked absolutely fucking THRILLED to be there. Barfing rainbows and shitting glitter happy.

Anyway, as the car pulled away, I saw Mori. Dressed in a black leather bodysuit and sunglasses. (Dani and Mori were both blushing scarlet.) He had a boombox on his shoulder and giant earphones he quickly put on. Then he pressed the play button.

"I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN, I'LL FOLLOW YOU UNTIL YOU LOVE ME! PAPA, PAPARAZZI!" Oh well how fitting, the paparazzi were swarming me and Dani and all I could do was sing along. Oh well.

Dani and I quickly walked (a foot away from each other) up the stairs and out of the reach of the reporters who now deemed us 'an ideal couple'. Ideal couple my ass, you know who's an ideal couple? Jaejoong and Yunho, or so Zakuro tells me. She ships them SO HARD.

Dani was quite obviously ignoring me as I faked tripping. Dani glanced at me and scoffed. I gave her a bitch face better than Kris of EXO. This was gonna be good. We walk over to the staircase where I spotted an odd sight, a flying monkey from the Wizard of Oz, two blondes, a goat, butler cosplay, and a bouquet of balloons. Except it was kinda fucked up, because it was Kyoya and Hunny who were the blondes, the goat was wearing the cosplay and the balloons was keeping Hunny (dressed as a flying monkey), eyelevel with the guests who handed him their tickets. Hunny then proceeded to allow the goat to bite off the ticket stub and Kyoya handed them a Playbill and a Subway coupon. I don't even know…

"Cool, Subway!" I glanced at Dani, but her impermeable poker face was set.

"What crass staff, so undignified."

I kept quiet as I reached into my bag for the tickets and handed them to Hunny. He handed them to 'Yagi-senpai' (how is the goat older?) and let him take off the stubs. I finally noticed something about Kyoya and Hunny. Not only was his hair blond, oh no the Host Club would never settle for something so mundane. But why the hell did they give Kyoya super saiyen hair? And while on that subject, why did Hunny's hair look like Yugi Moto's? I mean, it's a good look, but dear goodness, it didn't help that he now looked like a dueling monkey.

"Enjoy the show," Kyoya said with a British accent. Whose I idea was it to open a whole can of I-don't-give-a-fuck? Cuz this is redonculous.

Dani and I walked up the stairs to where our box 5 seats (which WILL be kept empty for us) were located.

Dani closed the door after me and we sat down. "So tell me, WHY on Earth did your mother feel the need to buy out this entire box just for us?"

"Hell if I know, she does what she wants…" I looked around before poking Dani quietly and indicating for her to listen. "Do you think Erik is in there," I whispered, pointing to the pillar in the far right corner of our box.

"Who?"

"The phantom," I hissed. Her eyes widened and she stood up and knocked on the pillar. We both smiled, knowing no one would knock back…that is until we heard three knocks back.

"OH SHIT!" I yelled running to the opposite side of the box, Dani on my heels.

"Fear not maidens, it's me," the pillar said.

"Oh, well in that case I guess we'll just have to relax then," Dani said sarcastically.

"Nah, it's okay Dani-kins." She gave me an odd look at the honorific. "What's up Tamaki?" Part of the marble sunk in and moved over. (TOTALLY not freaky AT ALL.) Tamaki's face appeared, creepier than Nicholas Cage.

"Hello fair maidens, and how fare the-"

"We fare fine Tamaki, why are you creeping in a pillar?"

Immediately his face turned emo. "I'm not creeping…" he said, his eyes watering like another member of our Club. Immediately this reminded me of EXO's song 'Baby Don't Cry. What the hell brain?

"Okay, so you aren't creeping, so wanna tell me why you appeared out of a pillar? Or is that Tardis and I just can't see it?"

Dani gawked at me. "You're a Whovian?" I shrugged and she and I exchanged knowing grins, imagining Tamaki in a spiffy bowtie.

Tamaki had been rambling about his hiding place until now. "…And after that I changed out of the banana costume and I came here. So that is how I came to be in the pillar." _You're the Banana King Charlie!_

I shook my head. _The fuck, brain? _"Right. So didja wanna tell us something?"

"I have a messege from Hunny-senpai. And cake."

"Wha-?" He whipped out a small chocolate cheesecake. Dani and I drooled.

Tamaki shrugged as he handed me the cake. "Apparently the cake does exist."

"Oh my God, the internet is over," I stated. Tamaki and Dani gave me a strange look. I shrugged. "Got any forks Tamaki?"

He handed two over. "Anyway I wanted to tell you not to use the elevators."

"Why?"

"We have someone hip-thrusting in there."

"Oh okay." An I thought this date was gonna be boring.

"Kotone-san, looks like you're parents have arrived," I looked over at Tamaki (who was looking through a telescope) and then down to the crowd. Sure enough mom's opera glasses were trained to our box and Dani's dad looked like he REEEAAALLY didn't want to be there. "Well I must leave you now ladies, I need to change into my bathrobe." He saluted us and replaced the marble cut-out."

"…Well that was interesting," I said, sitting down.

"Did he just say he was going to put on a bathrobe?"

"He sure did."

"Odd…" I can think about 10 more odd things, number one being the thought of how funny it would be if it was Mori hip thrusting in the elevator. Dani sat down next to me with a sigh. "So now what?"

"Um…act like you hate me."

"Huh?" Dani forgot. "Oh right." She gave me a pointedly disappointed stare. "I will ignore you now. You displease me." She turned her back. Then she turned back to me and sternly stared at me. "You should slap me at some point."

My jaw dropped. "I can't slap you, you're a girl!"

"Well so are you…"

"You know what I mean." My eyes found my mom…again…damn genetic radar. "She's staring at us again…c'mon Dani-kun, work that charm."

She shook her head. "So…you on Pottermore?"

I tried to keep a straight face. I seriously need to set this girl up with our resident Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome, she and him would be so fucking awkward together. Plus Mori has a Pottermore. Hunny told me. "Uh…no. I haven't had a chance to make an account."

She stared at me in pure shock. "You're worse than a Hufflepuff!"

"What the hell is a Hufflepuff?" She gawked at me. "I'm kidding, I read the series."

She nodded sagely. We pretended to look angry as we chatted about our OTPs and after a minute, she banged her hand against the armrest. "You should pretend to cry now," she said, her eyes flickering to my mom, who was staring directly at us. She's doing the creep.

I sat up straight. "Okay, give me a second," I said. BAM. Seconds up, and tears are running down my face.

She crossed her arms, still trying to look stern. Her mouth was twitching though. "That was fast."

"Yeah, I just imagined you stealing my cake and the waterworks turned on."

"You would cry if I stole your cake?"

"No, I'd give you three seconds to run before I hunt you down." Her lips twitched again.

"So does the same concept work for other stuff? What would you do for a Klondike bar," she asked me.

"I wouldn't do jack shit. KitKat bars however are a different story."

"What would you do for a KitKat bar?"

"No one is safe in their beds." I channeled my inner evil Kyoko Mogami…it was more evil than Dr. Doofinshmirtz…

She turned up her nose, pretending to be a little shit and turned away from me. Just then the lights dimmed and mentally my mind said "And now, our feature presentation," in the voice they always use to start the older Disney movies.

She began poking me and her eyes grew wide. I'm amazed she was still able to do it while keeping a straight face. "It's starting, it's starting!"

"No it's not, we have to get through the previews first." She snorted as the overture began cuing up. They just finished tuning when;

"TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLL IN THE DUNGEONS!" Tamaki ran out onstage in nothing but a bathrobe and a turban.

"Oh dear…" I put my face in my hands. "_This_ is what he meant by sabotage Dani-chan."

"Oh…" Tamaki was sobbing on stage about trolls.

"Yeah. Though I must say I admire him, he makes the bathrobe/turban combination look positively dashing," I said. No seriously, that guy's perfect waistline makes me want to make whale noises, it's just so fucking pretty.

Anyway he cried for like three seconds, then stood up, bowed and said, "Enjoy the show." Then he shimmied under the curtain. Wow Tamaki, just wow.

The curtain raised and I completely tuned everyone out to watch the ballet. I don't even know if anyone came in, if Dani was alive, if the place was on fire, hell I didn't even check my phone to see if anyone updated their fanfictions (I can't believe there's an app for that…). I was enraptured. It was nice to hear the music I missed so much. In a strange way, I was glad for this date otherwise I would be stuck trying to make some sort of awkward conversation with Dani and pretending to like her enough. We still had yet to figure out how she was going to break up with me at the end of the date, yeah that was gonna be interesting.

When the curtain closed for intermission, I stood up and cracked my back.

Dani pretended to turn her nose up to me. "So unladylike…" she said in a British accent. We both knew the adults were watching, but I know my mom can't read lips. I would know. She tried it on me once but I kept messing her up when I swapped between languages.

I gave her a pouty look like she had said something mean. "Nah, in comparison to what I normally do, this positively reeks Queen Victoria."

"Why Queen Victoria."

"Cuz I'm damn sure she was one hell of a lady." We exited the box and I ran into a wall again (Mori was guarding the door.) I was thrown off balance and was about to fall when a little blonde ninja caught me.

"You okay Koto-chan," his eyes blinked at me. _Oh geez why does he have to be so fucking cute ALL THE DAMN TIME. This isn't even fair, I swear there's some sort of black magic shit that makes him grow shorter and makes his eyes exponentially big when he wants cake! And while I'm at it, what the hell is up with his metabolism?! He eats cake and still has a six pack-oh hell why did I have to bring those into the mix, I swear any of the girls at school see his abs and there goes their ovaries! Even his arms-!_

"Koto-chan?"

"Huh-what?" Nice, just what I wanted to say. So intelligent. "Uh, sorry. I'm okay Mitskuni."

He set me on my feet and we both happened to glance over and see a curious sight. Apparently Dani had crashed into Mori too. And he caught her. Around her waist. And his face was inches from her's. Can anyone say K-drama? They were both blushing and Mori was gaping like a fish trying to express all his amazing feelings and speech prowess into one word. Poor guy.

I glanced over at Hunny who was smiling mischievously at the two. "I think we should set up another date with Dani-chan. With Takashi."

I smiled as Mori righted Dani and mumbled 'sorry'. His ears looked like turnips. "I bet you two strawberry cakes he asks Dani for her number by the end of the day."

"Nope! I bet two ice cream cakes and a chocolate cheese cake that he gives her a kiss before she leaves." _Dear geez I hope I'm right I fucking want cheese cake now._

We all headed down to the lobby. Which was now a circus. Because Host Club logic. I swear they just throw random ideas into a fish bowl and pick out 20 of them and that's how they sabotage a date. They even had elephants! HOW did those things get in the door? Did they break physics? Or the doors? Maybe the roof is detachable. Yeah I bet that's it, that sounds the most logical.

Dani looked at me in awe. "You don't look surprised."

"It's the Host Club. If I got surprised by this then I clearly haven't been spending enough time around these guys." Behind us Hunny began balancing on top of a ball and Mori was breathing fire. "Hey Mori, how did you learn to-"

"Youtube." Of course.

Dani offered her arm to me pretending to look positively offended by all they circus-y things happening around us. (Even though all the other patrons seemed to think this was completely awesome). "Shall we?"

"Yes Daniel, we shall."

We swept (yeah swept, because walking was too mainstream) down the staircase and into the lobby. Tamaki was juggling, Hikaru was sticking his head in a lion's mouth, Kaoru was on top of the elephant, and Kyoya was sawing Haruhi in half. She looked bored. I went over to Haruhi, pitying her situation. (Cuz honestly, being stuck in a box and sawed in half on a weekend doesn't sound all that fun.) "Whose idea was this?"

"Mori-senpai's." Well now I'm just confused. Maybe he just wanted to learn the fire jutsu and is fooling all of us into thinking he learned it off the internet.

"Well um…have fun, I guess?" She nodded just as Kyoya finished sawing and separated the parts into two. After maybe twenty minutes it was time for us to go back in.

"Well that was fun," I said, sporting a balloon hat. I glanced over to the parentals. Mom looked livid while Dani's dad got a balloon parrot."

"I know I'm frowning right now, but just know I thought this was completely awesome," Dani replied, eating some cotton candy.

"Yeah, pity they didn't need a contortionist, I would have volunteered." Dani stared wide-eyed at me. "I'm kidding, I can't flip myself inside out or whatever they do."

"I see, either way by now I am thoroughly convinced you are bad ass."

I snorted. "I'm not bad ass. I'm just awesome in extraneous circumstances." It was her turn to snort.

We reached our box and sat down. "Ready for part two," I asked.

"I don't know…do you think the Host Club will do something unusual again?"

"Undoubtedly." She looked panicked. "I wouldn't worry too much, I've learned by now there's no possible way to stop them. They're kinda like zombies in that way."

"So much better looking zombies," Dani mumbled.

"I so heard that."

"Do you deny it?"

"…no…"

"Exactly."

"Damn."

The lights dimmed. "Well I'm not the one eyeing Mori-senpai, now am I."

She blushed but smirked back at me. "You're right, you're not. You're too busy eyeing his cousin." She got me on that one.

"We should hang out sometime."

"We should, this is by far the most intelligent conversation I've had with a girl since I came to Japan."

"Wow, the girls at your school were that bad?"

"I was at St. Lobelias."

"That explains everything."

We stopped talking as the music started up again. It was the Harlem Shake. The curtains opened right before the beat dropped and I saw the entire Host Club, in ballet attire doing…dancing. I think. Tamaki was flailing on the ground, Hunny was throwing snowflakes, Mori was practicing kendo, the twins were square dancing, Kyoya was surrounded by unsolved rubicks cubes, and Haruhi was in a tutu offering a stage hand some tea.

"Their creative capacity is really quite stunning, don't you think," Dani said looking at me.

"That's one way to put it."

**A/N: I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! Ugh I feel so bad, but school and work and life and just everything happened plus writer's block. I'll try to update sometime in December to finish off this date…I kinda wanna go on a date like this just for the shock factor of it all. Anyways, thanks for reading! Review please!**

**Oh and I own nothing. I won't even bother trying to list everything now…**


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